Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[ILoveMylarBalloons]

Ok so there's this guy at my school and he's like, the biggest wigger ever. He desperately wants to be a rapper, and calls himself "the TK Kid" (wtf does that even mean?). He posts these lame songs on youtube that have only like, maybe 25 views. And he brags about how famous he is on youtube and how he's gonna be the next eminem. Yknow, typical wigger shit. Anyways he always tries to start rap "battles" with people (even though they just mostly ignore him) and he's exceedingly terrible at it. All he does is list their features and characteristics and occasionally call then gay. "Hey yo, so check this shit out. Like really? You wearin a striped shirt, look like dirt. Why your voice be so deep, cause you suckin all that dick? Ohhhhhhhhhh!" (Word for word what he said the other day.) he's such a little bitch too, all you have to do is call him gay once and he'll literally be in tears whining about being "oppressed".
Oh and he's also one of those kids who claims to be a "hardcore stoner " but in reality he just smokes half a blunt and passes the fuck out. And the worst part is, he thinks we're friends so he never stops following me.

he sounds like a cool person.
wiggers > hipsters

 

[Snake Sack]

Here's one. From the Nice Guy thread:

I've been lurking this thread for a while and I've decided to throw one in, so gather round.

I knew this guy in high school who was quite possible the biggest nice guy ever. He fit most of the stereotypes. Autistic, into nerd shit, and wore a fedora unironically. The only ones he didn't fall under were being fat with a neckbeard. Instead, he was short and lanky to the point of anyone being able to take him down just by blowing on him. He and also had massive anger issues, going Chris Chan level apeshit whenever people messed with him, and even once saying he'll shoot up the White House if Trump doesn't become president.

Anyway, this guy would hit on anything as long as it had a vagina. Didn't matter the age, or if the girl was in his league or not, he'd go for it. He would constantly bitch about being single, saying stuff like, Why am I a senior and still a virgin!!?" I've got a few particular tails about this guy.

He hit on one of my friends. Not just basic flirting, I mean real creepy borderline sexual shit. He once described his fapping habits to her and even got in trouble for fapping in the locker rooms. Not to mention he played with her bra strap. And he'd ask her out multiple times even though at the time she had a boyfriend.

Another girl told me she was on a date with her boyfriend, and the creep happens to be at the same restaurant with his family. He goes up and starts hitting on her....in front of her boyfriend. If I was that guy, I would've socked him.

He got so desperate that he dated a freshman his senior year. The real kicker was that she found his shit too creepy and left his ass.

Right now, he's at my college and is actually dating someone, but treats her like a trophy wife. He posted a pic of them kissing on Instagram and was bragging about her like she was an award instead of a human.

If this guy was more active on social media, he'd probably have a thread here.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

One of my ex girlfriends. Amusingly, I actually typed "girlFIENDS" initially, completely by accident. Quoting from the "borderline personality disorder" thread:

I've dated at least one girl whom I now suspect to have had borderline. It was a horrible experience.

The funny thing is that one of my other friends liked her too, but she ended up liking me instead of him. He resented me for a while after that, but after the relationship was over and done with, I told him he ought to thank me for essentially taking a bullet for him.

He's a much more emotionally fragile person than me, and I honestly believe he'd have come away from that far worse than I did. And I had quite a big mental scar from her, so that's really saying a lot.

This bears a bit of elaboration. I won't go into too much detail because doing so would be powerleveling, though I can at least talk a little about her.

Like how innocuous comments would cause her to completely lose her shit and yell for hours. Or how she initially made a point out of being "the cool girlfriend" who didn't try to monopolize my time or push me away from my friends, but later decided that my friends were losers and she hated them, and tried to get me to stop talking to them. Or how she chimped out at me and accused me of not trying in the relationship when I didn't immediately make a Facebook status announcing our one-year anniversary. Or how after we'd already broken up, she chimped out again when she found out I was talking to a female friend (she'd always hated this girl and thought she was trying to steal me; she wasn't, and I wasn't even "talking to her" in that way).

There was worse stuff that she did which I won't get into, but this was just to give you an idea of what I had to deal with. We dated for about a year and a half. And yes, I DID have a good reason for putting up with her for that long. She lived in a nice area, and her family was very well-off. What started as a genuine fondness for her (because of course she wasn't like this initially) eventually turned into "okay, just endure this for a little while longer and you'll be set for life." Say what you want, but I was thinking about my future.

