Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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So, if anyone remembers, about eight pages back I posted about how I have an extremely irritating SJW on my Facebook who I refuse to unfriend or block on the grounds of free speech. Anyway, I've realised recently that she posts in bursts. She'll go quiet for a few days and then I'll get a sudden splurge of stuff on my timeline. Why this is I can't say, but I'm assuming there are days at a time she doesn't have access to Facebook which is a mercy for the rest of us.

Every time she posts something she seems to get worse and worse. It's like she's retreating further and further into the hugbox that is SJW culture. Recently I saw two things which brought me very close to unfriending her.

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"You know what?" I thought to myself, "If she doesn't respect free speech why the fuck should I?"
But I pulled myself together and said: "Come on ImportantFart, you have to be better than her."
So she is still on my Facebook. And I'm actually quite glad she is because today I saw this glorious exchange. She posted some video about how the US is bloody unfair to womyn and she'll be moving to Europe to get away from it (lucky us!), when this happened:

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Also, gotta love the editor's note in the video description. Nothing is good enough for these people.
 
I return to the thread, with another cow worthy of derision. This time however, I don't know the cow personally. This cow in particular is the web admin and author of a website called stopturnbull.com. To understand the site, you're unfortunately going to have to listen to some politisperging from yours truly.

Last year in September, Malcolm Turnbull challenged Tony Abbott for the position of leader of the Australian Liberal Party, and ultimately Prime Minister of Australia. Turnbull won, 55-45, becoming our 5th Prime Minister in 5 years. Now, the liberal party is the conservative party in Australian politics, it covers a broad church of right wing leaning people, from idealistic libertarians all the way to authoritarian, religious right sorts.

Ex-PM, Tony Abbott, was of the religious right and was someone who appealed to the hardcore conservative base, and influential conservative commentators in the media. He had been a staunch supporter of the Monarchy when Australia held referendum on whether to become a Republic or not in '99, even becoming it's spokesperson. Overall however, he wasn't a successful PM, with little of his mandate being negotiated past the senate, and him losing 24 opinion polls in a row. The liberal party, now fearing electoral wipeout in 2016 turned to Malcolm, who knifed Abbott in September, 2015.

Malcolm Turnbull belongs to the more center of the party, and was Abbott's rival in the '99 referendum, being spokesperson for the Republic. His assent to the role has brought some popularity back to the party from moderate and left leaning voters. However, the conservative right have for years called Turnbull a careerist rat and a leftist infiltrator. Enter Stop Turnbull.

Stop Turnbull's admin is a conspiracy theorist who believes that our new Prime Minister is a leftist infiltrator. To be fair, their work on the website is competent, and the formatting alright, but the information is hilariously wrong, or skewed to make Turnbull out to be a monster. One of the articles featured on the site is called: Malcolm Turnbull, Paedophilia & Pornography: 8 Disturbing Connections.

http://stopturnbull.com/malcolm-turnbull-paedophilia-child-pornography/

This part of the site IMO is hilarious, since most of it's links are tenuous at best. It tries to use Turnbull's attendence at Mardi Gras to call him a pedophile, simply because he's expressed his support to the pride movement in the past.
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Another supposed link to pedophilia by Turnbull is him being a lawyer who brokered a deal for Playboy to come to Australia in the 70's.
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Also accuses him of supporting pedophilia, simply because he hasn't said he hates Muslims.

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The site also accuses the Australian national broadcaster, the ABC, of trying to take the website down.

http://stopturnbull.com/did-the-abc-try-to-sabotage-stopturnbull-com/

Stop Turnbull also believes that Malcolm will sign Australia's sovereignty away to the UN.
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Some additional craziness.

