José Mourinho
The Special One
Forum Staff
Retired Staff
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
My ex-girlfriend is nothing more than your typical, everyday, run-of-the-mill internet attention whore who's known for uploading multiple pics of herself to various websites in a valiant, yet sad and always failed attempt to get other humans to actually like her.
Despite how hard she undoubtedly tries, it seems as if no one ever has (or ever will for that matter). She chooses to numb the pain with various horrible smelling pets and a life full of actively scanning r9k for contact threads containing weak betafaggots whom she may have a small chance of enticing with her visually appalling duckface.
Those who manage to survive such a sight without succumbing to the urge to instantly empty the entire contents of their stomach and/or gouge their own eyes out in an attempt to stop themselves from witnessing such a horrible sight are rewarded with the the slightest of a chance to prove that they are indeed worthy of competing for her whimsical attention.
1. My Experience With That Duckface
I saw my ex-girlfriend at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.
She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
2. The Hardcore Kid
Sometime after Asalieri attempted to start e-drama with TGWTG over Spoony leaving. A YouTube user by the name of "The Hardcore Kid" added Asalieri to his top list of "Smegged up YouTubers," sharing the epic spot of number 7 with JFreedan. Of course, soon after, Asalieri posted a video in which he, again, proceeded to insult everyone involved with the list, even the ones of whom had nothing to say about him. In Hardcore Kid's video, he proceeded to copy and paste content from Asalieri's ED article into notepad, and then proceeded to give it to the two other people who were going to discuss Asalieri with him. While the video was bashed by those who knew about the ED article and Asalieri's fans of course. People from other sites thought it was well put out, and all was fine for...less than a week.
Asalieri's response was, to put it simply, just him pretending all the nonsense he had spewed to his fans was not as bad as people were making it or was non-existent, going as far as to "pretend" him getting rejected from Reviewtopia didn't matter when he made his butthurt video about them in the first place. When his AVGN movie bullshit video was brought up, he continued to support it, even though he had still not shown any evidence of what he was saying was true at the time. The response video also shows that Asalieri is also incapable of pressing the pause button, as shown when a key piece of information was displayed in Hardcore Kid's video of Asalieri's fans raging at a video because Asalieri was not #1 in a top ten video. Most of the video is Asalieri doing what he does best: Throwing out ad-homonym attacks in all directions, going as far as to make fun of not just how Hardcore Kid looked, but essentially spending the first few minutes just criticizing everyone's looks and some for how they talked, even though he looks almost exactly like RazorFist, if he would cut his hair once in awhile and was actually Asalieri's size. When there was actual proof against him, you can tell Asa has no defense for it by placing a "joke/wit counter" on the screen during those moments, expecting comedy during a serious moment of explanation.
So some of you may be asking: "Where are these videos mentioned?" Well it turns out that not only is Hardcore Kid extremely lazy in doing his research, but he is also a massive coward. Shortly after Asalieri's videos were made. The two other people who talked with Hardcore Kid about Asalieri in Hardcore Kid's video came out with an apology video each. In both, they claim they were pretty much given a script from Hardcore Kid, and was told to read because they were "pressured on time." Pretty much showing they had no clue about what they were talking about, and just went along bashing someone they knew barely anything about. You would think Asalieri would point this out, but Asalieri ignored it like he does with everything else, because they both had already started sucking Asalieri's e-peen and he didn't want his good name tarnished. Hardcore Kid on the other hand, went into a Skype conversation with Asalieri and Templar Gamer (because Asalieri can't have an internet debate by himself anymore). In the apology video made by Hardcore Kid, he pretty much says that he still stood by what he said in the video. However when he was brought into the Skype conversation, in typical Asalieri fashion, he played off his mean spirited nature, and put on a big smile for Hardcore Kid. What was the goal of Asalieri? Well, all was made clear when Hardcore Kid said that Asalieri asked him to take his video down, and in exchange would take his own down. (Mission Accomplished!) So even though Hardcore Kid still stood by what he said he still took his video down because "He didn't want all the drama on his page." Indeed, he didn't want drama on his page with a small amount of subscribers, and he didn't want drama on his page even though he made it very clear he knew how Asalieri's fanbase was. Here you go ladies and gentlemen, the biggest coward to grace YouTube.
