Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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When I was in my teens, I formed a fast friendship with this girl who turned out to be so obsessed with her ships and making sure they were Always Together that she rejected canon, took the existence of the rival ships as a personal insult, and basically forbade anyone from ever disagreeing with her about her ships. Or her favorite characters. Or her headcanons. She'd get super emo if anything invaded her little OTP bubble where everything was perfect and nothing ever went wrong for her Possession Sue version of her favorite character. Like, her whole fucking day would be Ruined over that shit.

I contacted her years after we lost touch, and was disappointed to realize she hadn't changed much.
 
I finally balls-upped and made an account since I just lurk but god.
For about two years or so an ex-friend and I caught our eyes on a "Camera Model" who'd go on and show her tits and whatnot to fund her "nerdy endeavors" Like I'm talking about fucking custom made cosplay props she got free because she was leeching off a poor sap who just wanted love. It was some weird shit watching her get new "pets" before she'd get rid of those after a month.
We're talking about one month she has a guinea pig and suddenly it vanishes. Not even a week later she has a rabbit that she got for "free."
Also as a tattoo-junkie I would legit keep track on the shit she would get because it was entertaining to watch her brag on how she sucked a married dude's cock for a shitty scratcher tat that was done in his living room. (shitty piercings too which looked infected the last time I checked also.)
She was pure garbage but not to even top it was because of the fact that she would go out of her way to be "dommy" when her way of getting money was pretending to be daddy's little cock-slut and whatnot.
But past her, I also on the down-low keep track of a woman who's 10 years older than I am who was lusting over my friend's cock- she's more of a pitycow but god I'm glad I'll never be like her at that point. (If she were an attention whore I would love to see other's reactions but some gems aren't just meant to be uncovered though.)
 
My loveshy Facebook friend Daniel and his nutjob girlfriend are engaged after only like three months of dating. Here's a sample of the kind of shit they're constantly posting for everyone to see:
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Epilogue: they broke up less than a month after this post was made. He already claims to be in another relationship although his Facebook doesn’t specify with whom, so he very well could be making shit up.
 
I had this guy on discord who got banned for spam and posting vore.
The guy suddenly DMed me (At that point i had no contact with him whatsoever) telling me im his friend and he really wants to go back in.
After talking to some mods on the discord about the situation they wont ever let him in.
After i told him that he made his own discord which was named: "(Our discord name) but with (His name)"
He invited everyone he could find who was still in the discord he was banned off and recreated all channels from the discord also, asking me for screenshots of the rule list of the server and the roles.
He gave everyone mod on the server he made which was a very big fucking mistake.
Everyone spammed porn and made shitty channels.
Said he didn't understand what the hell was going on because he was from Polen.
After a while the owner of the server joined and told them he wont ever join the discord again.
The dude deleted the discord afterwards.
After that he begged me for a month to get in again (Forgot to mention im no mod) and tried to call me a couple times via discord, told him to fuck off and never had any direct contact with him anymore, he only like some of my tweets and stalk some of my artist friends by commenting stupid shit like: "UNBAN ME" Or "Needs more of me"
He made this art piece for me after a couple months after we last had contact based on my pfp at that time.
Never responded to it afraid of wasting my time explaining to him why he never will be unbanned.
 

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My personal lolcow is a gold mine, everyday is something different about him. I hesitate to write down about him but I think I'm ready now.

He's a reverse troon (trans man), SJW, on twitter who doesn't work, he spends most of his time playing video games and complaining on twitter, he complains about everything and especially WASP (while he secretly wants to be a white, straight cis guy and admit it several times) and likes to provoke these people only to shout at them, he always ends up getting angry, insulting and blocking and after complaining that he's being harassed (lol). Once he was so fed up that he promised to stop doing that, but since his life is empty and he lives in a rotten place, he gets pissed off and started again the very week he was supposed to "stop".

I've known him for quite a long time on different sites, even before he moved to Twitter, he hasn't changed a bit except his age (28 years old now iirc). I have so many facts about him.
Like all the troons, he made a funding pot to make money for his transition, he asked about €10,000 to pay for his hormones, his surgeries and "help him out of poverty", he had raised only €450 in several months, some people saying that "€10 000 is exaggerated", obviously he got angry against them and blocked them.