Oh, and to add a layer of irony, her mother was a child psychologist. During one of her more stable periods, she actually acknowledged that she probably had something wrong with her, but that she was never given any sort of help as a child because it would make her mother look bad to be a child psychologist with a child of her own getting psychological help.

On the surface, she had a good job and her own place. She had the appearance of being a functional member of society. In private, however, she was completely batshit.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Some more stories from the education system.

Spoiler: Oh, Pee-Wee!

My experiences taking Cinema Studies I & II were a mixed bag. On one hand, I watched some classic movies, and met some really cool people, including one of my best friends in I and Lady Hitler in II. On the other hand, it's completely useless as a degree, and I'd never recommend it as one. This personal lolcow primarily has to do with CS II.

Sitting above LH was a girl I'll call J. J was the student whom you could tell had Autism from the start. She had a bad case of tard gut, an unflattering bowl cut, a childish taste in entertainment (Which was weird for a class that involved watching movies like Aguirre and The Seventh Seal) and most importantly, a voice that sounded like a Pee-Wee Herman impression.

My professor was a cool guy whom I could shoot the shit with about anything from auteur directors we admire to trashy b-movies and Italian horror/giallo movies. Unfortunately, J also liked to talk to the professor, 9 times out of 10 to complain about Trump. As the semester went on, my professor's patience slowly waned to the point where he was visibly frustrated and resigned whenever she opened her mouth.

The talking also extended to talking during the movies, meaning she broke the cardinal rule of watching a movie in a class centered around watching movies. Her insightful moments ranged from going "Ew, ew, EWWWWWW" during sex scenes and going "Ew, ew, EWWWWWW" during more violent scenes. When we were watching Pasolini's Oedipus Rex, not only did she keep pronouncing it "Eh-di-puh-pus Rex", but her talking got so obnoxious that the professor had to stop the movie and tell her to knock it off, and LH was wringing her hands ready to strangle J. LH & I spent less time talking about the movie as we went to my dorm, and more time complaining about and mocking J. I was told that my impression of J was "scarily accurate".

At least I got a story and a girlfriend out of taking the class.

Spoiler: Getting an MFA in being an MRA

Screenwriting I was a motley crew of losers, hacks, weirdos, depressives and no-hopers all guided by an older professor with the patience of a saint. One of those students, whom we'll call S, managed to get far and away the most negative reaction from a submitted screenplay.

S could be described as a black, male version of J, only with glasses, braces and a shitty afro. He looked like an overgrown middle schooler that somehow conned his way into a college experience. Also, he had a habit of collecting copies of the scripts he gave out like we were reading the new Star Wars movie. Nobody else in the class shared this approach.

We had to write three short screenplays in class. Long story short, everyone sucked, but S sucked in a unique way where his skills seemed to get worse as the class went on. Screenplay #1 was a boring ghost movie. Screenplay #2 was a jarring, nonsensical revenge movie that had the whole classroom in stitches. Screenplay #3 is what we're talking about.

The assignment for Screenplay #3 was voiceover and S wrote a screenplay that seems ripped straight out of the Manosphere. The main focus is Female-on-Male rape on a veteran by his fiancee, but it's so clumsily handled that it's one of the most misogynistic, poorly written things I've ever read. I'll pull some choice quotes:

"Out of all the men, Tom may have just been the one who was waiting to return to his family the most. Maybe, that is. Can't say for sure. After all, we army men are always eager for the fighting and bloodshed to end and pray to fuckin God that we survive so that we can return to our families. I just give special notice to Tom because he's the one I've talked to the most. Yeah, we're kind of best friends."

"The wife that I thought I knew was gone. There was no Loretta. There was just some unfaithful tramp. I wanted to hurt her. Fuck, I wanted to kill her. There was so much anger surging through my body I felt like I was gonna explode. I went to war, lost my best friend, and experienced shit that I'll never be able to fuckin erase from my mind. And this is what I walk back to? My soon-to-be wife fuckin another goddamn man!? FUCK! I wanted her fuckin dead! Make her hurt!"

