Pastadome - A place for friends who are being too friendly in other threads.

the celebrity megathread was the best thing to happen on A&H.

it’s kind of funny how we’re doing a better job than Inside Edition and National Enquirer mixed together.
 
The Pink Panther said:
Fixed that for you.
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I originally disagreed but then I remembered charamusca de melon
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Love them to death
 
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Bender said:
Boil 100g pasta per person, preferably those ones that look like sea shells. Pour a tin of diced tomatoes per person into a bowl with some basil, a good amount of salt and pepper and a drained can of tuna. Once the pasta's done throw into a colander and strain it. Empty the sauce bowl into the pan you used for the pasta, bring it to a boil for a couple of minutes and dump the pasta back in. Give it a stir every once in a while to make sure it's all evenly-distributed.

Pour it into a bowl (or multiple, depending on how many you're serving), top with grated cheddar and serve with garlic bread. Boom, simplest meal you can ever make.

Edit to add: If you haven't got garlic bread add a tiny amount of garlic powder, about 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon per person, that will help give the dish a more robust flavour.
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Slightly more difficult, but much easier than people think (people will think you are amazing for making it, it's like cooking equivalent of shuffling cards) is carbonara, my favourite pasta dish.

You need
1 onion diced
1 clove of garlic diced
1 tbsp basil, oregano, olive oil, cracked pepper
1 tsp paprika, rosemary
1 whole egg and 2 egg yolks
300g bacon, diced (buy rashers and dice it yourself, you don't just want the meat you want some fat too)
A cup of parmesan cheese
Half a packet of pasta

Put some salt water on to boil and throw the pasta in. Well, when you first do it you might want to mix the sauce first, but ideally you mix the sauce while the pasta is cooking.
Alright the sauce - take the garlic, onion and bacon and throw them in a fry pan with the olive oil. Sautee them until the onion turns translucent - no further! You do not want the onions to caramelise or the bacon to crisp up.
Now you want to take the cream and eggs and whisk them for about two minutes - until they are fully blended and only just starting to bubble. Then add the cheese and herbs and gently fold it it through until its evenly distributed. Then add the bacon onion and garlic (straight out of the pan, with the oil and juices) and fold that through.

Now your pasta should be ready, so whip it out and drain it. Whack it back in the pot and, while it's still steaming away, throw in your sauce and mix it through, making sure it coats all the pasta. Put the lid back on and let it sit for five minutes - the heat from the pasta will cook the egg mixture - and serve.

Congratulations, you just made an amazing pasta dish in 15 minutes. You can add capsicum and mushrooms if you want - just add an extra egg yolk for each handful of additional ingredients. And if you want to get fancy use prosciutto (only 150 grams though) and romano cheese, although personally I feel that goes against the spirit of the dish.

Edit: forgot the pepper, what is wrong with me?
 
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Assman said:
All Hulksters know that spaghetti is the foundation of a well-balanced diet.
You can give the fresh stuff to libtards and 25 year old leftovers from Pastamania to Trumpers. Hunger crisis solved.
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I legit wonder how a fast food mall court spaghetti business went under. I'd imagine that would do well there
 
Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
I legit wonder how a fast food mall court spaghetti business went under. I'd imagine that would do well there
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If it would have worked that was definitely the time for it in terms of marketing. For a mall food court though I can see why people didn't want to fuck with take out pasta when you had plenty of pizza and burger options. My only guess is that there were already nearby sit-down Italian places because otherwise how do you factor in for the Chinese take out options. Not trying to be racist but noodles are noodles.
 
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Assman said:
If it would have worked that was definitely the time for it in terms of marketing. For a mall food court though I can see why people didn't want to fuck with take out pasta when you had plenty of pizza and burger options. My only guess is that there were already nearby sit-down Italian places because otherwise how do you factor in for the Chinese take out options. Not trying to be racist but noodles are noodles.
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That is true. Plus, running a profitable restaurant is really difficult even for people with experience in the industry
 
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Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
That is true. Plus, running a profitable restaurant is really difficult even for people with experience in the industry
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Yes, the proper response to being invited to invest in a restaurant is: "I didn't realize I was the main financial suicide guy in this area."
 
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I got a simple recipe out of a book once. It requires good ingredients, but very little cooking talent.

Preheat your oven to 450.

Take a whole fish, head included, but gutted and cleaned. Red snapper, striped bass, rockfish, whatever. Rub it with salt and pepper inside and out, and put a slice of lemon, a clove of garlic, and a sprig of thyme or rosemary in the gut cavity.

Spread some olive oil on a piece of foil and put that on a baking sheet. Put the fish on top of the foil.

Roast it thoroughly. 15-20 minutes should do it.

The result is something people will pay $30 a plate for at a real restaurant. And all you had to do was buy a fish and some stuff.
 
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