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Don't be like this guy:
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
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Just a preface, I’m writing this on mobile and will by copy/pasting it from my notes app, so apologies in advance for any formatting issues. I’ll be talking about a childhood “friend” named Zack, who I previously mentioned in the Andy Ditch thread. A couple people DM’d me and wanted to know more, so I figured I’d write this up. I also will not be sharing any photos of Zack or any of his social media profiles, solely because I don’t want to dox my location; we grew up in the same town and I still live here. With all that out of the way, let’s get started. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a long one.
I don’t have a ton to say until around fifth grade, But I met Zack in second grade. He could never remember my name, so he called me Blake, not even close to my name. I didn’t care much. He was fine those first couple years, just a normal (all things considered) elementary school boy. Fast forward to fifth grade, we shared a class together, after previously only seeing each other in the hallway or in our rotating gym class. He also finally learned my name.
Things got bad fairly quick. Zack was jealous of my (at the time) best friend from kindergarten, just because he knew me longer. Became a “him or me” situation, and I said I wasn’t choosing. He said if I wanted to be friends with them, then I had to give him some of my games. Some other kids heard what he was saying and told the teacher. He got in trouble and was made to apologize to me, and then things were fine again. Though, my best friend said he didn’t like Zack, and that I shouldn’t be friends with him. I agreed with my friend, but I was afraid of confrontation, still am, and couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Fast forward to the summer before sixth grade. Zack and I are both excited to finally be in middle school, and talked on the phone fairly often. The main issue at this point was he’d call over and over. If I didn’t answer, he’d keep calling until I answered, 15 or more times. I had a flip phone that my parents got me for emergencies mostly, and I kept it in my room unless I was going somewhere. I know this just sounds like stupid little kid drama so far, but trust me, it’s gonna get a lot worse.
In sixth grade itself, I thought I was such and edgy badass. I started swearing a lot, which Zack didn’t like. He made up a bible verse, “thou shalt not cuss,” to get me to stop, but I didn’t. He told on me, and I got in trouble. I told him that’s not cool, friends shouldn’t tell on each other, especially over something small and stupid like that. He didn’t care, and kept telling on me for small things, and I got progressively more fed up with him. He even got me in trouble by acting like a retard during an assembly, just being loud and disrupting other students; I got in trouble because I was sitting with him and faculty knew we were friends.
Around that time, I guess I was making it a little too obvious I was getting fed up with Zack. One Friday night, I was playing a game in my room when I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I ignored it at first, but they called again, so I answered. I asked who it was, and the person on the line said they were my best friend. He sounded different, but I chalked it up to how voices sound weird over the phone. He asked if I was still friends with Zack, to which I said no. I was sick of him getting me in trouble all the time and he was being weird. The person on the phone revealed he was actually Zack. I played it off as a joke, and Zack seemed cool with it.
An hour or so later, I was going to watch something with my family, and for some reason I took my phone with me instead of leaving it in my room as I usually did. I left my phone on the couch and went to take the trash out or something. While I was away, Zack called, and for some reason my older brother answered it. Zack was crying about me saying I wasn’t his friend, and my parents yelled at me about it. I tried to explain myself, and told them Zack was really weird and I just couldn’t stand him. They were hearing none of it, and made me call him in front of them and apologize. They also said I had to invite him over sometime, which I managed to put off until a few months later. Also, this sucked, because anytime I actually wanted to have a friend over, my parents’ answer was always no.
I was secretly excited for him to stay over, because maybe my parents would see how he acts and would believe me. Sadly, that didn’t happen, and all I can remember from that weekend was my parents angrily telling me they can’t believe I was “mean” to him. Fast forward to summer vacation, and I was again made to invite him over for my birthday. On the last day while waiting for his mother to pick him up, he asked to watch the Titantic. I’d never seen it, so I agreed. I got tired of it very quickly, because he was repeating every line in the movie 10 seconds before it was said. I got so annoyed I went back into my room, and still to this day haven’t seen the movie. Once his mother left with him, my Mom seemingly understood why I didn’t like him, and I was never made to invite him over again.
During that summer, Zack started mesaaging me nonstop. If I didn’t answer immediately, he’d start texting things like “Hello??” “Where are you?” “Why do you hate me?” And I was getting sick of it really quick. It got to the point where I had to lie about things to get him to leave me alone. What really pissed me off was he started messaging my father when I didn’t respond to him. I confronted him about it, and he continued blowing up my phone. I told him to give me time to cool off, and he’d text back again not a minute later asking if I was cooled off yet. Over and over and over. My mother told me to just ignore him, and I yelled at her that he wouldn’t stop. My father, finally realizing what was going on, called Zack’s parents. I’m not sure what was said, but the problem stopped. To this day, I still get anxious when I get multiple messages at once from someone.
Alright, I promise this is where things start to pick up. Towards the middle of seventh grade, we were reading The Outsiders (really good book btw) and one day, Zack comes into lunch and sits next to me, looking like he’d been bawling his eyes out. He put his head down, and I asked what was wrong. Through tears, he told me his uncle Johnny died in a housefire the night prior. I tried to cheer him up the best I could, but then he looks up at me, tears all gone, and with the most shit-eating grin I’d ever seen, says “I’m just kidding, that’s what happens in The Outsiders.” I was disgusted. Not just because he spoiled the book, but because he was so serious and crying just to tell a fucking joke. It was horribly manipulative, and I moved tables and didn’t speak to him again. He tried for a bit to get me to talk to him, but gave up after about a week. Seventh grade is also when he started being really weird. He told me about his diaper fetish, and I told him it was weird, but as long as he didn’t do it around me, whatever. I didn’t understand the implications at the time, having barely started puberty myself. He also started telling everyone he was Herobrine (yes, the Minecraft creepypasta) and also started loudly and obnoxiously singing in the hallways. Numerous other students tried to get him to stop, and even the faculty did nothing. This continued all the way through senior year of high school.
