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Burned Docs New Leak(s) 15JUN2014
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The Doctor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2013
My God... New oldschool content?!
What treasures have been unearthed or will be unearthed now? Will be see more of his school work that will put Chris on the spotlight as the huge tubby liar he is? Will the actual Sonichu originals be recovered? And if so, will there be plans to sell them on eBay for like $10 a page only for Chris to find out and
before demanding all money made from the sales of said pages either be given to him or used to buy him Legos?
Skyraider91, I commend you good sir! For all you have provided us with and will hopefully continue to provide us with.
What treasures have been unearthed or will be unearthed now? Will be see more of his school work that will put Chris on the spotlight as the huge tubby liar he is? Will the actual Sonichu originals be recovered? And if so, will there be plans to sell them on eBay for like $10 a page only for Chris to find out and
before demanding all money made from the sales of said pages either be given to him or used to buy him Legos?Skyraider91, I commend you good sir! For all you have provided us with and will hopefully continue to provide us with.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
Haha... Wow! Chris' much vaunted Spanish skills on display for the world to see. The language of Cervantes and Gabriel García Márquez, the language of duende and culture, and Chris unsurprisingly manages to butcher it. Somehow, I'm less than surprised. For someone who was in high school, it looks an awful lot like something a third grader would have drawn. And the sad part is he looks to have put more work into the art than his actual assignment. Even his handwriting is atrocious.
But how am I the first one to point out that he appears to have drawn a bloody tissue box on top of his television? I mean, we know he had no qualms telling complete strangers about dirty, stained briefs
or drinking Fanta with his navy in it 
but still... isn't this basically just admitting that he jerked off in his room? I shudder to think what some of those stains might be...
I don't know, but I like the phrase Holy Kahlua and want to use it more often!
Ha! I've been feeling kind of nostalgic about those old school computer games lately, so I'd play the hell out of CWyst... except I get the sneaking suspicion that whatever would pass for "puzzles" in that world would be either incredibly simple or frustratingly complicated and make no sense (much like Chris' "riddle" that he posted on FB).
Actually, that's not just European countries. In Colombia at least the dates are written day-month-year, and sometimes with Roman numerals. I assume its the same for Mexico, Peru, Cuba and other Spanish-speaking countries in the Western Hemisphere. Of course, using Roman numerals would have required teaching Chris a whole new thing and that boy just ain't inclined to learn, even if he'd only have to count up to XII.
Not really all that surprising. Remember, Chris doesn't have a social life, nor does he care whether something was popular or age appropriate. It's easy to get into games early when all you do is play vidya and watch cartoons.
Yep, I've said the same thing before.
What year was Chris at this time? American high schools have four years, and its unlikely Chris' Spanish would have been good enough to justify bumping him ahead a year or two, so he couldn't have taken 4th year Spanish before he was a Senior. And that's assuming that his school offered 4th year Spanish (which is a pretty good bet, but still).
Unfortunately (especially for the Spanish people), it IS possible Chris would have gotten into 4th year Spanish. Chris was never held back. The school seemed to just give him passing grades to get them out of their hair. I'm sure they would have let Chris take whatever classes he wanted because it wasn't worth fighting Borb over the issue. It's not like he was actually going to achieve much. I've seen similar crap with schools up here. We have kids in Chicago schools who are functionally illiterate, and kids who are in geometry who can't do basic multiplication without a calculator. Hell, I've seen kids who can't convert fractions to decimals (and seem genuinely baffled by the concept that .25 is equal to 1/4, for example), but in upper level maths. And these are people who are smarter and more ambitious than Chris!
To be fair, you don't post subpar webcomics and act like they're masterpieces either. I mean, I know my artistic talents aren't exactly up to snuff (though they're still better than Sonichu). But if I were inclined to post stuff, I wouldn't just settle on my first try. I'd at least put some effort into it, and use quality paper and art supplies too. Of course, I could write much better dialogue than Chris. "My wooden badge was delicious?"
As other people have noted, Chris' concept of geography is sketchy at best. Interestingly, he seems to lump all of Africa and Europe together while putting Canada and Mexico as separate countries. None of which look anything like their real world counterparts. And yes, Asia is mostly missing from his map, though it looks like Africa is still connected to the Eurasian supercontinent by the Arabian peninsula... or maybe its supposed to be Anatolia or a stretched out Israel and Levant? Either way, its coloured in as part of Africa, not Asia, which is rather baffling. Also, Africa bears more resemblance to South America than Africa... there's no Horn of Africa, no Nile or Suez, no Gulf of Guinea...
