Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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Nah, sorry, this was like 10 years ago on her desktop. I'm not saying that I couldn't dig them up, though, since she had no problem sharing them with skeezes on the internet. Her username? That's some classified information, right there. Remember that I'm not trying to pull myself into this? If I was actually smart, I would have just made a thread about her and kept the fact that she was my own mother to myself, but y'know, some people act without thinking. I'm an impulsive son of a bitch.
 
Dude, give fun content about your mom's shit eating lunacy or stop begging for attention. Just type out the dumb shit she did using a fake name since you sure as shit ain't making a thread as far as I can tell. I did it with my personal cows (except Stephen, because fuck that guy).
 
More fine cringe from KL as I alluded to in my last post! I did some digging and found some of her old Kim Possible fanart. She was a proud shipper of Kim ( who is 16 or something) and the villain Senor Senior Sr (who's 80 or some shit) She's done some really...fabulous artwork.
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Couldn't find it but there's a version of this she hand drew that was a bit more...spicy.
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I'm sure I brought it up in my original post about her but she handsews dolls of horses and her favorite characters (including a life-sized doll of Khan from Star Trek!), so here's Kim and SSS. She's sent me some dolls and I should note that they're kind of odd. They're made out of a really slick fabric and she uses metallic paint and glitter gel, so they feel kind of weird to the touch. The sewing itself is kind of amateurish for a woman who tries to make her living doing this.
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She also had a forum thread dedicated to pretending she was Kim writing in her diary about SSS.
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That's all super old stuff, so have a new piece in her series of mildly creepy fanart between Loki and the little girl dressed as him.
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Here's one a friend told me about. So there was this weirdish arcade with a bit of hoarding going on, a nutty owner who was angry at people taking pics of the arcade (something that's usually encouraged), and all. I looked it up a bit, and besides a whole Yelp page about the owners autism mixed in with the usual "machines are broken" comments you find in any run down arcade the guy was on an episode of hoarders. While collecting stuff was crazy enough, he made tons of mannequins of himself, and kept his own hair in jars for these even eating it in front of the camera crew. Last year or so the boardwalk kicked him out too.
 
First off love the forums here. Been reading them for over a week and figured I would join.

Haven't seen many posts about all the LOLCows in the IWC. IWC is the internet wrestling community. It use to be a tiny community of maybe 100 people. Now thanks to Twitter and FB it is flooded with some real winners.