In eighth grade, I met my still-best friend, whom I met through Zack. All he knew me as was “Zack’s friend” but we shared another mutual friend and became friends really quick. We go on trips together and hang out quite often. So I guess I have something to thank Zack for. At one point that year though, Zack choked the mutual friend for allegedly badmouthing his mother, who Zack openly said he hated regularly. We didn’t speak again until freshman year of high school, where he, my best friend, and I all shared a class together. Again I caved and talked to him again; he sat behind us in a tiny classroom, so avoiding him was pretty difficult. Around this time is when he decided he was gay, and constantly went back and forth between being gay and straight. I was pretty homophobic at the time, something I’ve since grown past, but even then I knew that you either were gay or you weren’t, you didn’t pick and choose.
Zack was gay for both my best friend and me, and that’s when the best friend fully cut him off. He was polite at first, but when Zack wouldn’t stop, he shut him down harshly. Zack would later say my best friend “abandoned” him, but my best friend says that Zack stopped talking to or hanging around him after that. Zack also told me he liked me, and as homophobic as I was, I was too polite and just told him I don’t swing that way. I started telling my best friend about all the things Zack did, and we bonded more from there. Zack was also telling people to call him “Quentin” at the time, to which no one but the teachers did. He made up a fake sob story that he hated his name because his father named him, and that when he was two, he chased him into the woods with a shotgun. What grown man can’t outrun a two year old? Either way, it was bullshit and everyone knew it.
At this point, I started just avoiding Zack. I didn’t speak to him and if he sat with me, I’d pretend I had to go and would go somewhere else. He somehow never caught on that I didn’t like him. While I didn’t speak to him, I definitely heard about his antics. Sophomore year, he had a neo Nazi phase. He had a Hitler fan page that I reported and got deleted, had a swastika as his phone wallpaper, and even got out of a Veteran’s Day assembly my school did because he said the World War II veterans “offended” him. He even had his own “protect squad” which changed every year. It was always freshman girls who just thought he was misunderstood and bullied for being gay, but they’d always quickly realize his bullshit and abandon him. He also was getting way worse about his singing, and nothing was being done. My best friend and I always thought his parents told the school he was retarded and that’s why he never got in any trouble. I actually asked my parents about that recently, and turns out it’s true.
Junior year, we had a new principal who was far less tolerant to Zack’s bullshit, and while it definitely lessened, it didn’t fully go away. This was around the time Zack started his trans phase. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but because most of the school was convinced that Zack was retarded, they were nice and supportive with him. I knew it was fake, and at the time I myself was being groomed into becoming transgender. That’s a story for another day though. He would pick fights with local pride groups for literally no reason than to start drama. He loved “calling out” random people on his Snapchat or Instagram. He also apparently started wearing diapers to school around this time, thankfully I never noticed. I didn’t yet know what a lolcow was at this point, but I decided I was going to use Zack to laugh at. No matter how bad I was doing, I was always doing better than him.
Senior year, I decided to “make up” with Zack, just for some laughs. He’d get mad when people “misgendered” him, and I’d have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. He also told me that he’d be dropping out of school once he turned 18 (early October, so about a month into the school year) and moving in with friends so he could transition. I think this is when his parents finally gave up on him and were paying a lot more attention to his younger brothers, who were both high school aged by now. I tried to talk him out of dropping out with genuine concern. There was less than a year left before graduation and he may have difficulty finding a job with just a GED. He didn’t care though, his heart was set. He officially dropped out on the Monday following his birthday, and overdramatically filmed himself moving all of his stuff out through his window.
I don’t know much from this time, but I know Zack was kicked out no later than May. His then-roommate would later tell me that he refused to get a job and expected her to financially support him. Not to mention, he kept trying to get with her, despite her already having a girlfriend who lived there with them. Sometime in May, he was hit by a car. The way he explained it, he was mad and walked across a busy road, wearing all black during heavy rain. He survived, and had an ego death following this. He recovered eventually, and went through a huge bible thumper phase. He said god was looking out for him that day; and that’s why he survived. He got angry when I told him that if god were truly looking out for him, he never would’ve gotten hit by the car in the first place. This is when he cut contact with me again. He also started to pretend that he had grown up and matured past all of his childish bullshit, but as you will soon see, he only got worse.
I didn’t speak to him again until two years later, when his parents were finally making him grow up. Despite earlier even admitting that he faked being trans for attention, he was back at it and accusing his parents of being transphobic. Around this time is when I discovered Chris Chan and other lolcows, so I reached back out, pretending to be a friend just to get laughs out of his nonsense. He was having a hard time keeping a job, saying he was being discriminated against for being gay; he dropped the trans lie fairly quick the second time around. I told him that was literally illegal, and he didn’t have to tell people he was gay. One, because it was pretty easy to tell, and two, there is never a valid reason to bring up your sexuality at work. Coworkers of his told me a different story though; they said that he didn’t do his job and would mouth off to his boss, then try to play the discrimination card when he got fired. I’ve been working nonstop since high school, so my tolerance for unemployed adults is already extremely low, but I found this hilarious, because no matter what, he was never wrong in his eyes.
