Official Space Station 13 Server

[Shaka Brah]

Third round. Joined as a shaft miner. Mined a bit. Returned to Cargo. Died because I stood in the doors of the shuttle I didn't know was departing. Was left stranded in the middle of space.
10/10 would die to oxygen deprivation and de-pressurization again.

If you have a mining shelter capsule on you, you can use it to save yourself. It will inflate in space and give you a safe spot to wait for rescue.

 

[AmbiTron]

As a miner one trick(for now) I support mining buffs. Goliaths, watchers and legion aren't too bad but god damn some of that stuff is basically impossible to bring down like Bubblegum.

 

[Shaka Brah]

As a miner one trick(for now) I support mining buffs. Goliaths, watchers and legion aren't too bad but god damn some of that stuff is basically impossible to bring down like Bubblegum.

Unfortunately we're stuck with the /tg/ mining nerfs for the time being because they have a handful of seriously insane powergamers and the game is balanced around them. If there's a github put up eventually I think a lot of people are going to submit changes directly, either reverts to pre-nerf /tg/ or ports from Bee that rebalance the nerfs.

 

[AmbiTron]

Unfortunately we're stuck with the /tg/ mining nerfs for the time being because they have a handful of seriously insane powergamers and the game is balanced around them. If there's a github put up eventually I think a lot of people are going to submit changes directly, either reverts to pre-nerf /tg/ or ports from Bee that rebalance the nerfs.

Oh well, I can work with it for now. Let's mine together if you ever see me, I'm usually Sambil Rango though I change it up sometimes.

 

[Shaka Brah]

Oh well, I can work with it for now. Let's mine together if you ever see me, I'm usually Sambil Rango though I change it up sometimes.

I've seen you around a bit! I don't usually mine but I want to try it again, so we'll probably meet up eventually. I'm re-learning the roles after a several year long break from the game.

 

[Gravemind]

Unfortunately we're stuck with the /tg/ mining nerfs for the time being because they have a handful of seriously insane powergamers and the game is balanced around them. If there's a github put up eventually I think a lot of people are going to submit changes directly, either reverts to pre-nerf /tg/ or ports from Bee that rebalance the nerfs.

Pretty much why I was requesting to Null earlier in the thread that he should consider getting rid of /tg/'s mining nerfs as well.

It's really stupid to make a whole department that is already sort of high lethality even harder to play just because a small handful of powergamers got good at the big dick Miner stuff.

I wanted to see how bad it really was for myself this last round but a couple of tider fags mugged and lynched me for my backpack just because I started fighting back after getting sick of playing grab-ass with them for a few minutes straight.

 

[AmbiTron]

I've seen you around a bit! I don't usually mine but I want to try it again, so we'll probably meet up eventually. I'm re-learning the roles after a several year long break from the game.

Good luck to you on that! So far I've only learned shaft miner, but I've been enjoying it so much I haven't moved onto anything else yet. It's just so satisfying getting mining skill to legendary and having a machine gun KA to kill things with. 3x cooldown modkits ftw

 

[Shaka Brah]

Good luck to you on that! So far I've only learned shaft miner, but I've been enjoying it so much I haven't moved onto anything else yet. It's just so satisfying getting mining skill to legendary and having a machine gun KA to kill things with. 3x cooldown modkits ftw

Next time try dual-wielding! On harm intent you can fire both at once.

 

[SaidTheSpider]

I've never played SS13 before, but I've been having a great time.

Spoiler: Things that have happened to me

My very first round, as an Assistant. Hung out with bartender Big Willy Pierce the whole round, practicing drinking and shooting the shit. Best first round I could have asked for, thanks man.

Found a urinal cake in maintenance and forcefed it to some guy on the shuttle (he said it was delicious), then washed his mouth out with soap.

Someone gave me a saw to cut my shotgun's barrel, but I forgot to unload it first and shot myself in the face.

Playing Cargo, we tried to make a delivery to Security, but then all three of us got trapped in a tiny waiting room between two sets of locked doors because Sec thought we were cultists and wouldn't let us in.

First round as prisoner. Splatted a mouse, microwaved it, and dipped it in toilet water. Smacked a vending machine with a shovel and got a free drink, so I smacked the other one and it fell on me and crushed my legs. Being crippled, I couldn't escape the space carp that attacked me next. The AI holoed in to say he wanted to help me but couldn't. Not long afterwards, a helpful guy came along to give me "leave of compassion" for being crippled, and dragged me to the medbay. The doctor just asked, "do you want this tard's legs gone?" To which helpful guy said, "This tard's legs are already gone." Helpful asked if I was feeling alright, so I showed him the mouse (I carried it around with me the whole round), in order that he could accurately assess my mental health. He told me I needed therapy. Didn't have therapy, but space beer is close enough.

