better yet make divorce financially ruinous for women.
It is.
Women’s household income falls by an average of 41% following a divorce, while men’s household income falls by only 23%.
if the default of divorce didn't include forced financial exchange and custody of children was joint-custody by default or even if it was just as common for men to get custody as it is for women then men would be less hesitant to take the risk.
Most courts seek shared parenting time, whether or not it's enshrined in law as a rebuttable presumption. And:
On average, a typical divorced dad living in a red state will see his child 400 fewer hours each year than a blue-state dad and 700 fewer hours than a purple-state dad. Divorced dads in purple states receive an average of 40.2% of custody time as standard ― or about 3,500 hours. Blue-state dads receive about 3,200 hours (36.6%), while red-state dads only get about 2,800 hours in a typical parenting arrangement (32.1%).
In 20 states the usual division of parenting time is 50-50 (percentages in the table are average dad-time):
| Rank | State | Pct |
| # 1 | Alaska | 50% |
| # 1 | Arizona | 50% |
| # 1 | Colorado | 50% |
| # 1 | Connecticut | 50% |
| # 1 | Delaware | 50% |
| # 1 | Florida | 50% |
| # 1 | Kentucky | 50% |
| # 1 | Maine | 50% |
| # 1 | Massachusetts | 50% |
| # 1 | Minnesota | 50% |
| # 1 | Missouri | 50% |
| # 1 | Nevada | 50% |
| # 1 | New Hampshire | 50% |
| # 1 | New Jersey | 50% |
| # 1 | New Mexico | 50% |
| # 1 | North Dakota | 50% |
| # 1 | Vermont | 50% |
| # 1 | Virginia | 50% |
| # 1 | West Virginia | 50% |
| # 1 | Wisconsin | 50% |
| # 21 | Alabama | 33.7% |
| # 22 | Texas | 33% |
| # 23 | Nebraska | 32.9% |
| # 24 | California | 32.8% |
| # 25 | Hawaii | 31% |
| # 26 | New York | 30.4% |
| # 27 | Indiana | 28.8% |
| # 28 | Oregon | 28.7% |
| # 29 | Wyoming | 28.6% |
| # 30 | Iowa | 28.3% |
| # 31 | Pennsylvania | 28.8% |
| # 32 | Arkansas | 28.1% |
| # 33 | North Carolina | 27.9% |
| # 34 | South Carolina | 27.8% |
| # 35 | Michigan | 27.1% |
| # 36 | Kansas | 26.4% |
| # 37 | Utah | 26.2% |
| # 38 | Maryland | 26.1% |
| # 39 | Montana | 26% |
| # 40 | Louisiana | 25.4% |
| # 41 | Idaho | 24.1% |
| # 42 | Rhode Island | 24% |
| # 43 | Washington | 23.8% |
| # 44 | Ohio | 23.7% |
| # 45 | South Dakota | 23.6% |
| # 46 | Georgia | 23.5% |
| # 47 | Illinois | 23.1% |
| # 48 | Mississippi | 23% |
| # 49 | Oklahoma | 22.4% |
| # 50 | Tennessee | 21.8% |
https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/dads-custody-time-2018.php (note the table above is based on that company's info, so the sample is
not all divorces with children).
Also note that "time with kids" and "custody" are different terms. You can have "joint custody" without having equal parenting time, and vice-versa. Both physical and legal custody being joint have been the preferred direction by many courts for decades, and those numbers continue to increase.
You've honestly convinced me that we really would be better off with less women in the workforce.
I'm not very sympathetic to bankers or middle managers.
Lawyers, accountants, customer service, nurses, teachers? (I left out childcare workers, bc with women at home, daycare and after-school programs can go hang, right?). Don't need to defend or assert your rights, do your taxes, keep books for your business, have a commercial complaint or question, get in to see a doc, have an operation, or send your kids to school outside your home, because you wouldn't be able to do so. And tell me about the ability to get a medical appointment without medical assistants, administrators, or coding pros. And never need eldercare, because no one will be there for you.
But tell me about this deckhand-to-PA or accountant pipeline.
(And don't confuse commercial bankers with ibankers or supposed banking fat-cats. Commercial bankers are the people getting you your home, auto, and equipment loans, not the ones doing deals that individually impact industries or wreck companies. Yes, predatory lending and lack of transparency/disadvantage to consumers happens from commercial bankers, too, but when you gut compliance, legal, and risk (heavily women-populated), you - individually and as a class/consumer will be harmed. You think it's bad now? Without those functions, not only would consumers be raped, but solid banks would go out of business. Because sales and ops people have neither the knowledge nor the taste for prudence or fairness or transparency. It's a different set of wires altogether.)