Also around this same time, Zack became overindulgent with ABDL. He moved in with some faggot retards in California, as where we live is not remotely tolerant of people who shit themselves in public. The way he described it, they were all ABDLs, so a huge echo chamber, and he was slowly but surely becoming intolerant to people who weren’t okay with his disgusting fetish. He was there for a few months, and apparently was keeping a job. Eventually his car broke down, and instead of getting it fixed or finding another way to work, he just stopped going, blaming his “PTSD.” Despite being retarded faggots, his roommates eventually kicked him out because he wasn’t paying his share of the bills and rent, and his mother bought him a plane ticket back home. I tried explaining to him that the world is cruel, and you can’t just stop paying your bills because your car broke down. He had a fit, but oh well.
I moved away for about a year, and Zack was living at home again. Once again, unemployed and shitting himself. Eventually, Zack’s parents told him he could either stop wearing diapers or find a new place to live, and he painted it like they were kicking him out and moved in with his grandmother. Zack told me in seventh grade when he originally discovered his diaper fetish that his grandmother introduced him to it, which I don’t believe, but he told me that he told her that he was incontinent, so she changed his diapers and wiped his disgusting ass. I told him this is considered a form of sexual abuse, forcing your fetish on others who don’t consent to it. He said, “It’s not a fetish, it’s who I am.” I cannot even begin to explain my disgust at this. I was close to cutting contact, but stayed for the lulz I guess. Around the time I moved back home, he moved back to California, the same roommates as before took him back for some reason. He moved there with only a month’s rent and no job lined up, so it didn’t last long. He also told me that if he wasn’t working, he was wearing diapers and baby clothes 24/7, including openly in public. He said no one cared, and they thought it was cute. I told him that no one said anything because they thought he was severely mentally retarded, and they didn’t want to get charged with a hate crime for saying something to him.
If being aroused by wearing and using diapers, in public no less, didn’t prove Zack is a pedophile, this next part will. When I told him it was wrong to expose not only other adults, but children to his fetish, he said it’s okay for children to be exposed to fetishes because they don’t know what they are. That was my breaking point; I deleted and blocked him and didn’t look back for a long time. He was mad at me anyway because I posted a photo of my best friend and I at a convention, because I didn’t invite him too. Earlier this year, I heard he apparently moved to Germany, so I did some digging. He met some German ABDL fag online sometime in late 2023, they met in real life one time in between then and January of this year, and got married. Zack now lives in Germany. I reached back out to him, because I wanted to finally tell him what I think of him. But first, I talked with him normally for a day or two. He didn’t bother trying to learn German, and according to him, is unemployed and is being paid by the German government to go to school and live there. In other words, he’s leeching off the government. Couldn’t do it here, because the US government doesn’t believe being an ABDL is retarded enough to get tugboat money.
Zack told me about how he’s no longer friends with anyone who isn’t also an ABDL, and apparently his husband’s family is okay with him openly shitting himself around them. I did also tell him how he and his husband got married too fast, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. After a couple days, I unloaded a huge text on him, about as long as this post, and told him everything I truly thought about him. I also told him I knew he’d return back here, since he’s ran away 3 or 4 times now and always ends up back in our hometown, and I’d never entertain his bullshit again. I even told him how I treated him as my personal lolcow, and screenshotted things he said and laughed at them with my friends. He responded, pretending he didn’t care, and only tried to explain himself for the tamest things I mentioned, entirely proving my point. I then blocked him before he could reply again. The next morning, his husband messaged me, telling me how upset Zack was and trying to turn everything around on me. I told him to fuck off, called him a retard, and blocked him.
That’s the end of it. I know I explained a lot of unneccessary things, like childhood, but I felt it was needed to explain his “descent into madness” per se. I hope everyone who messaged me has all their questions answered.
I don’t have a ton to say until around fifth grade, But I met Zack in second grade. He could never remember my name, so he called me Blake, not even close to my name. I didn’t care much. He was fine those first couple years, just a normal (all things considered) elementary school boy. Fast forward to fifth grade, we shared a class together, after previously only seeing each other in the hallway or in our rotating gym class. He also finally learned my name.
Things got bad fairly quick. Zack was jealous of my (at the time) best friend from kindergarten, just because he knew me longer. Became a “him or me” situation, and I said I wasn’t choosing. He said if I wanted to be friends with them, then I had to give him some of my games. Some other kids heard what he was saying and told the teacher. He got in trouble and was made to apologize to me, and then things were fine again. Though, my best friend said he didn’t like Zack, and that I shouldn’t be friends with him. I agreed with my friend, but I was afraid of confrontation, still am, and couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Fast forward to the summer before sixth grade. Zack and I are both excited to finally be in middle school, and talked on the phone fairly often. The main issue at this point was he’d call over and over. If I didn’t answer, he’d keep calling until I answered, 15 or more times. I had a flip phone that my parents got me for emergencies mostly, and I kept it in my room unless I was going somewhere. I know this just sounds like stupid little kid drama so far, but trust me, it’s gonna get a lot worse.
In sixth grade itself, I thought I was such and edgy badass. I started swearing a lot, which Zack didn’t like. He made up a bible verse, “thou shalt not cuss,” to get me to stop, but I didn’t. He told on me, and I got in trouble. I told him that’s not cool, friends shouldn’t tell on each other, especially over something small and stupid like that. He didn’t care, and kept telling on me for small things, and I got progressively more fed up with him. He even got me in trouble by acting like a retard during an assembly, just being loud and disrupting other students; I got in trouble because I was sitting with him and faculty knew we were friends.
Around that time, I guess I was making it a little too obvious I was getting fed up with Zack. One Friday night, I was playing a game in my room when I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I ignored it at first, but they called again, so I answered. I asked who it was, and the person on the line said they were my best friend. He sounded different, but I chalked it up to how voices sound weird over the phone. He asked if I was still friends with Zack, to which I said no. I was sick of him getting me in trouble all the time and he was being weird. The person on the phone revealed he was actually Zack. I played it off as a joke, and Zack seemed cool with it.