So everyone won correct? Well not exactly. See, on Hardcore Kid's apology video, one of Asalieri's fanboys came in to say that Hardcore Kid was fine and respectable, but the others in his video were meanies. Hardcore Kid then proceeded to say that they were rude and harsh. That's right. Hardcore Kid said the people who were reading his script, were mean and rude with what they said, basically throwing them under the bus. However with the other two apology videos, Asalieri's fanboys claimed that Hardcore Kid was the asshole. While this was going on no attention was being brought to why Asalieri was still an asshole. Not only this, but Hardcore Kid remade the top 10 video and removed Asalieri's part, but left the spot Asalieri was sharing with, Jfreedan, in, and removed A-Log (who absolutely did nothing wrong btw) from the part entirely, thus making Asalieri look like a hero in the end, and resulting in a lose-lose for Hardcore Kid, while Asalieri walked off laughing hysterically.
3. Lying Theifing Whore
I just got a call from a friend saying that Tiff is now accusing me of stealing stuff from her bag while it was in the Green Room at North District high school. I'm sorry but I don't want anything of hers, and if I DID take something, I would have taken the bag since it has a Prada label right on it. I am not a thief though, so I don't take something that doesn't belong to me. I wouldn't be setting much of an example if I did! (We all know she reads this afterall...)
However on top of that, there were a dozen or more people that can attest that nobody in the greenroom touched her bag. Even further, the only time somebody COULD have touched it was when they had us all out in the hallway when awards were being announced. I was there with the rest of the girls in my class at that point. That being the case, how the hell could I have taken anything? And even further, why didn't she report this supposed theft to Con Ops if it actually DID take place? Nobody was touching her bag the entire time somebody was in the room. My husband was on volunteer staff and was in there when the awards were being announced and saw nobody anywhere even near her seat, let alone her bag. So when did this supposed "theft" take place exactly? Cause as far as I can tell there was nobody there who could have done it and no time frame for it to have happened o_0;
I find it funny that when I was completely sweet to her in the GreenRoom (since I am not mean to anybody that I don't know well unless they have deliberately wronged me or somebody I care about), she wouldn't have dared think of me as a thief. But when she found out that I was a cosfu member, suddenly I am a suspect. What the hell. Just because I post here doesn't mean I am a goddamn thief.
Message to you you stupid bitch. I rarely post on this thread or any of the other ones that you have had here. I honesty had no problems with you until you started claiming about people always doing shit to you. I knew full well what people have said but I TRY to give the benefit of the doubt. YOU brought up the drama in the greenroom first. And that is why I even spoke up here. I am not a goddamn thief though, and neither was anybody else in that greenroom. Get your attention somewhere else.
4. Conclusion
DUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEFUCKFACE
In conclusion, duckface.
Despite how hard she undoubtedly tries, it seems as if no one ever has (or ever will for that matter). She chooses to numb the pain with various horrible smelling pets and a life full of actively scanning r9k for contact threads containing weak betafaggots whom she may have a small chance of enticing with her visually appalling duckface.
Those who manage to survive such a sight without succumbing to the urge to instantly empty the entire contents of their stomach and/or gouge their own eyes out in an attempt to stop themselves from witnessing such a horrible sight are rewarded with the the slightest of a chance to prove that they are indeed worthy of competing for her whimsical attention.
1. My Experience With That Duckface
I saw my ex-girlfriend at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.
She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
2. The Hardcore Kid
Sometime after Asalieri attempted to start e-drama with TGWTG over Spoony leaving. A YouTube user by the name of "The Hardcore Kid" added Asalieri to his top list of "Smegged up YouTubers," sharing the epic spot of number 7 with JFreedan. Of course, soon after, Asalieri posted a video in which he, again, proceeded to insult everyone involved with the list, even the ones of whom had nothing to say about him. In Hardcore Kid's video, he proceeded to copy and paste content from Asalieri's ED article into notepad, and then proceeded to give it to the two other people who were going to discuss Asalieri with him. While the video was bashed by those who knew about the ED article and Asalieri's fans of course. People from other sites thought it was well put out, and all was fine for...less than a week.
Asalieri's response was, to put it simply, just him pretending all the nonsense he had spewed to his fans was not as bad as people were making it or was non-existent, going as far as to "pretend" him getting rejected from Reviewtopia didn't matter when he made his butthurt video about them in the first place. When his AVGN movie bullshit video was brought up, he continued to support it, even though he had still not shown any evidence of what he was saying was true at the time. The response video also shows that Asalieri is also incapable of pressing the pause button, as shown when a key piece of information was displayed in Hardcore Kid's video of Asalieri's fans raging at a video because Asalieri was not #1 in a top ten video. Most of the video is Asalieri doing what he does best: Throwing out ad-homonym attacks in all directions, going as far as to make fun of not just how Hardcore Kid looked, but essentially spending the first few minutes just criticizing everyone's looks and some for how they talked, even though he looks almost exactly like RazorFist, if he would cut his hair once in awhile and was actually Asalieri's size. When there was actual proof against him, you can tell Asa has no defense for it by placing a "joke/wit counter" on the screen during those moments, expecting comedy during a serious moment of explanation.