He hates himself so much that he's self-aware, he's a total trainwreck. He is ugly, big, probably smelly and because of HRT he's hairy EVERYWHERE, he has rotten teeth because he stopped cleaning them because of depression and dysphoria, ofc he's too poor to pay for new cleans teeth, but he had a denture he lost a few months later. He lives with his mother and a dog, he never knew his father and half of his family hate him (his aunt called him a "lazy fat"). (:_(

He tried to work but failed because he's disable (he suffer from dyslexia and BPD), he even tried to make money on youtube via video games and it was really embarassing; he made 3D intro with dubstep on his videos !!! :( His videos was shitty and the video games was old-dated, he deleted this channel few months later.

Finally, he's so lonely that he thinks about his violent ex-boyfriend, he tried to find love through internet but no man wanted to fuck a mangina with bigs boobs and hair all over his body.
 
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Matthew Pelletier is a creature that is constantly disintegrating, and the only thing holding him together is a constant feed of admiration, apparently from children, or failing that, his own lies about what he is or what he is doing.

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Just your every day, law-abiding citizen fighting off that pesky government

He goes on twitter- or livestream-rants where he talks about how normal, civil, and good he is, often while demonstrating the opposite in behaviour. "You're triggering my depression" is the most common thing you'll hear from him if he thinks you're a friend, and then don't pay enough attention to him. In my short time knowing this guy, he's shown himself to be a pedophile, a manipulator, and seems to seek out the kind of people that'll look up to him, or that that he can look good by comparison.

Back when I met him, he seemed like a normal person, other than that his jokes erred towards aren't-I-a-horrible-person-humour a little too often to be jokes. He started to out himself when he started flexing about how much money he has, how popular he is with women, or how fast his livestream channels are growing. At one point he felt a need to volunteer that he was dating one girl and how there's also a stripper with a crush on him, but how he has no interest in sex and tries to make it very clear to us that he is a Very Devoted, Very Committed, Very Good Nice Young Man (TM). A "straight-edge", as he calls himself.

I thought that was kinda weird about making it that clear that you're the straightest edge that ever edged, but hey, there's always weird things about meeting a new friend, so I didn't think much of it. A couple weeks after, he tells us he broke up with the one girl, so I guess that he's gonna date the stripper on the rebound.

About a week after that, he tells us he's dating someone (hereafter referred to as "Child"), and that Child is "only a couple of weeks from 18". Pelletier was like 22 at the time BTW. So ... huh. Almost a year later though, that Child is in the discord and says that they're having their 17th birthday.

So that's when all Matt's quirks started to seem a lot less benign. He attention-begs Child when Child is at school, or has homework, or wants to hang out with local children, or generally when Child wants to be a child. All Pelletier talks about to the rest of the server is how he needs to talk to Child, or how Child is triggering his depression, and the server try to suppress the obvious drama he's trying to start, but no, this is the end of the world for old Matty Metalkick, and he's getting into twitter fights and getting what he calls "Super-Depressed" because the other guy on twitter said "kys" to him, and he'll say that the only thing that can cure it is Child logging onto discord to chat him up.

He suffers from a recurring eye-stye, and gets even more emotionally unstable while it flares up. He will not seek medical attention despite bragging about having the money to do so. Instead, he'll spend on video games and streaming while taking out his frustrations on whoever's in voice chat.

I let my activity drop off on that server, and start collecting evidence of him being a pedophile.

He didn't make it difficult, either. He starts getting overtly sexual in the public chat channels with Child. I don't like seeing a grown ass adult try to cyber with a kid. He was in voice and Child was in text, and I was still in denial about the whole thing, so I was pretty sure he was trying to joke around with Child; maybe this was the kind of joke that Child found funny,

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but sometimes things like this happen: ("Sex on the floor")
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(Not even gonna embed this one. "dripping" ): https://my.mixtape.moe/svvnbk.png

I ask some mutuals about age of consent laws and if there's any way that I'm in the wrong here, but no useful information comes up. Matt Pelletier and Child eventually get into this off-again, on-again thing, and I try to stay as distant from it as possible. Then suddenly this disgusting pedophile PMs everyone and starts talking all kinds of shit about Child. Child, having been made an admin at some point, retaliates by banning people from the discord.

