New Tobin Paradigm shits up the Hector Martin thread.

Because me spinning out like a nut doesn't provide enough to warrant the rank and attention of a lolcow and even then it wouldn't be good enough.. I should be the omnicow! But seriously, I don't know.. I just don't but my raw instinct is to find out. Something contrary happening? "Well.. We'll see about that." .. These are bits I know to be core to my self..

For the record.. I really didn't want to shit up anyone's thread.. My general theory was my sudden appearance would liven it up once they got word. Asahi people have been running from me for months.. Even though I have no power other than mean words and .. EVENTUALLY coming here .. but you guys used Forum Moderation and it was Super Effective.

I've been in the field too long. I also honor promises for way too long after people screw me.. Had I known and connected it then.. it could have been a spectacle of incredible autistic perfection rather than shitting up the thread. Oh well.

Welp guess my only real .. effectual enemies are The President of the United States, Most of the Federal Government, Elon Musk (At least Gates made shit that mostly worked), Most of the Democratic and Republican Parties.. So basically the state in 2005 but EVEN SHITTIER. Well.. Maybe I can work with it. But these freaks.. man these freaks.. I don't join shit no more.. People join MY shit or they can fuck off.. This freakshow is over for me.. I am retired.. That's reTIRED not reTARDED.. but you decide I guess.

Not that I am vanishing or anything.. well unless the government does it.. I have to wait for my autistic brethern to throw off the shackles and tyranny of the ADHD Psycopath.
 
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  • Autistic
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OKAY.. Now i get it.. Byuu was Kudo's friend.. Neal Gompa is the undisclosed party.

--KUDO YOU STUPID FUCKING SON OF A BITCH.. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE GOD DAMNED TRUTH.. THE WHOLE FUCKING TRUTH.. BUT NO YOU HAD TO FUCK ME TO PROTECT YOUR LIBERAL BULLSHIT FRIENDS WHILE EXCLUDING THE AUTIST WITH A BAD MOUTH YOU'VE KNOWN FOR AT THE TIME 13 YEARS?! FUCK YOU.

REPORT TO KIWIFARMS AND FACE ME YOU COWARD.

Ahem.. That is how I am connected. Lulzy enough for ya?
 
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The person I been primarily bitching about for days. Simple Google Search everything about him is public.. like my self. I was once told a very limited version of the google doc as his personal story but I figured he was just trying to get me to continue imparting all my secrets so he could help me determine the flaw. The ACTUAL one. I am simply convinced said flaw was my friends. I nearly killed my self in early 2024 but I decided not to. Then I decided on revenge then co-existence then reconciliation and now I am just over it all so it is exposier. I been exposed for years.. Fuck every last one of them.

I have always been the type to say fuck you and I want you to know it is me saying it. I predate the farms. I am of the Internet not their walled off openweb.

The story of that troubled youth offing them self is sad.. I felt it was sad when I got the restricted version of the story. It is a horrific thing to imagine facing and no one knows how they will react if that came up.. Freezing and stunned is not a reaction to hide.. Hiding it is what makes you a piece of shit.. Oh but that's not why he is hiding.. it is because of the crusade against Kiwifarms.. The same Kiwifarms that was there for me as odd as that was. While he could barely be bothered to respond.. and then it was all about language and fuckin the farms and old internet culture vs this shit and trans trans trans.. The simple fact is.. Kudo does not seem to have a good track record with autistics.. This hector person and their associates have really had an effect around me and I never even knew it..

EDIT:

I guess techincally Kiwifarms is responsible for all of this.. Why did you want me to kill my self via an overcomplicated plot of affecting people I don't even know and having a trickle out effect? This must mean kiwifarms are the baddies.. OOPS!

The shit thing of it is.. Had he sent me a link to the thread like a fuckin human being I would have defended my friends and those being attacked. He explicitly knows this. And Kiwifarms would have been utterly exterminated, I'm sure. It could have been just the thing to clear my mind and fight the good fight for whomever cared enough to be bothered to help me.. or so it seems just CLAIM to.