Yep. Pretty much this. Except Chris didn't really have any friends, so he had even more time to obsess over vidya.
Actually, that one bothers me even more than his art or butchery of the Spanish language. He's saying that his brother is ugly. Okay, maybe he's trying to be funny, but Chris seems to be pretty callous towards the people he knows. What a little narcissist.
Yes it has. That's part of the appeal of his Sonichu comics, actually. They just got weirder and more surreal as they went on.
Ha!
He probably should have been in special ed classes (and in fact, I seem to recall his "day in the life of Chris" project implying he was) but most of his work seems to indicate otherwise. I suspect maybe he was given a mix of special ed and regular classes to facilitate his transition. Of course, being Chris, he never took advantage of that and just slept or read Goosebumps books. I'm actually appalled that they would have let him move ahead, but I'm sure the teachers just wanted him out of their hair at that point. Its a pity because maybe getting held back a year would have sent Chris a message that he needed to actually do some work.
Oh the Song of Christian. I was just reading that again. Such terrible work. I don't think he really made the Honor Roll, or if he did, they really must have lowered the bar for him. I do think its funny he's so proud of his work when this is showing what utter crap it was.
Oh, I have no doubt that 14BC was a giant garbage pile, but it's not surprising that some stuff burnt even though other stuff was lost. Remember, fires take time to spread. They don't burn with the same intensity all across the house, nor will everything of gone up all at once. Some stuff is just more flammable that other stuff, and some stuff will be protected. Clearly this didn't go up in flames for whatever reason. Let's all take a moment to appreciate that.
Heh. Not really surprising. For one thing, we know Barb is a hoarder, and that Chrissun was her special little angel. I'm sure she kept every single childhood drawing and homework assignment little Chris ever wrote, because it was her keepsake, showing how he'd overcome his Atismu. She's probably got even more boxes filled with his crap. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd kept his baby clothes... Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd kept his dirty soiled briefs and fapcups for that matter.
But also, remember that Chris is a thirty-something year old manchild who is still living with his mother and has never moved out in his life. He's never gone off to college, he's never had an apartment, he's never even lived with a girlfriend. He's never had to move in his life, which means he's had a good three decades worth of time to accumulate stuff and never needed to throw anything out. At least not until the house fire. Worst case scenario it would have been put in a box and forgotten, likely after a few minutes with Chris.
But how am I the first one to point out that he appears to have drawn a bloody tissue box on top of his television? I mean, we know he had no qualms telling complete strangers about dirty, stained briefs
or drinking Fanta with his navy in it but still... isn't this basically just admitting that he jerked off in his room? I shudder to think what some of those stains might be...I don't know, but I like the phrase Holy Kahlua and want to use it more often!
Ha! I've been feeling kind of nostalgic about those old school computer games lately, so I'd play the hell out of CWyst... except I get the sneaking suspicion that whatever would pass for "puzzles" in that world would be either incredibly simple or frustratingly complicated and make no sense (much like Chris' "riddle" that he posted on FB).
Actually, that's not just European countries. In Colombia at least the dates are written day-month-year, and sometimes with Roman numerals. I assume its the same for Mexico, Peru, Cuba and other Spanish-speaking countries in the Western Hemisphere. Of course, using Roman numerals would have required teaching Chris a whole new thing and that boy just ain't inclined to learn, even if he'd only have to count up to XII.
Not really all that surprising. Remember, Chris doesn't have a social life, nor does he care whether something was popular or age appropriate. It's easy to get into games early when all you do is play vidya and watch cartoons.
Yep, I've said the same thing before.
I'm just really curious if that 4 after Spanish means "Spanish 4" or "4th period Spanish." Because if that's an upper-level Spanish assignment, I will never bitch about my French grades again.
What year was Chris at this time? American high schools have four years, and its unlikely Chris' Spanish would have been good enough to justify bumping him ahead a year or two, so he couldn't have taken 4th year Spanish before he was a Senior. And that's assuming that his school offered 4th year Spanish (which is a pretty good bet, but still).