A short time later, this image was going around showing him keeping another discord's admin on a leash.

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A while later, messages like these show up on other discords,
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The latest out of his account is how the government is supposedly "fraudulently" going after him for money: https://archive.is/MI0bT

as of this post, it looks like his family will be going to court (again) for some (supposedly) fraudulent government accusations against them. Considering one of the things he likes to flaunt is how rich he is, or how good he is with money, I don't believe that these accusations are as fraudulent as they seem, but that's just personal opinion.

Overall, aside from the pedophilia, there's definitely some Chris-Chan overtones of crime and health-problems, and ashamed-to-be-horny-but-horny-anyway, and ChannelAwesome levels of abusive, and a pinch of literally every wannabe edgey youtuber, out of Matthew Pelletier's behaviour.

The only other thing I know about him is that he lives in Quebec.
 
There's one guy I might consider one who is who I'll call, "Mr. Darwin Award". He believes that he doesn't have to use turn signals since you deserve to drive if you aren't paying attention to how his car is positioned and you should know when he's merging and passing (moving trailers is the exception), plans to own a timber wolf and it will be fine if he has a big enough yard, and refuses to wear a seat belt since he thinks that the windshield will catch him and he worries about the seatbelt pinning him in if the car turns over. When we talked about him with my family, my 12-year-old niece said, "I want to smack him."
 
My personal lolcow is a guy I've known for well over a decade. When we first met, he was bi, then he gay. Now, he's trooned out.
Back in the day, everyone knew who he was, and although there was something kinda weird about him, he was fairly well-received. He had a pretty healthy social circle, and even people who weren't in it knew who he was and held no strong feelings one way or the other about him. He started dating a friend of mine, and they end up breaking up a few months later. I eventually found out that what happened is that lolcow was just shit at being in a relationship. He'd apparently half-ass everything, including being a very lazy lover. Apparently that's just how he was in life in general; he'd just half-ass everything and just sorta coast along while putting in minimal effort. I didn't know this since I wasn't in his friends group, so half-assed small talk was never a big deal.
A few years ago, he came on on fb as being trans. We were all very supportive of him, because he seemed like he was serious and excitedly talked about wanting to start HRT and buy more feminine clothing. His wife was also very supportive of him, but I only tentatively say "wife", because I don't know if they're legally married or not. Some girls came out of the woodwork and taught him how to pose more femininely in photos, how to do makeup, and how to behave a bit more femininely. He changed his gender on fb to "trans woman".
As the months progressed, he stopped talking about HRT and wanting to transition. He continued to take the same selfie in the exact same pose, and he never really worked on his makeup skills or doing anything to his appearance to make him pass a bit better. He still bought feminine clothes, especially frilly things, and he got his Walmart name tag changed to his chosen name. He changed his gender to "demi woman", and he went from being married to being in an open relationship. He also started to claim asexuality.
His wife eventually moved to Portland, leaving him behind even though they're still together. I believe this is when it became an open relationship, and I'm honestly not surprised. He's taken up the mantle back here with social activism, antifa, abolishICE, pro-communism, etc. stuff. He's made a few fb pages for shitty "memes" relating to the aforementioned things, and it's really cringey. Also, he's got a craaaaazy hog body with a beer gut, but he likes to wear frilly bikinis with little frilly skirts. It looks bad.
I've noticed that since he started trooning out, he's gotten angrier and more depressed. It doesn't seem like he's all that happy with how he currently is, which makes sense since trooning out doesn't exactly sound like a healthy lifestyle. He posts a lot of suicide-baity and manipulative statuses in order to get a bunch of like-minded individuals to pat his butt just so. I'm sure he has a twitter, but I don't know what it is.

He's definitely fallen a long way from when we first met. It's just a shame that the first thing he's ever gone fully into in his life is trooning out.
 
I wrote about a personal lolcow of mine a while ago in greentext form.


