Prison Letters Oct 25 2021 - Chris writes letter about a doll

[Spooky Bones]

They didn't even get that right?

Fucks sake, they could have asked him literally anything and they picked this.

Strike that, I got confused by the sans-serif font.

The text is, in a more sensible font:

إيان براندون أندرسون

Which in Arabic would sound some thing like "ay-ahn bran-doon ann-door-sun", close enough.

 

[Reverend]

Strike that, I got confused by the sans-serif font.

The text is, in a more sensible font:

إيان براندون أندرسون

Which in Arabic would sound some thing like "ay-ahn bran-doon ann-door-sun", close enough.

I can only imagine Chris sounding like ET when attempting to pronounce those words.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Vehemently denying he had sex with a plush doll, but has no problem letting the world know he raped his elderly mother. Priorities, people.

 

[Sharkbait]

I wonder if all those weens trying to convert to Chris to Islam are on some sort of watch list by now.

 

[Optimus Prime]

To be fair this is probably the most direct social interaction Chris has had in years.

 

[NynchLiggers]

Is the persian thing just a attempt at looking "exotic" to Chris making it more likely for the letter to catch his attention? Damn weens.

 

[Thumb Butler]

"God of all, including you"

Such modesty. We are not worthy.

 

[Almighty MoeBro Nation]

Vehemently denying he had sex with a plush doll, but has no problem letting the world know he raped his elderly mother. Priorities, people.

The plushie thing is probably just another ween rumor but 2021 has taught me that Chris will fuck literally anything so I wouldn't put it past him

 

[Aeon Path]

Another snoozefest of a letter by some boring-ass ween.

Transcript if anyone's interested:

Spoiler: Page 1

Hey, [REDACTED], to answer your question, and you may share it online if you wish, the Luan Loud plush as well as ALL of my plushes throughout my present, inmortal live, have never ever been cut out at all, nor have any of them at all been violated, defaced or sexually abused at all. There has been no discourse, the Luna Loud plush was, literally, a Gift from another one of my kind followers, because they saw a similarity in the humor aspect between I and her. I have my Morals, specially... ->

Spoiler: Page 2

...being the full reincarnation of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, God of all, including you.

Regardless, I appreciate your blessing and prayer in Arabic; I have an open mind for all religions and spiritualities as I am multi-faceted. Thank you, kindly.

I offer you a direct blessing in return, [REDACTED]. Visually, I draw it in my neo spirituality/ (updated) Christianity symbol, but its main manifestation is in the form of a small share of my own Aura and Vibrations.

Go forth with peace and clarify by my Power and Glory as God.
Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu

 

[Twinkletard]

Vehemently denying he had sex with a plush doll, but has no problem letting the world know he raped his elderly mother. Priorities, people.

Even Chris has standards

 

[KaiserC]

"Wanna join Islam?"
"Have you fucked a doll?"

It takes effort to be the lamest part of an OPL interaction.

 

[Uncle Meat]

These letters are all the same. Wasn't there a containment thread for ween letters?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

These letters are just getting sad now, I can understand writing Chris to ask him a genuine question (don't condone it but I can understand it) but these letters are just unfunny and are getting fucking stupid.

 

[Low IQ Doctor]

I wonder if all those weens trying to convert to Chris to Islam are on some sort of watch list by now.

If news of Chris converting to Islam got back to the Taliban, would they be so enraged that they do a 9/11 but bigger? Or, would they be so repulsed that they reject God and become atheists?

 

[Interchanger]

Well the actual content of the letter the ween sent was more or less harmless, if boring. Chris of course answers in the usual way;

"I wouldn't fuck a plushy I have morals being Jesus and all."

 

[Least Concern]

Pretty fucking boring. If you're going to be a faggot and write to him at least be useful and try to get some info on his schedule and interactions with other prisoners

This guy had the chance to write a letter to Chris asking him about ANYTHING relating to his jail life, to the merge or even about his new found Islamic belief...and yet chose to ask about some random ass Loud House doll.


Fucking weens man.

I know, right? Chris's answers would probably still be chock full of delusions, but at least he'd be talking about shit that actually mattered, not whether he was masturbating with a plush doll of a character from some cartoon that nobody ever watched.

Not gonna lie, this letter has made me kinda MatI.

 

[Male Idiot]

The plush isn't wrinkly and demented enough for bent duck to get up.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

I still believe that Chris is trying to promote an insanity defense (or at least, to position himself for that argument in a plea deal) with these letters. The fact that he wants every letter to be posted online sounds to me like he's saying "look how crazy I am, I hope the prosecutors and the public sees this and goes easy on me." Chris had some wonky beliefs but the Jesus shit didn't show up until Heilberg came into the picture with his insanity defense arguments.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

If anyone lurking here works in the prison it would be super funny if you were to document the names and addresses of the people sending stupid letters to Chris. Not a trolling plan, I just think it would be funny.

 

[Interchanger]

I still believe that Chris is trying to promote an insanity defense (or at least, to position himself for that argument in a plea deal) with these letters. The fact that he wants every letter to be posted online sounds to me like he's saying "look how crazy I am, I hope the prosecutors and the public sees this and goes easy on me." Chris had some wonky beliefs but the Jesus shit didn't show up until Heilberg came into the picture with his insanity defense arguments.

It is possible - however it could be the Bible is the only thing he can latch onto now that his Vidya games and ponies are no where to be found.

If your right however it means the weens are helping Chris potentially get a lighter sentence.