- Joined
- Jun 6, 2013
Waitaminit -- you're telling me that you knew a "Neo-Pagan/Wiccan" female who was a fat, nerdy, narcissistic, delusional slob?
Say it ain't so!!!
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
- Thread starter Judge Holden
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Waitaminit -- you're telling me that you knew a "Neo-Pagan/Wiccan" female who was a fat, nerdy, narcissistic, delusional slob?
Say it ain't so!!!
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2014
I'm not a very hardcore fan of Elvis, but Elvis impersonators are really cool to me. This guy right here, who's now been inactive for years, was pretty hilarious back in his prime. He had this crazy belief that bad Elvis impersonators were tainting his legacy or something like that, and... Well, here's one of his overdramatic videos.
He also had this "war" against "Erin Elvis", a guy who could sing like him but not much else. I guess Erin could also be considered a lolcow himself, but he's not the guy I payed attention to.
He also had this "war" against "Erin Elvis", a guy who could sing like him but not much else. I guess Erin could also be considered a lolcow himself, but he's not the guy I payed attention to.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
Here's another one that I met through the aforementioned reading series.
He was pale to the point of looking like an albino. What set this guy apart from other "tortured poets" was that this guy was schizo or something. Outside of reading series, he would stand in the courtyard and recite poetry loudly. He really hated me for some reason, loudly stating that he didn't understand the "appeal" of me. One time he showed up to a party at my apartment and wound up getting so drunk he began forcing my friends to read poetry aloud. He ended the night by puking in a garbage can and wound up butt naked on my roof wrestling with my roommate's boyfriend while yelling "I DON'T TRUST YOUUUUUUUU". He hooked up with another one of my roommates and we believe he stole her pet snake because he fell in love with her when she was regretting it for obvious reasons.
Let's talk about his poetry for a second. He was insane. In one poem he recited, he listed off the name of every girl he ever kissed including those who were in attendance with their current boyfriends. Another time, he recited this poem where he kept screaming "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS TOWN WITH IT'S CHICKEN AND GREASE AND MEN IN OVERALLS AND WOMEN IN UNIFORMS" over and over again. Eventually he lit a $20 bill he claims he found on the street on fire in front of a bunch of broke college students.
He wound up getting expelled for a couple years for two reasons. The first was someone told him to shut up when he was reciting poetry in the courtyard so he spit in the kid's face. The second was that he sent 1,000 letters in the mail to some girl he was stalking. He also was arrested for a B&E in a warehouse with a bunch of his friends and snitched them out to the cops so fuck him.
He was pale to the point of looking like an albino. What set this guy apart from other "tortured poets" was that this guy was schizo or something. Outside of reading series, he would stand in the courtyard and recite poetry loudly. He really hated me for some reason, loudly stating that he didn't understand the "appeal" of me. One time he showed up to a party at my apartment and wound up getting so drunk he began forcing my friends to read poetry aloud. He ended the night by puking in a garbage can and wound up butt naked on my roof wrestling with my roommate's boyfriend while yelling "I DON'T TRUST YOUUUUUUUU". He hooked up with another one of my roommates and we believe he stole her pet snake because he fell in love with her when she was regretting it for obvious reasons.
Let's talk about his poetry for a second. He was insane. In one poem he recited, he listed off the name of every girl he ever kissed including those who were in attendance with their current boyfriends. Another time, he recited this poem where he kept screaming "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS TOWN WITH IT'S CHICKEN AND GREASE AND MEN IN OVERALLS AND WOMEN IN UNIFORMS" over and over again. Eventually he lit a $20 bill he claims he found on the street on fire in front of a bunch of broke college students.
He wound up getting expelled for a couple years for two reasons. The first was someone told him to shut up when he was reciting poetry in the courtyard so he spit in the kid's face. The second was that he sent 1,000 letters in the mail to some girl he was stalking. He also was arrested for a B&E in a warehouse with a bunch of his friends and snitched them out to the cops so fuck him.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
To prevent my cluttering of the Weeb thread from getting worse, I will dump all the info I have on a major personal lolcow of mine, a weeb named Stephen.
So Stephen is a cousin of one of my best friends. The guy's about 19 at this point (18 in the pix), and as far as anyone can tell does not have any neurological or psychological disorders that would explain what he does. To give a decent description on what he looks like, he's rail thin, and pretty short from what I remember. He's also a ginger, with the hair and freckles. He's very twitchy, and you will know if you've run into him because he makes sound effects with his mouth. I'm not joking, he actually makes battle noises when he's doing something or playing vidya. Did I forget to mention that this guy is of legal age to drive, vote, and be considered an adult?
He is hands down a super weeb, but only towards specific elements of Japan. In particular, he is completely and totally obsessed with ninjas, to the point where he played Warframe just because one of the classes was basically a ninja. His obsession also includes Naruto, Wrath of Heaven, and anything where there are ninjas. Hilariously, he despises Samurai and warriors of any type, probably because they run counter to the ninja ethos of cheat to win. He owns a variety of tat, ranging from toys found in the Dollar Store that he cherishes like most people their pets, to a replica katana that he thinks is real. I'm not joking; he has taken the sword off of its mounting on multiple occasions, mostly to threaten his family with death for interrupting or annoying him with responsibilities. He begged his family to buy him a custom PS2 that could play multiple regions, just so he could play Japanese games. He then plays these games, which typically cost more due to shipping, for less than an hour and leaves them be. Yep, just like Mr. Chandler, he just pays for stuff he never plays.
He's also self absorbed in the extreme and does not respect private property. A good example of this is how he treats another person's computer. Whenever he was at my friend's house, he would use and abuse his or my friend's mom's rig. For example, he decided to install about a dozen mods to my friend's game of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion without asking him. All of these mods involve anime tat or making the characters look more like they are from an anime, also made the women wear "sexier" outfits too. I think it gave my friend's rig some malware in the process, but that might also be due to the other thing that he does with other people's technology.
He looks up porn with other people's computers. Not only that, but he in particular looks up lolicon, with the girls usually being between the ages of 9 - 13 or so. Did I forget to mention he's of age now? And that he's doing this while staying over at a family members house? Using their own computer? Well anyway, he would then download these images so he can put them on his PSP. He'd then take this PSP and go into the bathroom to masturbate. He did this at least once a day too mind you. Oh, and when he's playing video games on the computer, he makes sound effects and stomps his feet, no matter what time of the day it is. Oh, and did I forget to mention that he steals from kin too? I didn't? well...
He stole my friend's steam account and his credit card. Why? Because Warframe. No seriously, he pulled this shit off just so he could play Warframe and get as much DLC for it as possible. For more details, here are some helpful photos and a transcription of another chat.
tl;dr version: He legitimately thinks he has access to Hashirama's wood powers, can do sealing like Jiraiya the Toad Sage, quoted porn at me, uses romaji he doesn't understand to insult people, lies to his family about cussing, couldn't understand I wasn't a cousin of his, and thinks if you type back stab into a chat, everyone else will either log off or die. Not joking.
The good news is my friend got his money back from his mom and then some. The bad news is it took him threatening legal action for that measure to occur. Yes, there is a reason why idealism is a joke.
Also, if you did read the long threads of fail, you'll note I make fun of his teeth a lot. There's a reason for this. He hasn't brushed his teeth since the Clinton years, ie as a child. He also lurves sweets like ice cream, candy, and soda. He also has never been to a dentist. So, when his mom gets a pang of parenting conscience, likely due to the threat of seeing her son possibly going on trail, she took him to the dentist. This was because everything was hurting his mouth at this point, even fluids. The dentist assigned to him was a veteran, being at the clinic for over twenty years, and I actually know the reaction that she had when she saw his mouth, since my friend was nearby. The reaction? "Oh God."
Yes, Stephen's teeth are so bad that a very experienced dentist has never seen something that bad. The dentist absolutely refused to clean them, since she feared that if she did, quite a few of them would fall out or crack since they were more cavity than tooth. She eventually stated that all but two were completely unsalveagable. That's right, not even at the age of twenty and this guy pretty much needs a full set of dentures. Oh, and going to the dentist? He swung his katana at his mom to try and kill her, since she was dragging him away from Warframe. Oh, and he also ran away when she scheduled the removal procedure too, abusing the trust of one of his weeb friends to do it.
