- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I strongly suspect she is now a female loveshy, of the tumblr variety or perhaps more mainstream.
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
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I strongly suspect she is now a female loveshy, of the tumblr variety or perhaps more mainstream.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
She's probably secretly pissed it's not her as Belle in the live action movie because no one else possibly loves Beauty and the Beast as much as she does. But she'll still see it ten times, download the soundtrack on iTunes, and buy it on DVD, Blu-ray, and digital download.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Betting she had a raging hateboner for Gaston too even though he was arguably the best character in the movie.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2013
two thing here
1. the exceptionalism of a family pulling a child out of school for a wedding of another daughter (of course this may have been a excuse and she dropped out )
2. Good thing she didn't have a boyfriend or the poor would have had to
a) dressed in a blue tail coat with breaches or,
b) dressed in a full on beast outfit complete with head
In any event he would have look terrible
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2017
May not be LOLcow-ish but there was a guy at my school who was able to get his mixtape to play during the school dance during the slow dance.
They had to cut it 30 seconds in because he swore more than a drunken pirate for an kid like him.
They had to cut it 30 seconds in because he swore more than a drunken pirate for an kid like him.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
No, I'm pretty sure there really was something going on because a classmate that lived near Annabelle said nobody was home before she briefly returned in April (I guess I should have mentioned that sooner). We probably just figured a family member died or something.
And yes, I've always found it incredibly odd that everybody dropped everything to be so involved in the wedding planning. Why couldn't they just do it over the phone, or email, or video chat? I guess when you're willing to drop thousands of dollars on a prom dress you're lacking some logic brain cells. At any rate they were clearly rushing this wedding, in my opinion because the sister got knocked up and needed to attempt to cover it up with marriage (there could also be religious reasons in there too).
I'm sure every guy in the school then was grateful their preparation for prom didn't involve going to the rental costume shop instead of the tux rental place. Not even freshman are that desperate to attend prom.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2013
I'm amsuming she wasn't any Emma Watson either?
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
The recent salt related to the election of the Orange Faced One reminded me of someone I used to be friends with before he turned into a complete nutbar. The actual story of his transformation into said nutbar isn't very amusing unless you count the time he decided he lived at California Pizza Kitchen but that a whole different story. Anyway, he comes to mind because during the end of the Bush presidency he made it very clear that he hated our POTUS. He would shout out his hatred to Bush in the middle of the lunch quad, saying he was the antichrist and that he ate babies. I...kind of think he was serious? I mean this guy was pretty stupid so he may legitimately thought that this lovable goofball of a commander-in-chief was the Beast of the Earth who shall summon the Whore of Babylon. The eatery of babies thing may have been a joke but when the school weirdo is hollering about George W. Bush eating babies whilst holding a sign that says "George W Bush eats babies" one has to wonder. If you asked for proof he would just argue that it was common sense. He even brought it into school assignments. In health class his powerpoint on drugs was basically about how Bush was a cokehead (or something). A paper on what he would do with 100,000 dollars was an elaborate plan to assassinate Bush by means of a "poisonous pickle pool"( a kiddie pool full of pickle juice allowed to ferment to lethal levels in which the president would be submerged in.)
Of course he hated McCain and Palin too hey, I can understand hating Palin and anyone not voting for Obama was automatically a bad person. He's probably over the moon right now over having a president that he can harangue about without people questioning his sanity.
Of course he hated McCain and Palin too hey, I can understand hating Palin and anyone not voting for Obama was automatically a bad person. He's probably over the moon right now over having a president that he can harangue about without people questioning his sanity.
Captain Lhurgoyf
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
I work at an animal shelter, and for a while there was this guy in his 50s who kept posting comments on our Facebook page that were some of the most ridiculous and insane shit I have ever seen. He once posted a comment on a completely unrelated post saying that he would donate several pounds of dog food to the shelter "as soon as the banks started accepting ketchup as currency". Naturally, we found this hilarious, and we'd spend a lot of our breaks looking for this guy's posts to see what lunacy he'd dreamed up this time. Eventually, we decided to check his own page to see what he posted on his wall, which included such choice cuts as a post where he was complaining about how he was being accused of catcalling women because he was yelling "hey, bubba" out the window as they walked past when he was actually calling to his dog, Bubba, and a video he uploaded where he called his wife a "cow patty brain." Then he stopped posting comments one day and we never heard from him since.
mulliganfarmer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2016
If I wasn't so paranoid about him finding this thread and using it as an excuse to bother me again, I would link you (the guy I was seeing during the Botherguts era has stalked me for ten years so I'm a bit cagey). I might grow some balls at some point and post but I really, really don't want to out myself.
So in this part, I'd like to introduce some of the other people I got to know through Botherguts, but first I'd like to talk about how he got me stranded during an active bomb threat.
