Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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in a gurren lagann comm on lj a very long time ago some girl posted that she didnt know there were three holes. im cba to find the thread now but back in the day she provided some laughs
 
I have a few IRL ones, but online I rather enjoy messing with the people the Church of Scientology assigns to deal with negative publicity. One of their beliefs is that they have this super-powerful technology for dealing with "Suppressives" (i.e. anyone who criticises the Church).In practice, this "tech" mostly consists of trying to make you lose your temper so they can report you. Unfortunately, when the tech doesn't work, they themselves tend to get rather worked up, and will become more and more aggressive. When they reach the peak of their rage, I like to say, "Whatever, man, you obviously care a lot about this, but it's not really that important to me. I'll let you get on with it."
 
There's this guy at my university which we've lovingly dubbed "Dunka Dunka." He's this gigantic guy (and I mean he towers over nearly everyone he speaks with) who always wears the same grease stained shirts and pants and just wanders around bothering random people. He's in that awkward area where it's extremely uncomfortable to speak with him, but he's not really offensive enough to warrant a complaint or anything. So, people just smile and nod, hoping he'll go away.

Some memorable moments with Dunka Dunka include where he walked up to a curry stand my brother was running which had a pikachu doll at the front. He said "Wow, pikachu is the most well known pokemon!" When the girls there tried to sell him curry, he just repeated what he said earlier and then walked off.

The second encounter was with my other brother. My brother was eating chips with gravy and only had a few soggy gravy slathered chips left. Dunka Dunka walked up to him and said "Are you going to finish that?" My brother gave him the disgusting soggy chips to which he responded with a really badly pronounced "Danke danke!"

The third encounter was when I was sitting in this private study room with my brother and his friend. Dunka Dunka enters the room and begins to essentially babble at us about his degree. He then asked for some spare change, which we gave him, then he left. We all asked each other if we knew him, and none of us really did. Later on, a girl my brother knows joined us and Dunka Dunka passed by again. He immediately homed in on her and began babbling about the stars at Pittsworth or something, then leaves the room. She immediately asked us if we knew him, to which we responded with a resounding no.

The four encounter happened, funnily enough, when we were talking about him. Dunka Dunka came up to us and made that weird hand gesture Spock does and begins talking about some Star Trek battle. He then goes on to mention there were 52 ships destroyed in that battle, names about seven of them and then walks off. He then walks back and names a few more before getting bored and leaving again.

While he's not a particularly offensive or intimidating sort of person, he's definitely unusual enough to make one uncomfortable.
 
It gets even more pathetic when you take into account that this guy's "expertise" came from having sex a handful of times, was bi or semi-closeted gay (either way he preferred dicks to vaginas), and known to kinda/pretty dumb (as this demonstrates). Versus me, who is a chick and was known for being smart (because I read books for fun and studied for class and no my classmates didn't think either one was a good thing).
 
This guy is somebody from DeviantArt that I've known for a while. He's not too bad but sometimes his attitude can be intolerable.

The main thing being that he whines. About everything. He whines that he doesn't have enough time to draw, but he has plenty of time to do his 'Friday Night Rituals' which consist of stuffing his face with food, watching Star Trek and music videos and recording this said ritual and uploading them onto the internet.

Then he whines that people don't pay enough attention to his art. He draws at least once every six months and it's almost always the same characters. In the same pose. Sometimes in a different outfit, but they're mostly standing and grinning inanely. And he tends to shoehorn them into every conversation with little to no provocation and expects everyone to know them inside out and gush about them as often as he does. He's also a comment beggar. He goes around begging for comments on his art and videos when he hardly ever leaves any himself unless the piece contains his characters in them.

There's a "Whose Line is it Anyway?" art jam I've participated in and he whined about that too. About how he desperately wanted to join in but he couldn't because he "couldn't think of a joke" and that the jam was "too hard" for him to do. First off, if you watch Whose Line, then it's pretty easy to make a simple situation funny with just a few phrases and your imagination. Secondly, he's not even a fan of Whose Line is it Anyway. That's like complaining that the line to go on the roller-coaster is too long, but you don't even like roller-coasters. The mind boggles.