Oh, and speaking of family, they ain't so hot either. Let me just rip what I said on them from the Weeb thread:
So I guess it runs in that branch of the family?
Speaking of family, he really hates one of his cousins, a fellow named Brandon. Brandon is actually very nice fella; he works hard at a business and he's generally a pretty chill guy. Why does Weeb hate him though? Oh that's easy: Brandon accidentally broke one of the cheaper toys he bought at the dollar store. The thing was amazingly flimsy by toy standards, and the plastic just cracked due to slight handling of it. Brandon offered to buy another one to replace it (the toy literally being like $1.00), but Weeb got mad. It's been two years since that incident and Weeb is still angry at him. He also thought I was him weirdly enough.
Oh, and one last story on Weeb: the infamous Ice Cream story. This tale involves Brandon, my friend, and Weeb. Brandon was going off to his job, and asked my friend if he wanted anything when he came back. My friend shrugged and asked for some ice cream from a local place, if he had the time to make it there since Brandon is a busy guy and bounces around a lot. Weeb overhears this and barges in demanding ice cream too. Brandon agrees to it as well, mentioning that he'll try to get the ice cream if he had the time. He goes off to work, and on the way back stops by the ice cream parlor.
Like I said, Brandon is a busy guy, and in a rush, so he kind of forgets he was ordering for three, and asks for a cone for himself. He gets back home and remembers that he was supposed to get three cones instead. He apologizes to the two of them, and gave the cone to my friend, mostly because he was the one to ask of it first. This pissed off weeb immensely since NO ICE CREAM, to the point that he is still mad over the fact several months later.
And that's the story of Weeb. I'm probably forgetting some of the details and a few stories, but these are the core aspects of what makes this guy so amazingly awful in my eyes.
So Stephen is a cousin of one of my best friends. The guy's about 19 at this point (18 in the pix), and as far as anyone can tell does not have any neurological or psychological disorders that would explain what he does. To give a decent description on what he looks like, he's rail thin, and pretty short from what I remember. He's also a ginger, with the hair and freckles. He's very twitchy, and you will know if you've run into him because he makes sound effects with his mouth. I'm not joking, he actually makes battle noises when he's doing something or playing vidya. Did I forget to mention that this guy is of legal age to drive, vote, and be considered an adult?
He is hands down a super weeb, but only towards specific elements of Japan. In particular, he is completely and totally obsessed with ninjas, to the point where he played Warframe just because one of the classes was basically a ninja. His obsession also includes Naruto, Wrath of Heaven, and anything where there are ninjas. Hilariously, he despises Samurai and warriors of any type, probably because they run counter to the ninja ethos of cheat to win. He owns a variety of tat, ranging from toys found in the Dollar Store that he cherishes like most people their pets, to a replica katana that he thinks is real. I'm not joking; he has taken the sword off of its mounting on multiple occasions, mostly to threaten his family with death for interrupting or annoying him with responsibilities. He begged his family to buy him a custom PS2 that could play multiple regions, just so he could play Japanese games. He then plays these games, which typically cost more due to shipping, for less than an hour and leaves them be. Yep, just like Mr. Chandler, he just pays for stuff he never plays.
He's also self absorbed in the extreme and does not respect private property. A good example of this is how he treats another person's computer. Whenever he was at my friend's house, he would use and abuse his or my friend's mom's rig. For example, he decided to install about a dozen mods to my friend's game of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion without asking him. All of these mods involve anime tat or making the characters look more like they are from an anime, also made the women wear "sexier" outfits too. I think it gave my friend's rig some malware in the process, but that might also be due to the other thing that he does with other people's technology.
He looks up porn with other people's computers. Not only that, but he in particular looks up lolicon, with the girls usually being between the ages of 9 - 13 or so. Did I forget to mention he's of age now? And that he's doing this while staying over at a family members house? Using their own computer? Well anyway, he would then download these images so he can put them on his PSP. He'd then take this PSP and go into the bathroom to masturbate. He did this at least once a day too mind you. Oh, and when he's playing video games on the computer, he makes sound effects and stomps his feet, no matter what time of the day it is. Oh, and did I forget to mention that he steals from kin too? I didn't? well...
He stole my friend's steam account and his credit card. Why? Because Warframe. No seriously, he pulled this shit off just so he could play Warframe and get as much DLC for it as possible. For more details, here are some helpful photos and a transcription of another chat.
Granzon: Wow, you must really like playing Warframe
Ember: oh u again
Granzon: Yap
Granzon: You do realize that you're going to beat your cousin's time on Killing Floor in a couple weeks, right?
Granzon: And that it took him fours to do that, RIGHT?
Ember: fours
Granzon: I meant four years.
Granzon: I whoops'd.
Ember: fool
Granzon: I'm actually the Prince of Fools.
Granzon: Get my title right, you fool.
Ember: fuck u
Granzon: Swear jar.
Ember: pain
Granzon: From poor dental hygiene?
Ember: brandon
Granzon: I'm not Brandon.
Granzon: Didn't we go over this?
Granzon: Is your memory so bad, that you FORGOT about this?
Ember: BRANDON STOP
Granzon: Brandon's not doing anything.
Granzon: Because I'm not him.
Granzon: So you have bad teeth and a bad brain.
Granzon: Not that surprising.
Ember: i know u
Granzon: Yeah.
Ember: fell thretend?
Granzon: Nope.
Ember: bow down
Granzon: lol no
Granzon: Even if you waved your shitty, fragile, replica katana at me, I would respond by laughing my ass off at you.
Granzon: And then proceed to shatter it.'
Ember: brandon
Granzon: No, I'm the Prince of Fools.
Granzon: I'm also piloted by Shu Shirikawa and shoot black holes.
Granzon: Only magic can make me more broken.
Ember: so i know nindo art yeah
Granzon: Threatening to stab bitches with a fake katana doesn't count.
Granzon: Especially since that's not how you use those.
Ember: no tenchu rikimaru wrath of heaven
Granzon: I raise your abilty to fiction with reality.
Granzon: Welcome to hell.
Granzon: Your mouth is familiar with it, what with half of your teeth needing to be pulled, and the fact your gums spew fucking blood.
Granzon: But that's what happens when you never brush.
Ember: FUCK YOU BEANDON
Ember: brandon
Granzon: Wow, this is the first time I've seen you correct yourself.
Granzon: I'm still not Brandon though.
Ember: go huff yourself
Granzon: Huff?
Ember: you face ninja art explosive tag
Ember: damn it
Granzon: Fuinjutsu's not gonna save you, 'cause it ain't real.
Ember: ive done it
Granzon: I'm not exploded though.
Granzon: Jiraiya you ain't.
Ember: not on youstupid fuck
Granzon: I couldn't tell since you never specified.
Granzon: That's something you have to do when you talk to people.
Granzon: Not that you do that much.
Ember: i have far and wide travled the distance levels of land
Ember: fought millions of monsters
Granzon: You've never left your basement.
Ember: created 1000 of blades
Granzon: You don't know how to anything.
Granzon: You shame your family's honor.
Granzon: The only solution for you is sudoku.
Granzon: Especially since you quoted pornography at me.
Ember: each blade left in a beast
Granzon: Each fantasy broken by reality.
Granzon: Much like your broken as shit teeth.
Ember: imbecile!
Granzon: No, I'm a fool.
Granzon: The prince of them in fact.
Granzon: By the way, your stupidity is going down forever on my computer.
Granzon: I'm saving this chat, so I can forever laugh at you.
Ember: hah patetic
Ember: cunt
Granzon: At least I don't have to get my teeth pulled.
Granzon: And I don't threaten my family with a fake sword.
Ember: cunt
Granzon: It took you that long to write the same word again?
Ember: no stupid
Granzon: But it's the same word.
Granzon: And you're brain is as damaged as your teeth.
Granzon: I meant your
Granzon: Whoops.
Ember: what
Granzon: I fixed an error of mine.
Granzon: You see, people with a brain tend to do things like that.
Ember: ill stop you
Granzon: With what?
Granzon: Words? Because you're bad with those.
Granzon: Magic? That doesn't exist?
Granzon: What can you possibly stop me with?
Ember: nindo art sacred
Granzon: That doesn't exist either.
Granzon: And even if it did, you wouldn't know it.
Ember: i know wood powers great god
Granzon: You are no Hashirama.