Unfortunately (especially for the Spanish people), it IS possible Chris would have gotten into 4th year Spanish. Chris was never held back. The school seemed to just give him passing grades to get them out of their hair. I'm sure they would have let Chris take whatever classes he wanted because it wasn't worth fighting Borb over the issue. It's not like he was actually going to achieve much. I've seen similar crap with schools up here. We have kids in Chicago schools who are functionally illiterate, and kids who are in geometry who can't do basic multiplication without a calculator. Hell, I've seen kids who can't convert fractions to decimals (and seem genuinely baffled by the concept that .25 is equal to 1/4, for example), but in upper level maths. And these are people who are smarter and more ambitious than Chris!
To be fair, you don't post subpar webcomics and act like they're masterpieces either. I mean, I know my artistic talents aren't exactly up to snuff (though they're still better than Sonichu). But if I were inclined to post stuff, I wouldn't just settle on my first try. I'd at least put some effort into it, and use quality paper and art supplies too. Of course, I could write much better dialogue than Chris. "My wooden badge was delicious?"
As other people have noted, Chris' concept of geography is sketchy at best. Interestingly, he seems to lump all of Africa and Europe together while putting Canada and Mexico as separate countries. None of which look anything like their real world counterparts. And yes, Asia is mostly missing from his map, though it looks like Africa is still connected to the Eurasian supercontinent by the Arabian peninsula... or maybe its supposed to be Anatolia or a stretched out Israel and Levant? Either way, its coloured in as part of Africa, not Asia, which is rather baffling. Also, Africa bears more resemblance to South America than Africa... there's no Horn of Africa, no Nile or Suez, no Gulf of Guinea...
Yep. Pretty much this. Except Chris didn't really have any friends, so he had even more time to obsess over vidya.
Actually, that one bothers me even more than his art or butchery of the Spanish language. He's saying that his brother is ugly. Okay, maybe he's trying to be funny, but Chris seems to be pretty callous towards the people he knows. What a little narcissist.
Yes it has. That's part of the appeal of his Sonichu comics, actually. They just got weirder and more surreal as they went on.
Ha!
He probably should have been in special ed classes (and in fact, I seem to recall his "day in the life of Chris" project implying he was) but most of his work seems to indicate otherwise. I suspect maybe he was given a mix of special ed and regular classes to facilitate his transition. Of course, being Chris, he never took advantage of that and just slept or read Goosebumps books. I'm actually appalled that they would have let him move ahead, but I'm sure the teachers just wanted him out of their hair at that point. Its a pity because maybe getting held back a year would have sent Chris a message that he needed to actually do some work.
Oh the Song of Christian. I was just reading that again. Such terrible work. I don't think he really made the Honor Roll, or if he did, they really must have lowered the bar for him. I do think its funny he's so proud of his work when this is showing what utter crap it was.
Oh, I have no doubt that 14BC was a giant garbage pile, but it's not surprising that some stuff burnt even though other stuff was lost. Remember, fires take time to spread. They don't burn with the same intensity all across the house, nor will everything of gone up all at once. Some stuff is just more flammable that other stuff, and some stuff will be protected. Clearly this didn't go up in flames for whatever reason. Let's all take a moment to appreciate that.
Heh. Not really surprising. For one thing, we know Barb is a hoarder, and that Chrissun was her special little angel. I'm sure she kept every single childhood drawing and homework assignment little Chris ever wrote, because it was her keepsake, showing how he'd overcome his Atismu. She's probably got even more boxes filled with his crap. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd kept his baby clothes... Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd kept his dirty soiled briefs and fapcups for that matter.
But also, remember that Chris is a thirty-something year old manchild who is still living with his mother and has never moved out in his life. He's never gone off to college, he's never had an apartment, he's never even lived with a girlfriend. He's never had to move in his life, which means he's had a good three decades worth of time to accumulate stuff and never needed to throw anything out. At least not until the house fire. Worst case scenario it would have been put in a box and forgotten, likely after a few minutes with Chris.
Panzer IV
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
Este es mi cuarto, yo llavo (hay) mochillia, una cama, unos videos, unos posters, un television, unos juego de videos, un aparador, unos estantes, unas almohadas,
En mi cuarto yo no llavo (hay) una alfombra, unos discos, un stereo, un radio despertador, unas plantas, una camara, unas cintas, una maquina de escribir, una silla y una grabadora.
