Official Left Behind Hate Thread - Absolute Schofield HERESY

[AnsemSoD1]

Discuss your problems with this piece of shit """Christianized""" Harry Potter knockoff series, whether they be personal or theological.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

There was a Left Behind RTS game. I know nothing else

 

[Eventide]

Hot take:

The recent remake with Nicolas Cage & that dude from One Tree Hill sorta slaps, in a cheesy "made for tv" kinda way.

The books, though? Awful. It felt like Stephen King's "The Stand" fanfiction, if written by a squeamish Sunday school teacher. The only character in the series that was marginally likable was Chloe's asshole corporate executive Dad, who was clearly written as a bad guy.

 

[AnsemSoD1]

Hot take:

The recent remake with Nicolas Cage & that dude from One Tree Hill sorta slaps, in a cheesy "made for tv" kinda way.

The books, though? Awful. It felt like Stephen King's "The Stand" fanfiction, if written by a squeamish Sunday school teacher. The only character in the series that was marginally likable was Chloe's asshole corporate executive Dad, who was clearly written as a bad guy.

Her dad was infidel Rayford though, you must be confusing him with some other character.

 

[David Brown]

My white trash buddy in high school loved those novels. I don't think he ever read any other books in his life, but he read every one of them our school library had. He owns his own little auto shop now and I'm pretty sure he is in constant custody fights with his retarded white trash baby mama(s?)

I never touched the books myself.

 

[AnsemSoD1]

I think that the perfect way to troll the remaining boomer fans, would be to write a Catholic rewrite of the books, lining up more with legitimate Catholic Theology, so no Isreal worship. Your thoughts @Local Farmer and @Preacher ✝?

 

[Eventide]

Her dad was infidel Rayford though, you must be confusing him with some other character.

I'm an idiot. I mistook him for the Anti-Christ character, Carpathia. That's who I'm thinking of. He was the only character who wasn't braindead. Also, for like, reborn Satan, he wasn't that evil/treated his followers well (if anything, better than Jesus treated the post-left behind Christians).

 

[AnsemSoD1]

I'm an idiot. I mistook him for the Anti-Christ character, Carpathia. That's who I'm thinking of. He was the only character who wasn't braindead. Also, for like, reborn Satan, he wasn't that evil/treated his followers well (if anything, better than Jesus treated the post-left behind Christians).

I thought that the writers made a wierd disuse of actual Biblical demonology and shit, it made the novels feel wierdly worldly, when there should in reality be horrifying CGI monstrocities taunting our main characters at every turn as they turn to Christ for salvation.

 

[Eventide]

I thought that the writers made a wierd disuse of actual Biblical demonology and shit, it made the novels feel wierdly worldly, when there should in reality be horrifying CGI monstrocities taunting our main characters at every turn as they turn to Christ for salvation.

It's worldly 'cause it was written by 1990's American prosperity gospel Evangelicals (as opposed to more demon-fearing denominations, like Catholics or Eastern Orthodox...which I guess technically are also Catholics...?) Prosperity gospel Evangelicals' don't believe in demons, only consumerism - that's why the horrors of the series tribulation mostly involve the characters not being able to buy Diet Coke at Walmart or go to a Mcdonalds.

 

[AnsemSoD1]

It's worldly 'cause it was written by 1990's American prosperity gospel Evangelicals (as opposed to more demon-fearing denominations, like Catholics or Eastern Orthodox...which I guess technically are also Catholics...?) Prosperity gospel Evangelicals' don't believe in demons, only consumerism - that's why the horrors of the series tribulation mostly involve the characters not being able to buy Diet Coke at Walmart or go to a Mcdonalds.

They did kind of use some real demonology shit near the end, just way too late, especially with the whole rise of false miracles and such. They also made MAJOR disuse of one of the supposed princes of Hell, who could have been an INCREDIBLY villain for a Christian novel at the time.

 

[Preacher ✝]

I think that the perfect way to troll the remaining boomer fans, would be to write a Catholic rewrite of the books, lining up more with legitimate Catholic Theology, so no Isreal worship. Your thoughts @Local Farmer and @Preacher ✝?

Left Behind was that old tv show about the rapture right?

We don't believe in the rapture so it wouldn't really work as a Catholic rewrite.

 

[M3xus]

I remember reading the blurb on the back of these books a fair bit when I was younger and kept getting dragged to Christian bookshops. Finally took the plunge and tried reading one when I was 10-ish. Bounced off so hard I was shocked when a TV show got announced. And I was able to put up with Zanaan (sci-fi YA series where Christians are persecuted by a master computer that abolished religion and runs the world; the MC is an enforcer for the master computer with gloves that give him powers and he slowly becomes a Christian over the course of the series).

Christian fiction ends up only slightly less awkward to read than something like modern-day LGBT or feminist fiction in that the message (in this case, Christianity) takes priority over telling an entertaining story.

 

[Local Farmer]

I think that the perfect way to troll the remaining boomer fans, would be to write a Catholic rewrite of the books, lining up more with legitimate Catholic Theology, so no Isreal worship. Your thoughts @Local Farmer and @Preacher ✝?

Honestly a biblically accurate Kino about the Apocalypse would be cool as hell

 

[Lovely Kin]

Left Behind was that old tv show about the rapture right?

We don't believe in the rapture so it wouldn't really work as a Catholic rewrite.

I always felt the rapture was very popular in southeastern US evangelism churches. Don't know how the mainline prots feel about it, but I'm certain many don't believe in it as well. Always felt like a confusing thing to me, and the more someone told me about the rapture, the more I got confused. But yeah, it's an old movie series (that i think got remade a few times) and many books that's popular in those circles.

 

[Trimalchio]

lol, there was even a kids version of the "Left Behind" series. I remember finding the idea of the "end times" really freaky, mostly because of these shitty books and people treating them like the Bible, but thankfully I had good enough taste to dislike them. I had friends who were obsessed with those books. Between the Satanic panic and hysteria over the impending millennium, 90s American Christian media was like a paranoid fever dream.

 

[Steve Martin Short]

There was a blogger, back in the days of blogs, who was going through the series section by section and pointing out all the many ways the series fails--character, plot, pacing, all the way to theology and politics. Slacktivist was his name. I didn't read the entire thing, noping out when it became apparent that his description of the books as evil was less hyperbole and more him blaming every choice made by the W. Administration on the fact that they exist.

Just checked, and not only is he still around but he's contracted a terminal case of TDS.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/

Me, I'm more on the partial Preterist side of things, where most New Testament prophecies were either fulfilled around that time, or (especially Revelation's weirder bits) coded references to current events.

 

[Blasterisk]

There was a Left Behind RTS game. I know nothing else

There's at least 3 of them, I own the third and it is not very good.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Christian fiction ends up only slightly less awkward to read than something like modern-day LGBT or feminist fiction in that the message (in this case, Christianity) takes priority over telling an entertaining story.

Generally true, although there are exceptions. Frank Peretti's The Oath was pretty good.

 

[Steve Martin Short]

Generally true, although there are exceptions. Frank Peretti's The Oath was pretty good.

Peretti's entertaining--Visitation and Illusion are also good ones. As are Ted Dekker (horror, thriller, and fantasy), Stephen Lawhead (historical fiction/fantasy, plus some sci-fi early on), and Randy Ingermanson (sci-fi, historical fiction, and Writing Fiction for Dummies).