This one incident really made me feel that I was being taken for granted by him. A few days before my birthday he showed me a sketch of my characters he did as a surprise. He said he probably wouldn't have it done on time for my birthday, but he said he'd finish it as soon as he could. I thought it was nice of him to tell me in advance, so I thanked him and let him know I was grateful. Around 3 months after my birthday I was hosting a Livestream and he piped up to ask me if I was going to finish a bunch of sketches I did for him. It took me a while to remember what he was talking about, but then I realised he was talking about some sketch requests I did almost a year ago which I had lost due to my computer crashing. He then berated me on how I should always keep my promises and finish things off when I said I would. I then remembered the birthday picture, so I asked him if he had finished it yet. He then got all defensive and listed off a mile of excuses on how he "didn't feel inspired enough" and that he had "very little creative mojo". After the stream he sent me the progress of the picture. In the span of three months he had inked one of the two characters and that's all. So he pretty much told me he didn't finish it because he couldn't be bothered. And then he has the gall to complain when people don't draw him a picture for his birthday.
This is the same guy I'm talking about so I thought I'd carry on from here...

This guy also has a pie-in-the-face fetish. Now that would be weird in itself but the thing is, he won't admit it's his fetish. Almost every single drawing he's ever done includes someone with a pie in their face and the way he describes these drawings is borderline sexual but he gets really angry if you even allude to the fact that some people consider it their fetish. He also tries to insert pies into every conversation he has and when you tell him to reel it in a bit, he gets all moody and defensive and complains about the fact he can't talk about his favourite subject anymore. I think if he just came out of his transparent closet, he'd be a lot happier.
 
Oh boy, do I have a long, crazy story to tell. I knew a guy who was probably the closest I'll ever get to seeing someone like the interesting people we've discussed in the past in person. I'll call him Gilbert. Anyways, I met Gilbert when I was 11, and at that time, I was able to get along with him because I was an awkward kid with somewhat strange interests. Even back then, however, I could tell he was a little weird.

Gilbert was absolutely obsessed with cartoons and children's shows, talked about them all the time every single hour of the fucking day, and it was rare for him to start conversations that didn't have something to do with cartoons. He wrote crossover fanfics on fanfiction.net, and would sometimes ask me to help him out with them. It was usually stupid shit like the Rugrats becoming spies and meeting Disney characters and Bugs Bunny. I politely told him that I thought these were dumb and had no interest them, although did not intend to offend him. Surprisingly enough, he took this well, but still talked about his crossover fics from time to time, although slightly less.

Gilbert often obsessed over specific shows, characters, and movies for a certain amount of time as well. For awhile, he was completely obsessed with Rugrats, yet at the same time, had no idea what the fuck it was even about. He would make silly shit up off the top of his head and decide it was real. He would tell us that Rugrats was a show about Angelica, who he would always call "Angie" and insist people call her that. In his twisted version of the show, Angelica was a super smart girl with a Southern accent who knew karate and was a spy, who also sometimes babysat dimwitted children. He also inserted himself (The character was even named after him) in there as a toddler and said that his character was Angelica's boyfriend, and said his favorite characters had to be "Angelica, Gilbert" and some other stupid character I forgot the name of. Oh yeah and he also said that the show contained a lot of swearing.

Of course, I kindly told him I had no idea what the hell he was talking about and that the actual show was nothing like that. He still insisted it was exactly that, and was beginning to get extremely upset. He eventually told me that what I saw was probably a robot chicken skit, and at this point, he seemed like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. For a little bit he even tried to get me to "accept" that the show was like that, or to "give it a try", as if I somehow personally insulted him. It was the most autistic situation I've ever witnessed.

He also obsessed over Thomas The Tank Engine, and would get really defensive when I said that I thought he might be a little too old to be watching that show. I guess one time when I really offended him, he took some markers and poorly drew two pictures that made Sonichu look like the Mona Lisa. One was of me about to be run over by Thomas with an evil grin on his face, and the other of "Angie" in a generic white karate robe about to deliver a flying kick into my face. I thought it was retarded and extremely fucking childish, but he got over it rather quickly and apologized to me and I somehow accepted his apology.

Like many spergs before him, Gilbert told absolutely cringe worthy jokes. One I remember was about two babies/toddlers in a daycare who thought they were the opposite gender of what they actually were, and then when their diapers got changed, they looked down and discovered they wrong. It was the most retarded joke I have ever heard being told by someone who wasn't in Kindergarten.