I was the cook and some weirdo shouty glowy guy came in: "YO! CHEF MAN! NEED MEAT?" Said yes, against my better judgement, so he came back with three corpses. Gibbed them and made him a human burger, but he didn't eat it. Next visitor was a purple dragon, who I tried to suck up to because he seemed scary. Offered him ice cream, he asked for blood flavour. Gave him a beaker and he went and got me some blood from who knows where, so I made him his ice cream, with a side of a huge pile of monkey organs. Later on the shuttle I was really tickled when I heard him eating the organs and chat said that he "couldn't fit any more ears down his throat." Never found out what was up with the corpse guy.

I was the bartender and nothing much was happening, so the chaplain and a jew were hanging out with me. The chaplain extolled to us the benefits of Discount Christianity (bitches love discounts) and Cardboard Space Jesus (he is lined with holy asbestos), and thusly gained two converts. A talking mime found the Arc of the Covenant and a clock that could stop time lying on a table behind us. The significance of this didn't hit us until after he'd left. I was going to try to subtly steer the conversation towards lynching the mime, but I didn't even need to because we were all thinking the same thing anyway. Unfortunately, shit went down and I got assassinated before we could go hunting.

Was bartender, met a sentient chicken named "Featherbottom" (later "Tendy"). First thing he said to me was "Fuck you", but asking him if he could drink alcohol seemed to really cheer him up, and we spent a few minutes trying. Couldn't make it work, unfortunately. We went to medbay because I had appendicitis super bad, but no one could help me, so Tendy sat by my deathbed nuzzling me.

Played Curator, started the round by distributing photocopies of my ass around the station. Then posted the Art of the Deal and another copy of my ass to the station newspaper. Put yet another copy of my ass in the library photo album. Went to the kitchen but there was no food, so I raided the fridge, made myself a cheese sandwich and ordered up some tomatos from Botany while the chef watched. Interviewed a clown but broke the tape trying to post it to the newspaper. Found a spastic in the library and drunkenly antagonized him until he left. He threw a watermelon at me, so I ate it and called him a tranny for being a "guy with melons".

Started as a prisoner. Scavenged up a few unlabeled syringes and a suspicious pill bottle, served my co-prisoner a microwaved mouse on a cafeteria tray (this was the deluxe version with no toilet water), and spray-painted all the security cameras hot pink. Somehow the door opened, so I escaped, then got recaptured, and then a moth came in and just let me out for some reason. Security guy asked what was going on, but I didn't hear the moth's reply because I was already sprinting in the opposite direction. I had stripped naked and was hiding behind a potted plant when a robot dragged me off to help him make some iron to cure the plague. Took the iron to medbay and spent the rest of the round apprenticing under the doctor, who had lost an arm and couldn't do surgery anymore.

Cheers to everyone who's helped me out; you guys have all been so kind, and incredibly patient. This game would be no fun at all without you.

 

[TurdFondler]

The space station got CoVid this last round, crazy how quick it spreads in space!

 

[KonradCruise]

Kiwistation, a story in one image.

 

[Gravemind]

Kiwistation, a story in one image.
View attachment 1715818

>not using Dark theme

Heresy.

 

[AmbiTron]

I've never played SS13 before, but I've been having a great time.

Spoiler: Things that have happened to me

My very first round, as an Assistant. Hung out with bartender Big Willy Pierce the whole round, practicing drinking and shooting the shit. Best first round I could have asked for, thanks man.

Found a urinal cake in maintenance and forcefed it to some guy on the shuttle (he said it was delicious), then washed his mouth out with soap.

Someone gave me a saw to cut my shotgun's barrel, but I forgot to unload it first and shot myself in the face.

Playing Cargo, we tried to make a delivery to Security, but then all three of us got trapped in a tiny waiting room between two sets of locked doors because Sec thought we were cultists and wouldn't let us in.

First round as prisoner. Splatted a mouse, microwaved it, and dipped it in toilet water. Smacked a vending machine with a shovel and got a free drink, so I smacked the other one and it fell on me and crushed my legs. Being crippled, I couldn't escape the space carp that attacked me next. The AI holoed in to say he wanted to help me but couldn't. Not long afterwards, a helpful guy came along to give me "leave of compassion" for being crippled, and dragged me to the medbay. The doctor just asked, "do you want this tard's legs gone?" To which helpful guy said, "This tard's legs are already gone." Helpful asked if I was feeling alright, so I showed him the mouse (I carried it around with me the whole round), in order that he could accurately assess my mental health. He told me I needed therapy. Didn't have therapy, but space beer is close enough.

I was the cook and some weirdo shouty glowy guy came in: "YO! CHEF MAN! NEED MEAT?" Said yes, against my better judgement, so he came back with three corpses. Gibbed them and made him a human burger, but he didn't eat it. Next visitor was a purple dragon, who I tried to suck up to because he seemed scary. Offered him ice cream, he asked for blood flavour. Gave him a beaker and he went and got me some blood from who knows where, so I made him his ice cream, with a side of a huge pile of monkey organs. Later on the shuttle I was really tickled when I heard him eating the organs and chat said that he "couldn't fit any more ears down his throat." Never found out what was up with the corpse guy.

