NYC Posts Job Seeking Rat Czar To Tame City's Rodent Problem



The administration of New York City Mayor Eric Adams has listed a new job for a rat czar to tame the infamous rodent problem in the Big Apple.

The posting, which was made Wednesday, is officially seeking a "director of rodent migration" who will work to advance the city's efforts to address policy matters in the five boroughs related to curbing the recent increase of rats during the COVID-19 pandemic.



"Do you have what it takes to do the impossible? A virulent vehemence for vermin? A background in urban planning, project management or government? And most importantly, the drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy -- New York City's relentless rat population?" the posting reads.

"If so, your dream job awaits: New York's Citywide Director of Rodent Migration."

The tongue-in-cheek posting adds that "rats are not our friend" and are "enemies that must be vanquished."

The role - with an expected pay range between $120,000 and $170,000 -- reports to the deputy mayor for operations and successful candidates are required to be a New York City resident with a bachelor's degree, at least five years of relevant experience and a "swashbuckling attitude, crafty humor and general aura of badassery."



The job posting comes as New Yorkers have increasingly complained about rats.

Data published by the city in July shows that 7,4000 calls about rat sightings were made in the first four months of 2022 alone - an increase of 60% from the same period in 2019. There are 25,000 rat sightings reported to the city in 2021.

In July, a group of New York residents filed a lawsuit seeking an end to the outdoor dining shacks built in the pandemic they say has led to a boom in rats. The eight-page lawsuit, obtained by UPI, was filed against New York State and New York City in the state's Supreme Court.

The residents said the Temporary Outdoor Restaurant program implemented in June 2020 at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic has led to "increased and excessive noise, traffic congestion, garbage and uncontrolled rodent populations and the blocking of sidewalks and roadways."

The lawsuit was filed after the New York City Council in February passed legislation to form a permanent program to keep outdoor dining, which had been created as a temporary solution to help restaurants struggling because of lockdown restrictions.

Since those lockdown restrictions have long since been lifted, the New Yorkers said that the city is "abusing its authority" to continue allowing the dining shacks -- many of which have fallen into various states of disrepair.



"Pre-pandemic, I enjoyed my neighborhood's charm, clean and quaint tree-lined streets, parks, and peacefully working in my garden," Brooklyn resident Angela Bilotti said in her affidavit filed with the lawsuit.

"The sheds filling the streets have become nesting grounds for rats. Litter lines the streets as rats tear open the piles of trash left beside the sheds. Storm water collects at the shed walls becoming mosquito breeding grounds, and the stench is horrendous."
 
"Do you have what it takes to do the impossible? A virulent vehemence for vermin? A background in urban planning, project management or government? And most importantly, the drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy -- New York City's relentless Jew population?" the posting reads.
FTFY.
Heil do it.

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A literal rat king job. :story:
does anyone know what started the trend of naming HNIC political positions "czar"?
Like, I know Doonesbury was making fun of the trend in the mid 1970's but I have no idea where that came from.
It's just a hunch so I'm most likely wrong, but I'm going to guess communism is involved somehow.
 
virulent vehemence for vermin
Wait… is that…? No, it can’t be, all the talented punning Sub- Eds were killed during the Great Woke Purges, surely?
Rat problems are very simple: your city is dirty. Clean it up, and they will die. Rats are a symptom of the general decline in civic standards. If youve got great big piles of trash in the street, you’ve got rats. And rats now are resistant to poisons that killed them ten years ago. You can’t poison or trap your way out, you have to clean up.
People get very vocal about broken windows policing, stop and search and litter laws, but if you’re living cheek by jowl in a hive of millions, you have to do that.
Take away the food, and the rats will starve. That means no more on street litter, no rat-vulnerable litter bags in piles. It means you need hard trash cans and daily pickup, and you need to stop people being filthy.
Chances of NY doing this? They did in the nineties
 
virulent vehemence for vermin
Wait… is that…? No, it can’t be, all the talented punning Sub- Eds were killed during the Great Woke Purges, surely?
Rat problems are very simple: your city is dirty. Clean it up, and they will die. Rats are a symptom of the general decline in civic standards. If youve got great big piles of trash in the street, you’ve got rats. And rats now are resistant to poisons that killed them ten years ago. You can’t poison or trap your way out, you have to clean up.
People get very vocal about broken windows policing, stop and search and litter laws, but if you’re living cheek by jowl in a hive of millions, you have to do that.
Take away the food, and the rats will starve. That means no more on street litter, no rat-vulnerable litter bags in piles. It means you need hard trash cans and daily pickup, and you need to stop people being filthy.
Chances of NY doing this? They did in the nineties
NYC won't do it because they'd have to admit Giuliani had the right idea as mayor and that'd have some unfortunate implications for what happened after he left.
 
virulent vehemence for vermin
Wait… is that…? No, it can’t be, all the talented punning Sub- Eds were killed during the Great Woke Purges, surely?
Rat problems are very simple: your city is dirty. Clean it up, and they will die. Rats are a symptom of the general decline in civic standards. If youve got great big piles of trash in the street, you’ve got rats. And rats now are resistant to poisons that killed them ten years ago. You can’t poison or trap your way out, you have to clean up.
People get very vocal about broken windows policing, stop and search and litter laws, but if you’re living cheek by jowl in a hive of millions, you have to do that.
Take away the food, and the rats will starve. That means no more on street litter, no rat-vulnerable litter bags in piles. It means you need hard trash cans and daily pickup, and you need to stop people being filthy.
Chances of NY doing this? They did in the nineties
There's the obvious joke of "just hit rats with a bat and kill them" but NY rats are the size of fucking dogs and there are millions of them. They have gigantic nests and warrens that would take a group of people armed with flamethrowers to clear out.

I sincerely believe that if you try and starve out the rats (via cleaning up/securing trash cans) they would just start attacking/preying on other small animals instead (Pigeons, cats, small dogs, and small children) instead of dying out and god only knows what kind of evolutionary nonsense some of these rats have been developing over ~30 years.
 
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