I could have started an epic forum war like the good old days.. but of course.. cancel culture.
 
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I could have started an epic forum war like the good old days.. but of course.. cancel culture
You see farms as evil. You post in evil farms. You now poster of evil farms. System of farms is provide freedom to be trapped by own words. Yake avantage of people want defend self. Words continue pile. People die under words. Dont die from yuor words.
 
Offensive often vile in expression.. but I fuckin read a significant portion of ED.. I know when it is real and when it isn't.. most of the time... Someone driven over the edge by an internet forum obviously didn't have the proper support structure from their friends. A FORUM has never made me want to kill my self.. Only my Retro Friends. Bullied into death for being made fun of for being a sperg.. I wish I never told retro people that cause what was I made fun of over.. being a sperg.. That didn't affect me because being Autistic isn't the totality of who I am.. I am also an asshole on the internet. Have been since I logged on long before I was ever diagnosed. These fuckers can only sign in.. They know less than I which is why most of what they say is regurgitated trash from fingering social media.

As for posting on kiwifarms.. that ship passed in 2022 when here was the only place I could be at the time and my friends were absent. If you are as bad as they say you are.. me being here at all is a failure in MY support structure and yet I keep going and going and going like the energizer furry.. FUCK.

Basically if I don't get a phone call from any of my former friends saying fuck whatever you said.. we care about you and your safety.. Then maybe.. but I dunno if I'd even believe it at this point.. But that call will never come. Will it? People with good friends don't allow their friends to end up here either as a thread or in person and NO ONE CAME TO MY DEFENSE WHEN KIWIFARMS TURNED THEIR EYE TO ME.. TWICE IN 2019 (i lost the thread and didn't know about it at the time but it does explain a few difficulties I had then) AND 2022.. and in 2022 both the Tweaker Camp and Kudo came to me to get me to stop posting on kiwifarms.. to protect their own interests.. never for my safety.. Least the Pale Moon fucks did as I taught them.. Attack weakness and create drama. Well I take too much credit.. I focused it only to actually be effective.

EDIT:

Can you imagine a battle between my self and Kiwifarms at the height of my power in 2019.. jesus christ.. THAT would have warrented me the rank of lolcow.

tl;dr if I die by my own words those words shall be the fucking truth as I experienced it and as it personally affected me.. Fuck them.
 
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@New Tobin Paradigm I can't speak for everyone but I wanted you to kill yourself so that the Farms can finally get a legitimate kill, but after watching you sperg out I have come to realize that you are the only person who you really listen to.

It's a shame really, we deserve to increment that kill counter at least once, given all the suicides that unfairly get blamed on us. I suppose it is forever to remain a big goose egg. At least now we have a thread where Tobin can schizopost to his hearts content and we can all marvel at the ramblings.

I won't call that a win, but at least it's a nice consolation prize.
 
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I wouldn't say that is entirely accurate and yeah but it isn't personal. I intend to sperg forever.. I have little choice on that.. I would rather be taken out in a high profile case that leads to complete exposier of everything and everyone or as much a possible or perhaps defending something important.. Not these people.
 
I have an issue.. I re-read the document. It reads like Kudo.. he literally used to edit for me on my site back in the old days.. The phrases used were used in isolation over time.. There is one fact about that document that says it isn't Kudo.. the mentions of this friend being localish.. Someone IN japan. Kudo does not live in Japan.. So either more than one person was in this call.. This detail was added to throw people off the track. Or my good and dear friend used another person's sad story to try and manipulate me. I remember the call when he told me, the shock and silence and waiting he expressed.. but not a who or when..

I am getting legit upset now.. Unless.. it was all a loyalty test. Fuckin hippocrit. I am loyal until you fuck me over too many times.

Does it ever stop?
> no, kill yourself
No. Surrender to the Supreme Autist.
> no, you're gay and a fag

See I don't NEED to be here. I can farm my self.