I was the bartender and nothing much was happening, so the chaplain and a jew were hanging out with me. The chaplain extolled to us the benefits of Discount Christianity (bitches love discounts) and Cardboard Space Jesus (he is lined with holy asbestos), and thusly gained two converts. A talking mime found the Arc of the Covenant and a clock that could stop time lying on a table behind us. The significance of this didn't hit us until after he'd left. I was going to try to subtly steer the conversation towards lynching the mime, but I didn't even need to because we were all thinking the same thing anyway. Unfortunately, shit went down and I got assassinated before we could go hunting.

Was bartender, met a sentient chicken named "Featherbottom" (later "Tendy"). First thing he said to me was "Fuck you", but asking him if he could drink alcohol seemed to really cheer him up, and we spent a few minutes trying. Couldn't make it work, unfortunately. We went to medbay because I had appendicitis super bad, but no one could help me, so Tendy sat by my deathbed nuzzling me.

Played Curator, started the round by distributing photocopies of my ass around the station. Then posted the Art of the Deal and another copy of my ass to the station newspaper. Put yet another copy of my ass in the library photo album. Went to the kitchen but there was no food, so I raided the fridge, made myself a cheese sandwich and ordered up some tomatos from Botany while the chef watched. Interviewed a clown but broke the tape trying to post it to the newspaper. Found a spastic in the library and drunkenly antagonized him until he left. He threw a watermelon at me, so I ate it and called him a tranny for being a "guy with melons".

Started as a prisoner. Scavenged up a few unlabeled syringes and a suspicious pill bottle, served my co-prisoner a microwaved mouse on a cafeteria tray (this was the deluxe version with no toilet water), and spray-painted all the security cameras hot pink. Somehow the door opened, so I escaped, then got recaptured, and then a moth came in and just let me out for some reason. Security guy asked what was going on, but I didn't hear the moth's reply because I was already sprinting in the opposite direction. I had stripped naked and was hiding behind a potted plant when a robot dragged me off to help him make some iron to cure the plague. Took the iron to medbay and spent the rest of the round apprenticing under the doctor, who had lost an arm and couldn't do surgery anymore.

Cheers to everyone who's helped me out; you guys have all been so kind, and incredibly patient. This game would be no fun at all without you.

Haha that chaplain was me! Cardboard Space Jesus be with you my son. That was a fun round, glad you and the other guy in the cafeteria were up for mime lynching but yeah shit got real weird after we left to find the mime. Was my first time trying a job other than shaft miner so I'm glad I made an impression on someone.

Edit: Hey Null or anyone else who can code this shit. Jump boots are meant to make you go over lava safely, and they still move you forward but the lava kills you anyway. If any changes are made, please fix. Not much reason to spend the 2500 points on them right now if they can't even go over lava.

 

[Eris!]

Playing Cargo, we tried to make a delivery to Security, but then all three of us got trapped in a tiny waiting room between two sets of locked doors because Sec thought we were cultists and wouldn't let us in.

Next time you play cargo you should learn to use disposals or the MULE bots. They can both do automated deliveries to departments for you, and both require a bit of fun and learning to figure out how to use.

 

[Gravemind]

Next time you play cargo you should learn to use disposals or the MULE bots. They can both do automated deliveries to departments for you, and both require a bit of fun and learning to figure out how to use.

I noticed that MetaStation doesn't have MULEbots as that gay ass map design was focused more on transfer tubes for packages to individual departments instead, and it's one of the maps that gets played quite frequently on the server.

Edit: Hey Null or anyone else who can code this shit. Jump boots are meant to make you go over lava safely, and they still move you forward but the lava kills you anyway. If any changes are made, please fix. Not much reason to spend the 2500 points on them right now if they can't even go over lava.

I might be wrong, but Jump Boots haven't worked like that for the last couple of years now on /tg/ code, at least not whenever I've played it. It's fucky as hell but what can you do.

 

[Shaka Brah]

The space station got CoVid this last round, crazy how quick it spreads in space!

Space-coof is a conspiracy for sec to deport lizards. Just eat a fried eyeball burger and walk it off.

 

[AmbiTron]

I noticed that MetaStation doesn't have MULEbots as that gay ass map design was focused more on transfer tubes for packages to individual departments instead, and it's one of the maps that gets played quite frequently on the server.


I might be wrong, but Jump Boots haven't worked like that for the last couple of years now on /tg/ code, at least not whenever I've played it. It's fucky as hell but what can you do.

Really? On the wiki I think it says the main purpose of the boots is to jump lava... oh well I guess.

 

[Mysterious Girlfriend X]

PRO TIP: If you're a traitor who's accomplished their goals and wants the shuttle to get called, set off a bomb in toxins storage. That almost always does it.

 

[Nuns with guns]

Props to Billy Bones, he's become my go-to guy in any mischieves I come accross to.

 

[Poto]

Feels odd to be one of those guys who knows enough of the game to help others. I still have fresh in my memory when I started as a humble chemist and was incapable to make chems fast enough.

Feels good to help the newbies to get more fun out of the game and give tips. May you learn to robust and not explode while making meth.