Parrhesia - To Speak Everything
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- Jul 4, 2022
MEDIA=youtube]jEILGYq7eso[/MEDIA]
Okay chaps already puked the heaviest personal lead on twitter but there I can't say niggerfaggot.
Lil recap of what I think happened last August, my failure to acknowledge and integrate my totality made me go psychotic and I tried to fight the sun.
Okay chaps already puked the heaviest personal lead on twitter but there I can't say niggerfaggot.
Lil recap of what I think happened last August, my failure to acknowledge and integrate my totality made me go psychotic and I tried to fight the sun.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
In the extreme fear of what I was experiencing and the delusion I adopted to avoid total insanity, I forgot what the point was in the first place
"The Marriage of Opposites, or Chemical Wedding, or Coniunctio Oppositorum, is a term from alchemy that means combining two opposite substances, or essences, or even ideas into a unity greater than the sum of its parts."
Moon- psychosis
Sun- neuroticism
I still need to do it
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I will dance with stuff I don't know or know just very little about, but I'll play with the narrative anyways and maybe get everything wrong but fuck it I'll use whatever I want for my Lego set of cosmology.
It doesn't mean I believe what I share, doesn't mean I don't. Just searching and playing, like a religious shitpost of sorts.
Gonna add a bunch of personal lunacy as well, first because it's unavoidable and second because it's fun as fuck.
Disclaimer: I'm looking for "truth" whatever that means, whatever I post is something I believe could be a piece of the puzzle, a part of the map of the Labyrinth.
Or it could be pure nonsense, who am I to tell, even tho there is an objective reality my limited human mind allows me to only have subjective perspectives.
I will use "(redacted)" whenever I don't feel like using any word or I can't find one that satisfies me at that moment.
“If your world disintegrates [through a lack of narrative], you stop seeing anything in context, and it becomes puzzling, even frightening. Its sheer facticity then stands out, since it can no longer take its place in any world schema of other things and people that would give it meaning.”
-Iain McGilchrist, The Matter with Things
I'm looking for a narrative that's good enough to stimulate my deepest (redacted) to the point of religious ecstasy.
I haven't found any so I'll just chew from a bunch of them. Here we go.
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-ten-sefirot-of-the-kabbalah
It's curious they find the left or right side to be male or female, I have my own biases but they change so much male or female could be one thing or it's opposite depending on what memory or narrative I have at that moment.
For example, does an electron have characteristics of being a particle (a small isolated ball) or is it more like a wave (the waves on top of a pond when a rock is thrown in the water)? Presently the answer appears to be both. An electron acts as a particle and as a wave. Intuitively, it makes no sense. But on a quantum level, it happens. Perhaps many parts of our world need to be viewed not as polar opposites, but as the tension between complementary pairs.- Frederick Walborn, in Religion in Personality Theory, 2014"
another website :
https://zero-point.tripod.com/holistic/sphere9.html
Dashing to and fro 'tween the pillars of the temple
They're the pendulums of peace and pain.
Wake from the sleep of Shilome
There is Maya, the woman spinning
...and dashing to and fro
That website has interesting stuff on it, like this poem, but there's something I don't like about it.
I'm not underestimating the suffering and horror that can come with the physical/material realm, but of course not only does it has its pleasant polarity, but it also has a reason to be.
That's the narrative I want to find, a path to the "center" of the paradox,
How to deny the material world if it is so much a part of me? Of my experiences, the experiences that have made me what I am.
"As above so below", I don't think this realm is profane or evil, but the backbone or the "feet" of (redacted).
Already posted about cosmological natural selection, (redacted).
I remembered the Kabbalah because I read somewhere some time ago that the Yesod sphere is ruled by the moon, and in my experience, the way to start opening (redacted) is going a bit crazy looking for patterns and signs in the world.
Paying attention to synchronicity in events.
And doing things like what I am doing right now that allow me to put attention to certain things, and "tune" myself to "catch certain frequencies" as hippie as that sounds.
And to have a MEMORY of it.
From the same website:
Need time to unweave this chaos inside me but I will just write them a bit fresh a bit hot without differentiation cuz already want to hit "Post Reply":
The narrative or myth you have of your world and of yourself is key to (redacted).
from internet about the ego: Ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
from internet:
The cornerstone of Jungian, or analytic, psychology is individuation. The process of individuation, likened to his description of the creative process, is the road of integration between parts of the self that are conflicted – again, the notion of opposites. Bringing into harmony the parts of the psyche, both conscious and unconscious, that are at odds is the goal.
