🎨 Artcow Norman Boutin - Author of "Empress Theresa"

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Empress Theresa: a novel about an 18 year old girl with power over the entire world.
Forget Hitler. Forget Napolean. Theresa is "the man" !
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So Theresa is a vicious dictator? Isn't this supposed to be the Mary-Sue ball of perfection? I've been reading his website but I cannot understand a single thing he is trying to explain.
 
Empress Theresa "I didn't do anything and people want me dead. It's wrong. Why do people do the wrong thing?" asks eighteen year old Theresa on live television before four billion viewers after the President of France says a thouand assassins will be after her.
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McRascal said:
So Theresa is a vicious dictator? Isn't this supposed to be the Mary-Sue ball of perfection? I've been reading his website but I cannot understand a single thing he is trying to explain.
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Theresa is an extreme case of Mary Sue. She's supposed to be some sort of perfect, beautiful, literally flawless person, that everyone loves and wants to be or be with, and this is before she's given god-powers by an alien. After she gets the powers every world leader (that Norman likes anyways) fully gets behind her. Everyone else is hopefully evil and tries to kill Theresa in the most over the top ways possible. If the cover-art is to be believed she is assassinated multiple times, nuked, and blackmailed (by OPEC of all organizations).

Because she's a Mary Sue all the attempts on her life fail of course and Theresa goes on to miraculously solve world hunger, invade North Korea, and send all Israelis out of Israel because the author doesn't understand the concept of countries or ancestral homelands and thinks wherever Israelis settle can simply become "Israel".

tl;dr: She's the anti-christ. She starts as a "normal" person, is given god powers, unites the world, pushes Jews out of their lands, everyone that's against her is deemed lost and evil, all the while being supposedly in direct contact with God himself.
 
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EleSigma said:
Theresa is an extreme case of Mary Sue. She's supposed to be some sort of perfect, beautiful, literally flawless person, that everyone loves and wants to be or be with, and this is before she's given god-powers by an alien. After she gets the powers every world leader (that Norman likes anyways) fully gets behind her. Everyone else is hopefully evil and tries to kill Theresa in the most over the top ways possible. If the cover-art is to be believed she is assassinated multiple times, nuked, and blackmailed (by OPEC of all organizations).

Because she's a Mary Sue all the attempts on her life fail of course and Theresa goes on to miraculously solve world hunger, invade North Korea, and send all Israelis out of Israel because the author doesn't understand the concept of countries or ancestral homelands and thinks wherever Israelis settle can simply become "Israel".

tl;dr: She's the anti-christ. She starts as a "normal" person, is given god powers, unites the world, pushes Jews out of their lands, everyone that's against her is deemed lost and evil, all the while being supposedly in direct contact with God himself.
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So basically a female Light from Death Note but with the Jesus power instead of a notebook?
 
Petronella said:
He's Catholic and he writes about a ten year old in skimpy clothing.
I'm not even gonna touch that one.
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Yea its not like Catholicism ever had a scandal involving undressed children or anything.
 
That is some of the most bland and unflavored prose I have ever seen in my entire life. For fuck's sake, it's like an alien or crude artificial intelligence (possibly both) was given the bible and some bad fanfiction, and then told to construct something out of the ideas it could find, but because of how shitty the entire setup is, something worse than the sum of its' parts came out.

Protip: If you're writing in first person, you damn better be able to describe your character not only damn well, but also with enough variety to keep it interesting. You also might want to make their thoughts and opinions obvious, as the entire story is more or less being perceived through their eyes.

I see no such attempts being made in this. Not only is the main character of this... this crime against literature a mary-sue, but they're completely and utterly soulless. I don't even sense the author's opinion inside them, just an endless void akin to a nonentity.
 
I'm reading his stupidity that he is spewing on that Jewish forum:

1) He claims Theresa won't kill anyone, yet her actions likely kill countless people, judging by the whole Israeli relocation BS in his story... Such contradictions and lies - the Jewish people would never abandon their homeland and would fight to the end to preserve and defend it, like anybody who actually cares about their nation they call home would (I know people will tell me people from third world nations flee from such BS everyday, aiming for better lives, but still...).

2) He thinks anyone clearly calling him out on his BS is just some children mocking him. Too bad these "children" seem to have some strong knowledge of Israel and why the people's land and their reason to defend it is held to such high regard to a majority of that nation's citizens (as passed down from generation to generation!). Thankfully, out of a board claiming to have 5,000+ or less people on it, it only took 2 - 3 to put him in his place like the clearly obvious anti-Semitic idiot that he is!

3) Yeah, unless this is some third world nation where fleeing somewhere better leads to something of higher note we're talking about here, no majority is that cowardly, as this author thinks it is - that's especially true if we are talking about Israel (and I am in no way well read on Israel, its people, its history, or its problems, as much as I should be!).

4) THIS comment I just randomly found resonates with my opinion quite immensely. I had to post it here, just because:

Perhaps if everyone is in agreement (something that is almost unheard of around here), it would behoove you to take the position seriously and acknowledge that many Jews, feel this way, instead of just scoffing and rolling your eyes at us...