"She raped me. That crazy God-forsaken bitch fuckin raped me. And I couldn't do a goddamn thing about it. Correction: I could've. but I knew if I so much as touched her, my life would forever be destroyed. When we men get abused or raped by women, we're still labeled as the motherfuckin perpetrator, while the woman gets to sit back and play the bullshit victim, And when men are forced to carry, that label, it's branded on them for the rest of their lives. Even when you're proven innocent.

Truly, he has the writing skills of a young Charlie Kaufman. These people agree:

Are you sure you didn't secretly write this just to piss me off?

Was this written by a men's rights activist?

If this is his major, then cinema's dead.

His was the last script read for the night, and I want you to imagine how well an MRA-skewing screenplay went over in a class filled with tired, cranky students on an SJW-y campus. If you said "The class tore him a new one for a half hour", then you'd be correct. When class was dismissed and S went around to collect his script, I put the script in my bag, snuck out the back door and put it in my desk drawer for safekeeping. I'll make a .PDF if anyone wants the full experience.

Moral of the story: No matter how bad you may think you are at writing, there's always somebody infinitely worse than you.

UPDATE: More Rapey Shenanigans

 

[Zeorus]

Some more stories from the education system.

Spoiler: Oh, Pee-Wee!

My experiences taking Cinema Studies I & II were a mixed bag. On one hand, I watched some classic movies, and met some really cool people, including one of my best friends in I and Lady Hitler in II. On the other hand, it's completely useless as a degree, and I'd never recommend it as one. This personal lolcow primarily has to do with CS II.

Sitting above LH was a girl I'll call J. J was the student whom you could tell had Autism from the start. She had a bad case of tard gut, an unflattering bowl cut, a childish taste in entertainment (Which was weird for a class that involved watching movies like Aguirre and The Seventh Seal) and most importantly, a voice that sounded like a Pee-Wee Herman impression.

My professor was a cool guy whom I could shoot the shit with about anything from auteur directors we admire to trashy b-movies and Italian horror/giallo movies. Unfortunately, J also liked to talk to the professor, 9 times out of 10 to complain about Trump. As the semester went on, my professor's patience slowly waned to the point where he was visibly frustrated and resigned whenever she opened her mouth.

The talking also extended to talking during the movies, meaning she broke the cardinal rule of watching a movie in a class centered around watching movies. Her insightful moments ranged from going "Ew, ew, EWWWWWW" during sex scenes and going "Ew, ew, EWWWWWW" during more violent scenes. When we were watching Pasolini's Oedipus Rex, not only did she keep pronouncing it "Eh-di-puh-pus Rex", but her talking got so obnoxious that the professor had to stop the movie and tell her to knock it off, and LH was wringing her hands ready to strangle J. LH & I spent less time talking about the movie as we went to my dorm, and more time complaining about and mocking J. I was told that my impression of J was "scarily accurate".

At least I got a story and a girlfriend out of taking the class.

Spoiler: Getting an MFA in being an MRA

Screenwriting I was a motley crew of losers, hacks, weirdos, depressives and no-hopers all guided by an older professor with the patience of a saint. One of those students, whom we'll call S, managed to get far and away the most negative reaction from a submitted screenplay.

S could be described as a black, male version of J, only with glasses, braces and a shitty afro. He looked like an overgrown middle schooler that somehow conned his way into a college experience. Also, he had a habit of collecting copies of the script he gave out like we were reading the new Star Wars movie. Nobody else in the class shared this approach.

We had to write three short screenplays in class. Long story short, everyone sucked, but S sucked in a unique way where his skills seemed to get worse as the class went on. Screenplay #1 was a boring ghost movie. Screenplay #2 was a jarring, nonsensical revenge movie that had the whole classroom in stitches. Screenplay #3 is what we're talking about.

The assignment for Screenplay #3 was voiceover and S wrote a screenplay that seems ripped straight out of the Manosphere. The main focus is Female-on-Male rape on a veteran by his fiancee, bit it's so clumsily handled that it's one of the most misogynistic, poorly written things I've ever read. I'll pull some choice quotes:




Truly, he has the writing skills of a young Charlie Kaufman. These people agree:




His was the last script read for the night, and I want you to imagine how well an MRA skewing screenplay went over in a class filled with tired, cranky students on an SJWy campus. If you said "The class tore him a new one for a half hour", then you'd be correct. When class was dismissed and S went around to collect his script, I put the script in my bag, snuck out the back door and put it in my desk drawer for safekeeping. I'll make a .PDF if anyone wants the full experience.