Granzon: You are a delusional faggot that's a drain on your family's finances.
Ember: fool i am lord of life
Ember: i breath life
Ember: i gave you whats yours
Granzon: No you didn't.
Ember: and brandom
Granzon: All you can do is take.
Ember: you teat me this
Ember: way
Ember: i can take everything i gave to youback
Granzon: I'm not Brandon.
Ember: you want that mortal
Ember: i told you before not to mess with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Granzon: You think you're immortal?
Ember: so stop!!!!!!!!
Granzon: I'll probably outlive you.
Granzon: And on top of that, I really hope Brandon comes over to your house and breaks all of your shitty toys.
Ember: your only warning before i takeback whats mine
Granzon: Disrespectful little shit.
Granzon: You can't anything back.
Granzon: You're too frail and weak to even try.
Ember: you really want to do this
Granzon: Go ahead.
Ember: u fool
Granzon: This isn't gonna affect me.
Granzon: Mainly because I don't even live in the same state as you.
Granzon: And you're are gonna flail at someone that's not me.
Ember: behind you
Granzon: Nope.
Granzon: Even if you were behind me, I'd break you.
Granzon: Just like Ivan Drago did to Apollo Creed.
Ember: rikimaru
Ember: did you not here wrath of heaven
Granzon: Did you not hear that that's fiction.
Ember: i heard your fucking idiot
Ember: fucking brandon
Granzon: Fuck it, you're not gonna learn.
Ember: u take defeat?
Granzon: Hell no.
Ember: then we battle later warrior
Ember: goodbye
Ember: backstab
Ember: goaway
Ember: i thought i told you to go offline.
Granzon: Why should I?
Ember: back stab
Granzon: I have as much right to internet as you.
Granzon: You can't kill me boyah!
Ember: your be working can tell yourmom your not
Granzon: Go ahead.
Granzon: You're going to be wrong.
Ember: i went got food still online fucking brandon
Granzon: Since I'm not Brandon.
Ember: im not chad
Granzon: Who?
Ember: stupid fucking brandon
Granzon: Not Brandon.
Ember: all you do is poke my tooth
Granzon: Because you have poor hygiene.
Ember: who told you about my teth demand answers
Ember: ill beat them up
Granzon: Ember did.
Granzon: Go beat him up.
Granzon: Oh wait, you can't.
Granzon: You're too frail.
Ember: brandon demand answers
Granzon: Why should I?
Ember: becaus
Granzon: That's not a reason.
Ember: oh u again
Granzon: Yap
Granzon: You do realize that you're going to beat your cousin's time on Killing Floor in a couple weeks, right?
Granzon: And that it took him fours to do that, RIGHT?
Ember: fours
Granzon: I meant four years.
Granzon: I whoops'd.
Ember: fool
Granzon: I'm actually the Prince of Fools.
Granzon: Get my title right, you fool.
Ember: fuck u
Granzon: Swear jar.
Ember: pain
Granzon: From poor dental hygiene?
Ember: brandon
Granzon: I'm not Brandon.
Granzon: Didn't we go over this?
Granzon: Is your memory so bad, that you FORGOT about this?
Ember: BRANDON STOP
Granzon: Brandon's not doing anything.
Granzon: Because I'm not him.
Granzon: So you have bad teeth and a bad brain.
Granzon: Not that surprising.
Ember: i know u
Granzon: Yeah.
Ember: fell thretend?
Granzon: Nope.
Ember: bow down
Granzon: lol no
Granzon: Even if you waved your shitty, fragile, replica katana at me, I would respond by laughing my ass off at you.
Granzon: And then proceed to shatter it.'
Ember: brandon
Granzon: No, I'm the Prince of Fools.
Granzon: I'm also piloted by Shu Shirikawa and shoot black holes.
Granzon: Only magic can make me more broken.
Ember: so i know nindo art yeah
Granzon: Threatening to stab bitches with a fake katana doesn't count.
Granzon: Especially since that's not how you use those.
Ember: no tenchu rikimaru wrath of heaven
Granzon: I raise your abilty to fiction with reality.
Granzon: Welcome to hell.
Granzon: Your mouth is familiar with it, what with half of your teeth needing to be pulled, and the fact your gums spew fucking blood.
Granzon: But that's what happens when you never brush.
Ember: FUCK YOU BEANDON
Ember: brandon
Granzon: Wow, this is the first time I've seen you correct yourself.
Granzon: I'm still not Brandon though.
Ember: go huff yourself
Granzon: Huff?
Ember: you face ninja art explosive tag
Ember: damn it
Granzon: Fuinjutsu's not gonna save you, 'cause it ain't real.
Ember: ive done it
Granzon: I'm not exploded though.
Granzon: Jiraiya you ain't.
Ember: not on youstupid fuck
Granzon: I couldn't tell since you never specified.
Granzon: That's something you have to do when you talk to people.
Granzon: Not that you do that much.
Ember: i have far and wide travled the distance levels of land
Ember: fought millions of monsters
Granzon: You've never left your basement.
Ember: created 1000 of blades
Granzon: You don't know how to anything.
Granzon: You shame your family's honor.
Granzon: The only solution for you is sudoku.
Granzon: Especially since you quoted pornography at me.
Ember: each blade left in a beast
Granzon: Each fantasy broken by reality.
Granzon: Much like your broken as shit teeth.
Ember: imbecile!
Granzon: No, I'm a fool.
Granzon: The prince of them in fact.
Granzon: By the way, your stupidity is going down forever on my computer.
Granzon: I'm saving this chat, so I can forever laugh at you.
Ember: hah patetic
Ember: cunt
Granzon: At least I don't have to get my teeth pulled.
Granzon: And I don't threaten my family with a fake sword.
Ember: cunt
Granzon: It took you that long to write the same word again?
Ember: no stupid
Granzon: But it's the same word.
Granzon: And you're brain is as damaged as your teeth.
Granzon: I meant your
Granzon: Whoops.
Ember: what
Granzon: I fixed an error of mine.
Granzon: You see, people with a brain tend to do things like that.
Ember: ill stop you
Granzon: With what?
Granzon: Words? Because you're bad with those.
Granzon: Magic? That doesn't exist?
Granzon: What can you possibly stop me with?
Ember: nindo art sacred
Granzon: That doesn't exist either.
Granzon: And even if it did, you wouldn't know it.
Ember: i know wood powers great god
Granzon: You are no Hashirama.
Granzon: You are a delusional faggot that's a drain on your family's finances.
Ember: fool i am lord of life
Ember: i breath life
Ember: i gave you whats yours
Granzon: No you didn't.
Ember: and brandom
Granzon: All you can do is take.
Ember: you teat me this
Ember: way
Ember: i can take everything i gave to youback
Granzon: I'm not Brandon.
Ember: you want that mortal
Ember: i told you before not to mess with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Granzon: You think you're immortal?
Ember: so stop!!!!!!!!
Granzon: I'll probably outlive you.
Granzon: And on top of that, I really hope Brandon comes over to your house and breaks all of your shitty toys.
Ember: your only warning before i takeback whats mine
Granzon: Disrespectful little shit.
Granzon: You can't anything back.
Granzon: You're too frail and weak to even try.
Ember: you really want to do this
Granzon: Go ahead.
Ember: u fool
Granzon: This isn't gonna affect me.
Granzon: Mainly because I don't even live in the same state as you.
Granzon: And you're are gonna flail at someone that's not me.
Ember: behind you
Granzon: Nope.
Granzon: Even if you were behind me, I'd break you.
Granzon: Just like Ivan Drago did to Apollo Creed.
Ember: rikimaru
Ember: did you not here wrath of heaven
Granzon: Did you not hear that that's fiction.
Ember: i heard your fucking idiot
Ember: fucking brandon
Granzon: Fuck it, you're not gonna learn.
Ember: u take defeat?
Granzon: Hell no.
Ember: then we battle later warrior
Ember: goodbye
Ember: backstab
Ember: goaway
Ember: i thought i told you to go offline.
Granzon: Why should I?
Ember: back stab
Granzon: I have as much right to internet as you.
Granzon: You can't kill me boyah!
Ember: your be working can tell yourmom your not
Granzon: Go ahead.
Granzon: You're going to be wrong.
Ember: i went got food still online fucking brandon
Granzon: Since I'm not Brandon.