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Mine is a nut I found on twitter named Harrie Weggelaar. He's been going on for the past thirty years at minimum about his own personal "Atomic theory", or in his native Dutch, Atoomtheorie.
He claims that he's the new Jesus, wrote a new bible (thats online no less) about how his atomic theory supplants it, and how it proves god (it doesnt). His Atomic theory is only just him claiming that atoms are spaceships constructed and piloted by microbeings (of which god is one). He makes a lot of shitty MS paint pics to illustrate his insanity (and recently has gotten into drawing naked women and posting them on his feed) in psychadelic colors. He's also heavily into the philosopher Hegel.
 
I've been debating talking about this personal cow of mine for a bit, but after reading a lot on here, I've decided that she deserves a spot in this thread. I am taking a college Speech class right now, and in it we have a middle aged black woman (the oldest in our class) named Laverne.

To start off, our Speech class is taught by a little old black lady with a doctorate in communication. Why is this important? You'll see soon. Anyway, in our class, we were doing group work and our groups were determined by what number we got. Laverne had gone to the bathroom at the time, so she didn't get one. After we got situated, she got back, and Dr. Professor decided to put her in the group in the back. See, all the other groups were 4-5 people, but this group in the back only had 3. This group in the black had to younger black women, one big one skinny, and an athletic young white guy. Laverne, however, flipped out about this group. She turned to Dr. Professor and started screaming and stomping. "WHY YOU PUTTING ME IN THE BLACK GROUP? JUST CUZ I'M BLACK???" Now, this shocked our Dr. Professor. She didn't even get a word out before Laverne stomped out of the room. The white guy in the group stood up after she left and said "I didn't know I was black?" And now, in class, whenever Laverne isn't there and something goes wrong for Dr. Professor, she says "Is it cuz I'm black?" It is a running joke in our class now.

Also, whenever Laverne does a speech it's always super long and super boring and she usually talks about herself and how great she and the black community is. She's also very big on censorship.
 
chimpburgers said:
Many of the idiots in my sociology class right now I feel are my personal lolcows, particularly this one girl in there who always sounds like she ODed on something everyday. She's one of those pretentious art hipsters and I think is a real life version of all those "social justice warriors" that are frequently talked about here. She even talks really slow. I ought to get a recording of what she sounds like because it's that fucking bad. There's also this black girl that constantly complains about the class and the professor and doesn't shut up and even the professor himself just uses the class to make these red3blog esque political rants all the time. He's part black. Not a bad guy but he is annoying too.
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This is the hipster I was talking about and the sociology class. I managed to get video of this shit with my phone. The video is unlisted and I put it on my Kiwi YouTube account.

 
Since the guy I watch over at work is leaving, I'll be on laundry duty at work starting Friday. So any Roger stories will few and far between. He hasn't had too many news worthy lolcow moments lately. Lately he's been feeling miserable a little more often.
 
chimpburgers said:
This is the hipster I was talking about and the sociology class. I managed to get video of this shit with my phone. The video is unlisted and I put it on my Kiwi YouTube account.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nJV9yudtvJI
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Sounds like typical valley girl inflection to me, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Where I live the slow, lazy, tone along with a lot of filler words is annoyingly common. Actually I had a male(!) college professor who spoke like this. Very slow and bored, almost going into a vocal fry at times, and Christ on a crouton the fucking filler words! There was a "like" and/or "you know" in every sentence. The "you know"s avereged two a minute. I wanted to throttle him.
 
MerriedxReldnahc said:
Sounds like typical valley girl inflection to me, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Where I live the slow, lazy, tone along with a lot of filler words is annoyingly common. Actually I had a male(!) college professor who spoke like this. Very slow and bored, almost going into a vocal fry at times, and Christ on a crouton the fucking filler words! There was a "like" and/or "you know" in every sentence. The "you know"s avereged two a minute. I wanted to throttle him.
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It's odd how that has largely disappeared from the place where it originated from, the San Fernando Valley and more generally the whole LA area, and I'm not referring to its obvious shifting racial and ethnic composition. The people who originally had the "Valley girl" accent only have slight traces of it now. It's almost everywhere else in the US that it's common now.
 