Kevin Volture is what I shall call him. Is a hardcore wrestling fan from the NE. He has been banned from every major and minor wrestling forum on the net.
1.Claims at the age of 15 he was hired by ECW.
2.Claims that he saw someone die in the ring at a CZW show. But the owners of CZW are mobbed up and kept it covered up.
3.Told people for years he was ECW TV champ. Claims he won the belt on a ECW event that wasn't filmed and lost it on another ECW event that wasn't filmed. The problem is pretty much every ECW show besides one was filmed.
4.Told people for years he was close friends with Vince Russo. And that Vince was trying to bring him into WCW and then later on TNA to help book. During this time Kevin Volture was 16 to 18.
5.He is in his early 30s now. Lives with his mom. Doesn't work and depending on who he is talking to either he gets a disability check and food stamps each month or just gets food stamps.
6.His Mom refuses to cook for him. So Volt lives on a diet of Tombstone Pizzas,Tyson Chicken Nuggets and Chef Boyardee.
7.For his 27th birthday his mother couldn't get his cake the day of his birthday. Volt pitched a fit and his mom kicked him out for the night.
8.The cake,I need to dig up a picture of it,had pictures of CM Punk and John Cena on it. It looked like something an 8 year old would get.
9.The last wrestling forum he was at he would write out long,like 20 to 30 paragraphs long,reviews of Porn parodies. Critiquing the acting and special effects.
10.He would spent 16 to 18 hours a day at the above mentioned forum. Posting and posting. Sometimes there would be threads that were nothing but Volt replying to himself over and over again.
11.He did something to get banned,no idea what.He got a weeklong ban. All of the sudden a new account appeared. Claiming to be Volt's brother. Saying they shared a computer. The "brother" started posting porn parody reviews.
12.Two times in a month he posted about how someone tried to run him over in his front yard. He claims it is cause he lives on a curvy street.
13.Told a story one time about how in high school a bunch of kids held him down and made him eat a used tampon. When asked why he didn't turn them in to the principal he said "I did. But cause one of the kids was the principal's son nothing was done."
14.Claimed him and his brother raw a indie wrestling fed in their hometown. And to prove it posted 2 pics of Volt in a ring. Wearing a ref shirt and a hat. Claimed his gimmick was he was hat ref.Never mind that ref's are rarely given gimmicks.
15.Claimed that after ECW folded he got hired on to work for XPW. Which was a wrestling group run by a porn company.
16.Said he got fired from XPW for peeping on Lizzie Bordon,the owner's wife and a porn star,in the shower.
17.When someone asked why he was peeping on her in the shower when she was a porn star Volt claimed that "Lizzie only did lesbian porn. So I wanted to see her without a twat in her mouth."
18.Someone linked him to a database showing Lizzie did more than lesbian porn. Volt claimed "All her male costars were women that they CGIed dicks onto."
19.Said that his time running the indie fed with his brother was the best time in his life. But every pic he posted of himself from this time he was never smiling.
20.Claimed he worked at a Blockbuster Video that had a porn room. And 2 weeks before the store closed he got busted jacking off in the porn room. But wasn't fired cause the store was going to close anyway.
21.Loves Sonic the hedgehog.I have seen this is a common trait with most LOLCows.
22.He also is obsessed with Christmas.
23.Begs his broke brother to buy him expensive snowglobes each Chirstmas. The brother is trying to raise a kid and the brother also has had 3 brain tumors in the past 5 years. So only works part time.
24.Bragged about his collection of "over 3000 porn dvds."
25.At various times claimed he can't drive cause of vision issues. Then would in the next post talk about driving to a show to hang out with various indie wrestlers.
26.Swore he was close friends with Velvet Sky and Chris Sabin. Fairly well known wrestlers who happened to be dating back then and lived near Volt.
27.Supposedly on his birthday Velvet took Volt to see a movie. Then they went back to the house she shared with Sabin. Where Velvet was going to cook Volt a birthday dinner. Volt got busted in the bathroom sniffing what he thought was Velvet's undies. Sabin walks in and yells "VOLT WHY ARE YOU SNIFFING MY TRUNKS?!?!"
28.Would dress up as Santa and goto "The poor neighborhoods" walking the streets handing out candy to the kids. Had the cops called on him many times for doing this. "It's cause I am white and in a negro neighborhood."
29.Talked for years about how April Hunter was a close friend of his. She is a minor indie wrestling celeb. Someone contacted her.Turns out she and her then boyfriend worked an autograph signing Volt and his brother set up. Her boyfriend had to leave early to work a show. After he left Volt offered April 200 bucks to piss on him.
30.Supposedly has been married. But is still "A technical virgin". Claimed his wife wouldn't let him use a condom. And didn't want kids. "So all I got was blowjobs and to bang her in the butt."
31.Supposedly his now ex wife was a ring rat,wrestling slang for a groupie. She hooked up with him at a XPW show. Then left him for Hurricane Helms,Jeff Hardy and a slew of other names.


There is a bunch more but I am tired of typing.
 
Kevin Volture part 2.