Ember: im not chad
Granzon: Who?
Ember: stupid fucking brandon
Granzon: Not Brandon.
Ember: all you do is poke my tooth
Granzon: Because you have poor hygiene.
Ember: who told you about my teth demand answers
Ember: ill beat them up
Granzon: Ember did.
Granzon: Go beat him up.
Granzon: Oh wait, you can't.
Granzon: You're too frail.
Ember: brandon demand answers
Granzon: Why should I?
Ember: becaus
Granzon: That's not a reason.
tl;dr version: He legitimately thinks he has access to Hashirama's wood powers, can do sealing like Jiraiya the Toad Sage, quoted porn at me, uses romaji he doesn't understand to insult people, lies to his family about cussing, couldn't understand I wasn't a cousin of his, and thinks if you type back stab into a chat, everyone else will either log off or die. Not joking.
The good news is my friend got his money back from his mom and then some. The bad news is it took him threatening legal action for that measure to occur. Yes, there is a reason why idealism is a joke.
Also, if you did read the long threads of fail, you'll note I make fun of his teeth a lot. There's a reason for this. He hasn't brushed his teeth since the Clinton years, ie as a child. He also lurves sweets like ice cream, candy, and soda. He also has never been to a dentist. So, when his mom gets a pang of parenting conscience, likely due to the threat of seeing her son possibly going on trail, she took him to the dentist. This was because everything was hurting his mouth at this point, even fluids. The dentist assigned to him was a veteran, being at the clinic for over twenty years, and I actually know the reaction that she had when she saw his mouth, since my friend was nearby. The reaction? "Oh God."
Yes, Stephen's teeth are so bad that a very experienced dentist has never seen something that bad. The dentist absolutely refused to clean them, since she feared that if she did, quite a few of them would fall out or crack since they were more cavity than tooth. She eventually stated that all but two were completely unsalveagable. That's right, not even at the age of twenty and this guy pretty much needs a full set of dentures. Oh, and going to the dentist? He swung his katana at his mom to try and kill her, since she was dragging him away from Warframe. Oh, and he also ran away when she scheduled the removal procedure too, abusing the trust of one of his weeb friends to do it.
Oh, and speaking of family, they ain't so hot either. Let me just rip what I said on them from the Weeb thread:
So I guess it runs in that branch of the family?
Speaking of family, he really hates one of his cousins, a fellow named Brandon. Brandon is actually very nice fella; he works hard at a business and he's generally a pretty chill guy. Why does Weeb hate him though? Oh that's easy: Brandon accidentally broke one of the cheaper toys he bought at the dollar store. The thing was amazingly flimsy by toy standards, and the plastic just cracked due to slight handling of it. Brandon offered to buy another one to replace it (the toy literally being like $1.00), but Weeb got mad. It's been two years since that incident and Weeb is still angry at him. He also thought I was him weirdly enough.
Oh, and one last story on Weeb: the infamous Ice Cream story. This tale involves Brandon, my friend, and Weeb. Brandon was going off to his job, and asked my friend if he wanted anything when he came back. My friend shrugged and asked for some ice cream from a local place, if he had the time to make it there since Brandon is a busy guy and bounces around a lot. Weeb overhears this and barges in demanding ice cream too. Brandon agrees to it as well, mentioning that he'll try to get the ice cream if he had the time. He goes off to work, and on the way back stops by the ice cream parlor.
Like I said, Brandon is a busy guy, and in a rush, so he kind of forgets he was ordering for three, and asks for a cone for himself. He gets back home and remembers that he was supposed to get three cones instead. He apologizes to the two of them, and gave the cone to my friend, mostly because he was the one to ask of it first. This pissed off weeb immensely since NO ICE CREAM, to the point that he is still mad over the fact several months later.
And that's the story of Weeb. I'm probably forgetting some of the details and a few stories, but these are the core aspects of what makes this guy so amazingly awful in my eyes.
- Joined
- May 12, 2013
I had shitty neighbors some years back. Thankfully, they aren't in our lives anymore, but boy howdy did they make life miserable for us.
They were a married couple and three kids. Said married couple and my mother hit it off over a mutual liking for pot. Some years back, they moved across from our house.
Husband was a bit of a drug-fiend. He liked pot, beer, and other assorted drugs. He regularly abused his wife. Wife would often come over to our house and gripe about husband's bullshit. She said she planned to divorce him. She continued to say that the entire time they were our neighbors. Last I heard, she finally fucking did it and divorced him after they left.
During the time they lived across the street from us, things would go missing. Chief amongst those things were a camera my mother got from my aunt which she really liked, several articles of food, several video games, a Wii, and a 360. I only ever caught them once with a bag of pizza rolls I had set on the oven while waiting for the oven to pre-heat. Based on that, I'm positive husband and wife were sneaking into our house when we were away or asleep and absconding with our shit. The thefts made me paranoid of leaving the house for quite a while: if I left for any reason other than to go to the grocery store or a nearby fast food joint, I'd start getting migraines. It took a year or so before I got that shit under control. I still carry ibuprofen with me as a result.
The kids were obnoxious shits. They often got in fights with mom. These fights were often loud (which aggravated my autism) and wife would often exasperate out loud about why her kids don't do what she says. The kids also were taught to hide drugs and pill bottles if the police were around. That is not how you parent. The eldest daughter also had a habit of leaving used tampons on the floor after she hit puberty. Disgusting.
Husband couldn't hold a job to save his life. Wife used to work at a barbourshop at the mall. Then she up and stopped going. This meant no money. This meant no rent. This meant the landlord evicted them.
Sadly, they hadn't finished fucking around with us quite yet. They shacked up with wife's parents, but couldn't keep the dogs at their place until they found a new home, so they left them with us. The dogs were an old pitbull who was a notorious cat eater: thus, he couldn't be kept in the house and chained him in the backyard; and a puppy terrier mix.
They said they'd be able to take the dogs back in a week or two.
We kept the pit bull for almost a year.
We didn't keep the puppy that long: when it started teething, it started to wreck everything, including one pair of my glasses, a video game case (the game inside was spared, thankfully), and a controller. We couldn't keep it, so we gave it away so my sister's neighbors. We were almost ready to take the pit to a shelter: considering its age and breed, it would've been a death sentence, and that would've destroyed me. Thankfully, they were smart enough take it back.
After moving away, wife still had intermittent contact with mum, but we never did trust them again. For some months, mum would lend money to wife in exchange for borrowing their food stamp card when we were in need of food and needed some money to pay bills. The last straw came when, on one occasion, wife gave mum the food stamp card with no money on it. We were still able to get groceries that day and did not go hungry, but we had to use money that could've gone to utilities.
Mum was royally pissed. With that, she cut the idjits out of our lives completely.
I have not seen them since, and if I never see them again, it will be too soon.
I apologize if that was long winded.
They were a married couple and three kids. Said married couple and my mother hit it off over a mutual liking for pot. Some years back, they moved across from our house.
Husband was a bit of a drug-fiend. He liked pot, beer, and other assorted drugs. He regularly abused his wife. Wife would often come over to our house and gripe about husband's bullshit. She said she planned to divorce him. She continued to say that the entire time they were our neighbors. Last I heard, she finally fucking did it and divorced him after they left.
During the time they lived across the street from us, things would go missing. Chief amongst those things were a camera my mother got from my aunt which she really liked, several articles of food, several video games, a Wii, and a 360. I only ever caught them once with a bag of pizza rolls I had set on the oven while waiting for the oven to pre-heat. Based on that, I'm positive husband and wife were sneaking into our house when we were away or asleep and absconding with our shit. The thefts made me paranoid of leaving the house for quite a while: if I left for any reason other than to go to the grocery store or a nearby fast food joint, I'd start getting migraines. It took a year or so before I got that shit under control. I still carry ibuprofen with me as a result.
The kids were obnoxious shits. They often got in fights with mom. These fights were often loud (which aggravated my autism) and wife would often exasperate out loud about why her kids don't do what she says. The kids also were taught to hide drugs and pill bottles if the police were around. That is not how you parent. The eldest daughter also had a habit of leaving used tampons on the floor after she hit puberty. Disgusting.
Husband couldn't hold a job to save his life. Wife used to work at a barbourshop at the mall. Then she up and stopped going. This meant no money. This meant no rent. This meant the landlord evicted them.
