Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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This is something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while. There’s a YouTuber I used to watch when I was younger known as OriginalBloodAce. Remember that old social media thing on the Wii U, Miiverse? No? I’m not surprised. That’s probably why not as many people know who this guy is. He has several videos where he screams about being banned on Miiverse. Usually due to him, a grown man in his 20s at the time, getting into a fight with a 11 year old on Miiverse.

In this video, he screams at the top of his lungs over a child named Xavier getting his account banned, threatening him and Nintendo over the ban. This is one of the videos where he’s at his worst, and this video paints the picture of what kind of person OBA is. He also has numerous videos of him “exposing” imposters of him on Miiverse, threatening legal action and to rape and kill in a few cases. I didn’t exactly want to watch his videos to find the exact cases, but some are also probably lost to time.

OriginalBloodAce’s identity is a Canadian man named John Tulloch. He was very open about his name being John, present in his YouTube description even, and matching his face and voice with the above video prove that they are the same person. He was arrested in 2016, a day after his final uploaded video, for possession of CP. This article reveals that he possessed over 10k pictures and over 200 videos of CP, and a majority of them were of children under five. It also reveals what we all probably figured out by now, that John has never had a girlfriend, still lives in his mother’s basement, and has had a porn addiction since his teenage years.

I can’t find a source of this anymore, as so many videos have been lost to time, but I distinctly remember seeing someone say that the police were once called to his home for a noise complaint, likely during his second perma ban video. He also reportedly asked anyone who would listen to subscribe to his retarded YouTube channel. John was also xenophobic to anyone not Canadian; mostly towards Americans and the UK. John even has his own website, filled with plagiarized news articles and a retarded fanfiction of himself known as The Adventures of Nin-Dragon. John also sees himself as a diety and a god, how lovely.

Despite having been out of jail since 2018 and off probabtion since around 2021, John still hasn’t returned to the internet. All of his accounts are dormant, the only possible exception being his Steam account, as searching for OriginalBloodAce or any of his other known aliases yield no results. There’s also a YouTuber by the name of Michael Mikey, who used to make videos “calling out” OBA. In his most recent video about him, he discusses many of the things mentioned above, but also how OBA commented on a face reveal he did as a child, seemingly being disappointed that he looked older than he actually was. Michael also mentions how a friend of his supposedly once heard OBA jerking it to kiddie porn in a voice call they were in. The supposed friend was under 18 at the time. There’s no evidence to support this, but knowing what I’ve listed above, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Either way, it’s nice to put this all somewhere. The only video I can find that does an okay job of discussing OBA’s internet presence is this one. I forgot about John until a few months ago, and learning all this made me sick to my stomach. I decided to post this to see if anyone else remembered him, due to the fact I can’t seem to find much of any discussion about him.


ADDITIONAL LINKS
First Miiverse account (ARCHIVE)
Second Miiverse account (ARCHIVE)
Final Miiverse account (ARCHIVE) (curiously, this one has a post from August 2017, nearly a year and a half after he was arrested)
Dead Twitter
 
Fellow Kiwis, I'd like to present a story I call Little Aramco on the Prairie. Allow me to introduce you to HWY 1 Save on Gas in Walsh, Alberta, Canada, and its owner, one Anwar Kamaran. This is something between skitzo horrorcow and laughing at a foreigner being antisocial. As you will come to see Anwar is a proper cow and a real piece of work on top of it all.
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He is a recently discovered personal cow that might warrant a proper thread if this gets enough attention. He reminded me enough of BMJ and Chris Chan that I couldn't resist the write-up.


Enter Anwar
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"For you my friend? Best deal, cheapest carpet"

Right now, you are probably asking yourself: "Merry, what's funny or interesting about some Arab running a gas station in the middle of buttfuck nowhere?". Excellent question!

Anwar is a very strange person, while also managing to be your typical third-world to first-world transplant who views ambitious striving in the new country as his highest calling. He notably ran for the Alberta Liberal Party (see: party that never wins Canadian Texas, ever), managing to obtain a whopping 219 votes. According to the below article about his assault on his business rival he is "an accomplished musician, bodybuilder and kickboxer who speaks seven languages".

My spidey senses were tingling the moment I read that last line, bullshit boasting detected, and a quick investigation showed the truth of that.

Anwar is a wonderful example of what happens when an unethical thug merchant from the Levant is dumped into a high trust society. Anwar seems to be scamming people so blatantly and retardedly, that it's incredible he's still in business. When business reviews mention this or criticize his behavior and attitude, he replies in hilarious rambling broken English. He has constructed a narrative that people are out to get him, and spreading "propaganda" about him to that end.