Moral of the story: No matter how bad you may think you are at writing, there's always somebody infinitely worse than you.

I'd be interested in a PDF. Sounds like a treatment of The Room by Elliot Rodger.

 

[Gordon Cole]

I'd be interested in a PDF. Sounds like a treatment of The Room by Elliot Rodger.

I'll get it done ASAP.

EDIT: Done. All typos, errors and nonsensical sentences are the author's own.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

One of my ex girlfriends. Amusingly, I actually typed "girlFIENDS" initially, completely by accident. Quoting from the "borderline personality disorder" thread:



On the surface, she had a good job and her own place. She had the appearance of being a functional member of society. In private, however, she was completely batshit.

Your ex sounds a lot like one of my old ones, except mine tried to kill me.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

Your ex sounds a lot like one of my old ones, except mine tried to kill me.

She never tried to kill me, but she did do worse than the stuff mentioned here. I had to talk her down from suicide once after she got into a run-of-the-mill argument with her brother.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Not really a lolcow but I knew a pair of brothers who were such junkies they shot each other in the foot and went to the hospital to try and get oxycontin prescribed to them. The Doctor saw through their scheme and patched them up and gave them only non-narcotic NSAIDs

 

[Steve Mayers]

I might have posted about this guy I went to college with but I'll post it again.

When I attended college I met this guy in the smoker's pit. At first he just seemed a little quirky but nothing to out of the ordinary. As time went on and had more conversations with him I found that not to be the case at all. First up he was a huge larper and would talk endless to the point of dominating every conversation and make it solely about his larping plans. He carried around a notebook with him everywhere full of his larping ideas, points system, weapons systems, and much more. When he wasn't talking about larping he would talk about how he likes to just go to parking garages and drive around in circles. As he began to talk about other subjects it became clear that he was completely and utterly insane. One day he walked up to us and started talking about how the government is watching him. Then went on to state that he destroyed his phone and TV because the government had bugged them to monitor him. He also admitted to having dreams and fantasies about killing people. When people called him out for being crazy he would state "I'm not crazy to get a mind like mine you have to just smoke a lot of weed." To top it all off he looked pretty much how you'd expect a crazy conspiracy therapist potential mass shooter to dress. Every day he would wear fingerless gloves, wore sunglasses like the ones Morpheus from The Matrix had, and would wear a trench coat.

 

[Bluey]

I still deal with one. Maybe because I pity him, but what can I do? If I knew more about this guy, he could have his own thread, but I rather not. He is just better off mentioning.

I am going to call this person Vic.

Vic is a 23 year old man who proudly states he is a man child. He enjoys anime, video games and well, allot of lesser known things spergs gravitate to. This guy also floats around AniRoleplay, a site that pretty much houses art thieves, editors and drama. He collects friends and forces them to R with him or he creates a shit ton of accounts of characters no one has heard of and moans that he needs to find people to play these characters. Why? So he could talk to them.

He targeted my friend allot that plays as a ton of Gunvolt characters and the guy from Blaster Master. What Vic does to other RPers is force them to do his "weird" missions that are based off action movies. He'd bother my friend allot and sent him spam events. This guy can not Roleplay to save his life.

Vic has a fetish crush to Mii Koryuji from Project X Zone. He harasses allot of female Rpers to RP her for smut or barks that the character should be in games like Super Smash Bros, Dead or Alive or have her own spin off similar to Contra or Double Dragon.


This guy hates Disney movies. He hates family movies.

Screen shot provided by my friend.

He claims Disney and Pixar movies either traumatised his life or that he curses them for making "his" action movies flop.Of course, a family movie will rake in more cash.

Vic claims that certain things ruined his childhood. Such as Game Over Screens, Cobra Commander and The Shredder "taking over" 4Kids with these contests. He claims their "take over" was an act of terrorism.

Vic has compared certain people in fandoms to Isis, Nazis and terrorists due to he has "no luck" whatsoever.

He hates R-Type, a Video game from Irem and spregs over Gradius. He once reported someone on Facebook for an opinion. Many people have lost their accounts due to him. He will harass people who blocked him under his sock puppet accounts. That or if someone talks shit about him and points his flaws, he will send report threats. This guy also is a huge Yo-Kai Watch sperg and would throw huge fits over people who dislike it.