Sadly, they hadn't finished fucking around with us quite yet. They shacked up with wife's parents, but couldn't keep the dogs at their place until they found a new home, so they left them with us. The dogs were an old pitbull who was a notorious cat eater: thus, he couldn't be kept in the house and chained him in the backyard; and a puppy terrier mix.
They said they'd be able to take the dogs back in a week or two.
We kept the pit bull for almost a year.
We didn't keep the puppy that long: when it started teething, it started to wreck everything, including one pair of my glasses, a video game case (the game inside was spared, thankfully), and a controller. We couldn't keep it, so we gave it away so my sister's neighbors. We were almost ready to take the pit to a shelter: considering its age and breed, it would've been a death sentence, and that would've destroyed me. Thankfully, they were smart enough take it back.
After moving away, wife still had intermittent contact with mum, but we never did trust them again. For some months, mum would lend money to wife in exchange for borrowing their food stamp card when we were in need of food and needed some money to pay bills. The last straw came when, on one occasion, wife gave mum the food stamp card with no money on it. We were still able to get groceries that day and did not go hungry, but we had to use money that could've gone to utilities.
Mum was royally pissed. With that, she cut the idjits out of our lives completely.
I have not seen them since, and if I never see them again, it will be too soon.
I apologize if that was long winded.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
As I can't seem to make a new thread, let me just leave this here.
What do you call a fat, autistic neckbeard that loves Bratz & MLP but at the same time claims not to be a brony? What if the same person that totally isn't a brony for really reals decides to write fanfiction where he not only goes to Equestria but ends up fucking Twilight Sparkle? And what if the same totally not a brony but still being a pony fucker in his story rips off several other stories in the process and steals entire paragraphs from said stories but defends it because Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn in his story so they're totally different? You'd obviously call him a fat, autistic neckbeard plagiarist pony fucker. Or you could call him Mat.
Ladies, meet Mathew Reed. Mathew is a retard that enjoys sitting at home, making videos about himself and getting a monthly tugboat. He hates being told that he's wrong and will totally censor his youtube page, and any other page he can, when confronted with his hypocrisy or total lack of writing skills. Since getting caught plagiarizing on that bastion of sperginess known as Fimfiction he's taken to continuing his story and will eventually publish it elsewhere. Here's an excerpt from an earlier version which might not exist in the current version:
Yeah, totally not a brony right? Even though he thinks she's cute and later on gets turned into a pony himself, becomes the seventh Element of Harmony and totally gets it on with Twilight Sparkle, he's totally not a brony. Doesn't explain his love of ponies or Bratz for that matter. He's even gone as far as to film the entire version of "Bratz: Pampered Pets" and post it on his channel. An actual cam recording of a TV playing that video including his giggles and occasional comments in the background.
So, lolcow worthy?
What do you call a fat, autistic neckbeard that loves Bratz & MLP but at the same time claims not to be a brony? What if the same person that totally isn't a brony for really reals decides to write fanfiction where he not only goes to Equestria but ends up fucking Twilight Sparkle? And what if the same totally not a brony but still being a pony fucker in his story rips off several other stories in the process and steals entire paragraphs from said stories but defends it because Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn in his story so they're totally different? You'd obviously call him a fat, autistic neckbeard plagiarist pony fucker. Or you could call him Mat.
Ladies, meet Mathew Reed. Mathew is a retard that enjoys sitting at home, making videos about himself and getting a monthly tugboat. He hates being told that he's wrong and will totally censor his youtube page, and any other page he can, when confronted with his hypocrisy or total lack of writing skills. Since getting caught plagiarizing on that bastion of sperginess known as Fimfiction he's taken to continuing his story and will eventually publish it elsewhere. Here's an excerpt from an earlier version which might not exist in the current version:
Some Sperg said:
Yeah, totally not a brony right? Even though he thinks she's cute and later on gets turned into a pony himself, becomes the seventh Element of Harmony and totally gets it on with Twilight Sparkle, he's totally not a brony. Doesn't explain his love of ponies or Bratz for that matter. He's even gone as far as to film the entire version of "Bratz: Pampered Pets" and post it on his channel. An actual cam recording of a TV playing that video including his giggles and occasional comments in the background.
So, lolcow worthy?
- Joined
- May 25, 2013
If it's only a little a-logging you're probably better than most people about their ex-es.
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2014
I kinda do have a personal one, it involves anime to an extent but it's not weeby enough for the weeaboo thread, but a me and a friend go to our local college's anime club and while we may enjoy the quiet times between 8AM to 9AM and 2 to 5:30, anime clubs will always, always be giant sperg magnets.
I'll try not to get A-Loggy about this, but after spending almost a year in this club, you either become jaded to the weird people there, or you want to strangle them slowly. there is no in between with some people in this club.
First guy is a 'depressed autistic jew' (his words, not mine) who I frankly have to say, is the most annoying person I have ever met in my life. Guy comes in yelling and screaming, making really shit jokes and puns while doing an annoying 'HAAAHUEHUEHUEHUEHEUEHUE' laugh then repeating the joke over and over very loudly to others in the club who heard it the first time, he also owed MANY people money (one of my friends, he owes 80$!) and bawwss when people won't let him borrow money because we all know he won't pay it back. Him and his stoner friend when they talk get loud as all fuck and it causes problems since the clubrooms are in tiny rooms all closely knit, so if one club gets obnoxiously loud, we get a noise complaint and once it builds up, out club would be closed and replaced with another club.
We've told this guy MANY times to keep it quiet or STFU and everytime we do he has to pull a 'but im depressed/autistic/you don't do that to other people!' card that it just plain pisses me off. Were telling you to STFU or else the whole club gets banned due to your obnoxious volume and racism, calling him out usually leads to him having a temper tantrum like a five year old and BAWWWWing even when the club execs tell him to STFU.
Heck because of this guy, we had to 'install' a pun jar so he could shut the fuck up. 25 cents per pun and since we know he has no money, he'll stay quiet (we've had it in the room for two days now, and he hasn't dared to venture into the room, but I am so sorry LBGT and Gamers clubs on what we unleashed.)
Second guy is who i'll call trainguy. He's mentally retarded by accident since he got hit by a train.....while it was winter and it was dark out so he was a special case before he got hit. Everytime he comes into the club, he has to rant about how shitty the muslim club rooms are (which are infront of the anime club) or how bad the Christian fellowship club's people are with muh jeezus. He's also loud as fuck and friends with the loud as fuck sperg mentioned above.
Third isn't really worth mentioning but it's a Smash Bros tryhard who thinks he's top shit for having an overpriced macbook and that MELEE IS DA BEST. He talks in an annoying nasally voice and tries to sound 'sooper smart' that would give Sheldon from Big Bang a run for his money.
Last one is a girl, who in all means creeps me the fuck out and I can't do much about her as she rarely comes around but when she does, she gets kinda loud, very touchy and very personal. Back in March, I introduced my friend (I am so sorry friend if you're reading this, Im sorry for the hell I have brought upon you) to the club, and first thing she does is sit on his lap (for no reason) and touch and prod him which made him very,very uncomfortable. Heck just last week, I was busy drawing and minding my buisness until all of a sudden, she goes up to me, kisses my cheek and 'nuzzles' it like a cat would.
All I could do was sit there with a blank face, but internally I was screaming like my poor icon.
First guy is a 'depressed autistic jew' (his words, not mine) who I frankly have to say, is the most annoying person I have ever met in my life. Guy comes in yelling and screaming, making really shit jokes and puns while doing an annoying 'HAAAHUEHUEHUEHUEHEUEHUE' laugh then repeating the joke over and over very loudly to others in the club who heard it the first time, he also owed MANY people money (one of my friends, he owes 80$!) and bawwss when people won't let him borrow money because we all know he won't pay it back. Him and his stoner friend when they talk get loud as all fuck and it causes problems since the clubrooms are in tiny rooms all closely knit, so if one club gets obnoxiously loud, we get a noise complaint and once it builds up, out club would be closed and replaced with another club.
We've told this guy MANY times to keep it quiet or STFU and everytime we do he has to pull a 'but im depressed/autistic/you don't do that to other people!' card that it just plain pisses me off. Were telling you to STFU or else the whole club gets banned due to your obnoxious volume and racism, calling him out usually leads to him having a temper tantrum like a five year old and BAWWWWing even when the club execs tell him to STFU.