-K. Jones, in Encyclopedia of Creativity (Second Edition), 2011
If I post a link to a website it's more to give credit and show the source, but if I can't or whatever ill just use "" or something similar.
Also had the idea to post chats with ChatGPT but the last times I tried to enter it bounced me saying it was at max capacity or something like that and it's also frustrating at times for how censored it is, but fuck if it was uncensored access to info, if chatgpt wasnt a bitch it would be of so much help.
see ya later chaps, eat shit n go fuck yourselves. Random insults for psychological release never mind them.
It doesn't mean I believe what I share, doesn't mean I don't. Just searching and playing, like a religious shitpost of sorts.
Gonna add a bunch of personal lunacy as well, first because it's unavoidable and second because it's fun as fuck.
Disclaimer: I'm looking for "truth" whatever that means, whatever I post is something I believe could be a piece of the puzzle, a part of the map of the Labyrinth.
Or it could be pure nonsense, who am I to tell, even tho there is an objective reality my limited human mind allows me to only have subjective perspectives.
I will use "(redacted)" whenever I don't feel like using any word or I can't find one that satisfies me at that moment.
“If your world disintegrates [through a lack of narrative], you stop seeing anything in context, and it becomes puzzling, even frightening. Its sheer facticity then stands out, since it can no longer take its place in any world schema of other things and people that would give it meaning.”
-Iain McGilchrist, The Matter with Things
I'm looking for a narrative that's good enough to stimulate my deepest (redacted) to the point of religious ecstasy.
I haven't found any so I'll just chew from a bunch of them. Here we go.
"The Jewish mystical doctrine known as "Kabbalah" (="Tradition") is distinguished by its theory of ten creative forces that intervene between the infinite, unknowable God ("Ein Sof") and our created world.
Through these powers God created and rules the universe, and it is by influencing them that humans cause God to send to Earth forces of compassion or severe judgment.
The right side represents the principles of unity, harmony and benevolence, as embodied in the Sefirah of Hesed. It is associated with the bestowing of generous goodness upon our world. It is the masculine side.
The Left side of the Sefirot structure is the side of power and strict justice, the values embodied in the Sefirah of Din. It is the female side, representing the fearsome awe of God, and the principles of separation and distinction. The unrestrained dominion of the Left side gives rise to Evil.
The Middle column of the Sefirot structure represents the ideal balance of divine mercy and justice. This harmony is best represented in the Sefirah of Tiferet, which exists midway between the extremes of Din and Hesed, female and male. Following traditional Rabbinic perception, the Kabbalah recognizes that the universe could not survive if it were founded only upon justice or only upon mercy.
Through these powers God created and rules the universe, and it is by influencing them that humans cause God to send to Earth forces of compassion or severe judgment.
The right side represents the principles of unity, harmony and benevolence, as embodied in the Sefirah of Hesed. It is associated with the bestowing of generous goodness upon our world. It is the masculine side.
The Left side of the Sefirot structure is the side of power and strict justice, the values embodied in the Sefirah of Din. It is the female side, representing the fearsome awe of God, and the principles of separation and distinction. The unrestrained dominion of the Left side gives rise to Evil.
The Middle column of the Sefirot structure represents the ideal balance of divine mercy and justice. This harmony is best represented in the Sefirah of Tiferet, which exists midway between the extremes of Din and Hesed, female and male. Following traditional Rabbinic perception, the Kabbalah recognizes that the universe could not survive if it were founded only upon justice or only upon mercy.
- Keter, the Divine Crown
- Hokhmah, Wisdom
- Binah, Understanding
- Hesed, Mercy
- Din, Justice
- Tif'eret, Beauty
- Nezah, Eternity
- Hod, Glory
- Yesod, Foundation
- Shekhinah, God's Presence in the World"
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-ten-sefirot-of-the-kabbalah
It's curious they find the left or right side to be male or female, I have my own biases but they change so much male or female could be one thing or it's opposite depending on what memory or narrative I have at that moment.