Maybe the reason it doesn't ring completely true despite being almost certainly MOSTLY true as it happened is because it was written as press release by a writer with a group collaboration with an agenda instead of a personal call to action. That may be what you are sensing.
 
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I have an issue.. I re-read the document. It reads like Kudo.. he literally used to edit for me on my site back in the old days.. The phrases used were used in isolation over time.. There is one fact about that document that says it isn't Kudo.. the mentions of this friend being localish.. Someone IN japan. Kudo does not live in Japan.. So either more than one person was in this call.. This detail was added to throw people off the track. Or my good and dear friend used another person's sad story to try and manipulate me. I remember the call when he told me, the shock and silence and waiting he expressed.. but not a who or when..

I am getting legit upset now.. Unless.. it was all a loyalty test. Fuckin hippocrit. I am loyal until you fuck me over too many times.

Does it ever stop?
> no, kill yourself
No. Surrender to the Supreme Autist.
> no, you're gay and a fag

See I don't NEED to be here. I can farm my self.

Maybe the reason it doesn't ring completely true despite being almost certainly MOSTLY true as it happened is because it was written as press release by a writer with a group collaboration with an agenda instead of a personal call to action. That may be what you are sensing.
Do you have any idea which person or group could have written the Byuuicide doc, and can you explain who they are?
 
Unfortunately no.. Some furry group by the icon .. So whatever group has Hector and Kudo and furries .. If I had said and done the correct things I may have met them.. but it would have ended badly.. Because Kudo was my friend I did not want to fuck up his other friendships with my bullshit.. It has happened before.. Not until I got my shit sorted out.. But you don't tell an autistic ex-maga (original run) that all I have to do is become a liberal in so many words.. And you don't tell me that the form of articulation is suddenly wrong when you know virtually everything about me and then make communication and friendship contingent on that. I also get loud and threat-y spergy grandiose threats you know.. like total extermination of all of humanity .. the kinds of shit you say when you're a fuckin loser and quite confused.

I should have figured this couldn't be a one and done deal.. Go in sperg out, shit on kudo via hector, and leave.. I should have just let it go.. god damn it.

If someone can connect this somehow to Sonic Retro or The Cutting Room Floor .. I may actually kill my self over that.. A 15 year Sonic Retro Conspiracy against.. no Sonic Retro farming me for that long.. I don't think I could lead my people to salvation with that shit hanging on me.. I would be unfit to be Supreme Commander.

EDIT:

So the issue is... My fatal flaw.. is.. I can't let shit go. Well did I certainly pick the wrong fuckin place if I want help with that LOL

I need to figure out if it is an actual flaw or something I picked up and incorporated.. cause if it is the latter.. I'll let not letting go go right now .. uhh yeah.
 
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Do you think Hector encouraged Byuu to kill himself? I have a theory (admittedly without evidence) that when Byuu told Hector of his desire to die, Hector gave him the idea of blaming the Farms. Sort of like, "if you're gonna do it anyway this is how you can make it count" does this sound like the kind of thing Hector would do?
 
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The document has more than one voice.. I am sure of it. I been reading up on Lina's stuff with Luna.. Yeah so I'm the faggot cause I been channeling bs str8 from Lina reporting of Luna before I ever found out about this thread. Something isn't right.. Luna's reaction is being provoked.. Something that works on normies but not autistics causing internal conflict much more than what a person decides to be that day or for the rest of their life. Not saying Luna is sane or some off brand eq for them.. These people do not handle autistics well at all.. Anyway.

Do I think it was an intentional make em an hero plan.. No that doesn't ring true.. But Hector has sure botched it and I want to know what is clearly Hector's personal story being framed as Kudo's to me personally and why the document reads like Kudo used to edit and remove most of my voice from my old tech posts.. There are facts being hidden from me specifically and if facts are being hidden from me around a deeply personal and tragic thing used to elicit a specific response or behavior from my self then someone is betraying me. Well they already did but it makes more sense with the external factors.