I mentioned when talking about the content of the comic that Botherguts' inking process was to mark off inking places in pencil and go over them, assuming they would be covered. Unfortunately a high-resolution scanner will pick up on those areas so when we went to get them printed the pages were covered in pale little crosses. On top of that, the CD was so badly scratched that half of the pages were mangled.
This is probably a huge tell as to what country we're based in, but Botherguts had decided to get the printing done across the border in an area that was known for terrorist activity, because it was slightly cheaper. This entailed a three-hour bus journey and an overnight stay in an area that was dangerous even by the standards of this region. However, once the problems with the CD and the pages were discovered, Botherguts had a great big foot-stomping meltdown over the wasted journey, and wanting to save the effort I offered to take the bus back to his house, fix the pages in photoshop, load it all onto a USB key and get back for printing the next day.
It took hours to run the photoshop repairs, and by the time I got on the bus for another three hours it was already dark. The bus had to run through a new checkpoint because a bomb threat had been issued and the whole region, particularly the city, was on high alert. We were warned not to make any unnecessary journeys. Around this time I was trying to call Botherguts to arrange where he was to meet me, but he wasn't answering his phone.
Bus pulled in, everyone got off, I was stranded in the city and Botherguts was nowhere to be found. He had arranged for me to spend the night at a female friend of his brothers' but hadn't told me where she lived so I could make my own way out, and even if I had known the taxis weren't running. My phone was running out of battery and I had nowhere to go. In total I think I called him around 30-50 times. Please remember that I was nineteen, very sheltered and had hardly been outside the country before.
Finally a passing police car asked what I was doing on the street and I explained what was going on. They took me to the station, which was more like a military base, and charged my phone for me. Botherguts then decided to pick up his phone at the grand old time of 1am and gave me the address I was to go to, where the woman I was staying with was worried sick. The police drove me there.
After that, I always made my own travel arrangements. And he never thanked me.
...
Botherguts did manage to gather some talented people for his comic, but Dave was not exactly one of them. Picture the serial killer from Wolf Creek but with murder replaced with endless monologues about Dr Who, and you've got Dave.
Dave lived with his wife in a tiny little cottage that was always kept heated to tropical, supposedly so they wouldn't get homesick for Australia. He was fifty and he had open contempt for Botherguts, which Botherguts himself seemed to miss, even when Dave was clearly laughing at him. He was obsessed with TV shows but mostly Dr Who, and could turn any conversation into a Dr Who Ted Talk. I think he knew when you were just nodding along to be polite but kept going for shits and giggles.
He smoked a lot of pot. As in, round the clock, all day and all night. I must have been coming home stinking of weed from being in his house but my parents never seemed to notice. I never smoked it myself but I got a lot of contact highs. He solicited me for sex twice, which I politely turned down.
His art was pretty good, but it was incomprehensible. Sort of like if Salvador Dali and Gary Larson did a webcomic together. He was the most interesting member of the team, everyone else was pretty ordinary and not really worth talking about.
...
Steven was an old friend of Botherguts, no involvement in the comic and mostly of interest because Botherguts saw himself as so clearly superior to Steven. Apparently Botherguts had catered Steven's wedding and the food was so good that nobody realized it was vegetarian. (I would call bullshit, but this was said in front of Steven and he didn't refute it.) Botherguts had cooked for me before, and the results were....not good. Even discounting the low level of hygiene he was known for.
Steven was another of Bothergut's friends who had married an Asian woman, and although Botherguts didn't hate this one like he hated Molly, he made a lot of jokes about Steven having to carry her pink luggage around for her, as this apparently meant Steven was less of a man. Steven was in good shape, relatively good looking, had a decent job and married so Botherguts just had to try and bring him down somehow, but I could never figure out why Steven kept hanging out with him.
At some point, Steven just cut contact and we never heard from him or about him again. This happened to Botherguts quite a lot.
...
I spoke about Paul's wife Molly, but not so much about Paul himself. Paul was Bothergut's oldest friend, I think they had been in school together. He was an intellectual guy, really great to talk to about history, literature and art but he was a nervous sort, a bit twitchy. The kind of guy that's easy to talk over, which Botherguts did a lot.
Paul had a lot of things Botherguts was probably jealous of; he could drive, he owned a house and he was married to an Asian woman. So Botherguts insisted on getting Paul to drive him around, he complained that his house was cold and run-down and he thought Paul's wife was a demanding hell-beast.
On one occasion that really makes me cringe looking back, a TV show that Botherguts was mildly obsessed with was being rebooted and he wanted to watch the premiere. It was recorded, but his younger brother refused to let him watch it in his bedroom (as he had a right to do) and Botherguts threw a strop. Next thing I know (as I'm sitting in his living room correcting a script) we're going to Paul's house to watch it. I don't know if he called Paul and was refused, or if we were just turning up unannounced, but either way you could tell Paul was furious.