"Dichotomies
During the process of individuation and of becoming whole, people need to integrate the various dichotomies of life. They need to allow the pulling together of two seemingly opposing forces or values and express the two simultaneously. A child may only consciously be aware of the mother’s constant love; however, the child is only aware of the mother’s hate as she scolds him for playing in the street. Just as a mother may be representative of love and hate, much of life may be seen as the welding of contradictions.For example, does an electron have characteristics of being a particle (a small isolated ball) or is it more like a wave (the waves on top of a pond when a rock is thrown in the water)? Presently the answer appears to be both. An electron acts as a particle and as a wave. Intuitively, it makes no sense. But on a quantum level, it happens. Perhaps many parts of our world need to be viewed not as polar opposites, but as the tension between complementary pairs.- Frederick Walborn, in Religion in Personality Theory, 2014"
another website :
https://zero-point.tripod.com/holistic/sphere9.html
"PENDULUM
Dashing to and fro 'tween the pillars of the temple
In the centre there is a way to get off this 'time' a ways.
Do you see the King of Edom
who reigh unbalanced force
in the dawn of the birth of Israel?
They're the pendulums of peace and pain.
Faith itself must be slain by certainty
and chastity by ecstasy.
Wake from the sleep of Shilome
and be for the birth that is real.
Still the pendulums don't kneel to them.
Live the Probation's zeal.
There is Maya, the woman spinning
illusion with her dancing.
Weeping in her irony for all poor drowning souls.
She'll lay you low and make amends.
She burns your candle at both ends.
No period for her sentients,
only penitence...
...and dashing to and fro
'tween the pillars of the temple.
In the center there is a way
to get off."
That website has interesting stuff on it, like this poem, but there's something I don't like about it. I'm not underestimating the suffering and horror that can come with the physical/material realm, but of course not only does it has its pleasant polarity, but it also has a reason to be.
That's the narrative I want to find, a path to the "center" of the paradox,
"As above so below", I don't think this realm is profane or evil, but the backbone or the "feet" of (redacted).
Already posted about cosmological natural selection, (redacted).
I remembered the Kabbalah because I read somewhere some time ago that the Yesod sphere is ruled by the moon, and in my experience, the way to start opening (redacted) is going a bit crazy looking for patterns and signs in the world.
Paying attention to synchronicity in events.
And doing things like what I am doing right now that allow me to put attention to certain things, and "tune" myself to "catch certain frequencies" as hippie as that sounds.
And to have a MEMORY of it.
From the same website:
"Receptivity is the keyword for Yesod"
There's a lot of interesting stuff on the internet about that sphere alone, but I'll take some TIME to get distanced, I'm starting to get thirsty for perspective.Need time to unweave this chaos inside me but I will just write them a bit fresh a bit hot without differentiation cuz already want to hit "Post Reply":
The narrative or myth you have of your world and of yourself is key to (redacted).
from internet about the ego: Ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
from internet:
c) Tiphareth = Creativity = syntaxic mode (where meaning is more or less fully cognized symbolically, with ego present); cognitive, symbols. Solar consciousness of Causal Plane. Creativity is the result of the harmonizing of lunar and solar elements.
Individuation further includes the integration of the conscious mind, the personal unconscious, and the collective unconscious.The cornerstone of Jungian, or analytic, psychology is individuation. The process of individuation, likened to his description of the creative process, is the road of integration between parts of the self that are conflicted – again, the notion of opposites. Bringing into harmony the parts of the psyche, both conscious and unconscious, that are at odds is the goal.
-K. Jones, in Encyclopedia of Creativity (Second Edition), 2011
If I post a link to a website it's more to give credit and show the source, but if I can't or whatever ill just use "" or something similar.
Also had the idea to post chats with ChatGPT but the last times I tried to enter it bounced me saying it was at max capacity or something like that and it's also frustrating at times for how censored it is, but fuck if it was uncensored access to info, if chatgpt wasnt a bitch it would be of so much help.
see ya later chaps, eat shit n go fuck yourselves. Random insults for psychological release never mind them.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Reality is what it is, and fantasy too. Both are (redacted)
I won't even put much effort into this post, one effort post followed by a low-effort one will be the tactic
Gotta keep it flowing, gotta have a rythm.
If i want to unlock tasty parts i cant get too rational. Balance.
Perspective.
Fuck it it won't only be low effort its just deep madness to channel (redacted)
And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you shitpost and holy sacred texts tempering that will be for all the people.
Description
Tempering is a process of heat treating, which is used to increase the toughness of iron-based alloys.
...improve the hardness and elasticity of (steel or other metal) by reheating and then cooling it.
"the way a smith would temper a sword""
-internet
I won't even put much effort into this post, one effort post followed by a low-effort one will be the tactic
Gotta keep it flowing, gotta have a rythm.