An hour or so later, I was going to watch something with my family, and for some reason I took my phone with me instead of leaving it in my room as I usually did. I left my phone on the couch and went to take the trash out or something. While I was away, Zack called, and for some reason my older brother answered it. Zack was crying about me saying I wasn’t his friend, and my parents yelled at me about it. I tried to explain myself, and told them Zack was really weird and I just couldn’t stand him. They were hearing none of it, and made me call him in front of them and apologize. They also said I had to invite him over sometime, which I managed to put off until a few months later. Also, this sucked, because anytime I actually wanted to have a friend over, my parents’ answer was always no.
I was secretly excited for him to stay over, because maybe my parents would see how he acts and would believe me. Sadly, that didn’t happen, and all I can remember from that weekend was my parents angrily telling me they can’t believe I was “mean” to him. Fast forward to summer vacation, and I was again made to invite him over for my birthday. On the last day while waiting for his mother to pick him up, he asked to watch the Titantic. I’d never seen it, so I agreed. I got tired of it very quickly, because he was repeating every line in the movie 10 seconds before it was said. I got so annoyed I went back into my room, and still to this day haven’t seen the movie. Once his mother left with him, my Mom seemingly understood why I didn’t like him, and I was never made to invite him over again.
During that summer, Zack started mesaaging me nonstop. If I didn’t answer immediately, he’d start texting things like “Hello??” “Where are you?” “Why do you hate me?” And I was getting sick of it really quick. It got to the point where I had to lie about things to get him to leave me alone. What really pissed me off was he started messaging my father when I didn’t respond to him. I confronted him about it, and he continued blowing up my phone. I told him to give me time to cool off, and he’d text back again not a minute later asking if I was cooled off yet. Over and over and over. My mother told me to just ignore him, and I yelled at her that he wouldn’t stop. My father, finally realizing what was going on, called Zack’s parents. I’m not sure what was said, but the problem stopped. To this day, I still get anxious when I get multiple messages at once from someone.
Alright, I promise this is where things start to pick up. Towards the middle of seventh grade, we were reading The Outsiders (really good book btw) and one day, Zack comes into lunch and sits next to me, looking like he’d been bawling his eyes out. He put his head down, and I asked what was wrong. Through tears, he told me his uncle Johnny died in a housefire the night prior. I tried to cheer him up the best I could, but then he looks up at me, tears all gone, and with the most shit-eating grin I’d ever seen, says “I’m just kidding, that’s what happens in The Outsiders.” I was disgusted. Not just because he spoiled the book, but because he was so serious and crying just to tell a fucking joke. It was horribly manipulative, and I moved tables and didn’t speak to him again. He tried for a bit to get me to talk to him, but gave up after about a week. Seventh grade is also when he started being really weird. He told me about his diaper fetish, and I told him it was weird, but as long as he didn’t do it around me, whatever. I didn’t understand the implications at the time, having barely started puberty myself. He also started telling everyone he was Herobrine (yes, the Minecraft creepypasta) and also started loudly and obnoxiously singing in the hallways. Numerous other students tried to get him to stop, and even the faculty did nothing. This continued all the way through senior year of high school.
In eighth grade, I met my still-best friend, whom I met through Zack. All he knew me as was “Zack’s friend” but we shared another mutual friend and became friends really quick. We go on trips together and hang out quite often. So I guess I have something to thank Zack for. At one point that year though, Zack choked the mutual friend for allegedly badmouthing his mother, who Zack openly said he hated regularly. We didn’t speak again until freshman year of high school, where he, my best friend, and I all shared a class together. Again I caved and talked to him again; he sat behind us in a tiny classroom, so avoiding him was pretty difficult. Around this time is when he decided he was gay, and constantly went back and forth between being gay and straight. I was pretty homophobic at the time, something I’ve since grown past, but even then I knew that you either were gay or you weren’t, you didn’t pick and choose.
Zack was gay for both my best friend and me, and that’s when the best friend fully cut him off. He was polite at first, but when Zack wouldn’t stop, he shut him down harshly. Zack would later say my best friend “abandoned” him, but my best friend says that Zack stopped talking to or hanging around him after that. Zack also told me he liked me, and as homophobic as I was, I was too polite and just told him I don’t swing that way. I started telling my best friend about all the things Zack did, and we bonded more from there. Zack was also telling people to call him “Quentin” at the time, to which no one but the teachers did. He made up a fake sob story that he hated his name because his father named him, and that when he was two, he chased him into the woods with a shotgun. What grown man can’t outrun a two year old? Either way, it was bullshit and everyone knew it.
At this point, I started just avoiding Zack. I didn’t speak to him and if he sat with me, I’d pretend I had to go and would go somewhere else. He somehow never caught on that I didn’t like him. While I didn’t speak to him, I definitely heard about his antics. Sophomore year, he had a neo Nazi phase. He had a Hitler fan page that I reported and got deleted, had a swastika as his phone wallpaper, and even got out of a Veteran’s Day assembly my school did because he said the World War II veterans “offended” him. He even had his own “protect squad” which changed every year. It was always freshman girls who just thought he was misunderstood and bullied for being gay, but they’d always quickly realize his bullshit and abandon him. He also was getting way worse about his singing, and nothing was being done. My best friend and I always thought his parents told the school he was retarded and that’s why he never got in any trouble. I actually asked my parents about that recently, and turns out it’s true.