>be me

>frequently use discord

>a friend private messages me

>"hey do you know who jeremy is"

>I say no

>friend tells me about him

>obsessed with the pokemon brionne

>overbearing christian mother

>extremely autistic

>actual diabetes

>fart fetish

>deviantart account where he draws fart fetish art

>extremely tiny penis

>holyshit.jpg

>friend gives me his account

>we invite him to our server

>make a special purgatory for him

>we call it "brionne"

>jeremy still says dumb shit

>"who else here blowdries their balls"

>"isn't counter terrorism reverse terrorism"

>"i couldn't imagine having a penis more than three inches"

>"i actually thought my dad was black until im like 5"

>"id wipe cum on my mom but not on my brioonne plush DONT LAUGH DONT SCREENSHOT IM JUST SAYING DONT USE THIS AGASNT ME"

>"i should make a popplio house so he could vore me"

>we all laugh at him for being a fool

>only thing he really knows about are pokemon and kirby games

>one day he tells us a story

>he says that after fighting some zelda boss it made him and his brother extremely germaphobic

>this was several years ago

>he still tries as hard as he can to not touch his food

>cuts sandwiches and hot dogs into pieces and then eats them with a fork

>later we find out his mom has a christian chat server on paltalk called lamb of god

>jeremy is questioned

>he gets pissy

>several weeks later

>the brionne purgatory has been renamed to bronnie because our autistic friend ronnie is locked there too

>turns out jeremy gave out some info about himself a while ago to one of the people on the server

>the info is given out

>his mother's name is sonya

>he lives in vassar, michigan

>quick google search of sonya gives an address

>it's time for a pizza party

>jeremy learns of this despite him not being able to see the channel we discussed this on

>he tells me he's afraid of pizza

>people can be this autistic

>call the nearest papa johns

>says they don't deliver there

>calls the nearest dominos

>they don't either

>ronnie calls a jimmy johns and manages to fuck it up

>decide to do some research

>vassar has only two thousand people

>his house, while not bad, is in the fucking woods

>probably hunts for food

>quickly edit the vassar wikipedia page

>change the nicknames to "hell" and "jeremyland"

>make fun of ronnie for being autistic on it

>jeremy leaves shortly thereafter

>haven't seen him since


I feel almost bad for forgetting one of the better details. Before Brionne, it was Chuchu from the Kirby series, and an experience he had in Tomodachi Life involving Chuchu. I think Jeremy explains it best.


"obviously you guys know that I'm absolutely in love with chuchu, it was literally love at first sight

but there is a chapter of my life that I just remembered the other day that I wish that I didn't remember

"I think I've shared this story before but I'm going to post it again because it's been a while. in 2014 (to put in perspective this all happened less than 2 years ago) I decided to make a mii version of Chuchu for my Miiverse account, and for some reason I literally fell in love with the mii incarnation of her
Tomodachi life came out a couple of months later and Chuchu was one of the first characters I put in the game
The game caused me to fall in love more with her, I pampered her much more than the other characters, I gave her the most clothes, I spent the most money on her, it was honestly quite pathetic, I would intentionally put her in clothes that I found hot
If you followed me on Miiverse around that time you'd see me posting pictures and posts on how I thought she was "adorable" "the most adorable thing in the world" and how much I "loved her voice" it was so pathetic I swear. "I found hot”
If you followed me on Miiverse around that time you'd see me posting pictures and posts on how I thought she was "adorable" "the most adorable thing in the world" and how much I "loved her voice" it was so pathetic I swear
But that was the least pathetic part of it
When I first got the game the game told me that Chuchu wanted to be in a relationship with my Mii character in the game
My brother was watching and I didn't want to look awkward so I chose "no"

Little did I know that my choice eventually caused me to go insane
Later on I made Chuchu marry Kirby and have kids with him, and at first I didn't really care but eventually I thought "no I need Chuchu to marry ME"
I thought of all the funny lol xd Miiverse posts I could make with that and the personal satisfaction of being married to Chuchu
But because of that one stupid mistake I did I legitimately became depressed
I felt dreadful, I felt regret, or wanted to go back in time and change it, but I couldn't
The deed was done
I was so upset that I literally cried myself to sleep
No not fake tears, none of that, it's not like when you say "lol" online and you're not actually laughing
I WAS LITERALLY CRYING
MY PILLOW WAS COVERED IN TEARS


and this is coming from someone that never cries I legitimately never cry and that was like one of the very few times I've cried in like decades