My girlfriend has a couple of lolcows in her family. Well, I'm not sure if they qualify as lolcows or depressingcows but anyhoo, storytime:

I've never actually met Cousin Amber, but from what I've heard she's pretty lolcow-ish. She's never worked a day in her life, lives in a council flat which is paid for by the government and has about five kids from five different men, all but one of whom have been taken into care. She's managed to hold onto the most recent one, but social services have their eye on her and we reckon any day now it'll be taken into care. She pretty much pops a kid out whenever she needs a meal ticket.

Most of the family have no contact with her, and the ones that do barely see her. One of her cousins used to visit her quite regularly and even gave her some money to help with child support, but even she's given her up as a lost cause. Even her Dad only sees her about once a year.

Cousin Brian is pretty much CWC with slightly more self-awareness and no Sonichu or Lovequest. He's in his mid-twenties, still lives with his parents, has no job (never really had one either) and no qualifications. He was pulled out of school around the age of 16 because he was bullied so badly but his parents never tried to find another school which might've suited him better. As a result, he's done absolutely nothing with his life since then. I think he had a construction job for about a week once, but that's it, and it's more or less impossible for him to get a job now because he has a blank CV and no qualifications past GCSE.

The thing is, he's pretty intelligent and could easily get A-Levels or a University degree if he wanted but he's too lazy to do either. He's also incredibly socially inept. He has no friends whatsoever, partly because he dresses and looks like a crazy homeless person. He's going bald on the top of his head, but has grown his hair out shoulder-length and doesn't take very good care of it. Also, he always wears this weird bandanna and dresses the way you would if you were just slobbing out at home or doing the laundry, even when it's a formal occasion. His personality can best be described as if someone took the brain of a twelve-year-old hyped up on sugar and mixed it with the intellect of an A-Level humanities student. Half the time he prances around making an ass of himself and the next he'll try and engage you in spirited intellectual debate. It's one of the oddest combinations I've ever come across.

The family usually only see him at big gatherings like Christmas or Easter and when they do most of them want nothing to do with him. There've been times when we've been out in public with him and a fair few family members have tried to pretend he isn't with us. Fortunately, he hasn't picked up on this, or if he has he doesn't care. I don't know if he has Autism or some other kind of psychiatric disorder (he's never been diagnosed to my knowledge), but he must have something because he's not a normal guy. I'm one of the few people who tolerates him, because:

a) I'm a kind soul and try to see the best in everyone.

b) I was bullied quite badly in school too, so I look at him in a sort of "there but for the grace of God go I" kind of way.

Most of the family's pretty annoyed at his parents for allowing him to live the way he has for as long as he has, but at this stage the damage is done. Like how we have discussions on here about what's going to happen to Chris when Barb dies, we also have discussions about what's going to happen to Brian when his parents die. Neither of his brothers will want to take care of him and nor will any other member of the family. Only time will tell...
 
Norman's job quest has proved fruitless. Mainly because he probably hasn't turned in any applications, if he filled any out at all. He's planning on managing his depression with ketamine. Instead of going to a therapist.

Last night, he called my husband, frantic. He needed to buy some Adderall off my husband (he doesn't have a script and buys it from people who do). He had been partying with two of his friends. One had freaked out during a trip and had run into the street, right into a cop. They barely managed to avoid arrest. The other one stole the Adderall and took off. He needed the Adderall to stay up and help his tripping friend.

My husband told him no and Norman whined and begged for three to five minutes. The call ended at the start of a proper tantrum.
 
I just remembered a Roger moment. He asked me if I had any pets and I told him about my gerbil, Elegance. He mentioned how a gerbil bit him while he was feeding him a carrot and showed me the mark. The thing is he said it was the size of a cat and I couldn't really see a mark when he showed me (he only flashed it for a few seconds). Then he said that his sister (I think) used to have a horse and that one time while he was petting it, it kicked him right in the stomach. I joked that animals must hate him and he agreed because they're always attacking him no matter what he does.
 
