Jersh said he wants to capture old /k/ or something close to that. It doesn't matter. I took it as free reign to milsperg, so today I'm going to tell you all about one of the most important generals you've never heard of. Brig. Gen. Walter McIllhenny.
Born in D.C. in 1910, Mac came from a prosperous Louisiana business family. Though he would spend his early life in the Virginia area, he quickly showed great business acumen and became scion of the family business, being trained to one day take over. At age 21, he would take a commission in the Virginia National Guard. He quickly showed a penchant for marksmanship, and would join it's rifle team. In 1935, after a string of defeats to Red Mike Edson's team, Mac would decide if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and transferred to the Marine Reserve. It seems it was his team holding him back, as Mac would quickly make his way to captain of the USMCR Team. His other passion was cooking, but there wasn't a miltary chef team.
His life as business man would be put on hold at the outbreak of WWII. Assigned to B Company, 1/5, and becoming XO, Mac would be sent to Guadalcanal. There he received a Purple Heart, Silver Star, and Navy Cross. The Navy Cross would come for holding off the Japanese as he lead a rescue party to gather the wounded. First Lt. Mac, with only a rifle and radio, would take position alone and eliminate a Jap machine gun before directing fires to cover his men. Not 3 months later, he would receive the Silver Star while leading a recon patrol. When on return his patrol was pinned under enemy fire, and both runners wounded, Mac would brave the enemy fire despite his own wounds to return to Battalion HQ. There, he rallied B Company and returned to relieve the patrol by crashing into the Japanese flank and taking their position. The Purple Heart? He took a katana to the fuckin' head, gaining a head wound, a dented helmet, and a new sword when it was over.
Glorious Nippon steel jokes aside, like shit. Katanas aren't that solid or heavy. And homie managed to dent a fucking steel helmet with one. You can see both at the National WWII Museum in New Orleans. All in all in, Mac would spend 31 months in the PTO, further see action at New Britain and Pelieu, and pick up another purple heart. He would retire in '49 with the rank of Brigadier to finally take over the company business.
That business? The McIllhenny Company, makers of Tabasco. Walt was known as Tobasco Mac for a reason. Less than a year into his tenure as president, Korea would break out. He quickly started mailing bottles of Tobasco to front line troops. Between wars, he would continue to hone his marksmanship and rise in the ranks of the NRA, along side old foe and now fellow Marine general and marksman Edson, as well as his love of cooking. By the time Vietnam rolled around, Mac was done playing around. He commissioned a cook book,
The Charlie Ration Cookbook Or No Food is Too Good For The Man Up Front. Illustrations were provided by Fred Rhoads, another WWII Marine who had contributed as an illustrator to Beetle Baily, Sad Sack, and his own work for Leatherneck magazine. It was written in the simple, self deprecating and pessimistic style of grunts.
Each book came shipped in a waterproof case with an attached bottle of Tabasco. Within months, letters began flooding home asking for more bottles of the hot sauce. Like the Marines and their KaBars, the American infantryman and Tobasco sauce were now joined at the hip. In the late seventies discussions would begin on the new rations for the DoD, presumably with the Marines making a strong stand on which particular sauce should be included. In 1980, the Army would adopt the Meal, Ready to Eat. And every single one, for over forty years, would include a small bottle of Gen. Walt McIllhenny's hot sauce. So give a cheer to one of our greats heros, Tobasco Mac, who more than anything he did on the battlefield, ensured our grunts would always have something to make their rations edible, or at least trade for a couple smokes.