Heck because of this guy, we had to 'install' a pun jar so he could shut the fuck up. 25 cents per pun and since we know he has no money, he'll stay quiet (we've had it in the room for two days now, and he hasn't dared to venture into the room, but I am so sorry LBGT and Gamers clubs on what we unleashed.)
Second guy is who i'll call trainguy. He's mentally retarded by accident since he got hit by a train.....while it was winter and it was dark out so he was a special case before he got hit. Everytime he comes into the club, he has to rant about how shitty the muslim club rooms are (which are infront of the anime club) or how bad the Christian fellowship club's people are with muh jeezus. He's also loud as fuck and friends with the loud as fuck sperg mentioned above.
Third isn't really worth mentioning but it's a Smash Bros tryhard who thinks he's top shit for having an overpriced macbook and that MELEE IS DA BEST. He talks in an annoying nasally voice and tries to sound 'sooper smart' that would give Sheldon from Big Bang a run for his money.
Last one is a girl, who in all means creeps me the fuck out and I can't do much about her as she rarely comes around but when she does, she gets kinda loud, very touchy and very personal. Back in March, I introduced my friend (I am so sorry friend if you're reading this, Im sorry for the hell I have brought upon you) to the club, and first thing she does is sit on his lap (for no reason) and touch and prod him which made him very,very uncomfortable. Heck just last week, I was busy drawing and minding my buisness until all of a sudden, she goes up to me, kisses my cheek and 'nuzzles' it like a cat would.
All I could do was sit there with a blank face, but internally I was screaming like my poor icon.
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2014
Back in the day I had a few personal lolcows, though they didn't feel like lolcows at the time. I went to the shittiest school in England and, being Autistic, I had to have a few "helpers" who were pretty much there to piss me off and treat me like I was a bad kid and stuff. But there was this one particular helper who really grinded my gears. She looked kinda like nuttymadam only with longer hair. In fact I'll refer to her as nuttymadam's secret twin, and she was the most power-hungry lunatic you could imagine. She wouldn't let me talk to my friends, I always had to do my work with her assistance and I had to take her insults in the behind constantly. And I wasn't the only person who was being treated like this, apparently TONS of parents had complained to the school about her but, of course, it was never dealt with.
So one day our Physics teacher asks us to make a presentation. And this teacher uses TONS of humour in his presentations, so I wanted to emulate that. I'm about halfway through when nuttymadam's secret twin barks out "HOW FAR HAVE YOU GOTTEN?" and starts looking through it. She then looked at me with a scolding sort of look and told me that she didn't think it was good because of the fact that I'd tried to put some funny stuff into it. This was enough to push me over the edge. I called the teacher over to take a look at it, and he told me that it was a great presentation with great humour.
The helper didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, and I savoured every moment of her rage.
So one day our Physics teacher asks us to make a presentation. And this teacher uses TONS of humour in his presentations, so I wanted to emulate that. I'm about halfway through when nuttymadam's secret twin barks out "HOW FAR HAVE YOU GOTTEN?" and starts looking through it. She then looked at me with a scolding sort of look and told me that she didn't think it was good because of the fact that I'd tried to put some funny stuff into it. This was enough to push me over the edge. I called the teacher over to take a look at it, and he told me that it was a great presentation with great humour.
The helper didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, and I savoured every moment of her rage.
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
I have a personal story to tell and its a bit of a long one. This was something that happened when I was in high school, in one of my study halls specifically.
Due to my weakness in algebra, I was put in a remedial study hall so I could get math help from some of the teachers there. Just for the record, I was just sort of bad with numbers. I wasn't in danger of flunking out of math by any means. Anyways, this was the kind of study hall where all of the kids who did really poorly in all of their classes got deposited. It was skid-row as far as study halls went and it really showed. I saw my fair share of autistics, people who didn't try, and people that were failing for other unspecified reasons. Most of the people there were pretty pleasant. There was the occasional jerk-off or illiterate thug that treated you with utter disdain for no reason, but most of the people there were perfectly friendly. A bit weird and troubled, sure, but friendly.
However, there was this one girl. I'd rather not drop her name here so I'll just refer to her as the "The Redhead," my internal nickname for her back in the day. The Redhead was a junior but she had already flunked the grade once. As her name suggests, she did indeed have red hair. She wasn't half-bad looking but her looks were sharply contrasted by her personality. Of all the people in that room, she was the most consistently unpleasant due to how frequently her mood fluctuated. She was frequently angry and short-tempered and had a tendency to shout at people and cuss for no reason. When she was calm she was surprisingly amiable but that was infrequent. She was also an extremely zealous Lutheran, a fact that she made mention of frequently. There were a lot of Lutherans at my school and they were generally pretty cool. She was by far the least likable of the lot.
She fought with people frequently but there is one occasion that I'll always remember. I remember it primarily because I was on the receiving end of her wrath on that day.
It had been a largely unremarkable day in February. The period was about half over when I overheard the Redhead conversing unhappily with one of the teachers about an assignment she had in her Government class (It was the Government support class IIRC). The assignment had been to conceive your own law and to explain the nature of it. The Redhead was upset with the '23/25' grade she had gotten on it and had been going on for awhile about how her teacher secretly hated her.
I had been walking over to the other side of the room to ask one of the teachers about fractions or something when the Redhead asked me to come over. I reluctantly walked over to her and she said "Hey [My real name], you know stuff about the government, right?" I sort of did given my interest in history and politics. As she soon explained, she had wanted to introduce a law that forbid the homos from being able to get married. She naturally cited Leviticus 18:22 as being her basis for this. Her government teacher had written on the paper, in legible red ink, the phrase "1st amendment doesn't allow this." She asked me if I could figure out what her teacher had meant by that.
At this point I was desperately trying to get out of this conversation because I knew 1) she wouldn't like my explanation and 2) I didn't like talking about wedge issues like gay marriage. She had me cornered though and my attempts to shuffle away were in vein. I then calmly tried to explain that laws based on religion were unconstitutional due to the first amendment saying that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." I stated that as she had cited the bible as her basis for her anti-homo law, it wouldn't be able to pass.
Her distinctive "Uncontrollable rage" face started to appear and she started barking about how homos were evil and that I was being an aide to their evil ways by opposing her fictional law. Mind you, I lived in a pretty small rural town so fanatics like her were common. I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to insult her or anything like that but she kept getting more and more perturbed. This was the point where shit started to get really crazy. She started yelling that I was conspiring against her. She called me, among other things, an idiot, a homo, an instigator and, I kid you not, a "goddamned promiscuous Bible-burning Catholic." How she knew that I came from a Catholic family is beyond me. She might have noted that [My real name] is French but I think that would be giving her way too much credit. Her knowledge of religion was almost as tenuous as Chris'.
At that point she was screaming her head off and a couple of the teachers stepped in. She started yelling at them and they had to grab her by her arms and drag her out of the room. At that point I was bewildered, scared, amazed and kind of disturbed so I just went back to doing math. No one had ever freaked out at me like that in school before and it really astounded me I recall. There was a rather uneasy silence in the air for the rest of the period. After that day, she never said another word to me. She glanced at me occasionally from across the room but never with any real emotion on her face. I moved after that school year ended and I don't know what's become of her since then. It's a sad deal really. I think she must have had bipolar disorder or some kind of similar illness.
However, there was this one girl. I'd rather not drop her name here so I'll just refer to her as the "The Redhead," my internal nickname for her back in the day. The Redhead was a junior but she had already flunked the grade once. As her name suggests, she did indeed have red hair. She wasn't half-bad looking but her looks were sharply contrasted by her personality. Of all the people in that room, she was the most consistently unpleasant due to how frequently her mood fluctuated. She was frequently angry and short-tempered and had a tendency to shout at people and cuss for no reason. When she was calm she was surprisingly amiable but that was infrequent. She was also an extremely zealous Lutheran, a fact that she made mention of frequently. There were a lot of Lutherans at my school and they were generally pretty cool. She was by far the least likable of the lot.
She fought with people frequently but there is one occasion that I'll always remember. I remember it primarily because I was on the receiving end of her wrath on that day.