Junior year, we had a new principal who was far less tolerant to Zack’s bullshit, and while it definitely lessened, it didn’t fully go away. This was around the time Zack started his trans phase. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but because most of the school was convinced that Zack was retarded, they were nice and supportive with him. I knew it was fake, and at the time I myself was being groomed into becoming transgender. That’s a story for another day though. He would pick fights with local pride groups for literally no reason than to start drama. He loved “calling out” random people on his Snapchat or Instagram. He also apparently started wearing diapers to school around this time, thankfully I never noticed. I didn’t yet know what a lolcow was at this point, but I decided I was going to use Zack to laugh at. No matter how bad I was doing, I was always doing better than him.
Senior year, I decided to “make up” with Zack, just for some laughs. He’d get mad when people “misgendered” him, and I’d have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. He also told me that he’d be dropping out of school once he turned 18 (early October, so about a month into the school year) and moving in with friends so he could transition. I think this is when his parents finally gave up on him and were paying a lot more attention to his younger brothers, who were both high school aged by now. I tried to talk him out of dropping out with genuine concern. There was less than a year left before graduation and he may have difficulty finding a job with just a GED. He didn’t care though, his heart was set. He officially dropped out on the Monday following his birthday, and overdramatically filmed himself moving all of his stuff out through his window.
I don’t know much from this time, but I know Zack was kicked out no later than May. His then-roommate would later tell me that he refused to get a job and expected her to financially support him. Not to mention, he kept trying to get with her, despite her already having a girlfriend who lived there with them. Sometime in May, he was hit by a car. The way he explained it, he was mad and walked across a busy road, wearing all black during heavy rain. He survived, and had an ego death following this. He recovered eventually, and went through a huge bible thumper phase. He said god was looking out for him that day; and that’s why he survived. He got angry when I told him that if god were truly looking out for him, he never would’ve gotten hit by the car in the first place. This is when he cut contact with me again. He also started to pretend that he had grown up and matured past all of his childish bullshit, but as you will soon see, he only got worse.
I didn’t speak to him again until two years later, when his parents were finally making him grow up. Despite earlier even admitting that he faked being trans for attention, he was back at it and accusing his parents of being transphobic. Around this time is when I discovered Chris Chan and other lolcows, so I reached back out, pretending to be a friend just to get laughs out of his nonsense. He was having a hard time keeping a job, saying he was being discriminated against for being gay; he dropped the trans lie fairly quick the second time around. I told him that was literally illegal, and he didn’t have to tell people he was gay. One, because it was pretty easy to tell, and two, there is never a valid reason to bring up your sexuality at work. Coworkers of his told me a different story though; they said that he didn’t do his job and would mouth off to his boss, then try to play the discrimination card when he got fired. I’ve been working nonstop since high school, so my tolerance for unemployed adults is already extremely low, but I found this hilarious, because no matter what, he was never wrong in his eyes.
Also around this same time, Zack became overindulgent with ABDL. He moved in with some faggot retards in California, as where we live is not remotely tolerant of people who shit themselves in public. The way he described it, they were all ABDLs, so a huge echo chamber, and he was slowly but surely becoming intolerant to people who weren’t okay with his disgusting fetish. He was there for a few months, and apparently was keeping a job. Eventually his car broke down, and instead of getting it fixed or finding another way to work, he just stopped going, blaming his “PTSD.” Despite being retarded faggots, his roommates eventually kicked him out because he wasn’t paying his share of the bills and rent, and his mother bought him a plane ticket back home. I tried explaining to him that the world is cruel, and you can’t just stop paying your bills because your car broke down. He had a fit, but oh well.
I moved away for about a year, and Zack was living at home again. Once again, unemployed and shitting himself. Eventually, Zack’s parents told him he could either stop wearing diapers or find a new place to live, and he painted it like they were kicking him out and moved in with his grandmother. Zack told me in seventh grade when he originally discovered his diaper fetish that his grandmother introduced him to it, which I don’t believe, but he told me that he told her that he was incontinent, so she changed his diapers and wiped his disgusting ass. I told him this is considered a form of sexual abuse, forcing your fetish on others who don’t consent to it. He said, “It’s not a fetish, it’s who I am.” I cannot even begin to explain my disgust at this. I was close to cutting contact, but stayed for the lulz I guess. Around the time I moved back home, he moved back to California, the same roommates as before took him back for some reason. He moved there with only a month’s rent and no job lined up, so it didn’t last long. He also told me that if he wasn’t working, he was wearing diapers and baby clothes 24/7, including openly in public. He said no one cared, and they thought it was cute. I told him that no one said anything because they thought he was severely mentally retarded, and they didn’t want to get charged with a hate crime for saying something to him.
If being aroused by wearing and using diapers, in public no less, didn’t prove Zack is a pedophile, this next part will. When I told him it was wrong to expose not only other adults, but children to his fetish, he said it’s okay for children to be exposed to fetishes because they don’t know what they are. That was my breaking point; I deleted and blocked him and didn’t look back for a long time. He was mad at me anyway because I posted a photo of my best friend and I at a convention, because I didn’t invite him too. Earlier this year, I heard he apparently moved to Germany, so I did some digging. He met some German ABDL fag online sometime in late 2023, they met in real life one time in between then and January of this year, and got married. Zack now lives in Germany. I reached back out to him, because I wanted to finally tell him what I think of him. But first, I talked with him normally for a day or two. He didn’t bother trying to learn German, and according to him, is unemployed and is being paid by the German government to go to school and live there. In other words, he’s leeching off the government. Couldn’t do it here, because the US government doesn’t believe being an ABDL is retarded enough to get tugboat money.
