Careercow Narcissa Wright / Cosmo Wright - Former speedrunner tumbling down

[The Fatriarchy]

When did this turn into a Cosmo dicksucking thread

 

[HeadbuttEnthusiast]

So how long until someone uses "arbitrary code execution" to complete the game in 30 seconds? I dunno call me a cynic but this seems like a very, very niche "comeback".

30 seconds? Try 1.6 https://youtu.be/C2WdkMH9B54?t=2216

This strat will almost certainly be disallowed as it requires playing on another file as part of the setup, although strats of that nature have been allowed on other games like Banjo Kazooie where it lets you start the game with all moves already learned.

 

[Shugo]

Are... they a prophet for speedrunning or something

No, it is not prophetic to realize that the dumb rules autists make up to speed through games are arbitrarily decided. This is very far from the first time a new strategy or method of speedrunning has been controversial or banned by the "speedrunning community."

 

[neurotypical]

He is not on-screen, so it could be somebody else. I'm guessing he finally let go, and somebody (probably a police officer) got access to his computer and started posting shit.

 

[Bender]

He is not on-screen, so it could be somebody else. I'm guessing he finally let go, and somebody (probably a police officer) got access to his computer and started posting shit.

Cops are sent to Narcissa's house to conduct a welfare check, one officer gets distracted by OoT until his superior tells him to hurry up and he's like "fuck, I need to finish this game quickly before I get another earful" and gets a WR? I can get behind that story as canon.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

View attachment 1135922
Uh oh... This just popped up. What could this mean for our intrepid hero(ine)?

Those fucks. If I had a legal department I'd tell them to serve the living shit out speedrun.com's Agent for Process of Service. Drop all other business, including trying to keep me out of prison for my many heinous crimes and getting Schuchardt Industries indicted for genocide and just bombard speedrun.com with letters accusing them of libel, transphobia, triggering of vulnerable adults, killing Jesus, voting for Hilary Clinton and being the sort of people who wouldn't stop to let ducklings cross the road.

Sadly, however, or perhaps luckily, I do not have a legal department.

 

[YayLasagna]

Unless they're spliced the runs are legit in my eyes. The amount of prep required for someone that's heavy RNG and the precision, even if you do need a notch, is enough for me to think it should be valid.

You're a winner in my eyes honey!

I mean it's really not anything to brag about to any random person but it matters to me dammit!

 

[Bender]

I'm expecting this to be split into any% (requires defeating Ganondorf), and ACE% (hack your way to the credits), with controller modifications being disallowed. I wouldn't be surprised if ACE% requires controller footage on both controller 1 and 3, to verify you ain't doing weird stuff like notching your controller.

 

[RJ MacReady]

When did this turn into a Cosmo dicksucking thread

I'm genuinely surprised by the amount of people tripping over themselves to hype this up as a comeback.

 

[Bender]

I'm genuinely surprised by the amount of people tripping over themselves to hype this up as a comeback.

Why? Narcissa dropped off the face of speedrunning and now she's back with (debatable) world records, that sounds like the definition of a comeback story to me.

 

[Strange Looking Dog]

It's not a comeback, but what's the point in diminishing it? Cosmo did ok for himself, even if someone's definitely going to top his record within the month.

 

[RJ MacReady]

Why? Narcissa dropped off the face of speedrunning and now she's back with (debatable) world records, that sounds like the definition of a comeback story to me.

He's still a depressed, drug addicted tranny living with his parents in antisocial seclusion. A speedrunning world record does not outweigh that fundamental reality.

 

[SwattedKat]

He's still a depressed, drug addicted tranny living with his parents in antisocial seclusion. A speedrunning world record does not outweigh that fundamental reality.

Ah but many feel the heart of Cosmo's transition lies in his fall from grace within the speed running community. Hitting the reset button so to speak is an interesting variable to that reality.

 

[RJ MacReady]

Ah but many feel the heart of Cosmo's transition lies in his fall from grace within the speed running community. Hitting the reset button so to speak is an interesting variable to that reality.

Oh yeah, I can totally understand it as a kind of moral, poetic victory given that it's a WR for the game he's best known for. But I think it's too early to call it a comeback given that his life is pretty indisputably still on a downwards slope.

 

[SwattedKat]

Fair points. It is rather early to call it a comeback.

 

[David Davidson]

I'm genuinely surprised by the amount of people tripping over themselves to hype this up as a comeback.

Look at the bigger picture.

Narcissa is tweeting her times out and her fans are ecstatic. She for sure likes the fact that she is claiming the WR for the new OOT any% runs. If you have a comeback, you can have a fall too. The fall might even be because the speedrunning community dosent like the hardware mods and ban it outright and all this work was for nothing.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Look at the bigger picture.

Narcissa is tweeting her times out and her fans are ecstatic. She for sure likes the fact that she is claiming the WR for the new OOT any% runs. If you have a comeback, you can have a fall too. The fall might even be because the speedrunning community dosent like the hardware mods and ban it outright and all this work was for nothing.

I'd argue the fall is that Narcissa is still Narcissa. Narcissa wasn't a cow because he lost his WR. That might have played a part in it, but it was the trooning out and doing weird ass streams that made Narcissa a cow. I do agree it shouldn't diminish the fact that he accomplished something, and in a bubble, it could be a sign Narcissa was getting better and trying to regain his pre-cow existence, but it seems like a huge stretch to say just because Narcissa is speedrunning again that he's going to drop the troon stuff and become his old Cosmo self again. I mean, Narcissa was doing speedruns and getting invested in gaming post trooning out. He was doing some random BoTW run categories that nobody cared about and all that Smash stuff. It didn't make him any less of a cow.

I actually think the best thing for Narcissa might be if his newest record is disqualified, because I think at least some percentage of people will come to his defense, and I think that kind of support/validation is what Narcissa wants. If he gets involved in a community again, even if it is something a little 'tism heavy like speedrunning, it could be enough to bring back his old Cosmo side. Right now, it seems like he's still just sitting in the dark grinding out runs with no real human interaction, which isn't exactly what I'd call a comeback.

At the same time, just posting videos and seeming to care about something is a good sign and could potentially lead to an actual comeback, but right now, it just seems too early/generous to call it that. Then again, by cow standards, actually accomplishing anything is arguably impressive in and of itself, so there's that.

 

[The Fatriarchy]

I still don't know why people here can compare using rubberbands to hold a position on the stick that would also be trivial for a human to hold (since the controller already has that shape naturally) to physically modifying a controller so that, with or without help, you can hold an extremely specific position that wouldn't be easy to hold by normal means... Unless you're thirsting for Cosmo, in which case you really need higher standards.

After all the bullshitting I see in this thread about how speedrunning is totally cool because it requires some kind of skill, surely you should be able to see that this is something that unquestionably takes a good part of the "skill" out of the speedrun. It's the kind of minimal effort we've come to expect of Cosmo by this point.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

The lack of any supplementary video evidence is what is bugging me here, not the method used. It's pretty common now to have a camera showing the player... playing the game. Or show me the inputs or something. All I see is video being played back. How do I know this wasn't recorded? How do I know this wasn't spliced? How do I know this wasn't someone else playing? Two people playing? Something entirely different?

I just need to see Cosmo pushing buttons and making an attempt to look like he's playing along with what I see on screen. As it is now I've got TSA-tier footage with TSA-tier evidence backing up the legitimacy of the run. I want to believe but we all know how speedrunners can be. You cannot simply believe.

 

[General Tug Boat]

Even despite my comments last week when posting on this thread, I can congratulate our twink on their new record. Now Cosmo can sleep on livestream another fortnight after his daily binge of soy infused milk. semen.