- Joined
- Jun 1, 2024
- Highlight
- #22,221
We Can't Consent to This is a UK-based campaign that aims to raise awareness of and abolish the "rough sex" defense, which refers cases of femicide that are seen as "the result of sexual practices the victim consented to", often providing killers with a legal loophole to face lesser charges than homicide.
The group was founded in 2018 following the brutal murder of a woman by millionaire John Broadhurst. He inflicted 40 separate injuries, including "dreadful blunt-force to her head, buttocks and breast before spraying her face with bleach to clean off the blood". Despite claiming it was a consensual "sex game gone wrong", he did nothing to help her while she was bleeding and intoxicated, leaving her to die. He received only 3 years and 8 months for manslaughter, and he was released after 22 months.
More cases like this have been documented and can be found on their website. Here, I will share some examples.
Nearly 40% of women under 40 have been violently assaulted by men during sex, which is very often in the context of a wider pattern of control and abuse. Of the women who reported experiencing non-consensual violence during sex and detailed further abuse from the same man:
Thanks to their activism, the UK hailed an amendment to the Domestic Abuse Bill as the end of the “rough sex" defense in 2020. The new legislation states "consent can never justify grievous or actual bodily harm, even if it was perpetrated for the purposes of sexual gratification." Can you guess who had a problem with this necessary development? BDSMfags who think their inability to coom without beating women is a more pressing issue than women getting brutally slaughtered by men that use violent sex as an excuse. Their entire lifestyle revolves around serving abusive men's interests and reframing it as "empowering" for women, so I am not particularly surprised.
Obviously, most of these victims certainly never consented to violent acts during sex but even if there are some who were mentally ill, traumatized or brainwashed enough to do so, it still does not justify a man abusing and killing her. If a suicidal person comes up to you and asks you to murder them, I think the majority of people will agree only a psychopath would agree to it yet they cannot see how the same should apply to sexual contexts.
The group was founded in 2018 following the brutal murder of a woman by millionaire John Broadhurst. He inflicted 40 separate injuries, including "dreadful blunt-force to her head, buttocks and breast before spraying her face with bleach to clean off the blood". Despite claiming it was a consensual "sex game gone wrong", he did nothing to help her while she was bleeding and intoxicated, leaving her to die. He received only 3 years and 8 months for manslaughter, and he was released after 22 months.
More cases like this have been documented and can be found on their website. Here, I will share some examples.
- The earliest documented "rough sex" defense: Peter Drinkwater killed a woman in 1972, injecting her with anesthetics as a part of “painful erotic practices”, which he photographed as she lay dying. At first, he claimed she killed herself. He had previous convictions, his ex-wife divorced him due to violent assaults and the victim was planning to leave him. He was cleared of homicide and sentenced for manslaughter.
- Dawid Lukasz Mietus killed his girlfriend and claimed it was a result of "erotic asphyxiation". He eventually admitted that this was a lie and he murdered her. The police had been called to the house several times in their short relationship, and he attacked her in jealousy over previous partners.
- Ashley Foster, 24, killed a 17 year old girl hours after meeting her. He claimed that she asked him to strangle her and died accidentally in a "sex game gone wrong". After the murder, he hid the body in a cupboard, and searched online for snuff films and violent pornography.
- Frazer Neil killed a 21 year old woman and claimed strangling her to death after sexual assault was a "Fifty Shades of Grey sex game wrong". His motivation was discovered to be his inability to accept her ending the relationship and finding another partner.
- Warren Lyttle initially claimed that his wife had died in a sadomasochistic "sex game gone wrong". He later admitted to strangling her with a phone cable. Their daughter gave evidence in court that her mother had been a victim of violence and threats from her father.
- Edward Tenniswood, 52, approached a 20 year old drunk woman walking alone, took her to his house and killed her. He claimed she died accidentally because of "his overeagerness to please her during a consensual kinky sex session". He was arrested for another rape 11 days before committing murder.
- Tomasz Kocik claimed he found his girlfriend dead at their flat after days of "amphetamine fuelled bondage sex sessions". She was severely beaten before her death, and he dumped her body in a suitcase in the Regent's Canal.
- Marcus Coates killed a woman and left her body to be found days later. He claimed she asked him to "put the belt around her neck and pulled it tight during sexual activity". He had previously been jailed for 5 years for the sexual assault of a woman in front of her child, having slashed the woman with a knife.
- Michael Roberts claimed he accidentally killed his wife during a "kinky sex game gone wrong" when he applied too much pressure to her neck with a dressing gown cord. She had found out that he’d been cheating on her, and given him a deadline which fell on the weekend he killed her.
- Steve Wright, 49, killed a 24 year old mother of 3 who spiralled into prostitution and homelessness because of drug addiction. He claimed she died in a "masochistic sex game", which was discredited by forensic evidence. He was sentenced for the murder of 5 women.
Nearly 40% of women under 40 have been violently assaulted by men during sex, which is very often in the context of a wider pattern of control and abuse. Of the women who reported experiencing non-consensual violence during sex and detailed further abuse from the same man:
- 75% said he had been abusive in other ways (controlling, possessive, emotionally or physically abusive).
- 46% said he had done it before; 33% said it happened regularly.
- 41% said he had raped or sexually assaulted her in other ways.
- 64% said he used sex as a way to control her (by shaming or guilt-tripping her into doing particular things).
- 28% said he had taken sexual images or videos of her and threatened to share them.
- Up to 10% of the population have experienced strangulation. This rises to over 50% of women subject to routine domestic abuse, and up to 20% of women who have been sexually assaulted.
- Strangulation is an overwhelmingly gendered crime: in a review of 300 forensic records in San Diego, 298 involved a man strangling a woman.
- If a woman has been strangled, the chance of her subsequently being murdered rises eightfold.
- Neck structures are alarmingly fragile: blocking the jugular vein can take less pressure than opening a can of Coke.
- Consciousness can be lost within as little as 4 seconds of arterial pressure. Losing consciousness indicates at the very least a mild brain injury.
- It is thought strangulation might be the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40.
Thanks to their activism, the UK hailed an amendment to the Domestic Abuse Bill as the end of the “rough sex" defense in 2020. The new legislation states "consent can never justify grievous or actual bodily harm, even if it was perpetrated for the purposes of sexual gratification." Can you guess who had a problem with this necessary development? BDSMfags who think their inability to coom without beating women is a more pressing issue than women getting brutally slaughtered by men that use violent sex as an excuse. Their entire lifestyle revolves around serving abusive men's interests and reframing it as "empowering" for women, so I am not particularly surprised.
Obviously, most of these victims certainly never consented to violent acts during sex but even if there are some who were mentally ill, traumatized or brainwashed enough to do so, it still does not justify a man abusing and killing her. If a suicidal person comes up to you and asks you to murder them, I think the majority of people will agree only a psychopath would agree to it yet they cannot see how the same should apply to sexual contexts.