- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
It's an objective truth that the least homosexual period in movie history was from the 30's, to the late 60's; Under the Hays Code, it was literally illegal to make gay movies. Then in the late 60s/early 70s, Hays Code went out the window, we got Midnight Cowboy, Dog day Afternoon, John Waters, Kenneth Anger, and Hollywood has been openly limp-wristed ever since...
But 1930's to 60s was the era of unapologetically male-pitched, male-centric movies for men- All the best WW2 movies, Westerns, and old-time gangster movies; The Great Escape, All Quiet on the Westren Front, High Noon, The Public Enemy, Fist Full of Dollars- The most heterosexual movies, in the most heterosexual genres of all-time.
These were movies made for men who didn't collect funko-pops, or fixate on Japanese cartoons about schoolgirls, or play pointless video games made for children; They worked 9 to 5 to provide for their family, and "recreation" was adjusting your own valve timing, or maybe hunting, or fishing, or building some furniture. Maybe some beers and watching football with the guys, if you were REALLY cutting loose. Genuine, real-deal heterosexual men, of a type that doesn't really exist anymore.
...But what genre of movies even MORE popular with men like this, than Westerns or WW2 movies? What was the MOST popular genre, among the most unapologetically heterosexual, male audience in the history of movies?
Yes, it was the musical.
Musicals were the big "event" block-buster movies, through the whole mid 20th century. For the 40s, 50s and 60s, the top ten highest grossing movies of each decade, were AT LEAST 50% musicals....
...then in the 70s, people STOPPED watching musicals... and the inevitable decline towards universal male homosexuality began...
So, now that we've established that musicals are objectively the LEAST gay genre in film history, let's have brief overview of classic musicals, and some recommendations, to see if we can't bring some video-game playing, Jap schoolgirl-cartoon-watchers BACK to heterosexuality, and the light of God...
SOME INTRODUCTORY MUSICALS, FOR ASPIRING HETEROSEXUALS
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Not exactly from the heyday of the musical, but an accessable way for a newcomer to ease into the genre; Glorious scifi/horror spoof, with some hilarious performances from Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, and John Candy, in their prime.
The Blues Brothers (1981)
I'm guessing most people have seen this already; I've never known anyone to watch this musical and NOT love it; It's main purpose here, is to illustrate that you may THINK you don't like musicals... but you're wrong. You ALREADY love musicals; You just don't know it, yet...
The Producers (1967)
OK, now we're starting to get into the real deal; Not a "retro" "nostalgia" musical, from people in the 80s, trying to revive a basically dead genre, but a movie from the tail end of the era when musicals reignsl; Mel Brooks' greatest comedy, about a Jew who makes a stage musical about the Third Reich ("Springtime For Hitler"), trying to deliberately create a flop for an insurance scam. May step on the toes of some A&Ntards, but for normal people, it's one of the most hilariosly un-PC relics, from an era when comedies were still allowed to be funny
Paint Your Wagon (1969)
Possibly the most manly synopsis, of any musical, ever; A Western, starring Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin in the two lead roles, who build and run a frontier-town brothel... but it's also a musical...
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr T (1953)
The relatively little-known, first ever Dr Seuss movie, and in my opinion, by far the best attempt to translate Dr Seuss's unique vision onto the big screen. A live-action kids movie, but with a very weird, "cartoony" vibe, because of the sets, costumes, etc. Too weird to do justice to, in words, but here's clip
Damn Yankees (195
A musical about Satan coming to earth, to help a struggling baseball team; An absolute classic, but because it's about a baseball team, it also has a pretty "manly" sensibility, that men new to the genre seem to find re-assuriing.
Lil' Abner (1959)
Similar to "5,000 Fingers...", this is a live-action movie, but with a very cartoony feel, achieved via sets, costumes, delibertae over-acting, production style, etc, because it was based on comedic newspaper comic-strip. A story about a lovable redneck hick, who has to go to Washington, it was inspiratioin for 'The Beverly Hillbillies' tv show.
THE REAL DEAL...
Ok, the training wheels are coming off; No more specially-selected "newcomer-friendly" musicals; This is the genre, proper... But don't worry; Just make-believe like you're an actual, real-life heterosexual, and everything will be fine, I promise..
Singin' In the Rain (1953)
Widely considered the greatest musical ever made (or to put it into more relatable terms, this is like the 'GTA San Andreas' of musicals), Bing Crosby was well past his mid-1930s physical prime, when he made this film; It was actually a 'comeback' performance, for 50yo, chain-smoking Bing. Yet he pulls off an incredibly acrobatic performance, doing multiple backflips in the iconic "Make 'Em Laugh" number, back in the era when a-list actors had real, physical skills, and put their body on the line.