1.He would make posts about how he was broke. So someone told him to sell some of his "3000" porn dvds. "I can't do that cause most of them aren't legal to own. Don't worry they aren't CP they are real incest porn."
2.Admitted to lots of people that he had a crush on his aunt and her teenage daughter.
3.He also sent people copies of his PMs off one forum. Were him and a mod were roleplaying incest. Including some highlights like "Come suckle on Mommy's titties while she plays with your big boy cock!" and "Don't worry Mommy if I get you pregnant I will raise our incest baby like he is my brother."
4.Told a few people that during the day while his parents and his brother were working he was in charge of babysitting his 4 year old nephew. This nephew has various issues. And Volt would spend most of the day in his room looking at porn on his computer.
5.Before he worked at Blockbuster he worked at A&P Groceries. As a bag boy. Got fired cause some girl he liked in high school came in. And Volt caught a glimpse of her thong. So he said he had to use the bathroom. Was gone for 30 minutes and the manager went and found Volt hiding behind stock in the stockroom jacking off.
6.Claimed that seeing blood,real or fake,and gore,real or fake,made him throw up. But supposedly would goto CZW deathmatch shows. When asked about this Volt replied with "During the bloody parts I go stand out in the hallway.
7.Claimed that the Blockbuster he worked at put him in charge of ordering porn for the Blockbuster porn room. So he got his mom to subscribe to Adult Video News for him.
8.Then would talk about how his mother wouldn't allow porn in the house. So he had to hide his "binders of over 3000 porn DVDs."
9.If he was awake and on this one forum,which he was there 16 to 18 hours a day,he had an obsession about having the newest post in every folder.
10.Someone told him about myfreecams,a camwhore site. Volt doesn't have a credit card so could only create a free account. And he was dumb enough to post his posting handle at MFC on a few wrestling forums. It was WWETNAFan.
11.Someone at one forum had a wife that worked on Myfreecams. Seems Volt stole someone's credit card and maxed it out in under 2 hours paying for private time with a cam model. She was at least 400lbs and appeared to have a mustache and beard.
12.Same person mentioned above leaked some of Volt's private messages with this model.Highlights are "Ok so if I give you 900 you will pretend to be my mom?" and "Sure I will do that. The other model wanted to charge me 300 to watch me shit in a diaper."
13.Was at various times pretty racist. Making comments like "Why don't the dumb darkies move out of South Africa. It is obvious they aren't wanted down there!"
14.After getting banned one time from a forum he came back and talked about how he go so mad he threw his favorite Spongebob Lamp across his room and broke it.

There use to be a blog all about various LOLcows in the IWC. It had a multipart series on Volt. Including piles of pictures and chatlogs. Right at 4 years ago the blog deleted almost everything. I was told the owner of the blog had issues with one of the people that helped them run it. Seems the person helping got Volt's address and phone number. So made a fake Craigslist ad for Volt. Claiming Volt was looking for "A big man to break into my house and rape me." Anyone that replied to the ad was given Volt's address and phone number.

Found a few pictures.
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The cake mentioned in a previous post.
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Kevin Volture as Santa. He was quickly dubbed Midnight Rape Santa on every forum he posted this picture.
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For some reason Volture dubbed himself The Ryback of Porn.
 
Nice personal cow; I don't know if we have an IWC thread in Community Watch, but I have this vibe you'd get more people like Volture and Tonkasaw in it (a similar braggart about matches, internet tough guy with thin skin, though he might have done backyard tier stuff). Might have some primo gold there.
 
There is a IWC forum full of LOLcows.
You had Volture. A guy,who is now a mod there, that is a Brony and admitted pedo. Another mod that would challenge people to fights and who brags about beatting up gays while in school. And the current admin. Who is 400lbs trans and keeps banning posters and not banning trolls.

Trying to see if anyone has more pics and catalogs of Volt. Sucks that in the last 2 years Volt has diasappeared. His Twitter has been on private for years now,he doesn't seem to use Facebook anymore. And his YouTube is now nothing but short vids of his nephew.
 
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I've heard the name of Kevin Volture before, but I had no idea he was this much of a dipshit.
 
