Megathread Non-binary genders / Enbies - When Male and Female Aren't Special Enough

[Skitterways]

There's 2 or 3 of these creatures running around my kid's middle school. They were born female, like to wear girlie clothing/make-up, but demand to be called by male names and pronouns. Worst part: Their parents go along with this shit and are quick to jump down your throat if you call them by the wrong pronoun or their "dead name". FFS. I realize teenagers have identity issues, but wondered where they got the idea to be non-binary/trans.

 

[Coffee Druid]

There's 2 or 3 of these creatures running around my kid's middle school. They were born female, like to wear girlie clothing/make-up, but demand to be called by male names and pronouns. Worst part: Their parents go along with this shit and are quick to jump down your throat if you call them by the wrong pronoun or their "dead name". FFS. I realize teenagers have identity issues, but wondered where they got the idea to be non-binary/trans.

I don't have kids, but might want one someday. Who knows what the climate will be like at that time. One thing I know for sure, is that I'm just going ro let them be a kid and explore their (age appropriate) interests without reverting to century old gender stereotypes. Maybe it's because I was a tomboy growing up and my parents were blaise about my hobbies/fashion as long as I did my homework...

It just seems so freeing to know that (at least in western countries like the US) you can just, you know, wear what you want. Have whatever hobbies or interests you want. Pursue a career that you like and are good at. There are some things like sports that are sex separated but that makes it fairer for everyone. Sure, people may tease or even insult you. Being a feminine guy who has an interest in makeup? I admit i'm not into very girly stuff so having a girl or boy like that would be harder to relate to. But, its not a bad thing. There are still people who despise you for that. But so what? It's not illegal. If I have a kid who isn't quite fitting with the steretypes of their sex but they're a good kid I'll teach them to be comfortable in their skin, not that they have to change their skin (and whole bodies) and find ways to deal with idiots.

You literally cannot opt out of the sex you were born as. But, it doesn't define your whole being alone (like enbies and other genderqueer identities seem to do). As long as you are capable of something, you enjoy it, and it's not harmful than imo your sex can't stop you from doing what you want.

 

[Am a tigoor]

I don't have kids, but might want one someday. Who knows what the climate will be like at that time. One thing I know for sure, is that I'm just going ro let them be a kid and explore their (age appropriate) interests without reverting to century old gender stereotypes. Maybe it's because I was a tomboy growing up and my parents were blaise about my hobbies/fashion as long as I did my homework...

It just seems so freeing to know that (at least in western countries like the US) you can just, you know, wear what you want. Have whatever hobbies or interests you want. Pursue a career that you like and are good at. There are some things like sports that are sex separated but that makes it fairer for everyone. Sure, people may tease or even insult you. Being a feminine guy who has an interest in makeup? I admit i'm not into very girly stuff so having a girl or boy like that would be harder to relate to. But, its not a bad thing. There are still people who despise you for that. But so what? It's not illegal. If I have a kid who isn't quite fitting with the steretypes of their sex but they're a good kid I'll teach them to be comfortable in their skin, not that they have to change their skin (and whole bodies) and find ways to deal with idiots.

You literally cannot opt out of the sex you were born as. But, it doesn't define your whole being alone (like enbies and other genderqueer identities seem to do). As long as you are capable of something, you enjoy it, and it's not harmful than imo your sex can't stop you from doing what you want.

I think it'd be important for anyone who has kids to really stress that you can like what you like, no matter if you're a boy or a girl. Things are just things. Also normal everyday people don't think or "feel" their gender anymore than they think about the number of toes they have. It sounds like blindingly obvious "no shit" stuff but apparently it's not anymore.

I wasn't even a tomboy growing up but I definitely had some eclectic interests. This meant I was running around in Hello Kitty clothes pretending I was in Lord of the Rings, or wrestling my dog pretending she was a crocodile and I was Steve Irwin, before taking a break to play with my Barbies. A boy stuff/girl stuff divide never really occurred to me, only stuff I like/stuff I don't like. I'm sure there are many similar children out there today that are given the idea they must be non binary for having the same ideas and interests as I did as a child.

 

[PissPool]

This is fucking wild
View attachment 3938547
"Your name doesn't fit. I smell an egg."
View attachment 3938577
Not like the other Sarahs.
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Gee. Could it be that in your 20s you were defining yourself based on your sexual attractiveness, and now you're 36 and your sexual experience in the world is changing?
View attachment 3938643View attachment 3938655
Never get fit, never improve.
View attachment 3938667
I think this person just wants to opt out of being female.

