Metroid general

[I'm Retarded?]

I didn't check very hard to see if it's been posted yet, but check out this video - even the fucking IGN reviewer is pissed off about the soyboy retard character, lmao:

EDIT: okay this is literally the video everyone is sperging out over lmao. well, if you haven't seen it yet, here it is.

 

[Miller]

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what did he mean by this

It's crazy how much the aesthetic reminds me of Halo 4 and 5. The surface on that screenshot is similar to the planet Genesis from Halo 5.
The tropical rainforest section looks like the beginning of the Infinity mission in Halo 4 where the Chief has to locate the crew that crash-landed on Requiem.

 

[Soggy Floppa]

It's crazy how much the aesthetic reminds me of Halo 4 and 5. The surface on that screenshot is similar to the planet Genesis from Halo 5.
The tropical rainforest section looks like the beginning of the Infinity mission in Halo 4 where the Chief has to locate the crew that crash-landed on Requiem.

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a lot of ex 343 are at retro now

 

[FrogMinutes]

a lot of ex 343 are at retro now

I wonder if they were specifically hired because they also hate metroid too.
worked great with halo.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

This shit sickens me
I wish we got this a decade earlier to avoid the open world and reddit soyboy

 

[Jason_Cruiser]

That's the problem. The way she's drawn or depicted conflicts significantly with both her entire job and lifestyle, and the actual literal stats used to describe her.

Samus's power armour is what gives her strength, she herself only needs to be concerned with being fit and flexible enough to fit in to her armour and being able to contort into the proper form for the morph-ball.

She was genetically modified by bird aliens.

And this.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

 

[StacticShock]

And this.

she also got combat training from said bird people.

Frogmire video

saw the thumb and thought it was futaman but no it's his scalie brother.
at least there will be a critique of sorts rather than being a shitty buzzword salad about soy, reddit and woke.

 

[Lone MacReady II]

Samus's power armour is what gives her strength,

At this point I'm wondering how Prime Remastered was handled so well... Samus looked like a beast of a tank in that game. If we're going for realism instead of coombait this is probably her best design imo.

remember me?

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no, nigger.

She was genetically modified by bird aliens.

Speaking of bird aliens, since I have no reason or desire to give Prime 4 the benefit of the doubt now... how is the Lore gonna be? Maybe no one gives a shit about that compared to everything else, but in game flavor text is actually one of my favorite things about the Prime games. The universe was cool and logical, technical. Prime was the series that made the Space Pirates into actual science bros. instead of cheesy Power Rangers villains. If you need a refresh look up some of the planets from Prime 3 like Bryyo or Elysia, the Prime 2 Trooper logs, or anything from Tallon IV. It was just fun to read and fleshed out the world better than any quipping NPC.

Bryyo as a planet is one of the coolest. The Bryyonians were a people advanced enough for the Chozo to party with them, then they descended into a brutal generational civil war. It was basically a conflict between technology and tradition. Over the years the planet got so fucked up from all the advanced weapons of war that Bryyo itself became tidally locked - meaning the planet Stopped Rotating. Eventually the Bryyonians basically nuked themselves back into the stone age. The coolest part? All the reptilicus monsters you kill on the planet - are them. The Reptilicus are the Bryyonians, just so backwards and stunted that they have devolved into tribalistic savages. Awesome.

I fear Prime 4 won't have anything near as good as that...

 

[StacticShock]

how is the Lore gonna be?

depends? it will be dread-style in which the chozo were retconned into absolute retardation or it will be prime 3 esque horrors in space? if the former then psi power will be some very retarded shit and samus will be female goku and if the latter the psi power will be like phazon and we will see what it has done to the place and why it's dangerous... le sigh, preemptively because we just can't have horrors in space anymore since writers are too "industry standard" for that shit.

 

[00R-Gundam]

Imagine if somehow, that redditor soy boy ends up hooking with Samus by the end. Im feeling that might be the case or atleast they becomes buddies and youll now see him in future installments.

 

[Problematic User Forever]

Wow, actually watched the video. It's like the annoying guy from Halo: Infinite dialed to 10.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Samus's power armour is what gives her strength, she herself only needs to be concerned with being fit and flexible enough to fit in to her armour and being able to contort into the proper form for the morph-ball.

She's strong without it too, but it's human level-ish stuff. I don't like the idea that a character who's supposed to be an expert at what they do would be useless without a layer of techy armor over them. Like yeah there's a clear boost but it shouldn't be the end all be all if it makes sense.

At this point I'm wondering how Prime Remastered was handled so well... Samus looked like a beast of a tank in that game. If we're going for realism instead of coombait this is probably her best design imo.