It had been a largely unremarkable day in February. The period was about half over when I overheard the Redhead conversing unhappily with one of the teachers about an assignment she had in her Government class (It was the Government support class IIRC). The assignment had been to conceive your own law and to explain the nature of it. The Redhead was upset with the '23/25' grade she had gotten on it and had been going on for awhile about how her teacher secretly hated her.
I had been walking over to the other side of the room to ask one of the teachers about fractions or something when the Redhead asked me to come over. I reluctantly walked over to her and she said "Hey [My real name], you know stuff about the government, right?" I sort of did given my interest in history and politics. As she soon explained, she had wanted to introduce a law that forbid the homos from being able to get married. She naturally cited Leviticus 18:22 as being her basis for this. Her government teacher had written on the paper, in legible red ink, the phrase "1st amendment doesn't allow this." She asked me if I could figure out what her teacher had meant by that.
At this point I was desperately trying to get out of this conversation because I knew 1) she wouldn't like my explanation and 2) I didn't like talking about wedge issues like gay marriage. She had me cornered though and my attempts to shuffle away were in vein. I then calmly tried to explain that laws based on religion were unconstitutional due to the first amendment saying that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." I stated that as she had cited the bible as her basis for her anti-homo law, it wouldn't be able to pass.
Her distinctive "Uncontrollable rage" face started to appear and she started barking about how homos were evil and that I was being an aide to their evil ways by opposing her fictional law. Mind you, I lived in a pretty small rural town so fanatics like her were common. I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to insult her or anything like that but she kept getting more and more perturbed. This was the point where shit started to get really crazy. She started yelling that I was conspiring against her. She called me, among other things, an idiot, a homo, an instigator and, I kid you not, a "goddamned promiscuous Bible-burning Catholic." How she knew that I came from a Catholic family is beyond me. She might have noted that [My real name] is French but I think that would be giving her way too much credit. Her knowledge of religion was almost as tenuous as Chris'.
At that point she was screaming her head off and a couple of the teachers stepped in. She started yelling at them and they had to grab her by her arms and drag her out of the room. At that point I was bewildered, scared, amazed and kind of disturbed so I just went back to doing math. No one had ever freaked out at me like that in school before and it really astounded me I recall. There was a rather uneasy silence in the air for the rest of the period. After that day, she never said another word to me. She glanced at me occasionally from across the room but never with any real emotion on her face. I moved after that school year ended and I don't know what's become of her since then. It's a sad deal really. I think she must have had bipolar disorder or some kind of similar illness.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Then you'd probably find the Mises Institute rather lolzy to the point that they can become a parody of themselves at times.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2014
I'm now thoroughly convinced that my personal lolcow is what Chris-chan would've become if he was actually born female; one with an addiction to cosplay. A month or two ago I learned that one of her brothers worked in the same place I did, and he turned out to be the most normal one out of that dysfunctional family of theirs. He's already told me a bit about his sister, particularly her poor money management skills and how she treats everyone else in the family, as well as her own living spaces (read: like the cat shit she doesn't pick up).
Before anyone asks, she's not in the autism spectrum, or at least she never had a former diagnosis as far as I know. The kids in the family have been diagnosed with sensory integration disorder (too tired to google it), however. I wouldn't doubt her having NPD that is being enabled by their mother, who spent most of their lives treating her like she had a genuine mental handicap according to my co-worker.
- Despite working two jobs, she's already behind on rent in her newest apartment that she moved into a couple months ago because she's putting nearly all of her earnings towards fabric for new cosplays, plane trips to anime conventions that are halfway across the country from where we live, and plastic crap. She bragged on Facebook about the Sailor Moon wand she got as a prop for her cosplay that was handmade and cost $250+, and I've seen photos of several resin statues that she keeps in her room. She was also couch-surfing between friends' places for a while because she was evicted from her previous apartment for....not paying rent. She also has a storage unit that she's also behind on the $200/month to keep it. I didn't ask what she was keeping in there, but I wouldn't doubt that she's keeping more cosplay-related things in there.
- She always had poor housekeeping habits even when she still lived with her parents and I still hung out with her. I rarely saw the floor of her room when I came over, and at least once I've stepped on something on the floor that was sharp enough to draw blood. Fast forward to when she had to move out the aforementioned apartment she got evicted from, she made her brothers move her stuff out and clean up the place. They got chewed up by fleas that were brought in by a roommate's 10+ cats and they found plates that still had old food on them under her covers of her bed. Those were the only details he gave me so far, but I'm sure there was more where that came from.
- She goes weeks without scooping out the litter box for her one cat. To the point where there's a brick of condensed cat piss and shit in the box, and the cat ends up pissing and shitting everywhere else, including her belongings and clothes that she never picks up off the floor. Her brother (my co-worker) bought her an automatic litter box so that she didn't have to worry about cleaning the cat box as often and keep the place smelling nice. Months later she hasn't even taken it out of the box.
- She has a history of asking for handouts from whomever would listen to her. The family got together for Thanksgiving this year, at least those that still lived in the area. The parents split up a couple years ago after their dad, a former NFL coach, filed for bankruptcy and moved out of the state. The four kids dispersed too, one of them leaving the country altogether to live with his long-distance wife, but all that's a story in itself. Anyway, one of the first things she says to her brother is ask if he could move her stuff out of the storage unit I mentioned earlier and into the storage unit their mom has. She's also guilted her brothers into giving her rides to and from work even if it's 1 AM.
- She always had poor housekeeping habits even when she still lived with her parents and I still hung out with her. I rarely saw the floor of her room when I came over, and at least once I've stepped on something on the floor that was sharp enough to draw blood. Fast forward to when she had to move out the aforementioned apartment she got evicted from, she made her brothers move her stuff out and clean up the place. They got chewed up by fleas that were brought in by a roommate's 10+ cats and they found plates that still had old food on them under her covers of her bed. Those were the only details he gave me so far, but I'm sure there was more where that came from.
- She goes weeks without scooping out the litter box for her one cat. To the point where there's a brick of condensed cat piss and shit in the box, and the cat ends up pissing and shitting everywhere else, including her belongings and clothes that she never picks up off the floor. Her brother (my co-worker) bought her an automatic litter box so that she didn't have to worry about cleaning the cat box as often and keep the place smelling nice. Months later she hasn't even taken it out of the box.
- She has a history of asking for handouts from whomever would listen to her. The family got together for Thanksgiving this year, at least those that still lived in the area. The parents split up a couple years ago after their dad, a former NFL coach, filed for bankruptcy and moved out of the state. The four kids dispersed too, one of them leaving the country altogether to live with his long-distance wife, but all that's a story in itself. Anyway, one of the first things she says to her brother is ask if he could move her stuff out of the storage unit I mentioned earlier and into the storage unit their mom has. She's also guilted her brothers into giving her rides to and from work even if it's 1 AM.
Before anyone asks, she's not in the autism spectrum, or at least she never had a former diagnosis as far as I know. The kids in the family have been diagnosed with sensory integration disorder (too tired to google it), however. I wouldn't doubt her having NPD that is being enabled by their mother, who spent most of their lives treating her like she had a genuine mental handicap according to my co-worker.
- Joined
- May 10, 2014
It's worth noting that sensory integration disorder/sensory processing disorder is incredibly common among autistics. I have both autism and SPD myself, and most of my autistic friends and family have similar difficulties.
Also, apparently it's pretty rarely given as a diagnosis on its own, since it's so often comorbid with other conditions.
I'unno, just thought that was worth noting. She doesn't sound autistic necessarily, to be fair, but if she has SPD there's a good chance she is. (And executive functioning difficulties--such as difficulty managing money--are pretty common among autistic people as well.)
Diagnosis (or diagnoses) aside, she sounds like a fucking terror.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2014
It's worth noting that sensory integration disorder/sensory processing disorder is incredibly common among autistics. I have both autism and SPD myself, and most of my autistic friends and family have similar difficulties.
Also, apparently it's pretty rarely given as a diagnosis on its own, since it's so often comorbid with other conditions.
I'unno, just thought that was worth noting. She doesn't sound autistic necessarily, to be fair, but if she has SPD there's a good chance she is. (And executive functioning difficulties--such as difficulty managing money--are pretty common among autistic people as well.)
Diagnosis (or diagnoses) aside, she sounds like a fucking terror.