Getting older, especially as a woman, you have to readjust your view of yourself or you will start to feel this existential dread like this lady here. At 40, you aren’t going to be able to compete with a hot 22 year old. And dressing like one, or trying to look like one is silly. Instead, you need to strive for elegance and poise. At 22, you want to be trendy, sexy and show off with flashy styles. 40 year olds look best when they present an image of having successful adult lives and careers. It’s still beautiful and they still look good, just in a slightly differently way.

This can be hard for some women to accept because it requires you to admit you aren’t a young 20 something anymore. And most non-binary’s have this exact problem of wanting to hang on to an age bracket they no longer fit in to. I’m going through the same thing to some extent, but find I like the elegant style.

Examples of looking good at 40+:

 

[Fapcop]

Getting older, especially as a woman, you have to readjust your view of yourself or you will start to feel this existential dread like this lady here. At 40, you aren’t going to be able to compete with a hot 22 year old. And dressing like one, or trying to look like one is silly. Instead, you need to strive for elegance and poise. At 22, you want to be trendy, sexy and show off with flashy styles. 40 year olds look best when they present an image of having successful adult lives and careers. It’s still beautiful and they still look good, just in a slightly differently way.

Please spread the word to your fellow women, there’s nothing as sad, or unsexy, as a woman close to 40, or over, dressing like she’s 20.

Ironically a woman past forty who knows how to dress for her age stand a much better chance with a ten year younger guy than her friend in the miniskirt and crop top.

This can be hard for some women to accept because it requires you to admit you aren’t a young 20 something anymore. And most non-binary’s have this exact problem of wanting to hang on to an age bracket they no longer fit in to.

That androgynous look just looks utterly bizarre on someone past 25.

Fortunately enbies are like college lesbians. They all seem to grow out of it at that point.

 

[Coffee Druid]

There's a lot of talk about Ellen Page's trans arc. But I feel like non-binary actors are popping up too.

Emma D'Arcy (played older Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon) is one. I thought she was fine in that show, and she looks kind of pretty in an androgynous way. Older pics of her with long hair corroborate that. But I learned awhile back that she was non-binary because short hair=not a woman apparently. Anytime a Game of Thrones page posts a picture of her it's constant bickering back and forth and dogpiling clueless people who have the gall to say "she's" pretty.

I don't assume people's worth based on how ugly or attractive I find them. But to go from this

...to channeling Elliot Page, oversized suit and all...

Well, it just makes me wonder wth happened.

Second is Bella Ramsey (also played a character in a GoT show, but was just in The Last of Us.) Apparently she came out as nb recently and just...why? It's not a real thing to begin with imo but I'm just baffled. Especially because so many people flip on a dime and defend their new pronouns to the death. They still play female roles anyway. I hope it's not a new trend for actresses that aren't as feminine to feel pressured to, well, not be female.

 

[ZsaZsaBinks]

I have noticed a lot of effeminate gay men identifying as non-binary. In fact, it isn't uncommon for them to put he/they or they/them pronouns in their bios.

Considering that there are so many gay males who have peaked trans at this point I wonder if all these non-binary-identified femme gays will inspire more gay men to be masc4masc as masc gays are less likely to pull this shit off.

 

[Sissyagamben]

Enby is like being bisexual, when you’re too pussy to cross the line and fully say “I’m a faggot.” But instead of fucjing your same sex being NB gives you a low effort way out of being a female/male. I used to see both men and women NB being confused gender nonconforming people, now I just see them as failed adults that deserve to be neutered. If you are over the age of ~21 and still believe this shit you just announced to this world you completely failed as a human being and cannot live up to the simplest expectations and responsibilities of being in a society. Just simply completely meek pathetic and retarded, can’t even muster up the courage to be “fully trans.”

 

[kevlarmoose61]

I have noticed a lot of effeminate gay men identifying as non-binary. In fact, it isn't uncommon for them to put he/they or they/them pronouns in their bios.

Considering that there are so many gay males who have peaked trans at this point I wonder if all these non-binary-identified femme gays will inspire more gay men to be masc4masc as masc gays are less likely to pull this shit off.

He/They (if you're born male) functions literally to virtue signal, it shows what kind of values and communities you're aligned with. The men who do this know that absolutely no one (outside of twitter users who believe it is fundamentally transphobic to not switch between someone's multiple pronoun sets in a single sentence/paragraph) is going to refer to them as they. It indicates that you're a feminine gay/bisexual man or at least someone who wants to hang around with gay/bisexual men/transgender females (essentially, chasers and wokesters)

They/them (if you're born male) is either peak trans or sexual predator. Inb4 'what's the difference?'