Zack told me about how he’s no longer friends with anyone who isn’t also an ABDL, and apparently his husband’s family is okay with him openly shitting himself around them. I did also tell him how he and his husband got married too fast, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. After a couple days, I unloaded a huge text on him, about as long as this post, and told him everything I truly thought about him. I also told him I knew he’d return back here, since he’s ran away 3 or 4 times now and always ends up back in our hometown, and I’d never entertain his bullshit again. I even told him how I treated him as my personal lolcow, and screenshotted things he said and laughed at them with my friends. He responded, pretending he didn’t care, and only tried to explain himself for the tamest things I mentioned, entirely proving my point. I then blocked him before he could reply again. The next morning, his husband messaged me, telling me how upset Zack was and trying to turn everything around on me. I told him to fuck off, called him a retard, and blocked him.
That’s the end of it. I know I explained a lot of unneccessary things, like childhood, but I felt it was needed to explain his “descent into madness” per se. I hope everyone who messaged me has all their questions answered.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
Yeah, he's an literal retard with ADHD.
The rest of his shit is something that you shouldn't lose any sleep over.
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2025
I agree, mostly just a story to tell now. One thing I forgot to mention here but I did in the Andy Ditch thread is that his mother used to be my dentists’s assistant, and I asked her about him once. She said there is absolutely nothing mentally wrong with him, he’s an attention whore, and there’s no difference between good and bad attention for him.
- Joined
- May 17, 2023
i mentioned this guy briefly in the boomer hate thread but i'll elaborate on him a bit more
this guy was my old boss when i worked for what was basically a computer repair shop and msp. he's probably the epitome of "boomer": loves guns, overweight, southern, bootstraps/firm handshake, the whole thing. his entire ethos of IT is stuck in the 90s.
this guy was my old boss when i worked for what was basically a computer repair shop and msp. he's probably the epitome of "boomer": loves guns, overweight, southern, bootstraps/firm handshake, the whole thing. his entire ethos of IT is stuck in the 90s.
- keeps all sensitive info in plaintext on his company server including passwords, SSNs, IP addresses, domain info, and security questions
- uses the same passwords or its three variants for everything including VPNs, router logins, server logins, admin accounts, etc.
- makes all of his customers use some obscure VPN client that hasn't been updated in 10+ years
- zero concept of ticketing systems, remote management/deployment, imaging, etc. we would spend a week manually installing/updating AV on all his client's computers at different locations from a single flash drive. schizo side of me says he did this on purpose to charge them more per hour but i don't think he's that smart
- would always talk about a "very powerful tool" that could supposedly enable RDP on any computer anywhere at any time. it never worked.
- if software wasn't working on a client's computer he'd just make them an admin and call it a day
- customer was complaining the calculator app wasn't working on her device. boss said he'd have to reinstall windows and all her programs which would take the entire rest of the day. while he left to talk with her boss about guns or trump or something i looked online for five minutes and ran a powershell command that fixed everything. he spent the next half hour being really frustrated and making sure it worked because he didn't believe me.
- convinced one of his more paranoid customers that everyone in the office should have two PCs, one with internet access for non-sensitive info and one without internet access for sensitive info (this wasn't a matter of national security, this was for a realtor's office). spent a full fucking month manually installing Win10 and all their other programs because no remote deployment/imaging lol "this is how it's done"
- kept hearing banging from the back room one day, walked in to find the new guy whacking some customer's dying HDD against the desk. ask him what the fuck he's doing, he said bossman told him to do that to get it to spin up again. told him bossman is a fucking retard and to never do that shit again.
- used all sorts of chinese bloatware/scam programs but had an aneurysm when he saw winzip installed on one of our office PCs and made us wipe it
- didn't know what "fill and sign" does in adobe reader
- company website hasn't been updated since i left. i still have the login info.
- all his customers would get hacked/crypto'd frequently, would spout insane nonsense like "we think they got in through the mail server" yeah it's not because they're still running WinXP or Server 2008 or because you make everyone an admin or because you never install updates or AV
- wanted me to learn some remote management program and its scripting language from scratch so it could be deployed to all his customers. i told him he'd have to pay me at least 3x what i was making at the time to even start doing that and he got really upset
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2023
I have my own CWC at work---Simililar names too (I don't give a fuck about keeping his real name private he's not unique and the piece of shit deserves to be shamed)
Let's see.
-Dosen't bathe or use deodorant, his caretakers most likely cut his hair and beard when it gets too grimy.
-looks down and mistreats female bosses and coworkers--legitimately sexist, he looks down on women that have authority over him (and anyone that has half a brain, unlike him)
- eats like a savage. Pigs are more polite compared to him. Eats EVERYTHING with his hands only.
- written up multiple times for verbally lashing out at other coworkers and bosses.
- gets in fights with other male coworkers
- budges into conversations to brag about something he claims to know about the subject (it's usually false and/or straight bullshit)
- multiple customer complaints about his rude tone and body oder
- has watched porn while at work
-parents are older than the Chandlers when they had Chris.
Just an inbred piece of shit that will most likely get assaulted by the wrong customer soon. Work most likely keeps him for good PR for hiring tards. But me and half of the team are just waiting for him to slip up enough to be thrown out on his ass.
Let's see.
-Dosen't bathe or use deodorant, his caretakers most likely cut his hair and beard when it gets too grimy.
-looks down and mistreats female bosses and coworkers--legitimately sexist, he looks down on women that have authority over him (and anyone that has half a brain, unlike him)
- eats like a savage. Pigs are more polite compared to him. Eats EVERYTHING with his hands only.
- written up multiple times for verbally lashing out at other coworkers and bosses.
- gets in fights with other male coworkers
- budges into conversations to brag about something he claims to know about the subject (it's usually false and/or straight bullshit)
- multiple customer complaints about his rude tone and body oder
- has watched porn while at work
-parents are older than the Chandlers when they had Chris.