Gilbert had really, really overprotective parents who would only let him indulge in kid's media, and would freak out if he ever heard swearing or anything "dirty". I think his dad might have even been weary of him saying "Crap" or "Sucks", and even the words "Butt" and "Fart", the latter of which his mom thought went too far. I think they enabled his bizarre behavior, but I didn't see them too much. Even at 11-12 I couldn't discuss a lot of what I was interested in at the time.

Gilbert sperged a lot over Robot Chicken, and would beg everyone around him to not tell his parents that he watched it. He probably didn't even understand half the jokes, and probably just watched it because it's a "mature" show and makes him feel less childish.

Gilbert was not allowed to watch The Fairly Odd Parents, because he would get extremely pissed off when ever Vicky was on screen and would begin yelling and swearing at the TV screen, or "at her" as he said in his own words. As you can probably already tell, Gilbert does not do a good job of separating reality from fantasy. He even mentioned that he wished all of the things Timmy wished for went completely as planned. When I said that lack of conflict makes a show boring, he said "not for him!", obviously referring to Timmy. To me that has to be on par with Chris thinking that Toontown from Roger Rabbit is actually a real place somewhere.

It's worth mentioning Gilbert hated romance in the same exact way a young child would, and would say "Ewww", "Yuck", or "Gross" when ever somebody talked about romance and women. Keep mind, this guy was 13 when I first met him, and he turned 17 this past January. Now here's where this story takes a turn for the weird, or the even weirder rather. I began to drift away from Gilbert around the time I was 13, having my interests change, maturing, and overall just having next to nothing in common with him.

It was around this time that Gilbert became obsessed with me, and I noticed it first hand. I'm pretty sure he's never had any friends, and when I made the mistake of being nice to him and being a bit of a friend to him, he latched onto me. I don't know for sure, but that reason sounds plausible. Anyways, he would always say that he was my "best friend", even though at that time I hung out with other kids much more and rarely hung out with him anymore.

One day, while I was relaxing on my computer, I got a phone call from Gilbert. I picked up the phone and said "Hi", and he asked me when I wanted to hang out. I didn't want to, so I just told him I was busy. This is where the conversation got a lot creepier. He mentioned that instead of getting married, he wants to live with me as a roommate.

This alone already creeped me out, but did not prepare me for what he was about to do next. Gilbert got really nervous and then told me through his frantic speech something along the lines of "I.. Gah! I don't think I actually feel this way, but let's just say I enjoy your presence more than any other girl."

I hung up, being both creeped the fuck out and confused. Gilbert is seemingly asexual and hates romance, and has a third grader's understanding of sex, yet he was hitting on me. To this day I'm not even sure what the fuck he was actually doing or what he felt like. Believe it or not, that is not when I made the decision to cut contact with Gilbert. Big mistake, I know. The last time I remember seeing him in person was when I was 14 and his dad took us to eat pizza, and then to get ice cream. I accepted this because I had nothing else to do that day Again, a mistake made out of kindness.

Not only could I not talk about most of what I was interested in around these two, but the atmosphere was awkward and uncomfortable as shit. I tried to not let his dad leave us alone, and also tried not to sit directly across from Gilbert, for reasons you can probably figure out yourself. After how uncomfortable that was, I decided that was when I was going to cut all ties with Gilbert.

To this day he still occasionally calls my mom's phone, but I have since gotten a new iPhone 4 with a different number, so when I stopped answering calls on my old phone, I guess he just stopped bothering. I don't think he's stalking me, as the calls are very infrequent and only happen months apart most of the time. I've tried to find his crossover fanfics and see if he has an internet presence, but so far have found nothing.

This concludes the tale of spergery, that is of Gilbert the almighty autist. Hope all of you enjoyed reading this crazy shit. :lol:

* Gilbert had an irrational hatred of the military for reasons that made absolutely no sense. I don't even recall him giving a reason, other than that they could use the police instead or something retarded like that.

* Because of Popeye The Sailor Man, he believed that if you ate spinach in real life you would suddenly become really strong. Not even making this one up or exaggerating it in the slightest.

* Gilbert thought that McDonalds was healthy. Believe it or not, he was tall and lanky rather than fat as fuck.

EDIT:
* One really weird thing he would do that I forgot to mention was that he would pace back and forth while rambling to himself about movies and TV shows, or his stupid fanfics.

EDIT again: Before he worked on his anger issues, when Gilbert would get really angry at something or someone, sometimes he would talk about how he was going to take over the world and would even chant "World domination!".

