Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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Stuff I forgot to mention about Tara the Edgy Goff:
  • She was a gay rights supporter, but much like Tumblr, she was all about the SJW brownie points. Each year, she'd participate in the "Day of Silence" and would come to school with pro-gay symbols on her face and body instead of the edgy crap seen in the above picture. She'd get really pissed off if someone said the word "fag."
  • The senior year English teacher mentioned above was a mid-year replacement. We were one of the first classes she ever had because she was fresh out of college, only a few years older than us, and (not gonna lie) exceptionally cute. During class one day, she told Tara that the teacher there before her had said that Tara dressed and acted that way to get attention. This made Tara really mad, and she went on for about ten minutes about how "this was who she really was." The funny thing? She didn't start dressing or acting like that 'till about 7th or 8th grade. She was relatively normal before that.
  • She unironically used the word "prep" to describe people she didn't like. Yeah, there's a reason I named her after Tara Gillesbie.
  • She had three dogs, and all of them were named after snack foods. Their names were Marshmallow, Popcorn, and Rocky Road.
  • She was obsessed with Germany because a lot of her shitty bands were German. She'd always say "scheizer" instead of "shit" but didn't really seem to know much more German than that. She was also a bit of a weeb, and talked about moving to Japan sometimes.
  • She was also obsessed with black, the color of edginess. It was her "favorite color" and most of her shirts were black. She was in my science class in ninth grade, and we were doing an experiment with chemicals. One of the chemicals was silver nitrate. The teacher specifically told us to be careful with it because it'd turn our skin black if it got on our hands. She blurted out "oh, cool!" and immediately emptied the entire vial onto her hands.
  • She'd bitch out anyone who said anything even remotely negative about something she liked.
  • She and I rode the same bus, and she made a big issue about someone sitting in her usual seat. Seriously, the entire bus ride she and this other person kept going back and forth because someone took "her" seat. Serious business.
  • She always bitched about her brother. Said brother looked exactly like her. No, not just a familial resemblance. He literally had the exact same face as her, just with different hair and clothes. They weren't twins, but they looked like twins. He was older, though. He was also seemingly better adjusted than her, and kept jobs more consistently after they graduated. That being said, he looked and sounded almost exactly like StrikerWolf.
  • If teachers didn't put up with her shit, she'd walk out of class.
  • She was a fan of Cassandra Clare
  • She once left school early to go to a Black Veil Brides concert, something she wouldn't shut the fuck up about for months after it happened. She even got the lead singer to sign her excuse and kept it on her person at all times. She'd never hesitate to pull it out for anyone she could get to listen.
I didn't associate with her, but I know all this stuff because she'd never shut the hell up.
 
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Your stories kinda remind me of my own school days. I had this diehard weeaboo friend who had all sorts of anime paraphernalia and the miscellaneous edgy shit like pentagrams all over his stuff. He had an ugly girlfriend, and this ugly girlfriend had a younger brother
Darwin Watterson said:
Said brother looked exactly like her. No, not just a familial resemblance. He literally had the exact same face as her, just with different hair and clothes. They weren't twins, but they looked like twins
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Just like that!

I met the same guy last year, and he has somehow become even more of a weeaboo, but he has a decent looking gf now (they have daughter with a japanese name). The guy organizes anime conventions for a living, has a Fullmetal Alchemist tattoo on his leg (and was wearing an Edward Elric replica hoodie at the time) and adamantly showed me some pics of him cosplaying as half naked catboy.
 
Story about a girl I know
So there's this one girl that I knew back in my senior year of high school that I've dubbed Harley. Why Harely you ask? Well, it certainly wasn't because she liked motorcycles, no it was because she was utterly obsessed with Harley Quinn and the joker from batman. Every single conversation she would find some way to bring them up, whether it be by relating whatever they were talking about to the characters, or by loudly talking in her impressions of the characters. It was even to the point where she let her obsession completely influence her appearance. She always kept her hair dyed a sickening poo green color tied in pigtails and her clothes always featured the colors red, black, and purple prominently and usually had some sort of tacky evil clown motif. She also frequently said that she looked like Harley, even though she was quite stocky and had an incredibly masculine, defined face. She also had an edgy "dark" sense of humor, and once asked my pregnant friend that if her baby died she could keep its body and have it stuffed. But the thing that made her graduate from generic weirdo to full blown lolcow happened during the last half of the year. She suddenly just started coming to school fully dressed as Heath Ledger's joker complete with purple trench coat and face paint. She would show up and run around in this outfit for the whole day. She wore it every day and never bothered to wash it, which only made her already noticeable odor even more prominent. She claimed that it was because she was going to be in a batman fan movie and that she wore her outfit because they were filming it after school. Now, people constantly pointed out that she could probably just put the costume in a bag and get dressed before the filming, and this was met with the same response she gave anyone that happened to say anything to her: she flailed her arms and legs around screaming at them to leave her alone before she "snapped" and attacked someone. The teachers of course tried to tell her off for being so distracting, but they eventually gave up after putting up with numerous fits of tard rage.
Also one time she legitimately started threatening me loudly at the bus stop because I said that the scarecrow was cooler than the joker lol.
 
