Microsoft teams up with Axe for Xbox themed bodywash

[School of Fish]

It's nice to know that Microsoft cares about the hygiene of their neckbeard fanbase.

 

[Fools Idol]

People don't actually use Axe/Lynx right?

 

[_blank_]

Try the new Xbox Bodywash!

Experience true immersion so you too can smell like Master Chief, who has been stuck in his battle armor for decades! Or, maybe you'd prefer to smell like Marcus Fenix after wading through a pile of grub guts and ashen corpses!

Ladies, don't worry, we didn't forget you! Try the Joanna Dark bodywash - it combines the smells all ladies love: lavender, latex, and disappointment!

Pre-order are available now - if you upgrade to the Xbox Bodywash Deluxe Bodywash basket, we'll throw in a free can of Sea of Thieves Spray. Woo your partner with the familiar scent of vomit and dead fish.

 

[vertexwindi]

Should've been Nintendo, Smash players are the ones who need this the most.

 

[ZeCommissar]

Who still uses axe past the age of 16? That doesn't have autism??

 

[JM 590]

I love how all this kind of stuff just feeds into the cliches

Xbox body wash! Could it be from Dial? Irish Spring? Dove? Yardley of London, even?

Nope, of course it's Axe, what else could it be? It's Axe, it's never not going to be Axe. Game Fuel couldn't have been anything but Mountain Dew, and that one weird promo where they released Mountain Dew-flavored Doritos in some kind of Xbox promo just really brought it all home. It couldn't possibly be anything else. Doritos, Mountain Dew, and Axe. It will never be Lays, Coca-Cola, and Dove. Those just aren't brands for true gamers.

 

[Fuzhou]

Game Fuel couldn't have been anything but Mountain Dew

To be fair, OG Game Fuel didn't taste like Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew tastes exactly like piss.

 

[PL 001]

So you'll smell like Doritos dust, armpit b.o, Hot Pocket grease and dirty socks?

Yeah, this will be the new top contender...

 

[️ronic]

Did I just slip into a bizaro universe where where Onion articles are actually real news?

 

[JM 590]

Mountain Dew tastes exactly like piss.

I taste better than Mountain Dew, thank you very much.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

What’s next, a bodywash for hentai gamers that smells like sushi?

 

[The Lawgiver]

We're talking about actual cleansing products here, not just stinky ass bodyspray.
Hook me up with that green gamer soap juice ASAP.
Oh wait... Australia exclusive? Fuck you too then. I'll get my vaguely fruit scented soap elsewhere, without the goofy limited edition "gamer" branding.

 

[DragoonSierra]

I cant wait for my new Axe Box to spray me with body spray. Will videogames finally help me get girls now?

 

[Archeops]

Well there's something I wasn't expecting to be done in an unironic fashion, it probably for the best if it stays in Australia. I'll admit to using Axe during my high school years, but only because Snake Peel was one of the few exfoliating body washes that didn't cause my skin to freak out for some reason.

what are the odds that it will end up smelling like dew?

Seeing as how the product description mentions using kaffir lime and winter lemon as fragrances I wouldn't be surprised if it smelled of a citrusy drink like Mountain Dew.

 

[Sir Wesley Tailpipe]

WARNING: Not intended for washing your ass. May give you a Red Ring if used to clean your ass.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Should be a Sega team-up, make Golden Axe with a scent that transports the consumer to a magical fantasy world, the product is actually just a can of gold spray paint and a sock.