He/They (if you're born female) is literally just a woman who's dissatisfied with being female because she can't even fully commit to the he/him or they/them bit. They almost always refer to themselves as 'he/him lesbians' or 'nonbinary lesbians' too, because they are quite literally women. A He/They transgender male who somehow doesn't call themselves a lesbian is probably an individual who transitioned because of yaoi or a desire to be an anime boy and not a man.

You are absolutely correct about gay men not doing this bullshit. That's the reason we have shit like 'bisexual lesbianism' now but not 'bisexual-homosexuality'.

 

[Am a tigoor]

There's a lot of talk about Ellen Page's trans arc. But I feel like non-binary actors are popping up too.

Emma D'Arcy (played older Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon) is one. I thought she was fine in that show, and she looks kind of pretty in an androgynous way. Older pics of her with long hair corroborate that. But I learned awhile back that she was non-binary because short hair=not a woman apparently. Anytime a Game of Thrones page posts a picture of her it's constant bickering back and forth and dogpiling clueless people who have the gall to say "she's" pretty.

I don't assume people's worth based on how ugly or attractive I find them. But to go from this
View attachment 4295431
...to channeling Elliot Page, oversized suit and all...
View attachment 4295436
Well, it just makes me wonder wth happened.

Second is Bella Ramsey (also played a character in a GoT show, but was just in The Last of Us.) Apparently she came out as nb recently and just...why? It's not a real thing to begin with imo but I'm just baffled. Especially because so many people flip on a dime and defend their new pronouns to the death. They still play female roles anyway. I hope it's not a new trend for actresses that aren't as feminine to feel pressured to, well, not be female.

wtf...a nice suit and leather gloves look great on men and women. Yet she's wearing one 20 sizes too big with a pair of nitrile gloves from a dentist's office. I now agree with whoever first said that non-binaries intentionally dress shitty. Because she could absolutely rock an Anne Lennox type of androgyny but chose this

 

[BeetleBug242]

What always pissed me off was people who use they/he they/she.
They them exists because you are neither right? So how does it even make any sense at all to be both but neither. My mind melts trying to think about how people justify it.
You aren't a man or a women but you are. That's what I think everytime I see it, I think you have an IQ level that makes me believe in eugenics.

I really can't stress enough how it makes my autistic mind turn to mush, how a concept and idea can be so fucking wormg, imporper, and at war with itself.

 

[Coffee Druid]

What always pissed me off was people who use they/he they/she.
They them exists because you are neither right? So how does it even make any sense at all to be both but neither. My mind melts trying to think about how people justify it.
You aren't a man or a women but you are. That's what I think everytime I see it, I think you have an IQ level that makes me believe in eugenics.

I really can't stress enough how it makes my autistic mind turn to mush, how a concept and idea can be so fucking wormg, imporper, and at war with itself.

There's also the stereotype that people who put she/they or he/they will still get pissed off if you use the pronoun of their biological sex. Like, if you didn't want people to use that don't put it in your bio. So they want people to equally use both or switch between them to appease you?

Another related thing to nonbinaries is genderfluid. It's gender stereotypes up to 11. You want to wear a skirt today and do some baking? I'm female today! You want to play vidya and dress in jeans and a t-shirt? Male! I do that too, it's called being a human with varied interests. It must be exhausting for friends and family as well, having to guess what you have to address you by constantly. To be fair, I've never come across someone who was genderfluid in real life, even tangentially. I DO know several "enbies" on the periphery of my social circles.

 

[Frogget-me-not]

What always pissed me off was people who use they/he they/she.
They them exists because you are neither right? So how does it even make any sense at all to be both but neither. My mind melts trying to think about how people justify it.
You aren't a man or a women but you are. That's what I think everytime I see it, I think you have an IQ level that makes me believe in eugenics.

I really can't stress enough how it makes my autistic mind turn to mush, how a concept and idea can be so fucking wormg, imporper, and at war with itself.

A she/they friend explained it to me like this: she didn’t want to commit to she because she was questioning her gender, but also didn’t want to “make a fuss”. Her queer and online circles can use “they”, and the rest of the world could use a sometimes (50/50) uncomfortable “she”. She admitted it’s a little quirky and it lets people know she’s queer without actually forcing people to use her pronouns.

Tl;dr — it’s used by doormats and indecisive people.

Last I heard she trooned out to a they/he, still standing in the middleground. Haven’t talked in a few years. Highly doubt she’s actually taking hormones given how wishy-washy her track record is.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

What always pissed me off was people who use they/he they/she.
They them exists because you are neither right? So how does it even make any sense at all to be both but neither. My mind melts trying to think about how people justify it.
You aren't a man or a women but you are. That's what I think everytime I see it, I think you have an IQ level that makes me believe in eugenics.