If i want to unlock tasty parts i cant get too rational. Balance.
Perspective.
Fuck it it won't only be low effort its just deep madness to channel (redacted)
And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you shitpost and holy sacred texts tempering that will be for all the people.
"Tempering:
MetallurgyDescription
Tempering is a process of heat treating, which is used to increase the toughness of iron-based alloys.
...improve the hardness and elasticity of (steel or other metal) by reheating and then cooling it.
"the way a smith would temper a sword""
-internet
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
It won't even be one low followed by one high it's whatever it is.
What do i know.
Have to get rid of my human prejudices and self-importance to find the truth. Followed by relentless, cold and harsh as fuck judgment but flexible enough to be killed as the foolishness it also is in perspective.
Both purify each other, Looking out for a prime fantasy, that slides into reality like a wet cock into a melting kunt.
I also use "(redacted)" if I don't know what to write.
Some shit from my google drive.
It's important i feel, not only applies to intimacy with other humans.
A deep intimacy with reality is the reason we seek narratives.
Eventually i will have to dive deep into the magnum cringe I've dealt and still deal to this day, but suprise motherfucker hidden weapon
being aware of how cringe you are is, of course, helpful to be a being, an entity with a sense of self. Probably cringe is the very foundation of it. But fuckit ambush the garden bitch no return keep laddering till goes full circle.
Laddering lies into (redacted).
Screenshots from my drive docs:
I was indeed trying to compensate for the weight of cringe and society's judgment which is usually stupid yes but I was just pushing up a shield in my mind to fight just how powerful community is (midsommar soundtrack "gassed" just started playing)
But from the perspective I have where I am now, having people to fuck(sexual intercourse), with movement (healed broken leg and got motorcycle papers in order), and in a different part of the city, it really makes a lot of difference in what environment you are.
But I'm still in the belly of the beast, just got a better position. It's all good, Diamonds need pressure.
Maybe it will eventually break me, but what difference does it make in the end, time eats everyone.
So I'll just try to make my time here count. More like, discover why it counts, why it matters.
https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...and-beauty-of-cosmological-natural-selection/
As above, so below.
What do i know.
Have to get rid of my human prejudices and self-importance to find the truth. Followed by relentless, cold and harsh as fuck judgment but flexible enough to be killed as the foolishness it also is in perspective.
Both purify each other, Looking out for a prime fantasy, that slides into reality like a wet cock into a melting kunt.
I also use "(redacted)" if I don't know what to write.
Some shit from my google drive.
It's important i feel, not only applies to intimacy with other humans.
A deep intimacy with reality is the reason we seek narratives.
Eventually i will have to dive deep into the magnum cringe I've dealt and still deal to this day, but suprise motherfucker hidden weapon
being aware of how cringe you are is, of course, helpful to be a being, an entity with a sense of self. Probably cringe is the very foundation of it. But fuckit ambush the garden bitch no return keep laddering till goes full circle.
Laddering lies into (redacted).
Screenshots from my drive docs:
I was indeed trying to compensate for the weight of cringe and society's judgment which is usually stupid yes but I was just pushing up a shield in my mind to fight just how powerful community is (midsommar soundtrack "gassed" just started playing)
But from the perspective I have where I am now, having people to fuck(sexual intercourse), with movement (healed broken leg and got motorcycle papers in order), and in a different part of the city, it really makes a lot of difference in what environment you are.
But I'm still in the belly of the beast, just got a better position. It's all good, Diamonds need pressure.
Maybe it will eventually break me, but what difference does it make in the end, time eats everyone.
So I'll just try to make my time here count. More like, discover why it counts, why it matters.
https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...and-beauty-of-cosmological-natural-selection/
As above, so below.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I wrote that drive stuff among a bunch of more chaos just after getting out from a clandestine jail where you can send powerless people to get tortured and beaten (usually for drug problems but you can kidnap anyone if you have enough power/money, welcome to Mexico).
Snatched in the middle of the day, left 3 months spending most of the day and night clustered with other 40 bastards, all violent and on the verge of insanity with only two dishes of rice and bad soup each day, fighting for resources, chaos and madness, brutal punishments by the "ruling inmates" including rape and physical/psychological torture.
I've already been in a place like that when I was 16, both times I was kidnapped by my mother.