I forgot to mention that in the past she used her diagnosis as an excuse for her nasty attitude (why does that sound familiar?), while her brother seemed to have done a far better job learning coping skills for his. I remembered that she always used the phrase "Remember my disorder" when I tried to call her out on treating me like crap (another story for another time), and their mom had used similar phrases before as well. All of that seems to support my belief that their mom really coddled and kid-gloved my personal lolcow.
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2014
It's been so long since I've seen this. Even now I can't help but laugh at him for losing his bucks!
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2013
Five bucks says she's either: a) a deeply-closeted lesbian; b) a survivor of sexual molestation by another female; or c) both. The partisan, over-the-top religious fanaticism also suggests these possibilities.
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
I just remembered a couple more slightly less tragic lolcows I knew back in the day. I shall describe them as such.
I always speculated that that may have been the case but I never found out for sure. My theory was always mental illness, a bad home life and an unhealthy interpretation of the scriptures.
I was in student-hosted TV production club back when I was a junior. It was a low-key kind of club that most people didn't know about. It was sort of a school-hosted thing and it sort of wasn't. Its specification was always a bit unclear. Basically, we produced a talk show that no one watched but it was a fun process putting it together.
Most of the club's occupants, including myself, were weird and a little unhinged. But there was this one guy on the cast, this one fucking guy. I'm going to refer to him as "That Guy" because that's what he was. He was slightly younger than I was and it showed. He was vulgar, devious, loud, bad-tempered, petulant and he smelled bad. He mostly hung out with the freshmen girls on set, who were similarly useless, and contributed dick-all to the production of the show. He was by far the worst person on the cast. No one on set, and I mean no one, liked him. He was always insulting people, spouting self-aggrandizing nonsense, making crass sex jokes and generally being an asshole to everyone.
I vaguely recall this one really awful occasion involving him and this one younger teacher who helped run things on set. That Guy walked over to her and, I shit you not, started trying to make conversation with her about fanservice in anime (I believe he mentioned Naruto or something shitty like that). The teacher chick was young and kind of into anime but that fact did nothing to alleviate the sheer creepiness of the scene. That Guy was just going on and on about the sex appeal of characters and the poor teacher chick was just staring at him uneasily trying not to let on that she was creeped out. I distinctly remember the studio lights reflecting off the accumulated sweat and grease on That Guy's face.
I never saw that teacher chick again. I stopped going to the club about a month after that happened because I was sick of working on the show. It was something of a mixture of having to stay up late on Fridays, having to be crammed in a shitty studio full of shitty old equipment, no one ever watching the show we produced, and having to be around That Guy for long periods of time. I don't know what became of him in the meantime. I heard that he had to transfer to another high school because he had pissed off the wrong people at his old one.
Most of the club's occupants, including myself, were weird and a little unhinged. But there was this one guy on the cast, this one fucking guy. I'm going to refer to him as "That Guy" because that's what he was. He was slightly younger than I was and it showed. He was vulgar, devious, loud, bad-tempered, petulant and he smelled bad. He mostly hung out with the freshmen girls on set, who were similarly useless, and contributed dick-all to the production of the show. He was by far the worst person on the cast. No one on set, and I mean no one, liked him. He was always insulting people, spouting self-aggrandizing nonsense, making crass sex jokes and generally being an asshole to everyone.
I vaguely recall this one really awful occasion involving him and this one younger teacher who helped run things on set. That Guy walked over to her and, I shit you not, started trying to make conversation with her about fanservice in anime (I believe he mentioned Naruto or something shitty like that). The teacher chick was young and kind of into anime but that fact did nothing to alleviate the sheer creepiness of the scene. That Guy was just going on and on about the sex appeal of characters and the poor teacher chick was just staring at him uneasily trying not to let on that she was creeped out. I distinctly remember the studio lights reflecting off the accumulated sweat and grease on That Guy's face.
I never saw that teacher chick again. I stopped going to the club about a month after that happened because I was sick of working on the show. It was something of a mixture of having to stay up late on Fridays, having to be crammed in a shitty studio full of shitty old equipment, no one ever watching the show we produced, and having to be around That Guy for long periods of time. I don't know what became of him in the meantime. I heard that he had to transfer to another high school because he had pissed off the wrong people at his old one.
In the high school popularity hierarchy at my school, me and my friends liked to refer to the bottom-most caste of people as the "syphilitics." The guys in this group were the the dredges of our high school in the truest sense of the word. They were all the lecherous, unpleasant, obnoxious cretins that were maligned and shunned by the rest of the school. I might sound like an elitist saying that but they really were the worst people you could come by at our school. They were all either creeps or assholes or both.
Naturally, there was this one guy who possessed all of the awful traits of the syphilitic caste. He was a greasy fat bastard who wore the same clothes all the time and almost always had an exposed butt crack. He was also an amoral, perverted, fiendish oaf who was an obsessive fan of almost any cartoon you can be an obsessive fan of. I had the misfortune of having to sit next to him in one of my classes. He discovered that I was aware of what MLP was (I was a casual fan of the show at the time, I'm not anymore) and I never heard the end of him sperging out about it. Not about the show of course, but rather the folder of pornography he kept on his desktop of his shitty laptop. He tried to tell everyone about this of course, which is probably one of the big reasons he was in the syphilis caste in the first place.
One day he somehow found out who my girlfriend was, a fact that disturbed me greatly. He said that he was planning on talking to her about me because I would never reveal any information about myself to him. I knew how he was with girls. He always made sure to bring up something sexual in nature in conversation and he always creeped them out a lot. I was horrified at first but then I got really livid. I told him not to talk to her and when he kept insisting that he would in an curiously Nick Bate-esque fashion, I told him that I'd kick his fat arse if he tried anything. He backed down after that but he still tried to pester me about whatever perverse topic was on his mind.
Christ, I hated that guy. What a bastard he was. That was about as angry as I ever got at someone in school. I like to think that I'm usually a pretty calm person so it was unusual to say the least. He never did interact with my girlfriend thankfully.
Naturally, there was this one guy who possessed all of the awful traits of the syphilitic caste. He was a greasy fat bastard who wore the same clothes all the time and almost always had an exposed butt crack. He was also an amoral, perverted, fiendish oaf who was an obsessive fan of almost any cartoon you can be an obsessive fan of. I had the misfortune of having to sit next to him in one of my classes. He discovered that I was aware of what MLP was (I was a casual fan of the show at the time, I'm not anymore) and I never heard the end of him sperging out about it. Not about the show of course, but rather the folder of pornography he kept on his desktop of his shitty laptop. He tried to tell everyone about this of course, which is probably one of the big reasons he was in the syphilis caste in the first place.
One day he somehow found out who my girlfriend was, a fact that disturbed me greatly. He said that he was planning on talking to her about me because I would never reveal any information about myself to him. I knew how he was with girls. He always made sure to bring up something sexual in nature in conversation and he always creeped them out a lot. I was horrified at first but then I got really livid. I told him not to talk to her and when he kept insisting that he would in an curiously Nick Bate-esque fashion, I told him that I'd kick his fat arse if he tried anything. He backed down after that but he still tried to pester me about whatever perverse topic was on his mind.
Christ, I hated that guy. What a bastard he was. That was about as angry as I ever got at someone in school. I like to think that I'm usually a pretty calm person so it was unusual to say the least. He never did interact with my girlfriend thankfully.
I always speculated that that may have been the case but I never found out for sure. My theory was always mental illness, a bad home life and an unhealthy interpretation of the scriptures.
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2014
A friend on my forum just showed some of this guy's clips during movie night. They were so creepy and weird that I had to ask if they were a parody. Apparently not; this guy's been doing random 'fandubs' of sections of Disney movies for a while, and he's got a TON of them. Just type in 'disneyfandub98' and he will be crawling all over the google results. Sadly, I can't find anything other than his videos and youtube and Google+ account.
His mic hardly ever works, and he adds in his own sound effects all the time. Just ... keep the volume down if you look at any of these.
Nevermind, got sent more and found someone even better...
http://bizarrocentral.com/2013/01/08/twisted-tuesdays-gumbymans-youtube-descent-into-madness/
His mic hardly ever works, and he adds in his own sound effects all the time. Just ... keep the volume down if you look at any of these.
Nevermind, got sent more and found someone even better...
http://bizarrocentral.com/2013/01/08/twisted-tuesdays-gumbymans-youtube-descent-into-madness/
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