Remember back when people used to make fun of Australian internet speeds? Remember how they'd mock us, humiliate us, kick us out of their online games if we tried to join, imitate dial-up sounds over voice chat with us, make jokes about our servers being powered by wombats on treadmills? It's because Australian broadband infrastructure developed slowly. The telcoms were reluctant to spend the expenses expanding infrastructure into less populated regions that weren't going to immediately support them, because no matter where they'll build they'll only be able to charge fair market value for use of that infrastructure. America, on the other hand, didn't give a fuck. They didn't think of their futures, all they thought about was how they wanted their high-speed wireless right now now now now. In America, it was absolutely a winning proposition to build high-speed internet in a backwoods Kentucky trailer park, because you then get to monopolise that high-speed internet forever and charge whatever the fuck you want for it, because you're the only player in town. America quite literally gave a pack of thieving opportunistic modern-day Railroad Barons absolute power over access to the internet, because the fat, mindless, constantly-screeching-for-instant-gratification American populace simply couldn't wait that few extra years for the free market to take it's course and expand their infrastructure naturally.
And as it happened, as the conniving shylocks slowly tightened their greasy, money-grubbing fists around the throat of the American people, they laughed. They chortled and they clapped and they stuffed hamburgers into their fat stupid ugly faces and they laughed at us. They laughed at us poor dumb Australians with our dial-up speeds and our modem noises. They chanted "America #1" and they uploaded files without compressing them and they streamed all their movies and they laughed. They laughed at Australia. They laughed right in our faces and they thought the laughter would never end.
Who's laughing now, you cunts?