He offered me tea and biscuits but ignored Botherguts, which Botherguts laughed at. I made small talk with Molly, who showed me her latest painting, and of course Botherguts had to throw out a criticism. We watched the premiere in awkward silence, and when it was finished Botherguts insisted on being given a lift back. To really gild the lily, Botherguts asked to stop at a takeaway on the way back, but Paul finally put his foot down.
...
As an aside, let me tell you about his eating habits, because Botherguts had to be exceptional in all areas.
He was a vegetarian, but also morbidly obese because he consumed everything in massive quantities. His favourite takeaway was a curry tray, rice and chips (french fries) covered in curry sauce, and he would bring this home to put it on a slice of bread. Four different types of carbohydrate, washed down with half a litre of coke.
When we went to the cinema, which we did quite a lot, he would go to Mcdonald's first and then sneak in the bag to eat as a snack. A whole Mcdonald's meal as a snack. And then dinner afterwards.
He ate hardly any vegetables, his diet was all starch and sugar. It probably contributed to the smell he gave off.
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
My friends and I have a pet lolcow, we call him 'the Danish".
He started out harmless, but eventually he ended up stalking several girls and threatening people with lawsuits and violence.
Part 1: the first encounter
I have so many stories.
Do you guys wanna hear about how he spent 14,000$ on hot topic garbage? His embarrassing law class antics? Him being fucking retarded at tabletop games? Or how his standards are so low that he dated a downie
He started out harmless, but eventually he ended up stalking several girls and threatening people with lawsuits and violence.
Part 1: the first encounter
When I first met the manboy that would soon be known as the Danish, my friends and I were killing time between classes in our college "cafeteria", playing cards. In walks an another friend of ours, followed by what looks like a 16 year old kid in a fucking ash from Pokemon getup I shit you the fuck not, who wouldn't stop yammering. I wave and she came over, along with the yammering idiot. Her and I begin to ask all the standard pleasantries ( "Hi, how are you? do you still have that rash?" that sort of thing) and the kid butts in and starts talking about anime. Now I didn't like the guy before he started interrupting me, mainly due to the fact that he was dressed like a fag and his shit was very clearly all retarded.
But as he kept talking ( which my friend used an excuse to get away from the annoying prick) I realized I knew him from somewhere.
He was in the law class before mine and would yammer to the professor about anime after class while I was just getting there.
But as he kept talking ( which my friend used an excuse to get away from the annoying prick) I realized I knew him from somewhere.
He was in the law class before mine and would yammer to the professor about anime after class while I was just getting there.
I have so many stories.
Do you guys wanna hear about how he spent 14,000$ on hot topic garbage? His embarrassing law class antics? Him being fucking retarded at tabletop games? Or how his standards are so low that he dated a downie
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2014
Is he the irl love child of Chris griffin and Chris chan? Seriously I wanna hear the rest of these.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2013
His law class attic sound interesting .... from the lawsuits you mention I would expect he is one those "I took law in college(meaning a class) therefore I'm a lawyer type" and the antic would be funny
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
He's actually quite skinny, he's 5'7" and maybe 120 pounds. His face however, is the most punchable mug I've ever seen. He legitimately looks like a weasel. He dresses like a hipster neckbeard, with trench coats, scarfs, ironic t-shirts, and sometimes hipster glasses. He will color coordinate his backpack to his jacket.
He does share one huge similarity to OPL, He's homophobic as fuck and flips his shit if you call him gay.
He's never thought of himself as a lawyer, he's just fucking rich as fucking fuck. But his grandparents won't let him have any of it until he finishes college.
I doubt he will ever get his money, because the guy is a fucking moron.
Part 2: the Danish in law class
The professor that we both had was a 6'4" former homicide cop, who looked like Mike from breaking bad, and was in Harlem during the civil Rights riots.
Is you were late, he would call you out on it. If you were sleeping in class he would wake you up and give you the most shit. But if you did something that was just fucking stupid he would start making jokes at your expense.
Me and the professor were Bros, so a while back I asked him if the Danish ever did anything stupid.
-The Danish drew him and the professor as superheroes and gave the drawing to Prof.
-He made Prof a cardboard name tag and gave it to him.
-He somehow got a 7/100 on a test, the worst that anyone had ever done in profs entire 20 years of teaching.
-He especially couldn't understand why stalking laws in our state (CA) are so strong.
-He tried to turn in a test that was done in colored pencils.
Needless to say, he was viciously made fun of, and wasn't aware of it.
Is you were late, he would call you out on it. If you were sleeping in class he would wake you up and give you the most shit. But if you did something that was just fucking stupid he would start making jokes at your expense.
Me and the professor were Bros, so a while back I asked him if the Danish ever did anything stupid.
-The Danish drew him and the professor as superheroes and gave the drawing to Prof.