One of my personal lolcows is one I used to be friends with in high school, I'll call her K. My earliest memory with her was in middle school being pissed as fuck over her copying my work in a class we shared, so I'm not even sure how we became friends. K is a major weeaboo (but really, who am I to talk?) and is obviously obsessed with anime, she has been since I met her. For years she had an account on iFunny and was kind of popular in the anime community. She had a good amount of friends from it and had a few boyfriends too. Of course, no relationship that started on iFunny can be expected to go well, as one boyfriend she'd constantly complain about ended up threatening to/actually leaking her nudes somewhere. She'd also almost take on the identity of different anime characters from whatever her current anime obsession was, in all honesty I'm surprised she never turned out to be a kinnie. What she was though was a transtrender. I came in at lunch one day to find K crying, and obviously concerned I asked what was wrong. I guess she had decided she's FTM trans and after announcing so on iFunny, got people saying they didn't believe her, causing her to have a meltdown. I called her by her new name & referred to her with he/him for the rest of the day. I say rest of the day because that's how long she lasted: a day, not even 24 hours. The next day it was like the whole thing never happened, and I 100% believe she only said she was trans because 2 people in our friend group are trans and she wanted the attention.

The trans thing was my personal favorite thing she's done but she's done a lot more than that. On and off she'd claim herself to be an ~artiste~ and would Google search whatever anime character she wanted to draw and then copy some random piece of art she liked, for a bit she copied one of my good friend's art too, specifically a piece that was a gift to K from them. Another time she started beef with me over not watching an anime vine she wanted to show me, saying I was ignoring her. It culminated with her vague posting about me on iFunny and the app Vent + me calling her out about it. She's also very obsessed with having a boyfriend, too much romance anime perhaps? Right before our senior year ended she would lament about not having a boyfriend, and then later started dating a sophomore. Fantastic idea, especially considering you're leaving for college in a few fucking months. There was another time when she asked me personal questions about my mental illnesses (anxiety & OCD) you maybe shouldn't ask, my favorite being asking me how I got my medications. Now she's one of those "uwu drink water and stay positive!!" people I'm pretty sure. Oh, she was also president of my school's anime club, because of course she was.
 
having read the ED article on TITS, it suddenly dawned on me that I am only one degree of real-life separation from this person

even before I knew who he was, I thought came across as haughty, rather obnoxious and probably a hypocrite

but now I know what skeletons he has in his closet....
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I had a bit too much time on my hands yesterday after playing vidya for 6hrs straight. I check my facebook feed, and what do I see? Personal lolcow on facebook asking facebook friends to buy him pizza... I mean, you're struggling, so of course, ask someone to order you dominos instead of possibly buying something that wouldn't cost as much? Lidl is a thing in the UK and it's quite popular with people on a budget...
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So, for all you guys who enjoy personal lolcows, I thought I'd go through and screenshot the cringiest content, and make a little masterpost.

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Honestly, it's so cringey it's perfect.

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at least someone finally pointed it out?

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If you're 20... Your partner is 16 just left school, and she's offering to (help) pay for your tattoo... How much of a dead end in life do you have to be at?

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Any google search would prove this guy (hilariously) wrong... Especially since last time I checked, and was told this in sex ed when i was in secondary (as well as being told this by my parents and read about it in the very educational book they got me when they gave me "the talk"), Sperm are the very thing that determines a baby's sex (/gender, seeing that as shown from multiple surveys from 2016, 99.4% of the time, people's gender lines up with their birth sex)- the egg always carries an X chromosome. However, the sperm could carry either an X or a Y, which determines sex. If it carries an X chromosome, the baby will be a girl. If it carries a Y chromosome, then it will be a boy.

Seeing as a whopping 0.6% of the populace is transgender, yes, sperm does have gender, sort of. It determines the sex/gender of a person before they've even been born, by carrying a sex defining chromosome (so technically having a gender)- it carries the sex characteristics and traits of what would be either a male or female person. And as people's sex and gender align almost all the time, then that means that it would have gender.

If sperm didn't have gender, biological sex wouldn't exist- also I'm very doubtful that chromosomes have any correlation with trans people's brain sex other than the mismatch between said brain and chromosome determination of biological sex. - if I'm wrong about that, let me know.
 
Hugo and Jake. The two that run the Bible Reloaded channel. Now they're not outright lolcows, or lolcalfs for that matter, but ever since the election they seen to be slowly, ever so slowly, loosing it. Both are big Hillary supporters and both seem to have a huge hate-boner for Jordan Peterson and Trump.

