Juggalo Jesus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2014
Shit. This dude is 30 shades of crazy.
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
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Shit. This dude is 30 shades of crazy.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
I was talking to Porn Dad's son recently. He told me Porn Dad talks to himself in the middle of the night while taking a piss. Recently, he said something along the lines of "Well, the Redskins sure aren't going to win the Super Bowl this year" (he's a Vikings fan) along with saying that he misses fucking his mail order bride who left him.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
How can you be a communist and be anti-state? Holy shitfuck, I think I might have fun with this one.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
How can you be a communist and be anti-state? Holy shitfuck, I think I might have fun with this one.
http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
He's like a poor man's Ahuviya Harel. Speaking of being poor, he's probably lamenting the fact that he can't afford a one way ticket to North Korea.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2014
So wait, let me get these political beliefs straight. He promotes Communism, but he hates Nazis. Yet he lists that he's pro socialist...does he know what the term "Nazi" was short for? Also he's pro democracy, yet he endorses as system that is essentially an extreme autocracy. Anti attorcity and anti war? Does he know of the Chinese government's involvement in the Rwandan gennocide? What about the Vietnam War and the Fall of Saigon? His beliefs have more holes than Swiss cheese...
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Wow, 2edgy4me.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
Not that I'm defending the guy, but you sound like a Fox News pundit. The Nazi's exterminated communists and invaded the USSR. The National Socialist party is socialist like North Korea is the People's Democratic Republic of Korea.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2014
Sorry, I didn't mean to come off that way if I did (though for the record I don't watch nor care for Fox News). I just think its stupid how this guy gets paranoid about Nazis but then says he's pro-socialism in big capital letters in addition to being pro communism. It came off to me like this guy didn't even know what Nazi meant beyond "really evil people who are evil for its own sake". That being said, I am aware of the difference between what Nazis said they were and what they really were. Truthfully I could've worded that a little better at the time I made the post. Sperg over
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2014
Alright, though I'd add my own personal lolcow to the mix. Guy goes by "Mike Kidgrave" (as in a child's grave), believes he's some kind of hardcore metalhead. I've got to grant it to the guy, he's not bad looking, but his entire entourage, his persona, and everything I'm about to get into is just so ridiculous.
I'm sure many of you have come across people that are way into the MBTI personality test. For those less familiar, it's a personality test that measures you on four axes: introvert/extrovert, intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, judging/perceiving. If you're curious, there are lots of websites that give simple explanations. My personal opinion on MBTI is that there may be some truth to it, but in practice, people have started to use it in the same way they used horoscopes thirty years ago. This just has a veneer of science to it, so people have latched onto it.
Anyway, Kidgrave identifies as ENTJ, and admins a Facebook group for people who are "intuitive thinkers". In order to keep the group alive, he trolls other MBTI groups and invites people to his group at random (which is why the membership count is so high), as well as posts random questions with the follow-up "Say your type!" One disturbingly frequent question has been whether you have tasted your own bodily fluids, and then to state your type.
Periodically, Kidgrave will ban someone from the group, usually not undeserved, but almost always the breaking point has been when said person calls Kidgrave out on something in a thread. This has led to a not-infrequent outcry from other members, demanding that he either hand over administration of the group, or that he add more admins to balance things out (the only admins are his younger sister, who founded the group, and his girlfriend, who he met in the group). Both sides are, honestly, pretty autistic.
I've also had the guy confide to me that he frequently makes shill accounts on Facebook to hit on girls in the groups, especially making female accounts to flirt with the lesbian admin of a competing MBTI group. And he definitely creeps on just about every girl in the group. It's more or less used as his personal harem... though to my knowledge he's friendzoned by 99+% of them.
So basically, he's autistic for this MBTI shit, but uses it to talk to women.
Anyway, here's his look:
I'm sure many of you have come across people that are way into the MBTI personality test. For those less familiar, it's a personality test that measures you on four axes: introvert/extrovert, intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, judging/perceiving. If you're curious, there are lots of websites that give simple explanations. My personal opinion on MBTI is that there may be some truth to it, but in practice, people have started to use it in the same way they used horoscopes thirty years ago. This just has a veneer of science to it, so people have latched onto it.
Anyway, Kidgrave identifies as ENTJ, and admins a Facebook group for people who are "intuitive thinkers". In order to keep the group alive, he trolls other MBTI groups and invites people to his group at random (which is why the membership count is so high), as well as posts random questions with the follow-up "Say your type!" One disturbingly frequent question has been whether you have tasted your own bodily fluids, and then to state your type.