He also would talk about how he was going to buy a tank online and be unstoppable. I am making none of this up, and the kid was completely serious.
 
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I have a few IRL ones, but online I rather enjoy messing with the people the Church of Scientology assigns to deal with negative publicity. One of their beliefs is that they have this super-powerful technology for dealing with "Suppressives" (i.e. anyone who criticises the Church).In practice, this "tech" mostly consists of trying to make you lose your temper so they can report you. Unfortunately, when the tech doesn't work, they themselves tend to get rather worked up, and will become more and more aggressive. When they reach the peak of their rage, I like to say, "Whatever, man, you obviously care a lot about this, but it's not really that important to me. I'll let you get on with it."
Can I have a link to that "technology"?
 
This is the same guy I'm talking about so I thought I'd carry on from here...

This guy also has a pie-in-the-face fetish. Now that would be weird in itself but the thing is, he won't admit it's his fetish. Almost every single drawing he's ever done includes someone with a pie in their face and the way he describes these drawings is borderline sexual but he gets really angry if you even allude to the fact that some people consider it their fetish. He also tries to insert pies into every conversation he has and when you tell him to reel it in a bit, he gets all moody and defensive and complains about the fact he can't talk about his favourite subject anymore. I think if he just came out of his transparent closet, he'd be a lot happier.


We also shared a tribute video of the late Rik Mayall and the only bit he talked about was a small clip where Rik gets covered in 'raw sewage'. Reducing poor Wik's career to his messy fetish. That made me a bit hot under the collar and I called him out on it by pointing out that there WERE other gags in the video. Naturally, he got all defensive and touchy.
 
The tale of Laura
Laura was a girl I knew in high school. And she was fat. Now, I have no problems with fat people, but she was the type of fat person almost everyone hates. She was the type who insisted that she wasn't fat and was constantly wearing tight clothes and miniskirts and other items of clothing that do not work on fat people.

But anyways, Laura had one of the worst personalities ever. She was the typical "I'm so DARK and COMPLICATED PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR ELSE YOU'LL BE SORRY" emo type. She also just had to butt into any conversation if it was even somewhat related to something she liked. For example, once I was hanging out at the library with a friend and we were just discussing random anime when Laura just butts in and starts talking to us about how she loves the really DARK AND EDGY anime and she also just LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES yaoi because it's so SEXY and takes out her notebook to show us her "art". And well, her "art" was crappy drawings of people with super sharp chins, big animu eyes, just horrible anatomy like no necks were drawn, bodies were lopsided, too many fingers, limbs being thin as a stick, and other things. And literally all of her drawings were of her noodle people "crying" with captions like "Why is my life so much pain!" and "I curse the God that made me this way!!"

Then she asked if my friend and I thought that her art was good. Naturally, we both said no and pointed out the bad anatomy and such, but of course, she was the type who couldn't take any criticism at all, so she started to threaten to report us for "bullying" her unless we stopped "insulting her art". Neither my friend nor I wanted to keep this up, so he just started ignoring her and I just said "Whatever." Then she, well, she didn't flip out, but started to get pissed and demanded that I take back what I said about her art or else she'd report my "tranny ass" and get me suspended. At that point, I simply got up, grabbed my backpack, told to her to piss off, and left the library.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) that little incident was the only direct interaction I had with Laura, but my friend who I was with in this incident had three of his classes with her, so he'd often tell me about how during things like English class or whatever, Laura would read her stories of the depressed and so edgy and dark girls who are TORMENTED by the GODS who hate them and would get pissed when anyone would do anything other than heap praise upon her and insist that her stories were like the next great novel and she didn't need to follow the assignment requirements for the stories. (I had the same teacher as my friend and Laura, but a different period, so I knew the teacher's requirements for student written stories, which I believe was a minimum of 2 pages in length but no longer than 5) She'd also draw her shitty emo animu "art" all over tests and whatever, even if it was one of those tests where you're not supposed to write on the test.