I think it'll be a while before anything really happens with them and they chimp, but I think they might be worth keeping an eye on.
 
There's this person I went to school with. They graduated this past year, so I can't really watch them anymore, but they do have a dA. They're this weird furry/transformer hybrid artist that has never heard of color theory or even attempted to make her art not an eyesore. It's just like a neon laser show. You get motion sickness from a still image if you look at it for too long.
She puts these huge ass watermarks across her art even though no would even want to steal it. (Why is it terrible artists that do that?) Anyway, one day she caught me criticizing her painting for being a murky rainbow, and was very irritated with me. What's even sadder is that she has a hand for realism, but she wastes it on transformer ocs. She did a four page comic for one of her ocs but it was horribly written and constructed. She even has fanart for her ocs for some reason.
She also had a thing for Foxy from FNAF, and even showed up to school once in a terribly constructed cosplay of the character.
Also she identifies as female but lists herself as male on her dA, but in her bio she says she's a gay lesbian. I'm starting to think she might be color blind and autistic.
 
Zachariah Sitchin disciple-crazies, Paul R. Ehrlich, Freelee the Banana Girl and all of the weirdos who yammer on while binge eating on youtube (mukbang).
 
From the man himself!

Well Ill tell you one of my favorite Hobbies is hunting spooky old Tombs, Ruins!! I LOVE The smell of ten thousand year old rotten bodies and bones and the spooky digs!!!

I have more than realized that Mars is a world, with a atmosphere very similar to Earth and it is littered with ruins!!! If there was ever any project sending people to live on Mars I would give up everything I have or think I have in life and I would leave everyone I know in a heartbeat to go to Mars and search through Ruins all day, every day!!!

--

I am an Artist, I Deign and create Extreme Guitars, I write And perform Music, I specialize in Film and Audio production, Entertainment and Helping other Creators succeed by any means rather they can afford to Help support my channel or not. If you need a Logo, Intro, A theme song for your channel. Hit me Up. I dont work for free but we can always work something out for example I write you a theme song for your channel, We contract That I get a mall % of Royalties from the money you make off the videos, Or perhaps on your more popular videos you plug my channel supporting my channel telling people where you got your Animated Logo or theme song..

I love Colabs, with anyone who is interesting in the same topics so in any event. I am here to create and promote my Music, Surfing, Show My subscribers around my Islands, Hawaii and where I Surf, fish etc, I also travel a lot and make videos on first time travelers to help them with thing that you either learn the hard way. Anyway ALOHA!
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These are the self-descriptions of Jin Ion, a conspiracy theorist (and according to himself CEO of "Cymatics Visual Audio Laboratories" Video Audio Studios at Jin I.O.N. - Band - "Industry Of Nihil") who I found in the comment section of a Chris-Chan youtube video. For a while he was obsessed with the Maya, believing they knew something about time travel. Check out his videos because I'm not summarizing them.

He is also into music, which he occasionally uploads about. At one point he discussed designing his own Satanic guitar, the Dark Stylus. This is presumably where the "cymatics" section of his job description comes in.


"Cymatics is the science of sound made visible.

"It is based on the principle that when sound encounters a membrane such as your skin or the surface of water, it imprints an invisible pattern of energy. In other words, the periodic vibrations in the sound sample are converted and become periodic water ripples, creating beautiful geometric patterns that reveal the once hidden realm of sound. If we could see the sounds around us with our eyes we would see myriads of holographic bubbles, each with a kaleidoscopic-like pattern on its surface. The CymaScope, in a sense, allows us to image a circular section through a holographic sound bubble. Developed by John Stuart Reid in the UK, the CymaScope reveals the once hidden realm of sound. The CymaScope, like the invention of the microscope and telescope, opens a realm not previously suspected to exist; a whole new world of visible sound."

according to this website

But he mostly floats around in the "grey aliens are real, strange historic events are time paradoxes, etc." kind of nutjob. Most recent video that I haven't watched yet but the description alone is great:

Description to video:
Please see the Video through to the end for the final conclusion Bomb Shell Final Solid Proof not just any Pyramids but Pyramids connected to the earthly Pyramids.. Implication that we once thrived on Mars, Had a war that knocked us back to Pyramid Age for those who escaped the fall of Mars and migrated to Earth!! Not Asking you to Believe me, But By the end of this video you will KNOW!!! Very Few will try to debate once they see the final conclusion..
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My biggest complaint about this guy is that the videos he released are LONG AF, but he's pretty harmless as far as I can tell. I don't really dig into him religiously so much as I'm always a little happy when he uploads.