I hate to do this as we all love him a lot, but I have a cousin who's a pretty big sadcow. He's serially unlucky in employment and even though he has a job now he still literally lives in his mom's basement and has apparently made no effort to move out despite being in his thirties. He's estranged from his biological father, who divorced his mother (my aunt) when my cousin was very young and who he hasn't seen in more than a decade. His stepfather and half-brothers basically treat him, like, well, the unwanted stepchild. As such he's got a lot of psychological problems including apparently being a conspiracy theorist; he once took me aside during a freaking Christmas party and regaled me with the "story" of how the Rothschild banking family masterminded the Holocaust or something. The Rothschilds are Jewish by the way. This all came to a head recently at my grandmother's 85th birthday party, where he proceeded to get really drunk, hug people uncomfortably tightly, pat me on the head like I was five, and sit awkwardly close to my younger sister, in the presence of the whole family and her boyfriend too.

On the plus side, of his branch of the family he's the closest to my grandmother, so we all like him for that at least.
 
Sorry for the double post but I recalled another cow of my more distant acquaintance than the cousin. This guy was my World History professor my freshman year of college, who I will refer to as Dr. F.

Now for reasons too long and too :powerlevel: to explain here I was going through a tough time in my personal life that particular year and college as such was secondary to me, so I don't remember much about that year, but I DO remember Dr. F, and not in a good way; he was a major exacerbating factor to my other problems. When I first met him, he seemed really cool: he was a young Latino guy with crazy hippie hair and an extremely hammy, scenery-chewing teaching style. Everyone wants that kind of teacher, right? However, I knew exactly what I was in for when, the very first day, he played a song for the class about how Capitalism is responsible for all history's ills. Dr. F, see, was a devotee of the old "everything you know about history is wrong" school of history.

Oh yeah, that kind of history professor.

His curriculum was interesting in theory: he was trying to tell a "bottom-up" version of history from the perspective of ordinary people. Unfortunately, this translated into trying to push his politics on us every single lesson. Whatever your politics are, I don't think that's something a teacher should do, at least not in the really over-the-top way he did it. I'd imagine he was probably a devotee of Zinn, Chomsky, and such, and he tried everything he could to drill it into our heads that all your favorite historical heroes were actually villains, the real heroes were the unsung masses getting trampled beneath the jackboots, yaddayaddayadda. Adding to this, he was actually known to flat-out lie about history to suit his agenda, such as when he claimed Alberto Santos-Dumont was the actual inventor of the airplane, and his accomplishments were intentionally buried in favor of the Wright Brothers'. I look it up later and whaddaya know - it really WAS the Wrights! Adding to this... his lessons were just BORING. Like I said, the bottom-up approach to history is interesting in theory but in practice it couldn't keep my interest at all. This may just be a personal thing but I actually like following individual figures when learning about history.

Oh, and he was a Muslim Brotherhood sympathizer, and wanted them to take over Egypt (I had his class right after Mubarak resigned). Gee, that went well. About the only good thing I can say about him is that he played a pretty awesome pirate shanty for us one day.

To anyone else who has had to put up with a cow in a position of authority, I salute you. It's not fun.
 
Pinball Lizard said:
Sorry for the double post but I recalled another cow of my more distant acquaintance than the cousin. This guy was my World History professor my freshman year of college, who I will refer to as Dr. F.

Now for reasons too long and too :powerlevel: to explain here I was going through a tough time in my personal life that particular year and college as such was secondary to me, so I don't remember much about that year, but I DO remember Dr. F, and not in a good way; he was a major exacerbating factor to my other problems. When I first met him, he seemed really cool: he was a young Latino guy with crazy hippie hair and an extremely hammy, scenery-chewing teaching style. Everyone wants that kind of teacher, right? However, I knew exactly what I was in for when, the very first day, he played a song for the class about how Capitalism is responsible for all history's ills. Dr. F, see, was a devotee of the old "everything you know about history is wrong" school of history.