Laura stopped going to our school like halfway through 10th grade, apparently her mother took her out so she could be homeschooled because the school wasn't doing anything about the "bullies that mocked her child all the time".
 
so a long time ago the first stage of colgate's evolution into clusterfuck began.

begin 2011, where b/w tensions were running higher than stoners at the time, but he still had his head stuck up the ass of pokemon generation three. i knew early on, by counting our oc/canon pairings which somehow always became that, as the guy at the time had few ocs that caught my interest (in his defense he's gotten a LOT better at writing, to a level i couldn't possibly achieve myself) but unfortunately that DANG DIRTY FOOT FETISH always kicked in at bad times. whenever we rp'd smut, it ended up having feet involved. he especially enjoyed the smell. i had a groudon gijinka girl ( i still have her) who trekked about barefoot. that development was a desperate method of gaining an rp, as i had few partners. i know to not stoop that low, it's no longer worth it.

then the drama happened.

i was a stupid ass teenager with my meloetta giinka sue who somehow ended up in a relationship with ghetsis. nobody knows how, but without delving into detail, i became the lolcow for a while. this destroyed whatever friendship we had until 2012, when i discovered the guy was a huge furry and had a boner for reshiram. much like justinrpg i think??? but he wasnt as bad.

however, this is only the first part of my marvelous journey

also yeah im still friends with him. aside from his fetish he's actually one of my best friends and has been really supportive of almost everything i do. he may be my personal lolcow, but he is one of the best people i know

how can a lolcow be one of the best people you know? from what you said he was just a guy with a weird fetish

if hes a good person who's not completely dysfunctional hes not a lolcow hes just a guy with a weird fetish
 
My routine computer scan kind of amused me this time.

harmful_website_by_granitoons-d7mvzbj.jpg
 
I was poking through GameFaqs the other day for walkthroughs of some old 1990s RPGs I downloaded when I sparked a memory of a GameFaqs lolcow I used to follow back in the early 2000s: Stinger 3:16. He was an insanely religious Indonesian guy who wrote a bunch of really incoherent Engrish walkthroughs for survival horror games like Dino Crisis and Resident Evil. Each of his FAQs would have a section in the end called "List of Damned" where he ranted and threatened to kill anybody who criticized or stole his FAQs in a broken mixture of English, Malay, and Javanese. He seems to have gotten banned sometime since then, and most of his FAQs are lost.
 
I probably have brought this up before, but Eric Crooks also makes me chuckle/cringe with sympathy. He thinks his "subversive, satirical show" that was briefly on public access has legion of fans. He thinks he's the next Jim Henson. He is obsessed with Bob Procter, being an ENPF, and puts up attraction signs for a business partner/life partner (who must be a butch lesbian, because he identifies as a woman.)

I knew him in high school, and always thought he was a nice kid, if a little gawky and weird and obsessive. He disappeared for a while, and reappeared with an insane ego.

He sees himself as sharp and edgy, but his satire involves stating the obvious, ala A-Log.

A follow up. Looks like K.Engleheart has taken a shine to another fat gender-confused autistic person.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/officialericcrookscom/499755326791857
 
When I was in Kindergarten, whenever my hair was getting a little too long, my dad would take me across the bridge near Parris Island to see a barber named Al Marchant, a man who has haunted me ever since. I've never spoken to the guy since then, nor do I want to.

You are about to learn why.

You see, Al is a complete psychopath, and he's garnered a reputation in Beaufort County, SC as something of a local lowlife. The scumbag seemingly treats everyone in his vicinity like dog shit. The man also seems obsessed with Elvis Presley, and even pulls guns on people (see below), one of whom is a nice man I know who works at a Golden Corral. Oh, the guy happens to be black. Al's a huge racist. Aside from the military banning personnel from going to his barbershop due to his antisocial tendencies and discriminatory behavior (see below), nothing has really been done to put his antics to an end. He apparently has friends on the local police force who keep him out of trouble.

2004 forum post about Al:
Moved to Beaufort and one of the first places I noticed was "Big Al's" barber shop. Right outside the Parris Island gate. First day off work, I went and got me a HAIRCUT. You know...the kind where they shave the back of your neck with a straight razor. OH YEAH! A HAIRCUT!!!

But one of the strange things that hit me right off was I was alone in the shop. No other customers. Didn't think a lot about it...just a quick mental flash.

Then I noticed all the freakin' Elvis memorabilia in the place. And the Elvis sideburns on the barber. And it occurred to me that the guy had not muttered a word. I walked in and he just pointed to the chair, in which I promptly took a seat. Ya know, normally, barbers are kinda talkative. Not THIS guy. Only sound that came from him was "Mmmm" when I got up and paid him the very reasonable $8.