Count groudon said:
Story about a girl I know
So there's this one girl that I knew back in my senior year of high school that I've dubbed Harley. Why Harely you ask? Well, it certainly wasn't because she liked motorcycles, no it was because she was utterly obsessed with Harley Quinn and the joker from batman. Every single conversation she would find some way to bring them up, whether it be by relating whatever they were talking about to the characters, or by loudly talking in her impressions of the characters. It was even to the point where she let her obsession completely influence her appearance. She always kept her hair dyed a sickening poo green color tied in pigtails and her clothes always featured the colors red, black, and purple prominently and usually had some sort of tacky evil clown motif. She also frequently said that she looked like Harley, even though she was quite stocky and had an incredibly masculine, defined face. She also had an edgy "dark" sense of humor, and once asked my pregnant friend that if her baby died she could keep its body and have it stuffed. But the thing that made her graduate from generic weirdo to full blown lolcow happened during the last half of the year. She suddenly just started coming to school fully dressed as Heath Ledger's joker complete with purple trench coat and face paint. She would show up and run around in this outfit for the whole day. She wore it every day and never bothered to wash it, which only made her already noticeable odor even more prominent. She claimed that it was because she was going to be in a batman fan movie and that she wore her outfit because they were filming it after school. Now, people constantly pointed out that she could probably just put the costume in a bag and get dressed before the filming, and this was met with the same response she gave anyone that happened to say anything to her: she flailed her arms and legs around screaming at them to leave her alone before she "snapped" and attacked someone. The teachers of course tried to tell her off for being so distracting, but they eventually gave up after putting up with numerous fits of tard rage.
Also one time she legitimately started threatening me loudly at the bus stop because I said that the scarecrow was cooler than the joker lol.
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Oh, Joker fans, they're the worst, even more than deadpool fanboys.
 
military brony is currently dating a girl who is a giant weeaboo and wears lolita clothing all the time. she isn't very lolcow-y surprisingly despite that.

however military brony will take up any opportunity to brag and talk about his relationship non stop. he will proudly bring up the fact that they haven't had sex yet to anyone. he likes telling people how much they cuddle during lunch break and talks about how she's not like all the other girls, etc.... obviously it's gotten really annoying really quick and i try to avoid him when i can. he was going on about it to some poor old lady who works at the college the other week....
 
Many of the idiots in my sociology class right now I feel are my personal lolcows, particularly this one girl in there who always sounds like she ODed on something everyday. She's one of those pretentious art hipsters and I think is a real life version of all those "social justice warriors" that are frequently talked about here. She even talks really slow. I ought to get a recording of what she sounds like because it's that fucking bad. There's also this black girl that constantly complains about the class and the professor and doesn't shut up and even the professor himself just uses the class to make these red3blog esque political rants all the time. He's part black. Not a bad guy but he is annoying too.
 
Piga Dgrifm said:
There's a pretty strange guy who just moved into my neighborhood. My first encounter with him occurred in the park, wherein he was running around in circles, and repeatedly asking everyone he saw "HAVE YOU SEEN DA BLUE'S CLUES?" Anyone who responded "yes" would then be met with a bizarre tirade about how much Crazy-Guy hates Joe (the second host of the show.)

The second time I saw him, he was just kind of wandering the neighborhood, chanting the phrase "I HATE TOMMY PICKLES," over and over again, while picking up any pieces of dog shit he found and just carrying it around for some reason.

I am both wary of, and looking forward to, my next encounter.
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Any updates?
 
it's pretty much up to me to feed and look after the ponies at college now because my favourite lolcow treats them like stuffed animals and was inevitable nipped by one of them and went on some weird hate campaign trying to convince everyone how horrible and dangerous the ponies are and this being a special ed college just about everyone suddenly believed her and no one will go into the field with them anymore. she saw me going into the field with them the other week and she started screaming and raving about how i was asking to get attacked, etc...
 