I am attempting to use Hector's writings to identify changed traits in who was my former friend and construct my own conception of Hector as a person. Based on that extrapolation and my personal experience.. Byuu could have gone mad due to rigid but constantly shifting expectations in expression.. How a trans-autist SHOULD act to be worthy. Just a hunch.. I can't be good at this from a KF perspective because my style isn't proding to generate documentation I am more direct.. I scream at people like a fuckin lunatic. Well before that I confronted people with perspectives and conclusions and logic.. but in many 2010s circumstances screaming at people achieves the same ends.. I just need to remember it isn't universal and has outlived its use as a survival tactic.

And if you guys had turned your eye back to me when you went after hector.. It might have been enough because having externals join your friends in being at you and at you and at you would bust an already damaged and fragile psyche. Could have been me if i screamed less.

If you want to blame the contributing factors like they obviously do and should.. they should blame ALL of them not just lay it totally on Kiwifarms and lots of non-specifically identified targeting and bullying. Where are the citations from school that establish the pattern. There was bullying and shit likely all Byuu's life and they likely didn't deserve most of it.. But how much did they contribute to an already dangerous situation and then afterward use it for their own ends.. Not to protect others except perhaps from pure expression its self..

If this was my press release after I died.. I'd come back and scream at them for it being terribly unpercise and genericized. I am offended they don't prioritize their friend over the cause.. Causes mean dick without your friends.. I simply have to live with that fact and carry on anyway but that shouldn't have be true for everyone.
 
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Byuu was a butt fucking gay fur faggot who yiffed himself to death in his 30's at the height of all media championing exactly that sort of person. Maybe he was bullied as a child, but certainly that stopped a decade before he an heroed.

What is more likely is that he was huffing his own farts to the point that he isolated himself from the rest of the world. I believe the same is true for you, Tobin. We like to throw around the word autism to make fun of assholes, but the truth is that it's a serious mental disability and not the minor personality quirks that develop from a lifetime dedicated to pining after an idealized childhood that nobody gets to experience.

There is real danger in forever trying to fix the past. It leads people to seek cPTSD and autism diagnoses. A child does not have much agency in the world and finding an external malady to blame fits with that mindset. Actual autistics do things like shit themselves and scream in terror when lukewarm water touches their kneecap. It's not a minor personality quirk.

I meant it when I said you need to be an adult. You do not want to enter middle age trying to recreate the boyhood you wished had happened. We are all capable of letting our lives pass us by. You will not find sympathy if you allow that. Becoming a productive adult will be a long process and nobody worth a shit will pat your back along the way, as it should be. But if you do, a rewarding lifetime of hard work and responsibility await. It might not sound like fun now, but if you try it on, you will find that it fits.
 
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Your advice is extremely helpful.. I wish I had gotten it 20 years ago.. I dunno how I can pull off following it but thank you. I wasn't diagnosed as a small child.. It wasn't important enough.. retard was quite sufficient. However, I do have Asperger's Syndrome.. Diagnosed by a real cunt in 2005 whom wanted to withhold it the paperwork because I was acting autistic about it and challenged her credentials.

I can't STAND hot water or as everyone calls it barely warm.. I can't stand heat from the sun on my skin.. I have learned to live with the constant agitation once I understood the fuck was happening.. It still gets to me from time to time or merely is one of those accumulating prods that just make an otherwise reasonable but minor disagreement into a god damned shitshow..

I WISH YOU HAVE NOT FUCKING REMINDED ME ABOUT WATER ON THE KNEECAP YOU DICK.

EDIT: Look, the gist of it is.. I had a lot of issues interacting with other kids despite doing well in school until I got the bright idea to intentionally fail the 3rd grade version of the standardized testing for the state. As punishment I was sent into the title 1 program where i was treated as any other deficient. I have barely any education I didn't give my self outside what was required for most tests. I have barely any life experience and my social development stunted at 17. I wasn't diagnosed until 22. Then I tried to enter the workforce via diversity programs.. remember this is 2005 diversity. I did everything they said and they sent me to an even more retard focused place for job placement.. Did everything they said to do even went and trialed several local jobs.. then after that the only thing they said they could do was put me in for a position at the box packing store they also run and employ people with disabilities.. Did the jobshadow and handled the job even cleaned the god damned counter and then was sent home.. They hired someone with worse issues than me based on my lack of work experience.