Three weeks pass and I need another cut. I go back to Al's with a plan to strike up a conversation...you know...to make friends. After all, he was quiet but gave a decent haircut. And the lotion stung my neck after the pass by the razor. (Yeah! A real HAIRCUT, by golly!)

So I walk in. "How's it goin'?" says I. "Mmh," says Big Al. I thought, "This should prove interesting."

What with all the Elvis memorabilia around and the fact I had seen Elvis live twice in Vegas during the early '70's during his prime, maybe Big Al and I can become friends. Lo and behold. Al responded with 21st century American English...BUT...a very strange conversation took place. This was it:

Me: Elvis fan, are you?
BA: No.
(VERY pregnant silence at this point, my eyes darting from Elvis statue to Elvis picture to Elvis jukebox, etc.)
Me: Really? Ever see him live in concert?
BA: Almost.
(Another pregnant silence. Was he just trying to get ne to shut up? YOU guys who spend any time in ARP know that ain't hap'nin'.)
Me: Almost? What do you mean?
BA: (The longest stretch of words I ever heard come from Al followed.) Had 2 tickets to see him in Charleston. Took my girlfriend up there to see him. Got outside the coliseum and thought I better not go in.
(More silence. Then...)
Me: (Something told me I should not ask that little 3 letter question.) Why?
Al: I thought he might sing better'n me and I'd have ta kill 'im.

It immediately occurred to me that Big Al was just about to shave my neck with that razor. I didn't open my mouth again and probably turned the color of the purest snow you have ever seen. Al finished the haircut, I paid him and whimpered "Umm" and backed out of the shop.
2008 article concerning the military ban on his business, which is now called the He & She Barbershop.
A self-styled "military barber shop" in the Shell Point area was placed off-limits to area Marines and sailors in 2006 after its owner threatened a Marine Lieutenant Colonel with a handgun, according to documents released this week by the Staff Judge Advocate at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island.
The Gazette filed a Freedom of Information Act request last month with the depot, asking for details on how Al's Military Barber Shop came to be the only Beaufort-area business that Marines and sailors aren't allowed to patronize. The Gazette received 16 pages of documents related to Al's off-limits status on Thursday.
A letter from the Carolina Lowcountry Armed Forces Disciplinary Control Board -- a body comprising representatives from Parris Island, Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort and Naval Hospital Beaufort --to the shop's owner, Al Marchant, said the panel decided to ban Beaufort-based Marines and sailors from the barbershop after Marchant "made a threatening gesture of brandishing a weapon in the presence of a military customer..." earlier that month.
The incident in question occurred on Aug. 6, 2006 when a Marine Lieutenant Colonel took his son to the barbershop to get his hair trimmed, according to an incident report from the Beaufort County Sheriff's Office.
The man said that despite telling Marchant what he wanted, Marchant proceeded to give the child a "Marine" haircut. When the man objected, an argument ensued which ended when Marchant told the man to leave his business, according to the incident report.
The man returned shortly thereafter and another argument ensued, during which Marchant allegedly picked up a silver handgun.
According to the report, Marchant held the gun by his side and said, "Give me a reason to spend the next 20 years in prison."
Marchant denied picking up the gun, but did tell a Beaufort County Sheriff's deputy that he pointed to it on the cash register and told the man that if he "wanted to come back at high noon he would make him look like a strainer," according to the incident report.
According to a two-page, hand-written statement by a witness, Marchant did pick up the handgun and when the Lieutenant Colonel asked if Marchant planned to shoot him, Marchant said, "When I'm ready to serve 20 years in prison, I'll let you know."
The name of the witness and the Lieutenant Colonel were redacted from the documents because releasing them would cause "an unwarranted invasion of personal privacy," wrote Col. W.A. Stafford, the depot's Staff Judge Advocate.
Marchant was never arrested on charges of pointing and presenting a firearm, according to the Sheriff's Office.
Repeated attempts to contact Marchant for this article and previous articles have been unsuccessful.
Local news article concerning the ban, dated 2008.
Al's Military Barbershop is off limits to Marines and sailors in the Tri-Command. The Armed Forces Discriminatory Control Board, made up of representatives from Beaufort's Bases, put that ban in place after a complaint.
The Marine Corps isn't commenting on the specific allegation, but says they've given the owner of the barbershop, Al Marchant, several opportunities to state his case and he's never responded.
"Al's Military Barbershop is placed off-limits due to allegations of discriminatory practices against service members as well as in some of those instances as they unfolded, presented themselves to be an unsafe environment for service members to be at," said Parris Island public affairs officer, MSgt Mark Oliva.
We contacted Marchant and he had no comment.
While the Marine Corps isn't giving any details on the allegation, we did find out that police have been called to his barbershop several times.
In one police report, the victim states Marchant threatened them with a gun after they complained about the way he cut their hair. In other police reports, victims claim Marchant threatened them and showed off the gun, but did not point it at them.
According to Port Royal Police, Marchant was arrested in March for aggravated assault. They say Marchant followed a woman into the Bi-Lo Parking lot after an issue on the roadway, pointed a gun at her and threatened her.
 