To put in perspective one of my dogs died a couple of weeks ago and I didn't bat an eye yet when I cause a fictional character to friend zone a fictional version of me that's when I start crying
It didn't end at the tears, after weeks of crying in my bed I LEGITIMATELY CONSIDERED SUICIDE
I WAS THIS CLOSE TO KILLING MYSELF OVER A CARTOON
I thought i wasn't going to make it I thought that was it it was over
Then I decided what I had to do
I had to kill Kirby in the game
I turned on my game, reluctantly deleted Kirby, and changed Chuchus personality so she would be more attracted to me, I actually have an image in my 3DS notes of her old personality so I could change it back when I married chuchu
and eventually in the game Chuchu did marry me but I didn't think we had children, and last time I checked my brother deleted my safe file so it's now gone


but my lust for the mini caricature of Chuchu didn't stop there
this was a little after when I found out what my fetish was but I didn't know about erections or how sex worked
I knew what my fetish was, that's why I put my Chuchu mini caricature in the costumes
I thought I had to draw fetish art of her in colors 3d
And that's what I did, I drew dozens of really really poorly drawn fetish art of her in colors 3d
I was essentially drawing Kirby mii porn (but it wasn't porn I didn't find it hot)
I deleted all of it but I do recall drawing her in a sexy Santa outfit around Christmas so there's that
One night around this time, I was in my bed and I decided to think of "Chuchu" in this one situation that I found so hot
And that's when I orgasmed for the first time
it's now 2016 and I still fap to her I love her so much if you guys ever found out what I did to her then you'd probably think I'm more insane than I already am
Currently I can't get a screenshot of her from my old Miiverse but to put in perspective here's a decentish(ISH) drawing of her I made last year
Posted Image
the mii version has a beard
TLDR: my ugly Chuchu mini with a beard caused me to cry, consider suicide because she married Kirby, and caused me to orgasm for the first time, thus discovering my true sexual passion"



But that was a few months ago, this is now. Now, Jeremy got himself an e-girlfriend by the name of Penny. All friends in my circle know that e-dating is really bad. Not only that, but Jeremy said that he was in a different server with Penny's boyfriend. Jeremy is an e-cuck. Everything being posted are images and audio files of Jeremy.

WARNING: All images are NSFW
 

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My personal lolcow is a dude who I've known for a little while. I don't consider him a friend even. He's a big supporter of Trump and also just happens to be an incel at this point. I say this because this guy constantly rants about how spoiled the women on Tinder are and how they expect men to pay for them or something. He only hangs out with guys and has no women friends. He doesn't even try to date women but rants about how women don't want a nice guy like him. If he didn't rant about girls all the time and actually had game, he wouldn't be so angry that he can't get sex from any girl.
Not only that, he also brings up politics EVERY time I've had to be around him. He'll talk about politics for hours. It's boring. All he does is rant about girls and politics. Hell, when he picked up family members of mine when they came to visit, he fucking asked them what their political choices and views were. On the first day he met them. They didn't want to hang out with him again after.
 
My FTM personal cow is upset. The son she influenced not-so-subtly to be trans and that she and her husband otherwise basically ignored for years in favor of their own personal voyages of self-discovery (complete with an "unschooling" phase where he didn't learn anything, and a "dress him in dresses at his rough public school until he gets bullied and then tell him it's brave to keep wearing them" phase) is now a fucking mess.

They've got him diagnosed with autism and anxiety, which TBH is probably just his natural reaction to being around parents with shifting identities that matter more than he does, plus being understimulated as a kid because his fake trans mom was too busy "not having the spoons" to get out of bed and introduce him to the basic tenets of social interaction. My personal cow still complains every time she has to do something for the kid, as if motherhood (excuse me, totally non-gendered birthing parenthood) is a shitty imposition on her busy schedule of tweeting and complaining about injustice to dangerhairs.

The kid is now sobbing at night, telling his parents that he wishes he wasn't trans, wasn't autistic, and that his (heterosexual male and female) parents weren't "gay" (due to my cow's trooning-out). He desperately wants to just be normal.

But of course, my cow broadcasts all of this on Twitter, interprets his sobs not as "please teach me the rules of normal human behavior so I can blend in a little more, I'm a 9 year old little boy who needs parental guidance to not feel left out," but as "my poor trans, autistic child is railing against the unfairness of the universe."

