3 years ago
I've been semi active on Patreon. Active in the sense that I at least update regularly enough. Haven't been public much though for reasons I hope you can at least understand. To those who went the extra mile to contact me I've kept in touch. It's not a great situation to be in but at least you are understanding. Part of why I'm writing this has to do with the fact that I have a plane to catch soon and I'm really nervous in light of the recent troubles but eh. The point is I'm here now so I figured I should update.
Keep in mind that I am racing to post these in a way that I can avoid reading any comments right now. I'm prepared to post but it will take a little longer to deal with comments. I hope you understand. I'm trying to get through this believe me this effects me the most.
- The Offbeatr website died or something. That's fine. I kept all of the messages ever sent and I have contact with most people. I will be working on the higher rewards. I know you heard it before but it's for real. I already have a few done. I will upload them in batches as I feel comfortable with dealing with the issue. It's been an embarrassing shit show and I've been having a hard time confronting the issue and everyone involved in a person to person basis. I appreciate the support and the project was indeed finished, i't should be up for free soon if it isn't up already (decision some supporters helped me come to) but I still failed abysmally on the higher rewards since they aren't done yet. People have been asking about the Tentacle folio. It's been done for about a year and a few people do have access to it. The problem is I've been so stressed out that I couldn't handle putting it up. Makes no sense I know.
- Moved into a new place. I now have a cat, beagle, and parrot in my life. They are roomies pets but still. Started taking care of my uncle (muscular dystrophy, it runs in that part of the family on that side) because he needs help here he can't get in Puerto Rico. Finally got nurses coming in three times a week so now he's bathing. It's not much that he needs. Meals here and holding his pants there while he kicks them on. It's rough. Also rescued a cousin from Puerto Rico months later and tried to help him out. He started dating another cousin here which got her kicked of her place so I started helping her too. This included having her mom storm through my front door to beat her down. After half a year of this I had to give them the boot because they were lazy and I was just enabling this. I gave them all of the resources (DCF, job agencies, contacts, etc)/ food/ encouragement/ w/e they needed. They chose to sleep all day and watch netflix all night. I did help him with the drawing thing (he is an artist) and tried to get him on the path to working through the internet/ social media/ networking. He adapted to the digital drawing bit quickly and I gave him a tablet but he wanted me to do all of his social media/ sites for him. lol. The coup de grace was when I vouched for him to a friend of mine who promised an all expenses paid trip to Alaska for commercial fishing which guaranteed him $15,000 a month. for a few months. Weak excuses ensued. Before he left he got drunk and revealed somethings to me. Confirmed some things I kind of knew but spent my whole life being told something differently and shocked me with a few other things. Like 70% of that part of the family are child molesters while 100% are complicit in covering it up. I won't name names or point fingers but they know what they did and everyone is looking the other way. Had this confirm by outing them and getting told "family shame" excuses. Disgusting. At least I now know the whole story of why they hated "us". Apparently my dad was a bastard child and they all pretty much turned their backs on us (my immediate family) using religion as an excuse. W/e. Now, a few weeks after I got both cousins tickets to Puerto Rico, I am getting shit from them for not helping out "all the way" or "100%" like I was "supposed to" on top of catching shit from everyone else for "letting her get pregnant". Oh by the way they both had testing and both have an adult onset version of dystrophy and it will slowly get worse and worse over the next decade until it's in full swing. They are in a depression spiral and I am being blamed. Yay!
- Health has been hit or miss. Usually miss. Steroids used to treat an initial illness drained me from an apparently already compromised immune system. Apparently ran an tooth abscess for months which lead to swelling/ constant pain which lead to problems using the cpap machine which is used to help me sleep through apnea brought on by allergic rhinitus, a decade of using otc sinus meds daily, soft pallat, and weight. Destroyed my energy. If I wasn't sleeping for 12-16 hours in a day I was running around barely keeping it together. Anxiety issues and panic attacks became a reoccuring thing. Fucked me up socially (Anthrocon was a mess, thank you everyone for keeping me together and I'm sorry I disappeared quickly. I basically slept the rest of the time.) and apparently I can no longer drive? Shit. And I go through heart attacks every time I get a text message or an email from an important contact. So I kinda sorta closed myself off. And got fired from a few jobs. Then the hypochondria began. For a while anyway. Until I got a grip of what was going on. In reality I've been doing better since.... Decemberish. I kind of wanted to rejoin the public internet spaces by then but I started dealing with an onslaught of winter illnesses which I am just now only 3 weeks getting over. Had it all. Shit like massive head colds and what felt like stomach viruses simultaneously. Not going to get into details but, well, there is nothing sexy about getting this sick.
That about covers it really. Shame. Stress. Sick. Undertale and Zootopia are a thing I can get behind and I wanted nothing more than go all in with the arts. Still will - even if I am late to the game. And Dan Harmon is like, my favorite person in the world and although that has no bearing here I just felt like saying it.
I just figured I owe an update.
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