**redacted 1** I'm sorry if this is a very naive or ignorant question, but why did you have to have lawyers to get an X on your ID? I know what the X is but I didn't know the process was so extreme that lawyers & the court had to be involved.
**redacted 2** It's ok to ask questions, **redacted 1**, thanks for inquiring.
So having an X is just the same as if I had switched from F to M. It is a gender change in just the same way.
I had to consult with lawyers for several reasons,
one is that the gender X has not been offered before and so the paperwork that is required for gender change had to be worded and legally processed very precisely.
Because you could not readily obtain this paperwork at the courthouse initially, I had to consult with the lawyer who created the new gender paperwork specifically for the first case that they were fighting to get through the courts in order to get a copy in the first place for myself so that I could go to court and fight for the same thing.
Another lawyer that I worked with assisted in consulting with me on my own case as navigating a court system that isn't exactly well worn on the issue is really quite confusing for all involved.
On a personal note, That lawyer actually tried to recommend against getting my X identity altogether because they were afraid that because of my biology, i may need future care that is often offered specifically to women only and that I might find myself turned away for having an X gender while having physical concerns and biological problems that are traditionally thought of as female and that the aid provided by the government only offers that aid to people with female gender stamps on their ID cards, therefore in the future I may now face situations where if I need care at a clinic because of the physical concerns my body presents - but that clinic is a "women's only" clinic - I may be turned away or denied care.. in addition if it is the only clinic of its kind in my area I may not be able to receive care at all for my physical concerns if I am turned down or refused - due to my gender being officially X. I understood these concerns but I felt that if such an event should arise it would be something I was willing to deal with and suffer through, and that it would also be an opportunity to raise awareness of the problem with identifying and segregating based on gender.
In truth, I took this lawyer's well-meaning comments very personally and they were rather hurtful to me. I have had to sacrifice quite a bit due to biology and my hopes for the future but getting this X was one thing I could do for myself and for all other X's out there without severely jeopardizing those hopes I have for my future and the future of my own family one day...
To think that I was being presented with and urged toward this idea of having to hide in a gender I am not for the rest of my life just so that i wouldn't be refused healthcare and the idea that I should keep hiding for the sake of convenience... When so many beautiful trans and neutral and two-spirit and queer people both inside and outside of my own community were facing these prejudices and injustices every day... it was just abhorrent to me. I don't fault that lawyer for bringing those thoughts and concerns to my attention to try and make sure that I was making an informed decision that I was certain of. I do however resent what felt to me like a very clear expression from them of what they thought was best and their clear lean toward believing that hiding forever was best for me. The insinuation that I was not aware and not thinking it through clearly, and the exasperation they had with my determination. In the end, although that lawyer did help me initially to get the process going, they pulled away when I made the decision to go forward and did not support me further- I went on to finish the process entirely on my own, going on to court without a lawyer to help me at all.
You may not know this either - but getting your name changed actually involves a very similar process of filling out paperwork - posting and then going to court. It actually doesn't require a lawyer at all and most lawyers will recommend against paying their fees just to go through the process with you.
I consulted lawyers for this gender change specifically because it was a new kind of gender change and I wanted to make sure I had everything in order. I didn't end up needing some of the recommendations that I was given - that I should have two doctors write and sign letters of gender change completion for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't have needed them. I was glad for every little tip like that which helped me along the way. The reason that these things from name changes to gender change on state ID cards are such an involved process is that our government wants to make sure that if your doing such a thing - you absolutely completely mean it 100% In this way they keep people from changing their names or changing their gender on a whim, over and over again pell-mell. Or so that is what I am inferring. I don't know that there have been any conclusive studies that make a case for that kind of thing being effective and I know the idea of not being able to live life organically and as it flows is an absolute nightmare for all wonderful queer who live in fluid states of being from fluid gender to fluid orientation and beyond... but it seems that this is how our bureaucracy attempts to keep things in order and to keep people from flippantly changing things that the government needs to use to keep track of us with.
It's nice to see the X acknowledged at the very least to begin chipping away at the archaic system we are using to define a people who have long outgrown its unflinching rigidity. It's not a solution by any means but I do feel that it is one more step toward a better situation for all.
August 2016
Attempt #1 DMV denies my court sanctioned legal gender change
August 18, 2016
After a very heart wrenching court process, a good deal of money I don't have, and a legal ruling that has allowed for me to officially change my gender to what it has always been all along, DMV is now denying my legal gender change, and will not give me a license with the X gender on it that I should have. Their reasoning being "its a technical difficulty" & "we don't have any other options listed in our system yet" When I asked them when I could expect to be able to have my drivers license legally reflect what I am they said they "don't know" can't tell me and weren't sure. That the DMV was talking about it and considering fighting against all court rulings so they don't have to change their system to have 3 options instead of two. I was told by someone who continually mis-gendered me all throughout the process that "IF" the DMV "decides" to honor these court rulings it could be up to a year wait. I just feel like this can't be legal for them to deny us once the courts have ruled it a legal gender change. WTF.