So much of the trouble in the Middle East today comes from outsiders without an INKLING of how the people who are actually INVOLVED and LIVE here think and feel, attempt to impose completely unfeasible solutions on us based on THEIR understanding of the situation and THEIR very different values system. Perhaps if people would take the time to actually LISTEN to and LEARN from the people on both sides of the conflict before they open their mouths and present "solutions" some progress would be made. Or at the very least a lot of unnecessary frustration could be avoided and valuable time and resources put to better use.

It never ceases to amaze me how people have the chutzpa and stupidity to involve themselves in a situation without even bothering to understand what is at stake here and the background to the conflict. This is not merely a property dispute, it runs far far deeper than that, and anyone who doesn't acknowledge this is patronizing both sides and has no business mixing in...

You presumably came here to ASK a question and maybe learn something. Instead you just hang on to your preconceived notions and completely reject everything that is being said here, by people who reflect the beliefs and feelings of a significant portion of the Jewish People. Why bother asking a question if you aren't prepared to hear the answer??? And why pretend to want to learn about the situation so that you can make your story more factually and culturally accurate if you have no intention whatsoever of doing so?
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5) This second comment I just randomly found resonates with me as well (and further hammers home this author's stupidity!) - It recommends some nice stories / historics on the Jews and their ties to the Holy Land and why they defend it so fiercely. Something our autist artist seems to JUST. NOT. GET.
Read up on things like the story of Massadah, or read some of the stuff in the book of Eicha. Read Josephus. Read psalms about how Jews wept in exile dreaming only of returning to their holy land- because regardless of how nice and comfortable the exile, it is not the Holy Land.

There are loads of other printed materials going well back in time about how Eretz Yisrael is more than just a parcel of real estate- it is where the heavens meet the earth and it is the inheritance of the sons of Israel for all time.

I picked up and moved here from exile (as did many other's on the board) and would choose to stay and fight believing that I have God on my side rather than flee to nicer real estate.

I am not the only person who feels this way. Mothers across the country send their children out to fight and protect the land knowing they might never come back. Knowing they may be captured or killed- read the story of Gilad Shalit, he signed up to do his tour of duty and his was kidnapped. His parents have spent the last number of years trying to get information from the other side about their son.

There was the groom who went back to battle the morning after his wedding only to be seriously injured. The woman who was 7 months pregnant who insisted she still wanted to serve. People who move here often fight to get IN to the army if they do not meet the physical requirements because they want to do their part to protect the Jewish home land.

Please God there should be no more need, but if there still is I fully expect my children to do their duty and protect the homeland however terrified it leaves me at home.

There are many many many people who would rather die than relocate to anywhere outside these borders. I am one of them. My husband is another. Most of my friends and neighbours are 3rd 4th and 5th. Some of them have been here long enough to remember sending their children off to school with Gas masks. Putting babies into gas protection tents. No superwoman wannabe is going to get us to move.
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6) I'm getting worked like this all over a Mary Sue. Silly fucking me! The subject should have died after that realization right there - too bad he done went and insulted the wrong people on his downtime...
 
I can care less about this guys dumb story, I waiting for Norman's sockpuppet army to swarm this thread

:popcorn:
 
Norman "Humbert" Boutin said:
"A girl as fine as Theresa can be found in any high school. You know one."
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Is he implying that I know a girl as fine as Theresa or that I just know a high school?
 
Golly said:
Is he implying that I know a girl as fine as Theresa or that I just know a high school?
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Is he trying to imply that we are all sixtysomething men ogling high school girls, so it's awwright?
 
Henry Bemis said:
Is he trying to imply that we are all sixtysomething men ogling high school girls, so it's awwright?
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Yes, I'm quite sure that everyone knows a fine underage girl who is perfect in every way and manner. He also seems to think that everyone stalks high schools to stare at these aforementioned fine underage girls.

It astonishes me how delusional this guy is.
 
The whole '19 years' thing really bothers me. I just want to think that the idea entered his mind years ago but he didn't write/type it out until 17 or 18 years in, so the '19 years' thing is to just make it sound big and really awesome. I refuse to believe this guy spend hours a day trying to write this for almost two decades.

But I love shitty stories. I'm gonna sit next to the fireplace and take a read at the sample chapters.
 
Ultimate Grisby said:
The whole '19 years' thing really bothers me. I just want to think that the idea entered his mind years ago but he didn't write/type it out until 17 or 18 years in, so the '19 years' thing is to just make it sound big and really awesome. I refuse to believe this guy spend hours a day trying to write this for almost two decades.

But I love shitty stories. I'm gonna sit next to the fireplace and take a read at the sample chapters.
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Apparently he's made edits to the story over the years to update the pop-cultural references and references to books like "The Hunger Games". I don't think he has any shred of original idea in the story.
 
EleSigma said:
Apparently he's made edits to the story over the years to update the pop-cultural references and references to books like "The Hunger Games". I don't think he has any shred of original idea in the story.
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Well. I can handle reading shit to get a laugh or two out of it - but this is starting to sound like way too much.
 
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