And she then wonders why this is so distressing for her kid, since it's not like she's beating him or getting drunk in front of him or molesting him, all of which happened during her childhood. She thinks she's made it so her kid's on easy street, with nothing to do but contemplate his unique gender identity. Instead, he's going to turn out so confused and anxious that he'll be lucky to live independently as an adult by the time my cow and her husband are through with him.
 
So my lolcow @jbsmommy2013 has since gone absolutely more batshit. Wears a beanie she never takes off, posts videos of herself in a nightie and clown makeup going on about sex...have you ever seen a lolcow and wondered whether it's time to ask friends and family if they are ok?
 
So one of the guys behind a podcast I follow got yelled at by some English guy with :autism: about getting a early release of V5 to review. The guy had to explain how companies release products early so people can review them.
 
Got a great LOLcow.

Known this guy for right at 30 years. Back when I first got to know him he was stoned 24/7. And pretty chill. Then about a decade ago he got diagnosed as Schizo. Was told to stop smoking pot.

In the past 10 years he has moved 8 times. Always cause he roommates get tired of him doing nothing. The last time he was rooming with a long time friend of mine. All she asked him to do was make sure whatever dishes he used during the day were washed when she came home that evening. And he couldn't even do that.

The entire time Obama was the president this guy ranted about him and believed any truth or lie he heard about him. As soon as Trump got elected this guy started talking about how great Obama was. If you point this out to him,he will accuse you of trolling him. Then go delete the tweets you mentioned.

He spends all his time on twitter bitching. Bitching about how SYFY channel cancels all the shitty shows he watches on there. Then he gets pissed if people point out that he torrents all the shows he watches. And that he could just as easy pay the 10 bucks for Hulu/Netflix and actually support the shows he claims to love so much.

He is a huge wrestling fan. And has been banned from pretty much every big wrestling forum. All because if anyone posts something he doesn't agree with he will report that person for trolling him.

He also hates modern WWE. But still watches it every week. He tried to get into the deep south indie wrestling scene. But he got creepy with a few of the lady wrestlers online. And is now banned from going to shows in 4 states.

He is also a huge comic fan. But instead of buying his comics he downloads illegal scans. Then tries his best to buddy up with his favorite comic creators on twitter. And flips out if the creators don't reply to him. One troll posted messages with this guy talking about how he downloads all his comics. Which caused a bunch of creators to block him. But again this guy won't take the blame. Instead it is those evil trolls trying to ruin his fun.

It has gotten where there is a bunch of people trolling him on twitter. But in his braindead head all these trolls are me. I confronted him about this 2 years ago. And he legit seems to believe I am the only person on the planet that is tired of his shit. So in his fucked up mind any trolls have to be me.

Saved the best for last. Years back on twitter he met this woman,that looks like Olive Oyl if she was on meth. Now this woman doesn't work and is raising 2 or 3 kids. They were "dating"for a few years. She finally got tired of his shit and broke up with him sometime this year. So to get back at her ,he started sending nude pics of her to everyone on his followers list. Now most of these people didn't ask to see nudes of a meth addict. So reported him to twitter. He got a 2 week ban. Came back in 2 weeks and ranted about how he did nothing wrong and it was once again ALL DEM EVIL TROLLS TRYING TO RUIN MY FUN.
 
I just was remembering this gay guy I was friends with when I was 15, let's call him 'Alex'. Alex was 19, lonely and desperate for friends or just peers who would accept him, and I would end up at his apartment sometimes because I could smoke cigarettes and do drugs over there. His apartment was basically a cheep student starter-kit slum complex, where you just went to the office and they would place you in one of the minimally furnished two-bedroom apartments in the complex and assign a roommate to you. There were 4 months in the summer that he ended up not having a roommate assigned so he had a two bedroom apartment to himself and didn't have to pay extra so we had parties over there.

In August Alex finally got assigned a roommate. Alex also worked at a porn shop and had put up all kinds of sex toys as decorations. Cock-rings linked together and hung on the walls, dildos and butt plugs along with woodcarved homo-erotic statues on tables as art, Betty Page posters. . .did I mention Alex really liked to crossdress and go out to the bars as a woman?