-He made Prof a cardboard name tag and gave it to him.
-He somehow got a 7/100 on a test, the worst that anyone had ever done in profs entire 20 years of teaching.
-He especially couldn't understand why stalking laws in our state (CA) are so strong.
-He tried to turn in a test that was done in colored pencils.
Needless to say, he was viciously made fun of, and wasn't aware of it.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
How's that hard to understand? Isn't it pretty much "Hollywood?"
I know there are a couple notorious cases of people doing shit like getting DMV records and then going and murdering someone they were stalking, but isn't it just mostly Hollywood?
Captain Lhurgoyf
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
I want to hear about his tabletop game exploits. Those always seem pretty good for a laugh.
Also, if I may ask, why is he called the Danish?
Also, if I may ask, why is he called the Danish?
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2016
His original nickname was "lesser Daniel" or "other Daniel", because one of guys in my group of friends was named Danny, and was functionally illiterate at 21 and not very bright. He made up for it by being the best, most bro guy you could ever meet.
Danish had all the negative qualities of Danny (stupid), but none of the positive qualities (being a good person).
Then the nickname mutated to "Dan-ish", and finally "The Danish".
We had a few other funnicknames for him:
-Ratboy
-Fuckbad the tardbarian
-Typhoid Mary (because he would insist on hanging out with people even when he was sick)
-Mister retardo
-Captian faggot
-White honky Nordic nigga bitch
We would call him all of these, to his face and he was too stupid to realize that we didn't like him.
I have tabletop stories, one where I'm the one running, one wher my cousin is running, and one where the Danish is running.
Part 3: the Danish almost breaks my system by being retarded
A little background on my tabletop system, just so everything makes more sense.
It's set in a world that is surreal as fuck, and everything is 2005 but with magic. Shit gets weird really fast and just about anything goes.
The thing I did as to try and make my system unique was to add blessings and curses, that you get during character creation by rolling a d100 for 2 blessings and 2 curses
Roll a 2 in curses and you just fart a lot and have a harder time being stealthy
Roll a 48 and you take damage when you fail a charisma roll
Roll a 99 and you have full-blown AIDS
And if you roll a 1 on a d20 at any point, be it combat, barter, or driving, you fall over, shit your pants, and take 1d4 emotional damage.
Danish's character got as a curse ",the breath of 1000 assholes" which is a -4 to charisma but only when speaking
He also had the blessings "charade master" which give you a +3 to charisma when miming.
Now instead of using this to his advantage and telling people out of character what he was going to mime and then rolling, he decided to just keep talking.
With a -4 to specifically speaking.
He ended up rolling a natural 1 while talking to an NPC that was a bard that flew on a banjo and smoked a shitload of weed.
After his -4 he was at a -3 out of 20
The bard punched his character so hard in the ass that he ended up shoulder deep inside, and the only way to save him was to polymorph his character into a muppet man so he wouldn't die of anal devastation.
He ended up dying the next session after getting eaten alive by a 50 foot tall O.J. Simpson.
It's set in a world that is surreal as fuck, and everything is 2005 but with magic. Shit gets weird really fast and just about anything goes.
The thing I did as to try and make my system unique was to add blessings and curses, that you get during character creation by rolling a d100 for 2 blessings and 2 curses
Roll a 2 in curses and you just fart a lot and have a harder time being stealthy
Roll a 48 and you take damage when you fail a charisma roll
Roll a 99 and you have full-blown AIDS
And if you roll a 1 on a d20 at any point, be it combat, barter, or driving, you fall over, shit your pants, and take 1d4 emotional damage.
Danish's character got as a curse ",the breath of 1000 assholes" which is a -4 to charisma but only when speaking
He also had the blessings "charade master" which give you a +3 to charisma when miming.
Now instead of using this to his advantage and telling people out of character what he was going to mime and then rolling, he decided to just keep talking.
With a -4 to specifically speaking.
He ended up rolling a natural 1 while talking to an NPC that was a bard that flew on a banjo and smoked a shitload of weed.
After his -4 he was at a -3 out of 20
The bard punched his character so hard in the ass that he ended up shoulder deep inside, and the only way to save him was to polymorph his character into a muppet man so he wouldn't die of anal devastation.
He ended up dying the next session after getting eaten alive by a 50 foot tall O.J. Simpson.
- Joined
- May 3, 2016
This system is awesome. Lol. 50 foot OJ Simpson?! Lol :')
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2014
So it looks like (unfortunately) I won't be able to record new tracks for a while, so here are some ones I have finished. These are the first of @Darwin Watterson's Jeffrey stories. I intend to do more, but there are a lot of them and it will take time. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm not dead and give you all something to tide you over.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
You did a great job on these and captured his manner of speaking pretty well. Like I said, true art takes time, so no rush, you magnificent bastard, you.