Over sharing Thread

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I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "this big," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows-- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the EARTH. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'm pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
 
The exact moment I knew I was gay is when I first started watching SpongeBob. I didn't know what it was about him that made me want him so badly, but every time an episode came on my dick became rock solid. I knew I wanted to do more than merely watch this sponge. I wanted to fuck his tight little juicy asshole. For years, I dreamed of pounding him from behind and filling him with my cum and watching it drip out of his pores. However, no matter how many times I choked my chicken to the mere thought of him, my lust for this sexy succulent sea sponge could not be satisfied. I tried everything, body pillows, dolls, even hiring a prostitute to dress up in a SpongeBob costume and suck my cock. Nothing was good enough. So, I made it my number one goal to create a hyper-realistic SpongeBob sex doll, so my fantasies could finally be brought to life. No longer will those who also have a unquenchable thirst for Mr. SquarePants have to dream of releasing their sticky seed inside of his anal cavity, for they can now enjoy the real thing. But, creating this sex doll would not be an easy task, and this I knew. That's why I need your help to fund this Kickstarter. For donating $20, you get a T-shirt that says "I'm gay for SpongeBob SquarePants." For $40, you get the shirt and a coffee cup decorated with the finest SpongeBob rule 34. For $60, you get SpongeBob anal beads. For $100, you get a SpongeBob fleshlight that you can jizz in or whatever, plus all the other shit. Anything less than $20, and I'll just cum in a shoe box and mail it to your door, because fuck you I don't need your peasant change. I would like to make the world a better place with this SpongeBob sex doll, because I believe that everyone deserves the right to stick their dick in a fictional sponge from a kid's show.
 
I break into people houses to drink their toilet water, if I'm lucky they forgot to flush
 
Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.
 
My dad used to work at a local race track in Kentucky when he was a boy. He told me that the worst thing in the world was the waiting time between watching a horse break a leg and having someone come over with an elephant gun to put it out of its misery. He said you could feel the horse was afraid, like it knew something was going to happen to it. He told me how his favorite horse, “Ocean Dancer” broke both legs in a horrible collapse on the track and he immediately ran over to him and started sobbing, because he knew what was going to happen. He said Ocean was quiet and calm though, like he was ready for it. Then, Ocean spoke to my father “Lawrence, you are a good man. You will do great things in your life. You will father two beautiful sons. You will do good in this world. I love you. Goodbye for now, my friend.” Ocean then put his head down and closed his eyes, awaiting his fate. My dad said that afterwards they cut up Ocean and ate the meat and made soup of the bones. Supposedly horse penis is a delicacy when friend in butter. I wouldn’t know.
 
A-Stump said:
I just had some Pizza Hut. The local places here all taste like shit and really think they can charge $50 for a shitty pie where they all use frozen Sysco. I'm not falling for the 'local is better' thing, it's dogshit here.
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Love their pan pizzas. No reason to pay out the ass for a damn pizza.
 
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