It was a cold winter night, and I was in my warm cozy bed, wearing my Make America Great Again© night cap, made in china and proudly sold in the Great United States of America, and in my Donald Trump Cosplay onsie, snuggled up in a comforter that had the American Declaration of Independence printed on it. I was in a deep sleep, dreaming of a great nation that had a great economy, and great other things that I can't really remember, but they were great, and I enjoyed how great they were, so much that I even made an O shape with my lips just like Donald Trump did as he spoke in repetitive language. All of a sudden, I was woken up by a knock at my window. I believed that I was still dreaming and the knock was just a branch hitting my window, but I made sure to keep my 9mm glock under my pillow, the same glock that was given to me by the god given right to bear arms as the 2nd Amendment allowed. I drifted back off to sleep, the dreams of a great America with China disappearing off the map overtaking my consciousness.
I was awoken once again, but this time I was upright, the sound of glass shattering forcing me on high alert! A large shadow was standing before me, looming at me and smelling of communism and leftism. Quickly I whipped out my pistol, but I forgot that I only jerked off with my right arm, and my left was atrophied from lack of use. I managed to fire off one single shot before the pistol was slapped out of my hand, and only then could I see the face of a man with a blond partial goatee, sunglasses, and a sleeveless shirt that rippled with the muscles that could've been there if it weren't for his old age. It was Hollywood Hulk Hogan, and he had no pants on. His flaccid penis was as big as my arm, and he was ready to deliver the blue pill straight into my asshole.
I quickly jumped out of bed, attempting to flee out of the shattered window. Landing on the cold pavement, I got up, running into the woods behind me, my years of eating red pills and McDonald's keeping me from achieving my maximum velocity. Looking behind, I could see the towering form of the retired wrestling superstar, chasing me with the little red book in one hand and his fat cock in the other. It didn't take long before he caught up to me, knocking me down into the ground, my face full of snow and frozen grass.
I couldn't tell you the pain I felt as Hulk's meaty fist invaded my asshole, the same one that won his championship belt against the Iron Sheik in (((1984))). The smell of blood and shit was wafting in the air as I could hear Hulk Hogan's behemoth laugh and the horrible noises of his arm cramming into my bowels. My vision blurred, and as I felt that massive arm of the WWF legend forcibly release itself from my now gaping and prolapsed hole, he stuffed his fat penis inside me, reciting the words of the dirty commie Mao Zedong while his own Zedong pissed into my body. It felt like four agonizing hours, before he finally came inside me like an old used fleshlight, leaving me in the bloody shit covered snow, praying to our Lord and Savior Donald J. Trump to come save us from this wretched degeneracy of the socialist party. But he never came.
Why Master Trump? Why?