Besides the humiliation and horror experienced, which were intense both times, still can't compare to the disintegration of shame, yet I still crave what lies on the other side.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
One can take a lot with a meaningful reason to be, or you can harakiri yourself for "loss of honor"
Myth in all its forms can shoot you to understanding or drive you mad, just what beliefs fit into your particular setup and what that makes you identify with.
But there are also layers, not just rational narratives, I'll have to explore that later, I'm tired.
On another note-
“You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.”
― William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and HellAs above so below.
Experience, infinite experience, tasting every corner of potentiality
It's beyond my fucking comprehension.
https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...and-beauty-of-cosmological-natural-selection/
Also to clarify I use the symbolism of certain movies and stuff, but that can have many perspectives, I don't use the lore strictly, sometimes it means something totally different (for me).
Well, I think ill try to sleep.
I've been having sensual excess and drugs this last month as if I was immortal, in a way we are because we are all the same consciousness in quite a literal way and have eternity to play, but if I want to keep this body of experience, this life, I have to take care of myself.
I strive to not Lament whatever Experience I've had in this Life, "good" or "bad", it's what I am, and loving myself unconditionally is the least I can give myself after carrying me all the way to this moment.
The time I've lived is the parcel of the infinite void I was "tasked" to fill, so I'm just owning it.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Internet: "A hot potato culture is one where few or no one wants to take ownership of a problem, issue, or opportunity. It implies there's a lack of engagement or initiative."
Getting tons of feedback, even if it's by your whole community virtually crucifying you is a golden opportunity to take ownership of your life, or just throw the potato to someone "lesser" and keep looking for someone to scapegoat.
Drink it all up.
And thank you for being a sacrifice.
Getting tons of feedback, even if it's by your whole community virtually crucifying you is a golden opportunity to take ownership of your life, or just throw the potato to someone "lesser" and keep looking for someone to scapegoat.
Drink it all up.
And thank you for being a sacrifice.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I've observed the humor of people that have knowledge of themselves they can't take lightly enough to joke about.
As long as it's underneath you can ignore it, but the more they pile up in the conscious mind the more their humor becomes uncomfortable and awkward, and they live miserably (or/and make other people's lives miserable).
It usually happens to old people that used to be very fun and vivid but as life went on there was stuff they just wouldn't or couldn't joke about their own lives, and started using humor as a way to push their problems under the rug, instead of it being a way to confront or integrate them.
It's sad.
Sometimes it's better to weep alone than to have fake laughter
As long as it's underneath you can ignore it, but the more they pile up in the conscious mind the more their humor becomes uncomfortable and awkward, and they live miserably (or/and make other people's lives miserable).
It usually happens to old people that used to be very fun and vivid but as life went on there was stuff they just wouldn't or couldn't joke about their own lives, and started using humor as a way to push their problems under the rug, instead of it being a way to confront or integrate them.
It's sad.
Sometimes it's better to weep alone than to have fake laughter
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Internet: "A hypochondriac is someone who lives with the fear that they have a serious, but undiagnosed medical condition, even though diagnostic tests show there is nothing wrong with them. Hypochondriacs experience extreme anxiety from the bodily responses most people take for granted."
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I understand more about cringe now.
Usually it was somewhat masochistic for me, it reminded me of my own cringe.
But now I can remember it and it's alright, now I can enjoy the sadistic pleasure of watching cringe-shows unfold.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Random thought.
Just think about consciousness, it may vary in degrees, have different memories to suck from, and variants in configuration, but it's really the same for everything that possesses one.
EXPERIENCE can only be experienced by ONE consciousness.
Now, the horrid part about this is, of course, that all the horrid shit you can and can't imagine has happened to YOU.
Just think about consciousness, it may vary in degrees, have different memories to suck from, and variants in configuration, but it's really the same for everything that possesses one.
EXPERIENCE can only be experienced by ONE consciousness.
Now, the horrid part about this is, of course, that all the horrid shit you can and can't imagine has happened to YOU.
5055256[/ATTACH]]
Attachments
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
oh man I'm really digging sunlight, sometimes the light is way scarier than darkness.
But it's also ecstatic
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Such a clean subtle feedback. Thank you all.
But you should ask yourself if you can really scare someone who has, according to your own worldview, "befriended the Devil"
But you should ask yourself if you can really scare someone who has, according to your own worldview, "befriended the Devil"
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
The least not very bright ones already realized and stopped, only the burnt rubble at the bottom of the pipe remains and I still want to play.
Come on play, I have such memes to show you.
Come on play, I have such memes to show you.