He's pretty infamous around GameFAQs and other forums, causing drama. He's a huge fan of Michael Bay's Transformers. Vic gets angry if people dislike Remakes or CGI in movies. He once said Stop Motion looks like "shit" in his eyes.

He is also one of those people who uses their autism as an excuse or wouldrepsond with "I don't know" when his flaws are pointed out.

Some Snippets my friend gathered from his FB post.

Spoiler: Have fun!

Spoiler: Boi. You get angry over opinions as well.

Spoiler: Anyone can beat that. It isn't a feat one bit.

Spoiler: MY LIFE IS RUINED!

 

[Darwin Watterson]

My old personal lolcow Khalid had a cow relapse the other day. He'd been doing really good for a while, but the riots in Charlottesville seem to have reawakened his dormant exceptionalism.

He knows I voted for Trump (mainly 'cause I didn't like Hillary), so he just starts sending me a barrage of messages about how I'm a white supremacist neo-Nazi, and how I'm stupid because the Nazis would've killed me for such-and-such reasons (in case I need to clarify, no I'm not a Nazi) and that I'm a dumb redneck KKK fanboy because I don't like what Antifa does.

"What's wrong with Antifa, anyway? You're either anti-fascist or a Nazi. There is no in between."

Then, as quickly as it began, it was over. He just started talking pleasantly about his favorite amusement parks as though nothing had happened. He'd also posted some long, spergy status on it, but it's since been deleted.

 

[Nero Claudius]

My personal lolcow is a Reddit member that is obsessed with the League of Legends character Ahri, (a "kumiho" or foxgirl) along with probably being a pathological liar. Seeing as he has little activity outside Reddit and his blog, I was unsure about making a full-fledged thread about him, but I guess it fits the thread.

Not only does he pretend to live with Ahri in AskReddit threads, he also claims that he is a professional booster (player paid for getting other people's ranked rating ups) with several high ranked accounts in Korea (widely considered the best region at the game), introduces himself as majoring in neuroscience and that he will make Ahri real through virtual reality (I wish I could find that copypasta about him) and frequently gets overly obsessive over Ahri, apparently "knowing her" better than anyone because he reportedly went at Riot Games' HQ to talk about her. I think he got banned from the subreddit centered about Ahri after going nuclear over someone's name.

His lastest happening is bitching about the art of Ahri's new skin, most notably the absence of her whiskers, and claims the reason Riot gave for not depicting her with whiskers is weak. It could be noted a previous Ahri skin depicting her without whiskers ended up including them because of his bitching.

tl;dr waifufag that'll make foxgirl real through vr and knows the character better than her writers.

 

[Audit]

My personal lolcow is a Reddit user called Arab_Moroccan. Before he was banned for posting pro-ISIS propaganda, he was a staunch Baathist who would write long essays explaining why Saddam Hussein was actually the best thing that had ever happened to Iraq. Somehow, by merit of many ISIS members having served in Hussein's army, he determined that ISIS was the true successor state to Baathist Iraq and thus earned his badly hidden support; he'd openly stated that he'd join them if he lived in Mosul. Oh, and if being a closeted supporter of ISIS wasn't bad enough, he was also a huge fan of the Nazis and would deny the scale of the holocaust; of course, you can say that about most contributors of r/arabs. Regrettably, he was banned on a handful of socks, he never did stop posting Amaq videos, and hasn't been seen from since.

Naturally, he was a Muslim living in the Netherlands on welfare checks.

Edit: He's back and on twitter https://twitter.com/MorocanArab.

He's not even trying to hide his support for ISIS anymore and he's posting their latest propaganda videos. https://twitter.com/MorocanArab/status/905114198665031680

Proof of his status as a dutch welfare recipient. https://twitter.com/MorocanArab/status/905466805526831104

He's also ranting about Christian missionaries going to Iraq, which somehow is still America's fault. https://twitter.com/MorocanArab/status/905205546889994240
https://twitter.com/MorocanArab/status/905205546889994240
He holds the Nazis in high regard. https://twitter.com/MorocanArab/status/905191406083469317

 

[Turd Burglar]

Honestly, I don't know if this guy counts as a Lolcow but I read his Facebook posts (and his wife's) like the daily newspaper. Maybe you guys will enjoy him too.