The Band Wagon (1953)
This is the movie that first made me really see the appeal of old musicals; I decided to check it out, after I watched a doco where Scoresese raves about the "Girl Hunt Ballet" scene, where Fred Astaire does this wild send-up of noir/gangtser movies. One of the coolest sequences in movie history.
Gold Diggers of '33 (1933)
These black and white movies from the early/mid 30's are my favourite era of musicals; Movie-making was still in it's infancy (sound, pretty important for musicals, had only been the norm about 5 years), and production was much less slick than the big, elaborate, technicolor spectaculars, of the post WW2 years. This era of musicals feels almost "DIY"; Very stripped-back and basic. Plus all the cool, old-timey slang, the girls in their "flapper" dresses, and men in straw boaters and big, coonskin coats, driving huge, straight-8 Duesenbergs, you really get a feel for the era, in a way few movies can acheive.
Swing Time (1936)
I won't even say anything. Just check this absolute insanity...
and while we're on the theme of blackface...
Holiday Inn (1942)
In which Bing Crosby does a hilariously un-optical (thru modern eyes, at least) blackface tribute to Lincoln freeing the slaves.
Stormy Weather (1943)
This shit is wild, too; A movie made for the Basketball American "hep cat"/"zoot suit" Big Band scene, it has a bunch of crazy swing dancing, Cab Calloway, Fats Waller, and other Big Band legends doing some unhinged performances, in equally unhinged costumes. Kinda has to be seen to be believed . Hellzapoppin (1941) is a similar movie
Calamity Jane (1953), Cat Balou (1963), Annie Oakley (1950)
A trend of "Girlies of the Wild West" movies, which are all pretty fun, but IMO Doris Day as Calamity Jane is the best. Also deeply, hilariously un-PC and anti-feminist, by modern standards
Other notables include the highly Talmudic 'Fiddler on the Roof' (1971), kids movie 'Oliver' (196, My Fair Lady (196, Cabaret (1972), Scorsese's New York New York (1977), and Top Hat (1936)
In summary, musicals are a glorious remnant of Hollywood's least cucked era, back before the endless deluge of MCU capefaggotry. Before even the 80s trend of endless sequels. back when every movie was one man's individual vision, which stood or fell on it's own merits, alone. The Golden age of Hollywood musicals were a throw-back to earlier stage performances, where you needed to have real-world physical skills, not just be good-looking, and/or willing to suck the right cocks.
Of course, I understand that NOT EVERYONE can embrace the musical genre; For the habitual homosexual, the lure of old behaviors is strong. Just know that the wonderful, heterosexual world of musicals is waiting for you, when you're ready to move on... (mean-stickers at bottom right, bitchezzz)
But 1930's to 60s was the era of unapologetically male-pitched, male-centric movies for men- All the best WW2 movies, Westerns, and old-time gangster movies; The Great Escape, All Quiet on the Westren Front, High Noon, The Public Enemy, Fist Full of Dollars- The most heterosexual movies, in the most heterosexual genres of all-time.
These were movies made for men who didn't collect funko-pops, or fixate on Japanese cartoons about schoolgirls, or play pointless video games made for children; They worked 9 to 5 to provide for their family, and "recreation" was adjusting your own valve timing, or maybe hunting, or fishing, or building some furniture. Maybe some beers and watching football with the guys, if you were REALLY cutting loose. Genuine, real-deal heterosexual men, of a type that doesn't really exist anymore.
...But what genre of movies even MORE popular with men like this, than Westerns or WW2 movies? What was the MOST popular genre, among the most unapologetically heterosexual, male audience in the history of movies?
Yes, it was the musical.
Musicals were the big "event" block-buster movies, through the whole mid 20th century. For the 40s, 50s and 60s, the top ten highest grossing movies of each decade, were AT LEAST 50% musicals....
...then in the 70s, people STOPPED watching musicals... and the inevitable decline towards universal male homosexuality began...
So, now that we've established that musicals are objectively the LEAST gay genre in film history, let's have brief overview of classic musicals, and some recommendations, to see if we can't bring some video-game playing, Jap schoolgirl-cartoon-watchers BACK to heterosexuality, and the light of God...
SOME INTRODUCTORY MUSICALS, FOR ASPIRING HETEROSEXUALS
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Not exactly from the heyday of the musical, but an accessable way for a newcomer to ease into the genre; Glorious scifi/horror spoof, with some hilarious performances from Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, and John Candy, in their prime.
The Blues Brothers (1981)
I'm guessing most people have seen this already; I've never known anyone to watch this musical and NOT love it; It's main purpose here, is to illustrate that you may THINK you don't like musicals... but you're wrong. You ALREADY love musicals; You just don't know it, yet...