Just an inbred piece of shit that will most likely get assaulted by the wrong customer soon. Work most likely keeps him for good PR for hiring tards. But me and half of the team are just waiting for him to slip up enough to be thrown out on his ass.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
No instant termination on this?
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2023
Apparently his guardian managed to get him to apologize and browbeat the company into keeping him around--dude is too retarded to sign up for another job, I guess. Can't even do this one right. I don't believe in 2nd chances for CWCs in the workforce. I'd much rather he take a tugboat and fuck off for life.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
But to be fair, at least he has an job...Up until he finally snaps and actually beats the shit out of someone. Or the off-chance that the company goes under solely because nobody wants to be around him.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2025
Not too exciting but there was a guy harassing me and a friend, the dude harassing us is into 3d loli porn based on real murdered children (we are "antis" for calling that out as gross and pedophilic), addicted to scat, and guro porn, and thinks that everyone against him is either a criminal, pedophile, botnet hoster, a bot from some random souls youtuber i cant remember the name of, or a sjw.
He's one of those guys who thinks that anyone calling him out for liking loli is a pedo cuz this one random journalist 10 years ago said anime is for pedos and he ended up raping babies or some shit so EVERYONE who doesnt like loli porn is a child fucker
He's one of those guys who thinks that anyone calling him out for liking loli is a pedo cuz this one random journalist 10 years ago said anime is for pedos and he ended up raping babies or some shit so EVERYONE who doesnt like loli porn is a child fucker
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- Joined
- Sep 16, 2020
A diaper fetish in middle school? I feel like I should ask more questions on how he even found this sexual awakening, but maybe ignorance is bliss in this situation.
Seems very clingy and does not want to let you go. I wouldn't be surprised if he still does have a crush or unhealthy obsession with you. Did he try to ever connect back with the best friend or is he too heartbroken to only communicate with you as you didn't push him away?
Something tells me he pissed and shat himself upon hearing the news that his love is still unrequited. Hopefully this is enough to deter him from interacting with or being around you.
That you know of. But, out of curiosity, is he the type to be obsessive or maybe stalker-ish? Because if he is, I imagine he's got a collage of you decorating the back of his Heal Thy Burgers shrine with a pack of diapers just for you.
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2025
I didn’t mention it because I didn’t think about it, but he’s actually a year older than me. 8 months really, but whatever. We were in the same grade, and honestly, I don’t remember. I feel like he said his grandmother made him wear them and maybe it developed from there? But regardless I don’t want to know either.
I asked my best friend and he said no. Zack does have some aminosity towards him at least, since he seemed angry I was still friends with him. Zack’s crush on me persisted into at least senior year, when I shut him down harder but not mean enough. That was around the time I started talking to him again for the purpose of making fun of him.
I believe it. He pretended not to care when I told him all this, but when his husband messaged me, he said Zack had been up crying all night. Even when he moves back here, no one is gonna put up with him. Small town, and everyone knows his bullshit. Anyone who went to our school remembers everything about him too.
I’d say he definitely is, considering how often he was calling and texting me back then. If he had a shrine, I don’t know if I’d laugh or be horrified. There’s no pictures of us together thankfully. I remember at one of our school dances, I asked him to take a photo of me and my friends and didn’t take a sexond picture with him in it. One last thing I didn’t mention was shortly before I cut him off for the final time, he kept trying to get me to come hang out with him, but it was pretty obvious he just wanted me to come over and baby him.
I identify as racist
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2025
Did he end up getting diagnosed with mental disorders later on in life, and if so, did he ever try to use them as excuses?
I know her..
- Joined
- May 3, 2024
You got any info on her or did you join the site to troll?
Forgive Me Im Retarded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2025
My previous neighbour was going through his own ‘Cyraxx and Heather’ arc. TL;DR: my neighbour was cyraxx with children. Cops and CPS did nothing
He was the biggest piece of shit, I tried being friends with his ‘heather’ since the first time I met her she was knocking on my door crying that I needed to call the police (as he was trashing her place in a rage).
This guy dressed exactly like cyraxx (same shirt necklaces, oversized shirts, beanie hands) and in the last year or two before we bought a house he was sporting an untamed beard and was getting his girl to dye his hair bright red.
Since I was his ‘heather’s’ rant outlet, I know entirely too much about this douche.
- he went to therapy (since he kept getting arrested for assault and criminal mischief (trashing his old lady’s house), he eventually got on gov assistance that was somehow different from disability. He never went to therapy again (though he desperately needed it) since he got what he was after: an excuse to never work. Because of that ‘sweet gov money’ (and because his girl was an enabler), he literally never had a job, and his girl wouldn’t work more than 8 hours a week so as to not lose the boat. Never mind that she was $30k in debt for a degree in teaching sped kids she will never utilize (those degrees expire if you don’t work in the field, and her only work experience was cashier)
- his personal hygiene and just general sense of well-being was non-existent. Never brushed teeth, artistically disturbed by ‘being wet’ so he never bathed, and his diet consisted of three packs of ramen at once, sludge, and candy. His teeth were rotting out of his mouth, his bowl movements were bloody and basically liquid (I HAVE TO KNOW THIS AND NOW SO DO YOU), and his dick was so rancid it gave his girl an infected meat wallet multiple times.
- he was also a danger to his children, yes he and ham planet enabler had two kids together. His girl had confided that this waste of space had sexually assaulted his mentally retarded brother when they were younger (I have some sympathy since this guy was left as the caretaker to his retarded, incontinent brother, but pity can only take you so far). We would hear him verbally abuse his girl almost every day, I took their kids out of the house often, called CPS often, called the cops often. His girl wouldn’t work (partially she said she ‘couldn’t because there was no way they could earn as much if they lost the gov assistance’ but it was 100% she couldn’t leave him alone with the kids.
