Morbius

100% MORB

Seriously though, what is Jared Leto's deal? Is it autism?

Truly the man keeps the dream of the 2000s alive, "Damaged" indeed.
 
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I'm starting to think that it isn't actually Morbin' time at all...
Not till morbius begins to morb and announces it by saying it's morbin time. It's not morbin time unless that happens. People using "morb" as a filler word like it's the smurfs neglect the true meaning of morbing.

Something this movie does that's ridiculous and funny but kinda cool in concept somewhat I didn't mention yet is the weird windy thing morbius does and how it's represented by shit going all trippy and stretchy. It's the movie's explanation of how morbius can fly though it makes no fucking sense how artificial blood made from bat samples gives you that power. I'd say it's some latent secret superhuman gene that got activated or whatever in morbius specifically but his friend that steals the shit and gives himself the science vampirism also can do the windy thing. During the segment he learns of having the shit he almost gets blown off a building to his death while running from the authorities, and later he fucking catches the wind vortex created by the train going through the subway system during another action scene. There was actual thought put into how those scenes operate and it's just so fucking surreal to me. Why the fuck does morbius have wind powers and why did they put genuine thought into how they operate but not how he got them?
 
Leto is a higher-functioning Wiseau on a big-budget scale. He literally charges people thousands of dollars a ticket to be part of his cult of idiot worship with his extremely stupid Camp Mars events. Wiseau is a two-bit con artist who larps as an actor while Leto is a two-bit meth head actor who larps as the next step in human evolution. He is guaranteed to be the worst thing in every movie he's in and sometimes like Morb he's so bad he's funny and the rest of the movie isn't strong enough to save itself critically like Blade Runner 2049 could.

I say let Morbin' time morph his career into a bubbling gurgling pool of laughable memes. He has so much potential as a lolcow I believe he richly deserves his own thread around here. Hopefully sooner than later!
 
I find it absolutely hilarious that no one saw the movie in theaters, people memed the hell out of it because no one saw it, Sony saw the memes and thought it meant people would go see it, rereleased it in theaters…and no one saw it again.
 
Trying to make memes into a thing kind of reminds me of Snakes on A Plane

Yeah, this is a lot like that. Both movies are generic studio products that got the internet's attention for seeming terrible in a way that might be humorous. SoaP was going to be titled something bland like "Flight 202" but Sam Jackson said in an interview that he wouldn't do the movie if it wasn't called Snakes on a Plane. The buzz around the internet convinced the studio to reshoot some stuff like the "Motherfucking Snakes" line for Jackson. I had some friends who I would watch bad DVD rentals with, we all decided to go see SoaP and the theater was nearly empty. We all got rowdy when the movie started and started riffing it, and the guy sitting a row in front of us got irritated and told us to be quiet. He was legitimately interested in the movie and didn't like how we weren't taking it seriously.

Sony marketed Morbius as a "Sony-verse" movie that was connected to the Spider-Man MCU movies, which was nearly false advertising. The post credits scenes had Vulture plucked from the alternate universe where MCU shit takes place and name drop Spider-Man in an awkward "team up" moment with Morbs. Before that, it's just a typical 2000's era comic book movie. Part of why this movie is chosen to be memed, and not other Marvel movies, is that audiences knew it was going to be underwhelming. Leto's reputation is in the toilet after his failure to play the Joker effectively, so he needed to fire on all cylinders as Morbius which he clearly did not. That's a big reason why it's so funny to make jokes about enjoying Morbius: the idea that someone not only liked the movie, but loved it, is absurd.
 
I find it absolutely hilarious that no one saw the movie in theaters, people memed the hell out of it because no one saw it, Sony saw the memes and thought it meant people would go see it, rereleased it in theaters…and no one saw it again.
I mean... I DID see it... Just not in theatres because it was one of those movies also available for free on some streaming service a friend had and we just watched it together lmao.
Sony marketed Morbius as a "Sony-verse" movie that was connected to the Spider-Man MCU movies, which was nearly false advertising. The post credits scenes had Vulture plucked from the alternate universe where MCU shit takes place and name drop Spider-Man in an awkward "team up" moment with Morbs. Before that, it's just a typical 2000's era comic book movie. Part of why this movie is chosen to be memed, and not other Marvel movies, is that audiences knew it was going to be underwhelming. Leto's reputation is in the toilet after his failure to play the Joker effectively, so he needed to fire on all cylinders as Morbius which he clearly did not. That's a big reason why it's so funny to make jokes about enjoying Morbius: the idea that someone not only liked the movie, but loved it, is absurd.
Every single fucking post lately where people make morbius jokes is paired with fucking explanations like this. If I was morbius I'd start beginning to do the morbius thing in responseto seeing that fucking shit. It's literally just an unintentionally funny movie thats a shit adaptation of it's source material I don't give a fuck if people enjoy it considering there's a far worse vampire related movie series out there that had genuinely rabid unironic fans. A lot of those guys are also probably some of the people that unironically shit on morbius. they should chill and have sex, ekse. off the meds ooh vula vala vala va.
 
The only cinematic universe Morbius would fit into is a time-traveling Van Helsingverse electric boogaloo. I'm begging whoever it is that is raping Jared in exchange for a career to stop casting him.
 

Morbius only made $85,000 on the first day of its rerelease, and a total of $280,000 in the whole weekend. lmao
 

Morbius only made $85,000 on the first day of its rerelease, and a total of $280,000 in the whole weekend. lmao
Cinematic version of "Theyre laughing at you, not with you"
 
Morbius only made $85,000 on the first day of its rerelease, and a total of $280,000 in the whole weekend. lmao
Man, if they really wanted a shitshow they could have done a buy 1 get 1 free deal with Venom 2 as a double feature.
 
I think part of what sticks out about this movie is it's sincerity and serious tone, it feels like it fell out of a time warp from the year 2005, post MCU most comic book movies don't take as sincere an approach unless it's done by Zack Snyder, but Morbius still feels distinctly out of lockstep with modern culture.

The comparisons to Snakes on a Plane are very apt, I haven't seen the internet react to a studio movie like this since Snakes on a Plane and history is also repeating itself with the movie making no money despite the memes, which is hilarious.
 
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