This guy is in his late twenties and weighs over 300 pounds. He has long greasy hair, bad tattoo sleeves all the way down to his hands, multiple large facial piercings, an unwashed smelly body, and a lazy eye to rival Shaner's. He also wears eyeliner in the fashion of an ancient Egyptian and sometimes red eyeshadow with it. These things are not bad in themselves -- the reason why these are bad is because he refuses to change his appearance to get a job, saying that he is being discriminated against for being a goth. He is narcissistic, thinking that he is the most handsome man around, taking up to 20 selfies a day and that he is more intelligent than most people, even though he repeatedly proves that he is not. This may possibly be the reason why he does not go on welfare, although it could be because he is lazy or because his wife makes too much for them to qualify. This guy has an unsuccessful metal band where he plays the guitar and sometimes sings while his wife plays the bass.

He met his now-wife about seven or eight years ago on VampireFreaks. She is around 23 or 24 years old right now. There is the potential that he started dating her when she was underage, although I can't prove that one way or the other so take that with a grain of salt. His wife went to school to be a cosmetologist and currently does hair for a living in a mall that is soon to close due to budget cuts. She identifies as a goth as well and works nearly every day of the week. The wife has recently started developing depressive symptoms and panic attacks and has turned to J-Rock to "heal [her] wounds." She is obsessed with these bands, posting pictures that she has screenshotted from the band members' profiles and saying how hot random parts of their bodies are, such as their feet or stomachs. She and her crazy weeaboo friends have started a petition to try to get these bands to come to America. She has also started looking for ass pats on Instagram by describing every detail of her mental illness(es). She says how she cries in the stockroom at work because she's stressed and she can't wait to get home to listen to J-Rock. Her husband couldn't give two shits less and when he chooses to write posts about his wife's issues, he somehow twists them to be about him and what good things he did for her to help her feel better.

These two had moved out and gotten an apartment somewhere a few years ago but they were "evicted with little warning" for "reasons unknown." This happened a few months later with a different landlord in a different apartment. Reasons for eviction could have been that they were practicing with their band in their apartment and disturbing the peace, they have multiple animals that are poorly taken care of and infested the place with fleas, or they could simply not make rent because the guy will not get a job. Now, they live in her parents' basement with their animals and are steadily wearing out their welcome. Since the guy is unemployed and wastes his wife's money on band equipment, they rarely have any money to supply their own living space. One Facebook rant the guy posted not too long ago said that her father was actively hiding toilet paper from them "even though they buy things for [the parents] all the time." I find it hard to believe that they can afford anything, so I'm sure the father was justified in doing what he did.

The biggest problem with these two? Oversharing on Facebook and Instagram. Any time something upsets the guy, he will post a paragraph-long rant on what he thinks and why you are an idiot for not thinking the same way. The wife is most likely to post a picture of one of the Japanese band members and put her sob story in the caption or she will do a makeup video inspired by one of them.

What a trainwreck.

Edited to add a bonus story.

The couple's best friend is a gay warlock who creates spells and casts them on people. He writes about his sex life in detail and is constantly boohooing about how he has no money. He has no money because he cannot pass the psychological survey that most jobs require, asking questions like, "If you needed a $20 bill and could replace it in the drawer the next day, would you borrow it?" Unlike the other two, he realizes when something he writes is ridiculous, so he goes back and DELETES FUCKING EVERYTHING. This is why I don't have the beautiful screenshot of the best thing this guy ever wrote, which was a rant. This rant was about how people were poor-shaming him because he has irritable bowel syndrome and buys bibles at the dollar store to wipe his ass with because using the pages is cheaper than buying toilet paper.

 

[TheImportantFart]

I'll get it done ASAP.

EDIT: Done. All typos, errors and nonsensical sentences are the author's own.

Man that screenplay was a fucking trip. As a screenwriter myself, I like nothing more than reading terrible scripts. I love how it started off as a cliche war story, then veered off into MRA proselytizing. Classic!

I did screenwriting at college as well, but unfortunately (for the purposes of this thread) our class was pretty competent. I do remember reading a script for a short film elsewhere written by an Anon for whom English quite clearly wasn't a first language. At least I hope that's the case because if English was their first language, their teacher has a lot to answer for. I don't have a copy though, which is a shame because it made Tommy Wiseau's writing look like Shakespeare.