- his rage outs were cyraxx-level. All he did all day was play videogames, and talk loudly on his porch with fellow degenerates online (we lived in a poorly designed apartment, the units on the south-side had a parking lot that served as an amphitheatre, so everyone could hear him as he went on his porch often). When he raged at his girl everyone could hear it. His girl went to work one morning and her coworker was telling everyone who would listen that she caught a crazy guy freaking out on camera, and it was this guy. His girl was so humiliated, you’d have thought it was a cue to do something about it but never happened.
We would help this lady as often as we could, we weren’t well off but we scrimped and saved, and still I would give her $20 a week just to help get food for the kids. That stopped when I saw she was doordashing McDonald’s (we lived in the middle of town, 5 minute walk from any fast food place). If I asked if things were alright she would freak out and not talk to me for days.
Eventually we had a massive falling out (about the kids, I finally couldn’t hold my tongue). We finally bought a house and got out of there, and I filed cps reports for like four weeks as we were getting our shit in order to move. No clue what happened of it, I feel bad for her kids, but my god she made that bed.
Sorry for the walls of text. I cannot describe how much I hated these two absolute trainwrecks.
He was the biggest piece of shit, I tried being friends with his ‘heather’ since the first time I met her she was knocking on my door crying that I needed to call the police (as he was trashing her place in a rage).
This guy dressed exactly like cyraxx (same shirt necklaces, oversized shirts, beanie hands) and in the last year or two before we bought a house he was sporting an untamed beard and was getting his girl to dye his hair bright red.
Since I was his ‘heather’s’ rant outlet, I know entirely too much about this douche.
- he went to therapy (since he kept getting arrested for assault and criminal mischief (trashing his old lady’s house), he eventually got on gov assistance that was somehow different from disability. He never went to therapy again (though he desperately needed it) since he got what he was after: an excuse to never work. Because of that ‘sweet gov money’ (and because his girl was an enabler), he literally never had a job, and his girl wouldn’t work more than 8 hours a week so as to not lose the boat. Never mind that she was $30k in debt for a degree in teaching sped kids she will never utilize (those degrees expire if you don’t work in the field, and her only work experience was cashier)
- his personal hygiene and just general sense of well-being was non-existent. Never brushed teeth, artistically disturbed by ‘being wet’ so he never bathed, and his diet consisted of three packs of ramen at once, sludge, and candy. His teeth were rotting out of his mouth, his bowl movements were bloody and basically liquid (I HAVE TO KNOW THIS AND NOW SO DO YOU), and his dick was so rancid it gave his girl an infected meat wallet multiple times.
- he was also a danger to his children, yes he and ham planet enabler had two kids together. His girl had confided that this waste of space had sexually assaulted his mentally retarded brother when they were younger (I have some sympathy since this guy was left as the caretaker to his retarded, incontinent brother, but pity can only take you so far). We would hear him verbally abuse his girl almost every day, I took their kids out of the house often, called CPS often, called the cops often. His girl wouldn’t work (partially she said she ‘couldn’t because there was no way they could earn as much if they lost the gov assistance’ but it was 100% she couldn’t leave him alone with the kids.
- his rage outs were cyraxx-level. All he did all day was play videogames, and talk loudly on his porch with fellow degenerates online (we lived in a poorly designed apartment, the units on the south-side had a parking lot that served as an amphitheatre, so everyone could hear him as he went on his porch often). When he raged at his girl everyone could hear it. His girl went to work one morning and her coworker was telling everyone who would listen that she caught a crazy guy freaking out on camera, and it was this guy. His girl was so humiliated, you’d have thought it was a cue to do something about it but never happened.
We would help this lady as often as we could, we weren’t well off but we scrimped and saved, and still I would give her $20 a week just to help get food for the kids. That stopped when I saw she was doordashing McDonald’s (we lived in the middle of town, 5 minute walk from any fast food place). If I asked if things were alright she would freak out and not talk to me for days.
Eventually we had a massive falling out (about the kids, I finally couldn’t hold my tongue). We finally bought a house and got out of there, and I filed cps reports for like four weeks as we were getting our shit in order to move. No clue what happened of it, I feel bad for her kids, but my god she made that bed.
Sorry for the walls of text. I cannot describe how much I hated these two absolute trainwrecks.
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2025
Not that I’m aware of, but I’m sure he would.
CaptLouAlbano
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2025
There's this 300lb virgin "Christian Nationalist" debate Lord on X, whos also a brony/furfag/Disney adult, who will harass random x accounts but threatens to sue anyone who upsets him. One person found his hidden DA account devoted to mermaid fucking and he crashed out.
Anyhow he's now looking for a 'godly Christian wife' and yes he has a list of criteria .
He's honestly if CWC got the extremist fundie schizophrenia and stayed an unwashed dude. His writing even sounds like CWC and yes he has a YouTube channel where he makes hour long videos while sitting in his shit box truck.
Anyhow he's now looking for a 'godly Christian wife' and yes he has a list of criteria .
He's honestly if CWC got the extremist fundie schizophrenia and stayed an unwashed dude. His writing even sounds like CWC and yes he has a YouTube channel where he makes hour long videos while sitting in his shit box truck.
Attachments
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
Unless he was genuinely incontinent, I'm filing this under "sexual abuse"
umseriously
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2023
I just think citytutoringmath on YouTube is pretty funny. Not exactly major enough to be a lolcow, but he does act like 1 at times. He will never get his own thread.