He made the CBC for assaulting, harassing, and likely vandalizing the rival gas station across the road in 2020 (A). Notably, this included multiple assaults on the family of his rival. In 2023 Anwar was charged with uttering threats and failure to comply with probation. In 2024, Anwar was convicted of threatening to kill two brothers for the crime of bailing grass.

Anwar not being on the first plane back to the Middle East is a mystery that gets deeper the more you investigate.
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CHEAPEST GASOLINE IN THIS HWY
What use is a circus without a stage? Anwar's stage is his gas station and its business reviews. According to his business rival, one Mr. Shoesmith, Anwar took over HWY 1 Save on Gas in 2019. Since then, it has been a steady decline into chaos. Issues range from *tipping* for pumping your own gas, gas that bricks your engine, bathrooms filled with flies and garbage, rancid food, fraud, and schizophrenia the dreaded propaganda club.

When you approach Anwar's station one of the first things you will probably notice is this rambling grammar disaster. The locals are not fond of Anwar.
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Anwar displays third-world schizo rants on the side of the semi, this exhibit is from two years ago. I'm not sure what "ulstrating" was supposed to be, because illustrating and ululating doesn't work here either.
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An astute eye will notice that Anwar's writing style is an eccentric blend of Chris Chan rambling and rug merchant trying to swindle you. This is even more evident in his replies to reviews. Also, he HATES it when you mention the gas station across the street. Don't be fooled by the insanely high amount of reviews for a rural Canadian gas station, he pressures people into such such reviews, we've all been there with those types of business owners.
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If there's any doubt, yes, Anwar himself is the one asking for "tips" on gas.
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Woe unto any cracker wignats brave enough to visit.
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Prepare to pay $20 for a drink and some chips.
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Oh, he's watering it down, of course.

Not even the washer fluid is safe...
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Scamming (more than already)
Anwar is certainly a scammer, not only in Canada with his business practices, but in Iraq. A Canadian YouTuber covered Anwar, and uncovered allegations of him engaging in 250k of fraud targeting Iraqis.

According to dozens of reviews on gasbuddy, Anwar tacks hidden charges onto gas transactions, and is known to assault customers who notice and keep the receipts.
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According to HWY 1 Gas's Google maps page, Anwar is lying to take money from gullible retards a proud trans xister.
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Summary
Anwar is an easily prodded criminal retard who lies and scams people for a living, he is worth watching just for his replies on Google Maps to people he wronged. He knowingly abuses the politeness and generosity of one of the few societies in the world that wouldn't lynch him for this. The locals hate him, and so do many of his customers evidently. The countdown till he assaults a customer seriously enough to be charged again has already begun.

Too lazy to phonebook after writing all that for now, he lives behind the gas station though :story:
 

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Merry said:
He knowingly abuses the politeness and generosity of one of the few societies in the world that wouldn't lynch him for this
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Any information on tax fraud from him? Because if he's going out of his way to water down his gas and lie about everything else, it's kind of weird for him not to go all the way and try to scam the government
 
NerdShamer said:
Any information on tax fraud from him? Because if he's going out of his way to water down his gas and lie about everything else, it's kind of weird for him not to go all the way and try to scam the government
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Probably that and card skimming; but not at the moment. The thing with details like tax fraud is that they tend to stay behind closed doors.
 
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In the day since I posted about Anwar, two more funny reviews were made

If I make a thread, I will need to mention the $10 parking fees he seems to love attempting to charge to random semi truck drivers for parking near the property, and some reviews being faked by him. Forgot those little details
 
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Probably stretching the rules of what can even be considered a "lolcow", but the Chrysler corporation. A car company that has always had the fundamental puzzle pieces of a successful and profitable business, but can never just seem to put them together right. They're either making great cars nobody asked for, or making dogshit cars that sell like absolute hotcakes.

Like the other American manufacturers, they missed the boat on compacts after the oil crisis. Came out with the Aspen and the Volare to compete in the compact market, they were terrible cars that got recalled a ton of times. Company is shitting the bed, gets bailed out. Lee Iacocca, probably the only non-retarded man to ever helm Chrysler, turns the company around within a matter of years and they sell millions of K-cars. That platform served as the basis for the OG Chrysler minivans, which in turn makes them so much money they're able to pay off their bailout loan. In 1987, Chrysler buys Jeep, which is both the smartest move they ever made as a company and also the last smart thing they ever did.