Oh yeah, that kind of history professor.

His curriculum was interesting in theory: he was trying to tell a "bottom-up" version of history from the perspective of ordinary people. Unfortunately, this translated into trying to push his politics on us every single lesson. Whatever your politics are, I don't think that's something a teacher should do, at least not in the really over-the-top way he did it. I'd imagine he was probably a devotee of Zinn, Chomsky, and such, and he tried everything he could to drill it into our heads that all your favorite historical heroes were actually villains, the real heroes were the unsung masses getting trampled beneath the jackboots, yaddayaddayadda. Adding to this, he was actually known to flat-out lie about history to suit his agenda, such as when he claimed Alberto Santos-Dumont was the actual inventor of the airplane, and his accomplishments were intentionally buried in favor of the Wright Brothers'. I look it up later and whaddaya know - it really WAS the Wrights! Adding to this... his lessons were just BORING. Like I said, the bottom-up approach to history is interesting in theory but in practice it couldn't keep my interest at all. This may just be a personal thing but I actually like following individual figures when learning about history.

Oh, and he was a Muslim Brotherhood sympathizer, and wanted them to take over Egypt (I had his class right after Mubarak resigned). Gee, that went well. About the only good thing I can say about him is that he played a pretty awesome pirate shanty for us one day.

To anyone else who has had to put up with a cow in a position of authority, I salute you. It's not fun.
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I had an instructor like that for a political theory class my sophomore year. He was a PhD student from Ecuador, and he had us write papers about how the power of music can change the world, an episode of House (either the one with the Jewish porn star with an immunity disorder or the one with the girl who had testicles instead of ovaries; I can't remember which one, since those are the only two episodes of House I've seen), and other ridiculous things. He tried to steer all class conversations to how socialism and communism were the only solutions to the world's problems. He would say that he had worked for Correa in Ecuador, and wold throw bricks through windows and set police cars on fire (he also later claimed that the CIA rigged the election so Correa would win, and that's why he had to come to the United States). He broke down crying at the end of the semester because most students had stopped showing up to class. The whole thing was a clusterfuck. He had already been working on his PhD for, at a minimum, two or three years at that point, and was still working on it four years later when I was finishing my master's degree, so I think he's been kicked out by now.
 
Picklechu said:
The whole thing was a clusterfuck. He had already been working on his PhD for, at a minimum, two or three years at that point, and was still working on it four years later when I was finishing my master's degree, so I think he's been kicked out by now.
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There are people who are ABD (All But Dissertation) for literally decades.

It is a very sad and pathetic level of Hell.
 
There's a guy in one of my classes who has no indoor voice, no sense of personal space, wears the exact same set of clothes every day and is prone to shouting at other students who deliberately act out in order to get attention. If that wasn't bad enough, he's also a major weeb, frequently quotes Naruto, and states how he wants to go to Japan to design new Pokémon, but can't draw at all. He's like the Chris-Chan of my school.
 
The saga of Norman continues

Yesterday, he goes to pick up his dad from the casino. He gets there, finds out he doesn't have his licence on him. This is a guy who has driven multiple times while fucked up on several kinds of drugs with no hesitation (we stop him whenever we can but usually hear about it the next day). Calls my husband and begs him for a ride. Husband obliges and leaves. We're at Norman's mother's house already because Husband is giving their dog a haircut. When he arrives at the casino, Norman is all 'cool, you take my dad in your car and I'll follow you guys home'.

My husband basically yells at Norman to get in the fucking car. Norman then throws a tantrum the whole way back, apparently. When they return, he basically kicks down the door and runs up to the bathroom because he has the shits. He then spends ten minutes yelling at his mommy in a way that reminded me of Eric Cartman. I watched her rummage through the kitchen for Pepto and she gave him expired ones. Not that I told her. It probably did nothing but the small victories are what counts.

Edit: his mom also buys him socks and underwear. I don't know why that surprises me, but it does.
 
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