Something looks really fucking off with the prime remastered face in the same way a lot of game remake faces look weirdly off from the character and same-y. Would have been neat if they tried making a 3d face out of the pre-3d game drawings in my opinion, or just upscaling the first one.

While trying to find a decent example of the gradual devolution of samus' face in the 3d games I found this funny image I'm going to share instead that's a preview image for a model rip of the face you see reflected in the visor during the entire gamecube version.

 

[Moss Monster]

I've just learned there's a Metroid Prime 3, despite the fact I own it for Wii?

 

[TheRetardKing]

Myles Mackenzie is giving me Walmart shooter vibes for some reason.

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

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Myles Mackenzie is giving me Walmart shooter vibes for some reason.

If someone doesn’t create a mod replacing the guy’s model, dialogue and voice with chuddie it’s over

 

[GlupShitto]

This shit sickens me
I wish we got this a decade earlier to avoid the open world and reddit soyboy

I can't help but suspect that the Reddit soyboy is a concept that dates back about a decade. He reminds me of Wheatley from Portal 2 and that was thirteen years ago.

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Myles Mackenzie is giving me Walmart shooter vibes for some reason.

Nevermind, this coal will be worth it for the inevitable wojaks.

 

[The Lawgiver]

My mental image the whole vid was just this.

Spoiler: Fuck

God help me.

I got the same kinda rage in me about this shit, if not more. The "fans" he talks about that hate the actual foundations of a piece of media have infested fucking EVERYTHING the last over a decade now (starting with homestuck ironically) I'm also surprised how this video almost kind of gets that once these parasites sink their teeth in shit doesn't get better. His claim about it being more profitable is dubious as the last time shit with metroid was severely changed with profit in mind (other M) everyone fucking hated it! Yes, I know that was a time before ghostbusters 2016, a time before the set formula was "call everyone sexist if your thing doesn't do well and sling other shit like pronoun dogma"

A big problem is how he presence of comic relief at all, even when done poorly in a game nowadays by internet review people just gets slapped with "millenial humor" and "oh this is because we stopped letting kids get bullied!"It's a thought stopper like a lot of buzzwords are these days. Call it what it fucking is, bad writing. That's not even getting INTO how bullying never went away and is now entrenched deep into the system as race and gender politics "orange man bad" purity test shit that turns everything into some weird caste system where you need to sling constant mantras and frame everyone as phobic to stay in the social good graces of the people at the top.

Nigger just call it what it is, writing's bad. It's not bad because it's quirky, there's quirky games and writing out there and people like it. They don't like this! it's shit! It's a skinwalker version of those quirkier dialogues! Go to any game that's somewhat serious with bits of comedic dialogue or hell, even stuff that isn't but includes a team of weird guys! Oh wait, STAR FOX. That's a go to game that's entirely full of quippy quirky shit that people actually like that also has serious stakes! You don't see people slinging that shit with "millenial humor"(yet)! TEAM FORTRESS TWO(same deal but less serious) A more recent example? would be fucking FORTNITEwelikefortnitewlikefortnitefuckyouwhorewelikeforer

No but seriously, the actual original survival mission based tower defense game version is like what this is trying to copy in terms of the seeming growing cast of characters thing it's going to pull, and it's very fucking likely going to do it so, so much worse.


I've got a personal schizo theory i may or may not have rambled about that when they decided to redo everything from scratch it was to make it less like metroid and more like whatever the fuck this is.

I can't help but suspect that the Reddit soyboy is a concept that dates back about a decade. He reminds me of Wheatley from Portal 2 and that was thirteen years ago.

Jesus christ, 13 years already? Fuck I know i've been rotting but YEESH. Anyways he doesn't remind me of Wheatley. Wheatley was talkative yeah, but his commentary was specifically in line with the rest of the game's presentation of things. he also had the in-game lore reason of him being used to try and distract glados with his constant stupid fucking ideas and interjections so she doesn't gas everyone.

 

[Hemorrhoy Rogers]

Guy could have probably cut the video down to 10 minutes by removing his unhinged tangents and projection.

I'm working my way through Prime 2 on my Gamecube as I never got around to playing more than the first hour of the game for some reason. The ability to ignore the lore text for later like in Doom 2016 is nice. Game seems fine so far but I remember a friend talking about the limited ammo for light and dark weapons being a problem.

 

[The Evil Midnight Bomber]

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Why contain it? Let it spill into the classic games and series. Let the bad sequels and remakes pile up in the ET cartridge landfills. In the end, they'll beg us to make something good.

Nintendo is gonna burn like the brightest star!