Most lesbians don't live completely man-free lives because it's kind of impossible thanks to having families. Not everyone grows up in a family that is happy and gets along.
If you're a lesbian, chances are you have at least a few repulsive moid relatives and acquaintances who fucking hate you for not fitting into what they think a woman should be like.
I know this means less than nothing coming from a random on KF, but I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your brother, and I hope you're doing at least a bit better now. Everything hurts worse when it's coming from someone who--ideally--should be supporting and understanding of you. Family members also tend to be harder to "get rid of" than shitty male friends or acquaintances.
I'll admit that I've definitely been more fortunate than most lesbians are, since I've spent my life completely estranged from almost all of my family (grandparents, cousins, uncles, etc). I also don't have any siblings, and stopped living with my father after I was about 13 or 14 ... so, almost a man-free life if we exclude colleagues. My parents have the vague expectation that I'll end up with a man "eventually", but that's about as far as they go. My strat for now is to just let them believe it I guess? Whenever my mother offhandedly mentions husbands I just brush it off and change the subject lol.
Sometimes I come across idyllic stories on the interwebs of married lesbians living by themselves and working for themselves, often in some kind of position that lets them work remotely most of the time (i.e. no annoying male bosses or coworkers). This--for me--is the dream.
I think most lesbians have tried dick before and found it to be extremely disappointing and unpleasant. I am surprised that the men didn’t think of that.
You mean, you're surprised men didn't stop thinking of their cocks as The Best Thing Ever/a magic wand that can turn lesbians straight? You're putting a lot of faith in the menfolk with that one.
Whether "most" lesbians have been with men, I'm not 100% sure. It definitely varies by region and by age, and it also depends on the parents you get stuck with. I would not say that women need to actually have sex with a man to find out that they're not attracted to men, but some might do it in the hope that they
will magically end up enjoying it. Some women marry men because of family pressure, or because it was the best/the only financial option. (Remember that women weren't always able to have property or accounts in their name--not to speak of pay gaps and lack of employment opportunities.)
But I think younger lesbians aren't running into these problems as often anymore. They're less likely to be raised by staunchly religious or conservative parents, for one, and there seems to be less focus on marriage and having children than there used to be. It's become more acceptable and even expected (in certain cases) for a woman to hold off on marriage to receive higher education and start a career, which also means not as many women are rushing into sex and relationships with people they don't love.