The Producers (1967)
OK, now we're starting to get into the real deal; Not a "retro" "nostalgia" musical, from people in the 80s, trying to revive a basically dead genre, but a movie from the tail end of the era when musicals reignsl; Mel Brooks' greatest comedy, about a Jew who makes a stage musical about the Third Reich ("Springtime For Hitler"), trying to deliberately create a flop for an insurance scam. May step on the toes of some A&Ntards, but for normal people, it's one of the most hilariosly un-PC relics, from an era when comedies were still allowed to be funny
Paint Your Wagon (1969)
Possibly the most manly synopsis, of any musical, ever; A Western, starring Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin in the two lead roles, who build and run a frontier-town brothel... but it's also a musical...
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr T (1953)
The relatively little-known, first ever Dr Seuss movie, and in my opinion, by far the best attempt to translate Dr Seuss's unique vision onto the big screen. A live-action kids movie, but with a very weird, "cartoony" vibe, because of the sets, costumes, etc. Too weird to do justice to, in words, but here's clip
Damn Yankees (195
A musical about Satan coming to earth, to help a struggling baseball team; An absolute classic, but because it's about a baseball team, it also has a pretty "manly" sensibility, that men new to the genre seem to find re-assuriing.
Lil' Abner (1959)
Similar to "5,000 Fingers...", this is a live-action movie, but with a very cartoony feel, achieved via sets, costumes, delibertae over-acting, production style, etc, because it was based on comedic newspaper comic-strip. A story about a lovable redneck hick, who has to go to Washington, it was inspiratioin for 'The Beverly Hillbillies' tv show.
THE REAL DEAL...
Ok, the training wheels are coming off; No more specially-selected "newcomer-friendly" musicals; This is the genre, proper... But don't worry; Just make-believe like you're an actual, real-life heterosexual, and everything will be fine, I promise..
Singin' In the Rain (1953)
Widely considered the greatest musical ever made (or to put it into more relatable terms, this is like the 'GTA San Andreas' of musicals), Bing Crosby was well past his mid-1930s physical prime, when he made this film; It was actually a 'comeback' performance, for 50yo, chain-smoking Bing. Yet he pulls off an incredibly acrobatic performance, doing multiple backflips in the iconic "Make 'Em Laugh" number, back in the era when a-list actors had real, physical skills, and put their body on the line.
The Band Wagon (1953)
This is the movie that first made me really see the appeal of old musicals; I decided to check it out, after I watched a doco where Scoresese raves about the "Girl Hunt Ballet" scene, where Fred Astaire does this wild send-up of noir/gangtser movies. One of the coolest sequences in movie history.
Gold Diggers of '33 (1933)
These black and white movies from the early/mid 30's are my favourite era of musicals; Movie-making was still in it's infancy (sound, pretty important for musicals, had only been the norm about 5 years), and production was much less slick than the big, elaborate, technicolor spectaculars, of the post WW2 years. This era of musicals feels almost "DIY"; Very stripped-back and basic. Plus all the cool, old-timey slang, the girls in their "flapper" dresses, and men in straw boaters and big, coonskin coats, driving huge, straight-8 Duesenbergs, you really get a feel for the era, in a way few movies can acheive.
Swing Time (1936)
I won't even say anything. Just check this absolute insanity...
and while we're on the theme of blackface...
Holiday Inn (1942)
In which Bing Crosby does a hilariously un-optical (thru modern eyes, at least) blackface tribute to Lincoln freeing the slaves.
Stormy Weather (1943)
This shit is wild, too; A movie made for the Basketball American "hep cat"/"zoot suit" Big Band scene, it has a bunch of crazy swing dancing, Cab Calloway, Fats Waller, and other Big Band legends doing some unhinged performances, in equally unhinged costumes. Kinda has to be seen to be believed . Hellzapoppin (1941) is a similar movie
Calamity Jane (1953), Cat Balou (1963), Annie Oakley (1950)
A trend of "Girlies of the Wild West" movies, which are all pretty fun, but IMO Doris Day as Calamity Jane is the best. Also deeply, hilariously un-PC and anti-feminist, by modern standards
Other notables include the highly Talmudic 'Fiddler on the Roof' (1971), kids movie 'Oliver' (196
, My Fair Lady (196, Cabaret (1972), Scorsese's New York New York (1977), and Top Hat (1936)In summary, musicals are a glorious remnant of Hollywood's least cucked era, back before the endless deluge of MCU capefaggotry. Before even the 80s trend of endless sequels. back when every movie was one man's individual vision, which stood or fell on it's own merits, alone. The Golden age of Hollywood musicals were a throw-back to earlier stage performances, where you needed to have real-world physical skills, not just be good-looking, and/or willing to suck the right cocks.
Of course, I understand that NOT EVERYONE can embrace the musical genre; For the habitual homosexual, the lure of old behaviors is strong. Just know that the wonderful, heterosexual world of musicals is waiting for you, when you're ready to move on... (mean-stickers at bottom right, bitchezzz)