I really can't stress enough how it makes my autistic mind turn to mush, how a concept and idea can be so fucking wormg, imporper, and at war with itself.

Hard agree. I've even seen articles that alternate between the pronouns with every damn sentence/paragraph, like "he was assigned female at birth but identifies as non binary transmasculine and uses he/they pronouns. They have two cats and live in Portland" and without context, you wouldn't even know that those two sentences were about the same individual. It makes things needlessly confusing. And it gets even crazier - some of them have entire lists of neopronouns and expect you to use all of them, or change which one they prefer depending on mood. They're around - go far enough down the Tumblr/Twitter rabbit hole and you'll stumble upon one eventually.

Another thing about the non binaries I've never understood is how some of them want to be referred to as 'it'. Some consider it a way to "reclaim a slur" and "own the transphobes", others because their identity is "something other than human" therefore it's not dehumanising. I miss the days when none of this was trendy and saying such things would be met with laughter.

 

[MooseGump]

Someone I used to know around 2014 or before was this super competitive smashfag that liked to brag about being special, being good at whatever video game he played, and complained about not getting a gf so when I had enough of his shit I got rid of him from everything
Suddenly twitter recommended me this poor fool's account and found he went full enby and FFXIV is his current game to brag about being "good" at

Yes he is the type to post screenshots of epic moments in his own discord, of himself

I remember he was working toward an actual career, I think a teacher or some shit, but I guess all of that is dropped for an MMO now

 

[Inshallah Terven]

The nonbinary thing, particularly in how it appears in women, seems to be a form of Peter Pan syndrome. All the nb women are never trying to look like grown men, they are trying to look like twelve year old boys. They are afraid of their womanhood, because they do not want to grow up, and have children like a normal woman would.

 

[Flatline]

They are afraid of their womanhood, because they do not want to grow up, and have children like a normal woman would.

Or they've had negative interactions with men; if you can't beat 'em, become them.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

you can just, you know, wear what you want.

Us women can. Men not only can not, the box gets tighter and tighter for sane ones.

The nonbinary thing, particularly in how it appears in women, seems to be a form of Peter Pan syndrome. All the nb women are never trying to look like grown men, they are trying to look like twelve year old boys. They are afraid of their womanhood, because they do not want to grow up, and have children like a normal woman would.

They all read/write porn of 15 year old boys, do not forget that.

Or they've had negative interactions with men; if you can't beat 'em, become them.

Please stop saying this shit about degenerate women. It is porn and penis envy and "not like other girls". NOT "uwu wape twauma".

Fucking demeaning rhetoric.

 

[Fapcop]

Us women can. Men not only can not, the box gets tighter and tighter for sane ones.

They all read/write porn of 15 year old boys, do not forget that.

Please stop saying this shit about degenerate women. It is porn and penis envy and "not like other girls". NOT "uwu wape twauma".

Fucking demeaning rhetoric.

Tbf: Most enbies I’ve seen don’t seem to have a lot of experience with men.

Neither negative nor positive.

They’re basically like female incels before they come out: Just sit at home and cooom/consooome weird Fuji shit.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

What always pissed me off was people who use they/he they/she.
They them exists because you are neither right? So how does it even make any sense at all to be both but neither. My mind melts trying to think about how people justify it.
You aren't a man or a women but you are. That's what I think everytime I see it, I think you have an IQ level that makes me believe in eugenics.

I really can't stress enough how it makes my autistic mind turn to mush, how a concept and idea can be so fucking wormg, imporper, and at war with itself.

There's a whole hidden code and meanings with the pronouns and what they mean to the gender cultists.

Spoiler: Gender and Pronoun Sperging

Spoiler: Warning: Grade-A Autism Ahead

The gender cultists see pronouns as both a nickname and a fashion statement (one that is tied to their identity as a person) and they view gender as being a spectrum. In their minds, women is synonymous with feminine and man is synonymous to masculine and as much as they hate on conservatives, they share similar views on gender roles. That results in this (this spectrum chart is usually what the female ones mentally use):
"she/her" (absolute feminine) -> "she/they" (feminine with androgynous leanings) -> "they/she" (androgynous with feminine leanings) ->"they/them" (absolute androgynous) -> "they/he" (androgynous with masculine leanings) -> "he/they" (masculine with androgynous leanings) -> "he/him" (absolute masculine).
All in all, this is what happens when boring people who refuse to embrace their plainness try to be more interesting than they know how to be.