my cats tail went in my mouth - i was sleeping and my cats tail went in my mouth

[Cats]

i woke up from a sleep and yawned and my cat was laying next to me, it wagged its tail and the cats tail went in my mouth

 

[DankSmoker]

Sleeping mouth agape is just asking for molestation.

 

[Gutpuke]

Did you survive?

 

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

jfc I hope your tail lifts it's tail when it's using the litter box

 

[Beak Thing]

You are the Chosen One.

 

[misterduckford]

Your cat has given you the power. As some others have mentioned, you are the Chosen One.

 

[Absurdity]

Your cat could be a CIA controlled asset. Turn off the lights to see if it glows. If it glows, start feeding it false information. If it doesn't glow, it's gay and just gave you Cat AIDS ("tail" in Latin is "penus").

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Just a periodic check to make sure something larger than him isn't tempted to eat him. You passed. (Well, I assume.)

 

[Testacles Maximus]

You have cancer.

 

[TheRetardKing]

*crunch*

 

[Cats]

my cat batters me in the face with its tail every single night of my life and I scream, cat attack, cat attack

 

[misterduckford]

my cat batters me in the face with its tail every single night of my life and I scream, cat attack, cat attack

That's the most reasonable recourse, given the circumstances, @Cats. I'd be frankly concerned if you moderated your response. Also kitty.

 

[Pissmaster]

I've awoken to my cat's foot being in my face because he's all stretched out next to me

 

[Cats]

this has happened again

 

[Toolbox]

this has happened again

I'm sory cat's but you will be deceased within 40-60 years (

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

You are the Chosen One.

I still agree with my previous assessment.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Bob likes to shove his head in your mouth when you yawn.

 

[Cats]

Humans have two hundred and six bones in their bodies.

Cats have as many as two hundred and fifty bones in their bodies.

 

[Yttrium]

A few years ago, I was waking up early in the morning to a first day at a new job and I'm not much of a morning person. Lights off and the blinds still closed, so it's completely dark in the bedroom. My cat usually wakes up with me to see me off, so this time he climbs up on my chest just as I'm coming to and ask he sniffs my face, he pulls back and then sneezes directly into my mouth.
I like there stunned for a moment, processing what just happened, as the kitty realizes what he's done and runs to hide in shame (he's a skiddish boi), but I can't be mad at him. Sh*t happens, but it's funny to think back on years later. Of course, the next several minutes are spent me in the bathroom with a toothbrush and mouthwash before reporting for my first shift with the new employer.
Still makes me chuckle.