In 1992 Iacocca leaves and everything starts to go to shit again. Despite now owning the ORIGINAL 4x4 company, Chrysler misses the boat on the family SUV trend. The Ford Explorer debuted in 1992 and almost immediately did gangbusters. It took Chrysler until 1998 to get a non-Jeep SUV, the Durango, to market. It then had to contend with the aforementioned Explorer, the Tahoe, Yukon, Blazer, 4Runner, Expedition, Rodeo, and just a whole plethora of contenders, with the company continuing to focus on poorly-built sedans as the SUV craze raged on and minivans fell out of fashion. Oh, also they merged with Daimler (the company that owns Mercedes) in 1998. Why? Great question. I don't think either company knew why, and the merger was of little consequence for the vehicles each company actually produced.

Chrysler never went big on SUVs until the 2000s, pouring money into Jeep for the Commander, the new Grand Cherokee, as well as a Durango refresh and a rebadged variant, the Chrysler Aspen. (No relation to the Dodge Aspen. They just reused the name on a completely unrelated vehicle 30 years later. Chrysler just does shit like that.) They did this just in time for the high gas prices of the 2000s as well as the fucking 2008 market crash. Yet again, they were left with a portfolio of vehicles that would have been perfect a decade ago but right now are bleeding them dry. This is the part when they went bankrupt and got bailed out again, for the second time in thirty years. Oh, also the Daimler partnership falls apart around this time.

After the bailout, Chrysler basically changed nothing. Their cars continued to be either beige-flavored econoboxes that are worse than their competitors or interesting vehicles that don't have mass appeal and don't make them any money. At this point Jeep and Ram trucks are the only thing keeping them afloat. Oh, also they miss the boat on the 2010s crossover trend. Jeep gets the Compass and Dodge gets the Journey and Cherokee, and that's basically their entire portfolio of crossovers for the entire company.

Chrysler then gets mergered again, this time with, of all the god damn brands in the fucking automotive world, Fiat. Build quality nosedives again. Both the Dodge and Chrysler brands at this point are left with, like, three vehicles each. Jeep and Ram are their only lifeline. The unholy Fiat Chrysler Alliance then gets mergerered yet again, absorbed by Stellantis, which is basically a massive conglomerate of all the automaker nameplates that used to actually mean something. Chrysler as it was once known no longer really exists. It, and all of its brands, have been absorbed by private equity as part of a company whose goal seems solely to be to make shitty, mediocre automobiles.

This is kind of a limited and half-assed recollection of the company's history and is arguably just me sperging about something 95% of this forum doesn't give a fuck about, but to me they're THE lolcow car company. I think they've genuinely made some very interesting and conceptually neat vehicles, but outside of a fleeting window in the 1980s they've spent the last 50 years just fucking their shit up. They're either missing out on the current trend or betting big on something just as it falls out of favour. If you're into cars, I recommend reading about them a little more. It's just dumb decision after unfortunate folly after corporate mismanagement after dumb decision.
 
Csn I apply to be a lolcow? im a severe alcoholic I draw shit O hate my life fuck I need help man I really need help I need help oh god I keep drinking I dont wanna but ai keep drinking im bannedxeverywhwrexdudexfuk
 
I knew a guy that:
  • Believed that 2D (anime) women are better than 3D (real) women.
  • Always wore a green and black checkered coat like the main character from demon slayer
  • Thought him farting was peak comedy
  • Tried to enter conversations that did not involve him since no one would talk to him
  • Made all of the women around him visibly uncomfortable
  • Always had greasy hair with a beard resembling public hair
  • Looked at hentai on a public computer
  • Referenced being a poster on 4chan's /r9k/ board
  • Probably 80 IQ
I didn't know him that long though.
 
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Jershua Coomer Troon said:
I knew a guy that:
  • Believed that 2D (anime) women are better than 3D (real) women. Always wore a green and black checkered coat like the main character from demon slayer
  • Thought him farting was peak comedy
  • Tried to enter conversations that did not involve him since no one would talk to him
  • Made all of the women around him visibly uncomfortable
  • Always had greasy hair with a beard resembling public hair
  • Looked at hentai on a public computer
  • Referenced being a poster on 4chan's /r9k/ board
  • Probably 80 IQ
I didn't know him that long though.
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I didn't expect The Gator Gamer to catch a stray in this thread, but I should have in hindsight.
 
Mr. Racewar1488 said:
The discord admin was retarded and purged everything she posted before I could grab everything but yeah, she has grey eyes. She's also into off-roading with a black Jeep Cherokee and camping near Las Vegas.
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Now that you mention sheis into schizo shit and the ourdoors and Vegas? Would.
 
This just kind of just happened but it bears sharing because, damn, redditors wished they could be that arrogant and "unself-aware". It was on Discord (second most retarded place online just behind Reddit) and the server was talking about comic dubs, but then someone shares a bad video with bad AI voices dubbing The Walking Dead comic characters and all Hell breaks loose.

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Imagine white knighting for AI with the grace of a Rick and Morty redditor.
 
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