So, I've known a few weirdos, growing up, and there are four in particular who have really fucked me up, thinking back on it. I'm not sure if I should go over all four, even thought they're all pretty exceptional cases, but I suppose I should just start with one guy I've known since childhood - dude named Indie (name obviously changed).
So, Indie...Indie makes my soul hurt. To start, he's always been that one squirrely, skinny kid; now, I'm a fucking twig myself, but this kid could make me look like The Hulk, since he weighed less than 130lbs. Thing is, he had no reason to not be so skinny, since he was a complete fatass, but being a walking stick who was able to eat over his weight in food wasn't what was truly weird. For one, this kid would eat salt - just straight fucking salt - by the handful. As in, straight out the shaker. Straight. Fucking. Salt.
Besides that, Indie was a chronic sleeper, always sleeping in class, and flailing wildly when he wasn't. Now, me being the kind of person who tried to be friendly no matter what in School, I still came to hang out with him, and we were friends, but I'll be damned if he didn't do weird shit that made me question my decisions at times. Among these, aside from eating salt and having possible narcolepsy, he had a tendency to hoard things in his bookbag, and some of that included what I can only assume was used toilet paper. He pulled it out one day in class, and it was obviously a piece of notebook paper instead of toilet paper, but it had been folded and used so much that it had the consistency of tissue, and it was stained brown, and smelled like death, so it went without saying that nobody got close enough to him to actually confirm if it was shit. The worst part of this was that Indie apparently didn't know it was in his bag, and even after finding it, he just stuck it right back in his bag, and acted as if nothing had happened. Outside of that incident in school, he also popped a boner multiple times in public, just from watching two girls who were friends hugging.
After we all graduated, Indie continued to do weird shit. Among these, was letting a drug dealer fuck him in the ass for weed. He said he wasn't gay, but he openly admitted to letting the guy fuck him in exchange for pot, and that he even dated the dealer and kissed him, since it was still better than paying for drugs. The worst part? The weed wasn't even that good.
Now, looking back at him fucking a guy for pot and saying he wasn't gay, and popping boners over girls in public, I have no idea what his sexuality is, whether he's Gay or Bi, or what. I say this because he didn't seem to care about letting a guy fuck him, but while he apparently likes girls, he's turned down more sex than anyone I know. I can only assume that it's because they're not 2D girls, because I've had the displeasure of having a group chat get spammed with 2+gigs of hentai from Indie before when he was high, and he apparently had a thing for vidya girls, but he's totally inept around real women. He's one of those kids who grew up with nothing but vidya, and he's obsessed with it to the point that he's several years out of school, unemployed and living with his Mom, playing games 24/7, and it's because of his gaming addiction and general NEET lifestyle that Indie can't interact with girls IRL if his life depended on it. Examples of this include him going to a Strip Club, where a girl gave him a lap dance and asked him to spank her, only for him to completely go silent and start panicking. Another time, he was playing GTA V Online, when two (pretty hot) girls we knew were over. They got drunk, and walked up to him naked, and straight up asked him to join them for a three-way. Indie's reaction was to sigh, stare directly at them, and say "No thanks, I'd rather play GTA", before waving them off. He later turned them down again, and a week later he got a fleshlight as a gift, which he seemed to care about more than the actual women who had wanted him for some reason.
Finally, I have to get to Indie's gaming obsession. Now, him turning down threesomes hurts me on a metaphysical level as it is, but that's not where his devotion to vidya ends. His being offered a threesome happened prior to him living with his mom, during which he lived with a mutual friend of ours, and that mutual friend's wife. They allowed him to live there for free until he could get on his feet, but he never got a job, and basically lived on their couch, playing their PS4 every day. There, he zoned out, and totally ignored everything that happened around him, including them cooking, other friends coming over to hang out, etc. At one point, Indie was playing online, in a party with a few other guys and I, and he heard our friend's dogs getting into the refrigerator, where they had a couple hundred bucks of high-quality food. He was only several feet away, capable of just closing the fridge, but instead he just ignored it and let the dogs proceed to completely empty out the fridge. When the friend and his wife got home and saw it, they started to yell at Indie, asking him why the hell he didn't stop the dogs, and what he was thinking, to which Indie just ignored them, not saying a word. They continued to yell at him, even threatening to kick him out, but still, he continued to ignore them. What made this more crazy was that, a minute later, when our friend was trying to calm down, he asked Indie what he was doing on GTA to break the ice, and it was at that point that Indie opened up and began a minutes-long description of everything he was doing online in the game, as if nothing bad had transpired.
I should also mention that he loved GTA Online, and spent nearly $1500 on shark cards. Oh yeah, he also stays up for days at a time playing games, to the point that he's crashed and disappeared for over a week twice, leading to people thinking he had died.
Indie is hardly the lulziest weirdo I've known, too. As I've said, he's one of four RL lolcows I've known that stand out to me to this day.
TL;DR - Knew a kid who kept shit tissue in his backpack, had a gay relationship with a drug dealer for free weed, was addicted to GTA V, and turned down sex with multiple girls in favor of GTA and fleshlights/hentai.
I don’t know if it was the crystals or the morning meditation or a little bit of everything going on in the universe but today was incredibly aligned and everything I read, thought, listened to was intertwined. Really felt the magic and light and connection today! Straight. Up. Abundance.
fftopic: speaking of this kinda nonsense...surely, Deepak Chopra is a lolcow of some sort, right?