 

[D. Sweatshirt]

I've got one and it's a real oddity.

Spoiler: Exhibit A: Davey

Early on in my time on the web, I met a guy we'll call "Davey" as part of a group of friends who frequented a Garry's Mod server. We were just a bunch of kids at the time, so drama was rife in our little group. One of the people in our group, we'll call Sal, was a Tumblr artist and Brony who went along with every fad of the week. Things were fairly laid back until Davey revealed himself to a Brony with a two-year old diapered OC, who Sal would draw constantly; oftentimes with a sagging, full pair of Depends. Pretty disgusting stuff and should've been a huge warning sign to me, but me being young, I didn't care much and felt like I needed the company.

A few months later, Sal has a panic attack and pretty much removes everyone from her Skype contacts, including yours truly and all of the more rational people she hung out with; I recall her reasoning being that they "depressed" her, and that her psychiatrist recommended it. The only people she left on her list were people who were completely exceptional, including Davey. According to other people she removed, Davey and co. also removed them in "support" of her (likely because they all were infatuated with her).

After this happened, all I heard of Davey were murmurings from friends that were still in contact with members of this group. Apparently the guy had gotten kicked out of school for attacking the Principal, started chain-smoking, and developed an extremely short, day long relationship with Sal, who probably cut it off because the guy did nothing but babble and squeak at anyone who said anything he didn't like. Eventually he got sent to a mental hospital for trying to commit suicide with a sword (don't ask me how he got it); when he got out, he supposedly hadn't changed in the slightest and continued to alienate people. I suppose he managed to scare off every one of his old contacts, because I never heard any more after that.

To this day, I consider him to probably be the most exceptional person I've ever dealt with.

I've got a few other stories of potential cows if you guys want to hear them.

 

[SomethingWittyandBadass]

I got a good story about a specifc someone. This person is still around I guess but she always been a pain in the ass and just cringing through her tumblr.

It was 2014, the gamergate revolt was occuring, Zoe Quinn's social life was gonna skyrocket of white knights wanting to dick her, and at Tumblr. A specific known internet celebirity known as SuperPsyGuy was getting rammed entirely by new victims coming out of the woodwork. Apparently everyone had a dildo with Psyguy's name on it, it was hilariously the best thing I had ever seen but one moron stood out more than anyone. Her name is Cyndermizuki.

A lovely individual who basically was whining because psyguy and his group of "elite internet basement dwellers" was fucking destroying this bitch because she was a cringey Takahata101 fangirl. She would not shut the fuck up about it, and to the point where she basically made a video about how she was "abused" by Little Kuriboh because he would not talk to her about it. I couldn't really say where this video is but she's still around and she thinks she called out on Little Kuriboh and that totally means that LK is blocking her. I say this with sarcasm of course, because one of LK's moronic friends: Liz Losely fucking rekt CynderMizuki in the most glorious way possible and to this day. I still want to smile as Liz basically fucking roasts this CynderMizuki on being a really painful glorious asshole and self-entitled little bitch.

So yeah. No one knows what the hell CynderMizuki is really up to these days actually, on a numerous occasions she still sees herself as this wannabe "internet vigiliante" and some what of a cosplayer.

 

[dunbrine47]

About 10 years ago I was involved in a failed game project. There was one member who made a list of suggestions that flipped his shit when his ideas were not considered right away. He proceeded to shit post on and off the site about the project and it's members. Funny story, he decided to shit post on my KF profile today. That's right, he's been trolling me (on and off) for 10 years. I can't help but chuckle at the dedication.
@qetuouk , want to find out what happens next?

 

[qetuouk]

Yeah some guy called dunbrine47, I spend hours designing new graphics for a sequel to a video game. However after submitting them to dunbrine47 (the sites administrator) he refused to display them on the website despite the fact their was and never was there-after any graphics on the website. No surprise the video game dunbrine47 had planned never materialised. Its a shame because if dunbrine47 had displayed my graphics it would have helped increase interest and probably kick-started an influx of crowd funding. To be honest I don't think dunbrine47 ever really wanted to publish a video game. dunbrine47 just liked the power of being site administrator on a website with 12 or so members. Extremely sad!!