Lovequest Misc Colin Communications - Updated

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This is just pure gold. I love Chris' weird attitude to swearing - there's just something hilarious about a 32-year-old man who says "poo" when attempting to insult someone. Also, I know Chris gets attached to particular phrases, but someone needs to tell him that if you're trying to impress someone with your penis, you probably shouldn't refer to it as an "ugly growth."
 
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Anchuent Christory said:
It's what porn tells him, therefor it's reality as far as he's concerned.
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The funny thing (at least from my experience with lesbian pornography ) is that tribadism isn't even the most often used position in porn. It's difficult to shoot and a bit awkward if you're not really into the one you are doing it with (as I was told by a bi-sexual friend). But I assume that any other form of lesbian sex might be an unpleasant idea for Chris with all that body fluids and maybe he even realizes that he doesn't have too much down there to go down on except that damn near 7-incher and a holey taint. Nothing that a lesbian would go crazy about. Or maybe he believes that real Sex just means slamming bodyparts together and any other form of stimulation is useless.
I apologize for maybe putting some horrible pictures in your head.
 
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ChurchOfGodBear said:
"I'm not racist because I didn't use the N-Word!" Really calls back to "I wasn't bullied because no one ever shoved me in a locker!"

Even when it works to his benefit, Chris can't see beyond the narrowest and most comical definition of any word.
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Also funny because he has used the word Nigger plenty of times, maybe its another N-Word he's thinking of.
 
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Slush said:
The disturbing part is his claim he can do it "with help". Just who the hell would help him with something like that?

*shudder*
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I choose to believe he works it up there himself, which is only slightly less disturbing. For someone who's gone to such lengths to 'prove' they aren't attracted to men he sure seems willing to shove a dick up his arse
 
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Tragi-Chan said:
This is just pure gold. I love Chris' weird attitude to swearing - there's just something hilarious about a 32-year-old man who says "poo" when attempting to insult someone. Also, I know Chris gets attached to particular phrases, but someone needs to tell him that if you're trying to impress someone with your penis, you probably shouldn't refer to it as an "ugly growth."
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'Ugly Growth' is the new 'duck.' He's also really attached to the word 'lackadaisical.' It's actually normal for children to repeat words they recently learned (it's part of how we internalize language,) but it's not everyday you see a 32 year-old man force a new word in nearly all his communications. I think Chris is just really proud of having learned a big word on his favorite pony show.
 
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Transcriptions! I'm not the best at capturing speech patterns (I did academic transcription in another life) but I at least tried to get all the stutters and noted the pauses.
Hello, Colin. Yes, this is Christian Chadler. I am calling you. I am not s-not scared of you, you know, and I refuse to call you especially because you were being a bully to me. And I was being the mature one by not stooping down to your level.

[long pause]

Anyway, you certainly are quite the mischievous cad, and an ingrate. You are very... I forgot the word. Pretentious. And I can tell you are quite the phony, and the way you have treated me, I'm certain you're gonna end up blowing your cover by showing your true colours in front of Catherine and her father and her stepmother at the time you're there. I pray you get booted out, and you know what? You can drop dead. Goodbye.
Hello, Colin. This is Christian Chandler again. I see you're still alive. Anyway, I am calling you because I am trying to tell you I am not afraid of you, regardless of what time I called you earlier. And I do not wish to be bothered by you so much because... you are being a bully to me. You keep pestering and annoying me... And everything. Therefore, I'm choosing to ignore you there. And I still wish you would move on.

[long pause]

Anyway, I'm putting myself together to go out tonight for a little fun. So... Whatever. To you.

[not as long pause]

Have a g- fair day. [stress grunt]
 
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Alec Benson Leary said:
Why wouldn't he still be alive?
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I think it's an extension of Chris's "Curse" idea. He told Colin to drop dead, so it's a bit of a surprise that he did not actually die from that ill will itself.


@Bridechu , great job on the transcripts. I do think on the first call Chris actually calls Colin a mischievous cad, though.

Also I'd just like to say it's always refreshing to hear his voice. It's the perfect blend of awkwardness and self-absurdness. It just makes me happy our boy is alive.
 
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Pleasant conversation, and maybe even some tribadism after that. What kind of lesbian doesn't fall for such a well thought-out date plan?
 
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