Music So Bad It's Awesome


Big, dumb, stupid sludge metal with maybe four chords max in the entire product, brought to you by some Eddie Vedder wannabe. Also, the album cover has a giant wang on it. There's so much testosterone in the end product I'm prematurely balding.
 
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I can't be fucked to post the YouTube links cause I'm at work, but here's three songs that are held to be "not masculine" that I can't help but love,

Kylie Minogue "can't get you outta my head"

Ricky martins "la vida loca"

Spice Girls "spice up your life"

And that's just the tip of the iceberg
 
Let me introduce you to a band called Babaluga. They were a short lived Italo-disco group (although only the girl was Italian, the other two were German and Moroccan). They were formed solely as a marketing gimmick for a line of children's clothing, and they broke up after five months to go back to school.

babaluga_sasch-mode1_400.jpg


If you think they look bad, wait until you hear their only hit (and 50% of their discography), "My Paradise"


It's so bad, so awful, so cheesy and dorky, so dated...

...that it actually becomes kind of touching.

Think about it: This was supposed to be a defiant, youthful, party kind of song. But between the synths that sound like an Italo disco funeral dirge, the downbeat monotone of the singer, and the fact that they dressed like the Brady kids after they ran away and joined the circus make it sound more like the wistful fantasy of a 13-year-old bullying victim who probably has autism.

Plus, aside from Garden of Delete by Oneohtrix Point Never (which is a great album btw), it's probably one of the few songs that accurately capture what it's like being a teenager, i.e. a seething, hormonal mass of social awkwardness and confusion.
 
Lots. To begin with, "Give Your Dick To Me" by Barbara Markay:


Then there's The Most Wanted Song and Most Unwanted Song, both of which are giftedly bad in their own way:


Pound On My Muffin by Shira ft. Asco. I can't watch more than a minute of this without cringing:


Vegan piss-stain and his Stockholm syndrome parents. Check out his face after his lines:


And finally, a song about cum. No, really. That's its name:


EDIT: Sorry, but I just have to insert a couple more onto this. Firstly, I'd Rather Jack. This Stock Aitken and Waterman number was basically them getting salty that their stuff was being trashed by critics:


And secondly, DEVASTATIN' DAVE THE TURNTABLE SLAVE:

 
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Van Morrison once ended up in a contract dispute with Bang Records and to close out his contract wrote a completely shitty improvised album with 31 songs as a parting fuck you to the label.


This is one of them. The others are about the same.
 
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