Yeah, got two kids in college, two in high school. The ones in college pulled the oh I am strong and independent now and I was like ok. Then a couple weeks later I'm getting several texts and emails a day. I know how this goes.
I noticed one of my relative's kids got into a vicious cycle of not pooping for days at a time because it hurt to go...because it would be days between going poop. I can't tell you how to break the cycle, but it is something to think about.
I used to be bad about holding it in because I was so engrossed in whatever it was I was doing, leading to several accidents. My parents started having me go before beginning one of these activities; it seemed to help and make it a habit.
To be fair, those things are the devil. I got around this by holding my nose and swallowing to "clog" my ears before flushing, then swallowing again to clear them. Maybe this could work for your child? Plus it would help with ears being clogged on airplane rides.
Yogurt and a banana a day can help a kid be more ‘regular’, but too much banana will block them up. If the child can drink milk it works as an excellent laxative if you just add an extra cup alongside their dinner or any major meal.
If you don’t have a pelvic floor pt, get one. Most insurances cover them and they can be incredibly helpful. I found the transition between cat and cow yoga poses to be very helpful, as well as sitting on a yoga ball. Doing hip/thigh stretches worked really well for me too. A daily walk is really good for you too, especially great for maintaining mobility later in the pregnancy if you can. Check with your OB first but I really liked sitting with a hot pad on my lower back.
Get one of them cooling gel donuts to sit on.
If you can access an osteopath I'd recommend seeing one. I don't know what their regulations are like where you are but they're extremely well-trained and regulated in the UK. My local osteopath is also qualified to treat babies, so I took my first newborn for a check-up, not because she particularly needed it, but because it was nice to share with the osteopath who had seen me throughout the pregnancy.
The bands work well. Nothing helps the core issue other than having the baby and a bit of time after. Just try to keep active but not overdo it.
You can usually find mom groups on Facebook in your area, otherwise daycares or churches (if that’s your thing) usually have something in orbit.
My 2 yr old is in the 90th percentile. She recently played with two 3 year olds who were in the 13th percentile. It was really funny to me how the 3 year olds could form relatively complex sentences while this giant next to them spoke with a limited vocabulary.
There's a local a coffee shop near me that has an outdoor play area for kids where parents and moms flock every day. I've met some acquaintances there and parents always seem enthusiastic about chatting and letting our kids play together. I also take my toddler to a music class designed for 0-3 year olds. I haven't made friends there, but it's good engagement for both of us.
Well, I tried local mum Facebook groups and they were all insane battlegrounds where insane women vied for power whilst pushing MLMs and insane parenting strategies.
Same. Well I lurked the local moms FB (still do) but I could smell the BPD wafting from it. I never engaged with all the “meets” or “really need some mom friends” but enjoy watching the heavily moderated, toxic empathy from afar. (I have no doubt there are many similar women to me silently in the group it’s the 10% that post constantly that provide the entertainment.)
Your neighborhood and people you live near, unless you hate or feel stuck living in a bad place. If you don’t live in a walk friendly area, drive to the nearest one you do like and start walking with the babies. Do it on a regular schedule, after two weeks and you will meet all the other moms with babies. (You have to become a familiar face though before the introductions become easy and natural.) But just getting outside regularly, on a fixed schedule, is good for your brain.
This is applicable in non-mom environments. People detect desperation and respond negatively to it. Either because you're overbearing and require too much emotional bandwidth that they aren't willing or able to spare, or they think you have ulterior motives. Or both.
Very true, but it’s bears exceptional stress in mom groups. There are some really unhinged moms out there and at the same time many sane moms can feel isolated and lonely for a few years while dealing with infant or toddlers, so become more inclined to take what they can get when it comes to friends.
I don’t think any of this makes you a bad parent at all, kids can just be terrible when they are learning attitude, boundaries, and where parents (or elders in general) stand in their social hierarchy.