Anyway, his roommate ends up being this 18 year old Southern guy who would dress like he was literally RP'ing as the fucking Marlboro Man or some shit. He would actually go out to bars in a black cowboy hat and ankle length black duster with black jeans, a black T-shirt, and cowboy boots; let's call him 'Johnny'. Johnny was less than thrilled walking into his new apartment to see gay shit literally everywhere. He asked if the dildos and butt plugs were used and was a combination of relieved with new horrors dawning on the horizon as it was explained those were just 'decorations' and that the toys Alex uses are kept in his bedroom in a dresser drawer. Johnny really didn't want to seem homophobic but finally demanded they both had to agree on decorations in the common areas. Into Alex's room went most of the sex toys and statues, the cock-ring wall-hanging stayed because Johnny didn't know what it was. Alex went to take down the Betty Page posters but Johnny said he liked them and so those and the framed photographs of friends Alex had stayed up on the living room walls.

An equilibrium was reached and they began to get along as roommates, except Johnny would periodically when drunk start in on a 'I fundamentally don't understand how gay guys get sexually aroused by men' routine. After around 2 months of life going on one afternoon Alex and I were drinking before going out to a bar and Johnny was having a few beers as well. Johnny started up with his routine and I could tell Alex was getting fed up with this shit.
Johnny proudly says, "I just don't understand how a man could be attracted to another man, like how does that even work?"
Alex casually walks across the living room to stand in front of an 8×11 framed photo of 3 girls with their arms around each others shoulders and says, "Hmm, come over here." Johnny walks over and Alex says, "Do you see these 3 girls in this picture?" Johnny replies, "Yeah?" Alex asks him, "Well which of these 3 girls do you think is the hottest?" The photo cuts off at the knees so each of the girl's body is visible.
Johnny looks at Alex, looks at the picture, looks back at Alex and says, "The one in the middle!" with a tone that sounded like 'Obviously the one in the middle is the most attractive, you can't fool me!'
Alex casually says, "Yeah, that's me in a wig and a dress." Johnny's jaw drops and he looks at Alex and says, "Nooo. . ." Alex shrugs and says, "look again." Johnny does like 4 double-takes trying to compare Alex with the 'Girl in the middle', so an octo-take trying to assimilate this information. Johnny then turns around and looks at me like a bewildered puppy with the request for confirmation written all over his face.
I say, "Yeah, that's Alex in drag. The fucked up thing is those other two are girls and you picked the guy out of that picture."
Johhny sits down dumbfounded and doesn't say a word. Alex and I finish pre-gaming and go out to the bar. We both kind of thought maybe Johnny would be less annoying.

Well that didn't happen. Instead Johnny had a new routine where for two weeks anytime he was quietly staring into space when he opened his mouth he would say, "Do you guys think I might be gay?" To which we both would in unison shout 'NO!!!' Alex broke it down for him onetime saying, "Does your cock get hard thinking about men's bodies? No? You're not gay!" I'm not as nice as Alex so when Johnny asked me what I thought, I said, "I don't think you're gay, but I've had sex with more women in your bed than you have.':lol:
About a week later I saw Alex downtown and said wassup? Alex was kind of quiet and I asked if Johnny was still fucked-up or something.
Alex said, "Yeah, he made a pass at me last night and tried to kiss me."
I said, "Well? What the fuck happened!?"
Alex said, "Well, I had to let him down. I said, 'Sorry, you're not my type.'":|

So TL;DR this trap was gay, and it fucked-up poor innocent Johnny's head.
 
And then the entire bar clapped and the bartender turned out to be Harvey M.ilk.

I'm pretty sure the cow in this case was Alex, because that socially retarded 'sex den' decor is right at home with ADF's own dumpsterfire of an apartment. Also pretty damn predictable given I've heard this one before, though never this exaggerated.
 
And then the entire bar clapped and the bartender turned out to be Harvey M.ilk.

I'm pretty sure the cow in this case was Alex, because that socially exceptional 'sex den' decor is right at home with ADF's own dumpsterfire of an apartment. Also pretty damn predictable given I've heard this one before, though never this exaggerated.

Yeah, I didn't really see Johnny after that, he was mostly just naive and really easy to fuck with. Stopped going over to their apartment because I figured the atmosphere would be awkward, and I found new places to hang out. Alex was always try-harding to be 'flaming'. It was hilarious having someone who would convincingly crossdress as Betty Page and go out on the town on his own initiative. I would use him to buy cigarettes for me, but the more I found out the funnier it got.