While he doesn't seem to provide a lot of lolcow entertainment in and of himself, on his discussion page he says this:

contact me any time if you ever want to come on my show and talk about it. lets do a video together.. Ill colab with anyone who i respectful, has a message or just wants to have a fun chat about cool stuff..
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No idea what "show" he's talking about.

Google+ account for good measure.
Cymatics Visual Audio Laboratories channel
 
Last time on My Personal Lolcows... She was going full on Not My President FreeWoman On The Land alongside her new boyfriend, He was got fired from his mall security job and is struggling to pay for his pet's lifestyle changes, and poor little Daughter was caught between it all, doing her best to keep her head above water.

One of the best ways to make extra money when you experience a sudden drop in income is to rent out a spare room. If you can find a nice low drama college student who just wants a place quiet to study, you can score an extra $400-500 a month in this area for little to no effort. And, considering your soon to be ex-husband is not keeping up on his child support payments because he's unemployed, this is one way to make ends meet.

What you don't do, however, is rent to friends. This never ends well. Friends are friends for a reason; they go home at the end of the night. You don't have to see them doing all the non-fun aspects of life. The people who you can stand to be around for that sort of thing are the ones who become wives and husbands.

So, predictably, rather than find herself a nice clean, quiet, and conscientious female Japanese exchange student (the absolute prize of renters, because they cook, clean, help around the house, and generally contribute more than they take because of how they were raised), she "rents" to her couch surfing friend who will be getting money from her mother "real soon". The room itself is unfinished, and she also promises to help fix and otherwise finish it up.

I'm sure you can guess what happens. They want to give her her privacy, so no one but the renter goes into the room for months. She's loud, she's abusive, she's just... not as fun as she is to hang out with. Who'd have thought?

Within four months, the place is a pigsty, with mold growing on the walls, the drywall still stacked in the corner with clothes piled on it, one of the windows is broken, the drywall mud has been opened but not resealed properly so the whole thing has solidified into a useless brick, there's plates of uneaten food with half finished cosplay clothes stuck to them... And the smell alone would kill a person who wasn't expecting the worst. The room will need a new floor, at minimum, and getting rid of the mold will cost at least $1000, so her staying there has been a net negative.

So much for renting out a room, right?

And this leads into the next fun part of the story.

One month, predictably, the room renter was short on cash, and offered to pay with a her annual meat share. A whole cow of meat is about $400, isn't it? So, She accepts, and they now have a full stocked meat freezer in addition to their regular one. It's good to have steak at the ready. This seems like a very good deal.

Three weeks ago, She was vacuuming, and tripped the breaker for the outlet. Shouldn't be any big deal -- just go to the breaker box and flip the switch back on, and then maybe be more careful about what else you're running on that circuit. Problem is, the breaker box is in Daughter's room, now that Daughter has taken over the basement, and She respects her daughter's privacy. Not wanting to violate that scared trust, She decides to quit vacuuming and tells her ex-husband to flip the breaker when he's over that afternoon picking his daughter up for the weekend.

Why, exactly, I cannot fathom.

It turns out that the circuit that the vacuum was on was the same one that the meat freezer was on. Why she doesn't have that appliance on a separate circuit, I do not know. She is not good at owning a house.

The freezer hasn't been cooling a cow's worth of meat for three weeks. A closed freezer only traps the cold for so long.

She blames her Ex for not flipping the breaker, even though he has the mind of a fish, and has never been reliable when it comes to remembering anything.

Now two rooms in the house are currently uninhabitable.
 
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