So some of you may be asking: "Where are these videos mentioned?" Well it turns out that not only is Hardcore Kid extremely lazy in doing his research, but he is also a massive coward. Shortly after Asalieri's videos were made. The two other people who talked with Hardcore Kid about Asalieri in Hardcore Kid's video came out with an apology video each. In both, they claim they were pretty much given a script from Hardcore Kid, and was told to read because they were "pressured on time." Pretty much showing they had no clue about what they were talking about, and just went along bashing someone they knew barely anything about. You would think Asalieri would point this out, but Asalieri ignored it like he does with everything else, because they both had already started sucking Asalieri's e-peen and he didn't want his good name tarnished. Hardcore Kid on the other hand, went into a Skype conversation with Asalieri and Templar Gamer (because Asalieri can't have an internet debate by himself anymore). In the apology video made by Hardcore Kid, he pretty much says that he still stood by what he said in the video. However when he was brought into the Skype conversation, in typical Asalieri fashion, he played off his mean spirited nature, and put on a big smile for Hardcore Kid. What was the goal of Asalieri? Well, all was made clear when Hardcore Kid said that Asalieri asked him to take his video down, and in exchange would take his own down. (Mission Accomplished!) So even though Hardcore Kid still stood by what he said he still took his video down because "He didn't want all the drama on his page." Indeed, he didn't want drama on his page with a small amount of subscribers, and he didn't want drama on his page even though he made it very clear he knew how Asalieri's fanbase was. Here you go ladies and gentlemen, the biggest coward to grace YouTube.
So everyone won correct? Well not exactly. See, on Hardcore Kid's apology video, one of Asalieri's fanboys came in to say that Hardcore Kid was fine and respectable, but the others in his video were meanies. Hardcore Kid then proceeded to say that they were rude and harsh. That's right. Hardcore Kid said the people who were reading his script, were mean and rude with what they said, basically throwing them under the bus. However with the other two apology videos, Asalieri's fanboys claimed that Hardcore Kid was the asshole. While this was going on no attention was being brought to why Asalieri was still an asshole. Not only this, but Hardcore Kid remade the top 10 video and removed Asalieri's part, but left the spot Asalieri was sharing with, Jfreedan, in, and removed A-Log (who absolutely did nothing wrong btw) from the part entirely, thus making Asalieri look like a hero in the end, and resulting in a lose-lose for Hardcore Kid, while Asalieri walked off laughing hysterically.
3. Lying Theifing Whore
I just got a call from a friend saying that Tiff is now accusing me of stealing stuff from her bag while it was in the Green Room at North District high school. I'm sorry but I don't want anything of hers, and if I DID take something, I would have taken the bag since it has a Prada label right on it. I am not a thief though, so I don't take something that doesn't belong to me. I wouldn't be setting much of an example if I did! (We all know she reads this afterall...)
However on top of that, there were a dozen or more people that can attest that nobody in the greenroom touched her bag. Even further, the only time somebody COULD have touched it was when they had us all out in the hallway when awards were being announced. I was there with the rest of the girls in my class at that point. That being the case, how the hell could I have taken anything? And even further, why didn't she report this supposed theft to Con Ops if it actually DID take place? Nobody was touching her bag the entire time somebody was in the room. My husband was on volunteer staff and was in there when the awards were being announced and saw nobody anywhere even near her seat, let alone her bag. So when did this supposed "theft" take place exactly? Cause as far as I can tell there was nobody there who could have done it and no time frame for it to have happened o_0;
I find it funny that when I was completely sweet to her in the GreenRoom (since I am not mean to anybody that I don't know well unless they have deliberately wronged me or somebody I care about), she wouldn't have dared think of me as a thief. But when she found out that I was a cosfu member, suddenly I am a suspect. What the hell. Just because I post here doesn't mean I am a goddamn thief.
Message to you you stupid bitch. I rarely post on this thread or any of the other ones that you have had here. I honesty had no problems with you until you started claiming about people always doing shit to you. I knew full well what people have said but I TRY to give the benefit of the doubt. YOU brought up the drama in the greenroom first. And that is why I even spoke up here. I am not a goddamn thief though, and neither was anybody else in that greenroom. Get your attention somewhere else.
4. Conclusion
DUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEFUCKFACE
In conclusion, duckface.