I have my own Slatons back at home. ;) This pair of morbidly obese chicks who go around getting in fights with everybody they meet, from their husbands to the help at the store. Family/town reunions are always a blast to have when they come, because then they comment about all the sex they had in the year and afterwards spend all their cash on food and junk. They're also obsessed with cars for some reason.
 
friedshrimp said:
I have my own Slatons back at home. ;) This pair of morbidly obese chicks who go around getting in fights with everybody they meet, from their husbands to the help at the store. Family/town reunions are always a blast to have when they come, because then they comment about all the sex they had in the year and afterwards spend all their cash on food and junk. They're also obsessed with cars for some reason.
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I'm imagining that scene from the wolverine movie with blob
 
friedshrimp said:
Wonder if she's still up with that emo crap now in 2016.
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She is. I found her Twitter. Not gonna link it for privacy reasons, but it's full of cringe and self-pity. Some things never change, I guess. I'll put up some caps.
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Oh, and she hung out with similar people. Everyone in her circle came to school dressed in the most ridiculous outfits possible and a lot of them had wacky hair colors. She'd probably become an asspatter of Phil if she found out about him.
 
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I've encountered a lot of annoying people in various forums (mostly those related to cartoons and such), but I hesitate to reveal their names here, since they're largely innocent.
 
Guess what? More fucking Norman

Yesterday, he finally decided to go apply for his first real job. Well second, but he's literally only worked for one day in the past. He's 27 years old.

He dragged my husband along and I went because they were heading to this huge ass mall that I've never been to and wanted to explore. Norman refused to apply at any of the restaurants (despite the fact that they were hiring, there were interviews going on right next to us in the food court) or for a janitor job and made these disgusted faces at the mere suggestion. He applied at the hip and trendy clothing stores (Pac Sun, American Eagle, Hollister, Abercrombie etc...) and some electronic places. Maybe even the candy shops. I went off on my own because I wanted to see this huge ass mall.

Later that night, MR OB and me are grocery shopping and he calls him. He had left his applications at his dad's place and he was at his mom's, twenty minutes away. He asked Mr. OB to drive to his dad's house, pick up the applications and deliver them to his mom's house. This would be an hour round trip, minimum. My husband says no, tells it to do it himself and that he's already done enough today (driving Norman's dad to the casino, helping out Norman, driving Norman's dad back home plus other errands).

Norman's response something like: you drove me to the mall and then "that's the net of your effort". Keep in mind that Mr. OB was with him applying for jobs and had to put up with his whining all day. There was more to the texts but I didn't see them. Maybe I'll go look.
 
Old Blighty said:
He applied at the hip and trendy clothing stores (Pac Sun, American Eagle, Hollister, Abercrombie etc...) and some electronic places. Maybe even the candy shops. I went off on my own because I wanted to see this huge ass mall.
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Yeah, that's not gonna work. Those places, especially Abercrombie & Fitch, don't hire you unless you look like a model.
 
There is a lolcow community that I know and they do several extremely cringey things like collect the trash of a slightly less autistic man among other things
 
AnOminous said:
Yeah, that's not gonna work. Those places, especially Abercrombie & Fitch, don't hire you unless you look like a model.
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He looks like a doughier, facial hair less Louis CK with a touch of Brianna Wu. It's not gonna happen.

Also, I forgot to add this part. When we parked, they took the stairs so he could smoke and I took the elevator. In the car, I had pointed out he could not be choosy because on paper, he was worthless. While they were walking, he whined about how mean I was.
 
Jason Puncheon said:
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Shaun 'Foodking' Tysoe, probably the biggest Pokemon-related lolcow I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. As we all know, Pokemon has a tendency to attract lolcows (just look at slugfucker) but this guy really does take the crown as far as people involved with the competitive gaming side of things are concerned.

For starters he's got an ego rivalling OPL's in his prime, perhaps even bigger, thinking he's some sort of world-class competitive Pokemon player and literally going out to every single tournament he can, whether he can afford to or not, just to show the world he's the greatest (he's not, by the way). He even made an article on Wikipedia for himself listing his 'achievements'.He also has a youtube channel where he uploads hilariously godawful song covers which he probably thinks sound better than the original. But that's only the beginning.

Such is his devotion to the magnificent sport that is Pokemon he's managed to get himself into massive amounts of debt, taking out loans to cover his travel costs and not repaying them. This is a man who is literally supposed to have full-time assistance, and yet for the past four years has been travelling across the UK (and occasionally to Europe) totally unaccompanied using money that he doesn't have, pissing off everyone by being loud and obnoxious and thinking he's fucking untouchable. That is, until recently, when he shat his pants at an event and spent the whole day waddling around with his shitty unwashed arsecrack on full display, much to the disgust of everyone around him, which literally led to him being banned by Play! Pokemon for being, in their words, a 'potential health hazard'.

Shockingly, some members of the community were actually appalled by this decision, leading to the creation of a petition asking for the ban to be lifted. Some of the supporters of the petition are lolcows in their own right, honestly, but at least none of them have shit themselves at an event.
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Apparently he is trying out for Pokken Tournament on the Wii U (The Pokemon X Tekken game), wonder how he will fare with the FGC?
 
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