This woman isn't so much a lolcow as just really crazy. I seem to have an above-average concentration of crazy and drama in my life, like I'm filling a quota for several other people. If you have a life without drama and crazy, you're welcome, because I'm pretty sure I'm getting your share.

Anyway.

This starts with one of my roommates. We'll call him Rob. Rob's been with his fiancee Tanya for ten years now. They're both in their early thirties, but don't live together for a number of reasons that aren't important here. What is important is that Tanya is really, REALLY insecure and jealous because she's has bad experiences in the past with guys who fool around. But Rob isn't one of those, he adores Tanya and is 100% faithful to her. But she doesn't believe him.

So she accuses him of cheating with any convenient woman that she thinks is hotter and skinnier than she is. I'm skinnier, but not by much, which is enough to garner hate.

The first time this happened was shortly after Rob moved into the house, six months ago. He and my boyfriend and I were wandering around the city for something to do but nothing was open because it was a holiday. Tanya called to ask what he was doing, and all he got out was, 'I'm out with Boy and Axiom--' before she hung up. He called back and I only heard half the conversation but basically she was accusing him of fucking around with me, even though my boyfriend was with us. And Rob couldn't be less interested in me if he TRIED. We're friends. That's it. He handled it really well, actually, and managed to talk her out of breaking up over this (yeah she wanted to break up because he happened to be hanging out with me), and her SISTER even called to ask what was going on and concluded Tanya was being crazy.

He apologized to me and Boything about it, saying it wasn't my fault, it was hers. He's gotten really good at handling her level of lunacy.

There were a few small incidents where she got upset because I wore something she thought she was 'too fat' to wear or I talked about sex and she got upset or jealous, but never to my face, and I've never been anything but polite and friendly to her. I even helped her put together a steampunk costume for a fancy dress party.

And then last week I needed a lift home from work. My car died so I've been getting rides, some of which come from Rob, which I give him gas money or make food for. He's a man, if he gets food he's happy.

Rob couldn't come get me though. I had to arrange a ride last minute, because Tanya declared that she didn't want him alone in a car with me. Because..... I don't know, she thinks we are fucking in a moving car or something. I don't know. Boything goes with him half the time and the other half there's someone around who can verify that only the minimum amount of time required to get me from work was taken.

I was mostly just shocked that she'd be THIS crazy, but eventually I got angry. So did Boything. Because not only is Tanya accusing Rob of cheating, she's accusing ME, and I would never ever do that. She's basically calling me a whore, and for no reason other than I happen to be a reasonably cute woman who shares a house with several people of whom her fiance is one. This triggered a fight between them but I have no idea how bad a fight it was. I do know they made up. Yeah.

I'm not so angry anymore, but am still shaking my head. I understand insecurity and jealousy. I'm a great big pathetic mass of insecurities. And I understand that some people really are permanently damaged by assholes who take advantage of them. I have a serious and irrational issue with men who have the same name as my brother because he was an abusive turd and got away with it.

But seriously, I'm not fucking your fiance in a moving car. I'm not a threat. And I'm also not a monster.

Fortunately this particular breed of crazy has a cat allergy so she can't hang out here often.
 
I have a few IRL ones, but online I rather enjoy messing with the people the Church of Scientology assigns to deal with negative publicity. One of their beliefs is that they have this super-powerful technology for dealing with "Suppressives" (i.e. anyone who criticises the Church).In practice, this "tech" mostly consists of trying to make you lose your temper so they can report you. Unfortunately, when the tech doesn't work, they themselves tend to get rather worked up, and will become more and more aggressive. When they reach the peak of their rage, I like to say, "Whatever, man, you obviously care a lot about this, but it's not really that important to me. I'll let you get on with it."

What kind of technology do they have?
 
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