The entire fucking point was work experience.. The diagnosis was to help me function in said work environment with and i stress MINIMAL accomidations.. Like perhaps by an air vent instead of a hot window or in a dark server room somewhere.. Reasonable shit. So that was it.. my parents put me on disability, kicked me out of my home, and dumpped me in an apartment with no car.. Did get a car.. lost my license.. DUI. Of course now my family is all dead the biological family is anyway.. No teaching no explanation no life skills.. and no i don't expect sympathy certainly not stated sympathy on kiwifarms.. I am not that fuckin far gone.

I am not a good lolcow candidate because my life is way too pathetic for it. So pathetic even your targets can't stand me. You can say I did it to my self.. well all but the autism.. and I did.. but I am not responsible for really anything in my life until Sonic Retro.. By then my dad had adopted several special needs children all worse off than I ever could be. It was all governed to an extent and I had no training to know better. Though it makes me feel better to think that they hate me because I actually am that pathetic. They fail to aspire to my pathetic perfection. Or some shit.. I dunno..

I am gonna at least TRY and follow your advice if I can find anyway to make it happen.. I am sure if possible the attempt may be more worthwhile to observe than our recent interactions.

EDIT2: The bright side is all that shit just gives your advice more credibility cause nothing can fuckin fix that and trying IS the insanity.. The not letting go shit. I am sure I can manage my own retardism if I didn't have to contend with that as well.. I suppose in the end.. They just didn't use the right form of expression!
 
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Tobin, doctors don't make money off of people without problems. They will diagnose a sofa with autism if it keeps the lawyers away. You are a smart man who is perfectly capable of being a normal, well adjusted, contributing member of society. Do not let a childish desire to be special hold you back. Nobody is special. We are all ordinary and boring.
 
An autists only purpose is to provide entertainment and laughs for regular, normal folk- why do you think so many lolcows and troons are autistic?


I can't STAND hot water or as everyone calls it barely warm.. I can't stand heat from the sun on my skin..

And that’s why autists will never have a ‘war’ or a ‘succession’, you all have these faggy ticks that literally make you unable to function in everyday life, I came across a turbo autist who had signs plastered on their door that said shit like “Don’t give me commands. I can’t understand sarcasm. Don’t raise your voice I don’t like loud noises” and you somehow think retards like that will somehow be able to rise up, have a fully functioning society, and be able to shoot guns?

This is the cold hard truth- the majority of autists are genetic defects, their brains are defunct to the point they need caretakers and simple tasks we normies do everyday becoming crippling obstacles that their retarded brains can’t overcome. You aren’t taking over or succeeding anything
 
Don't try, do. Put your head down and do the uncomfortable things and put the idea of failure out of your mind. If you try, you will fail. Do.
 
I always believed I could overcome anything if I know enough about it. Being diagnosed didn't change that belief and having all this shit done when problems were obvious even to me and then more shit afterward .. it is all water under the bridge by dead people or people hundreds of miles away years ago who didn't care then and certainly don't now.. I know. What does shake the belief is my involvement with these types of people. But it isn't broken.

I know a lot of these things but how do I implement the change based on it? Takes way too long for me to find out on my own.. weeks months years.. If ever.. That is my cheif functional issue. I don't know and it takes too long by my self.. Basically why I am not just any otherwise productive computer sperg.

As for the whole Autism Supremacy shit.. No shit.. But it was fun for me to consider. Keeping the title though add it to the pile.

At the end of the day however.. This is all too helpful and meaningful for kiwifarms and is getting a bit weird. You may get your prize from me yet.. but I have stuff to do first.

Until our next encounter.
 
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