I only hung out with Alex when had had the apartment to himself and for a couple months into that Fall. I didn't really hear of Alex after that until like a year later a friend in my high school told me Alex raped him. The story turned out to be that my friend, Alex, and this other guy had been periodically having threesomes throughout the summer and during what ended up as the last one Alex was blowing him and my friend said 'Stop' and Alex kept going for like a minute. I didn't press him for the details because he seemed fucked-up about it, but I can just imagine Alex getting all huffy thinking his BJ skills were being insulted and being confused about which guy my friend was saying 'Stop' to.

I just remembered this friend from high school had his first 4 girlfriends come out as lesbians directly after they stopped dating him. I met him after the first 3 and he would make self-deprecating jokes about it. After the 4th one broke-up with him he told me he said to her, 'Just promise me one thing. Don't become a lesbian right after we break-up.' This was right before that summer.

Pretty much every time I ever saw or heard about Alex it was funny. The last I heard about him was 2 years later. 3 of my friends had been hitting on these 3 waitresses and after closing they went to have an orgy and for some reason Alex tagged along, I guess he had been at the bar. It was weird because Alex was trying to join in on the girls and none of the girls were into it, so Alex was the odd-man out, but he didn't leave. He ended up sitting naked in a chair playing with himself while watching, and this is how I found out from my friend Alex leans to the left. . .like 30°.
 
Late as hell because I've only been back for a little while and busy, but I just discovered that the Emma Watson Creeper guy, aka Ryanasaurus0077, actually has kind of shown up in other places here, something about a CLG wiki or something like that.

I'll share a factoid though - his practice of taking advantage of young, inexperienced authors as a way to make them write things he likes (read: has the hots for) has some folks on the internet convinced he's a child predator. I'm not sure what to say, which is all the creepier.
 
I used to know a tranny at college we'll call them "Dan", Dan generally seemed some what okay at first but the longer you him the more insufferable he became, a text book tumblrite if you will.

- obsession with the macabre, check.
- Clinically depressed, check
- Self diagnosed split personality disorder, check
- Emo/Goth wardrobe, check
- draws shitty art. check

Anyway the defining personality traits of this individual centred around being a homosexual man and making damn sure that every unfortunate fucker with a ten foot radius was fully aware of this as well. My contact with him was generally confined to the bus we took to get to college but that was enough to get full measure of his two dimensional character. Most conversations revolved around someone or something being gay, if not it would be around anime or shitty dating sims like "hatoful boyfriend", he ceaselessly spoke about pigeons from a solid three months after playing that. Another key aspect of his personalty was his almost constant barrage of baseless death/torture threats to people he disliked (which was a great many people). He would often go into autistic levels of detail into the process and would make myself and others uncomfortable as this was usually in public.

Aside from general autistic ramblings on public transport with a complete lack of social awareness. apparently talking quite loudly about how much you want to be in a relationship with Jotaro Kujo raises few eyebrows. He also managed to preach the tenets of toxic masculinity and male privilege. Occasionally someone would cross the line and debate him but rarely, most people would simple ignore him and his bullshit. This was the situation I left off at when i finished college and went off to University for the year. when I returned I was greeted with something far worse.

A friend of mine who still attended college had the displeasure of meeting Dan. He wasn't a particularly slim person before but maintained a vaguely feminine figure. my god twelve months can sure as fuck do a lot to a person. He became obese and apparently smelt like a combination of body odour with a hint of faecal matter, his personal hygiene wasn't exactly on point before but not too noticeable. As time goes on i hear even more and wilder stories of how far he's descended going so far as to admit to a stranger at a trans youth group that he is into ABDL and even has a Tumblr blog exhibiting this. That's right guys he gets off to shitting himself and provides an explanation as to why his hygiene has gotten significantly worse. He furthermore accused this individual of sexual harassment for no actual reason and has admitted that he lied. I have tried to find this blog, it could be potentially thread worthy and i have ultimately decided against it, trawling through that amount of degeneracy is something I don't have the stomach for.

In conclusion I have never seen Dan as a person and more of a character, an amalgamation of identities he desperately clings to in order to fit in with a group. To me he is a case study of how far the rabbit hole goes, how deep one's insecurity and desire for recognition can reach.
 
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