This is my room, there is a bag, a bed, some videos, posters, a television, some videogames, a sideboard, a shelve, a pillow.
In my room there is a carpet, some records, a stereo, an alarm clock, a plant, a camera, tapes, a typewriter, a chair and a recorder.
"yo llavo" doesn't exist
- Joined
- May 5, 2013
I can't be the only one who thinks that these drawings are of a better quality than what Chris churned out post-high school.
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2013
(In the second paragraph he is actually saying what there is not in his room)
Juego de videos would actually be "juegos de video" wich sounds extremely awkard to me but I think its actually used in south America...in castillian spanish it would be "videojuegos" anyways.
"Un television" would actually be "una televisión" (feminine), because in spanish tvs are girls for some reason xD
His <whoever> es <whatever> bueno phrases are pretty retarded. It should be <whoever> es un buen ("buena" if its femenine, as in the secretary example) <whatever>
And Sonic is a puercoespín (or erizo), not a "puerco espino"
About the "yo llavo"...being spanish myself, I have no fucking idea what he was trying to say...most similar I can think of is "yo llevo", wich means "I carry".
In any case Ricardo es muy gordo y bastante maricón. Le gusta cagarse y no hacer nada.
También le gusta el autismo y gritar JULAAY!
- Joined
- May 5, 2013
Yeah. I never kept my homework, I never saw any reason to. Sometimes we had to keep our homework (particularly math) for the semester, but I can guarantee you, by the end of the semester, or year, all my homework and tests wold be gotten rid of. But then, the Hoard doesn't discriminate.
B
BT 075
Guest
kiwifarms.net
lol gringo stupido christiano
very grosso too
very grosso too
My God, He got a shit tons of things wrong. Even the fucking Bill of Rights.
Christian Weston Chandler: A True American in Honor Roll!
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- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
hellbound
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2013
This was probably Spanish I. In Virginia public schools at least and to my understanding in much of the country, you pretty much can't take a foreign language until high school (which is fucking stupid because the younger you are the better you learn a language) and you need anywhere from zero to two years of foreign language classes. So going into Spanish I in junior year of high school and constructing sentences like "Mario es muy gordo" is not unusual.
Pinhead
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2013
Okay, I didn't think this warranted a new thread, so I'll just post it in here. Chris has a new voicemail. It's really entertaining. I couldn't get a decent recording, but it's a parody of George Costanza's voicemail from Seinfeld. "Believe it or not, Chris isn't at home" etc.
Anyone with a decent mic able to record?
Apart from that, what a find, Skyraider. Did you make a deal with Beel to acquire these anchuent fartefacts?
EDIT: Transcribed it: "Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone, please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not I am really streeeeeeeeeeeeeessed."
Anyone with a decent mic able to record?
Apart from that, what a find, Skyraider. Did you make a deal with Beel to acquire these anchuent fartefacts?
EDIT: Transcribed it: "Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone, please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not I am really streeeeeeeeeeeeeessed."
Last edited:
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
I always kept my homework for the entire year just in case the teacher fucked up and said I didn't turn it in or wrote down a different grade from what they wrote on my homework. Once the last day of school ended however everything went in the trash.
The only reason I can think of for Chris to hoard his homework is because he thought it was a monumental achievement to preserve for all time. Y'know, like everything else he does.
I finished high school in 2011 and I still have a folder of stuff, though to be fair it's either booklets with useful information in them (my Audio Design teacher was notorious for photocopying textbooks) or writing assignments that I liked. I can't imagine keeping this much nonsense for so many years though.
Anyway, skyraider, you are a GodBear among men. Can't wait to see the rest of this.
Anyway, skyraider, you are a GodBear among men. Can't wait to see the rest of this.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
That homework is probably the only thing Chris has put one iota of effort into. He'd probably bring those folders to a job interview in lieu of a resume.
guau
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 15, 2014
I still have all my BA stuff because sometimes it's fun to go back to, but only the third year stuff. I wonder what high school would like a 16-18 year old do illegible drawings as schoolwork? Oh it's Chris, I imagine it was something to get him to do the work as writing a full essay was "stressful".
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