Citation Checking Project
Independent Journalist with a 10 year legacy
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2018
Hi everyone,
As the sole person responsible for the "Citation Checking Project" persona,
I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to
Liberal Sanity Project,
Caleb Cain,
Xanderhal,
Vaush,
Vivian Wulf,
HammableOfCarthage,
PeachColaSpooky,
and all those my actions have hurt.
While only the victims are in a position to describe the full impact of my actions,
I will nonetheless give my incomplete understanding of them now.
I performed doxing, privacy invasion, public degradation, mocking and shaming, bad faith interaction, violation of trust and boundaries,
and produced insensitive and hateful public comments.
Such actions can induce anger, fear, frustration, and a sense of violation and isolation in victims.
They can also induce others to emulate the behavior, which results in more pain and suffering.
While I have never broken any law,
I have decided this is not who I want to be as a person
and I deeply regret it.
I want to touch upon the fact that I have, unknowingly at first and for long, been in pain as well.
I was raised as a man in a society where toxic masculinity is prevalent,
yet I was abused by my peers for not living up to its standards.
Out of shame I tried and failed to correct my behavior and
repress how I truly felt,
hoping that this would bring me fulfillment.
Of course it didn't work out and left me with resentment.
Unable to recognize and deal with this resentment,
I related to increasingly far right influencers
until I joined KF, with the idea that I could finally be free and true to myself in this community.
While there are kiwis I met who are consistent in their intellectual rigor
and/or just want to have fun with meaningless gossip,
a significant number of users — including myself —
engage in behavior that harms themselves and other people who are often not unlike them.
It took me a depressingly long time to find and process this insight,
but now I can't go back.
Of course none of this is to excuse anything I did.
The terrifying fact that
one can be both at the receiving end of abuse and perpetrate it
is simply a piece of the puzzle for me to understand what happened.
I wrote this down to help myself find closure and move forward.
I decided to put it on the forum to forever ruin my pseudonymous legacy.
I am not what my past actions suggest I am.
Some people here have an interest in my silence,
so I had to make sure I would break it.
Truthfully,
former wannabe Internet supervillain,
Arthur
P.S. If you're in a similar spot that I was in, you can e-mail me at theccproject at protonmail dot com
As the sole person responsible for the "Citation Checking Project" persona,
I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to
Liberal Sanity Project,
Caleb Cain,
Xanderhal,
Vaush,
Vivian Wulf,
HammableOfCarthage,
PeachColaSpooky,
and all those my actions have hurt.
While only the victims are in a position to describe the full impact of my actions,
I will nonetheless give my incomplete understanding of them now.
I performed doxing, privacy invasion, public degradation, mocking and shaming, bad faith interaction, violation of trust and boundaries,
and produced insensitive and hateful public comments.
Such actions can induce anger, fear, frustration, and a sense of violation and isolation in victims.
They can also induce others to emulate the behavior, which results in more pain and suffering.
While I have never broken any law,
I have decided this is not who I want to be as a person
and I deeply regret it.
I want to touch upon the fact that I have, unknowingly at first and for long, been in pain as well.
I was raised as a man in a society where toxic masculinity is prevalent,
yet I was abused by my peers for not living up to its standards.
Out of shame I tried and failed to correct my behavior and
repress how I truly felt,
hoping that this would bring me fulfillment.
Of course it didn't work out and left me with resentment.
Unable to recognize and deal with this resentment,
I related to increasingly far right influencers
until I joined KF, with the idea that I could finally be free and true to myself in this community.
While there are kiwis I met who are consistent in their intellectual rigor
and/or just want to have fun with meaningless gossip,
a significant number of users — including myself —
engage in behavior that harms themselves and other people who are often not unlike them.
It took me a depressingly long time to find and process this insight,
but now I can't go back.
Of course none of this is to excuse anything I did.
The terrifying fact that
one can be both at the receiving end of abuse and perpetrate it
is simply a piece of the puzzle for me to understand what happened.
I wrote this down to help myself find closure and move forward.
I decided to put it on the forum to forever ruin my pseudonymous legacy.
I am not what my past actions suggest I am.
Some people here have an interest in my silence,
so I had to make sure I would break it.
Truthfully,
former wannabe Internet supervillain,
Arthur
P.S. If you're in a similar spot that I was in, you can e-mail me at theccproject at protonmail dot com