Periodically, Kidgrave will ban someone from the group, usually not undeserved, but almost always the breaking point has been when said person calls Kidgrave out on something in a thread. This has led to a not-infrequent outcry from other members, demanding that he either hand over administration of the group, or that he add more admins to balance things out (the only admins are his younger sister, who founded the group, and his girlfriend, who he met in the group). Both sides are, honestly, pretty autistic.
I've also had the guy confide to me that he frequently makes shill accounts on Facebook to hit on girls in the groups, especially making female accounts to flirt with the lesbian admin of a competing MBTI group. And he definitely creeps on just about every girl in the group. It's more or less used as his personal harem... though to my knowledge he's friendzoned by 99+% of them.
So basically, he's autistic for this MBTI shit, but uses it to talk to women.
Anyway, here's his look:
Juggalo Jesus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2014
Alright, though I'd add my own personal lolcow to the mix. Guy goes by "Mike Kidgrave" (as in a child's grave), believes he's some kind of hardcore metalhead. I've got to grant it to the guy, he's not bad looking, but his entire entourage, his persona, and everything I'm about to get into is just so ridiculous.
I'm sure many of you have come across people that are way into the MBTI personality test. For those less familiar, it's a personality test that measures you on four axes: introvert/extrovert, intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, judging/perceiving. If you're curious, there are lots of websites that give simple explanations. My personal opinion on MBTI is that there may be some truth to it, but in practice, people have started to use it in the same way they used horoscopes thirty years ago. This just has a veneer of science to it, so people have latched onto it.
Anyway, Kidgrave identifies as ENTJ, and admins a Facebook group for people who are "intuitive thinkers". In order to keep the group alive, he trolls other MBTI groups and invites people to his group at random (which is why the membership count is so high), as well as posts random questions with the follow-up "Say your type!" One disturbingly frequent question has been whether you have tasted your own bodily fluids, and then to state your type.
Periodically, Kidgrave will ban someone from the group, usually not undeserved, but almost always the breaking point has been when said person calls Kidgrave out on something in a thread. This has led to a not-infrequent outcry from other members, demanding that he either hand over administration of the group, or that he add more admins to balance things out (the only admins are his younger sister, who founded the group, and his girlfriend, who he met in the group). Both sides are, honestly, pretty autistic.
I've also had the guy confide to me that he frequently makes shill accounts on Facebook to hit on girls in the groups, especially making female accounts to flirt with the lesbian admin of a competing MBTI group. And he definitely creeps on just about every girl in the group. It's more or less used as his personal harem... though to my knowledge he's friendzoned by 99+% of them.
So basically, he's autistic for this MBTI shit, but uses it to talk to women.
Anyway, here's his look:
Dude looks like a reject from a Twisted Sister cover band.
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2014
Oh wow. This guy broke up with his online girlfriend because she was bi. Then made a thread in his personal FB group explaining the whole thing as her lying to him and deceiving him about her sexuality. A lot of irritated posts followed, though I think they all missed the opportunities to wind him up.
I really hadn't followed this guy's shenanigans for a good year or two, but it looks like he's only getting more autistic with age.
I really hadn't followed this guy's shenanigans for a good year or two, but it looks like he's only getting more autistic with age.
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- Joined
- Sep 6, 2013
There's this one guy in the Power Rangers fandom who is desperate to defend the Neo-Saban seasons (Samurai-Megaforce). Dude is frustrating as fuck to deal with. Basically, it goes something like this.
1) People are debating the merits of said seasons.
2) He jumps in on their defense.
3) He starts going on about how "other seasons had those problems" and "how they aren't a big deal." I've seen him try to use his own personal fanfiction as proof that "they aren't a big deal." Troll logic and ignoring context are also common.
4) People try to debate him on this. He repeats the same damn points over and over and over.
5) After a while, he will get insanely defensive and try to play the victim. He sometimes whines that it's only on "this" board people give him a hard time, so it's us not him.
6) People call him out on his behavior and he quits after one last whine. Even people on his side will tell him he's not helping the case. Shuts up for awhile and then comes back and the process will repeat, usually over the same damn issues.
He used to plug the podcast he participates in until mods told him to knock it off. My favorite moment dealing with this guy was after I argued the current direction (heavily targeting preschoolers in spite of the Y-7 rating) was bad in the long run, as it would alienate children sooner. There was more to it than that, but I'm not going to bore you with the specifics. This guy comes in, saying he watched a bunch of children enjoy a fan-panned episode at a relative's birthday party. Used it again to defend some other controversial element later on (I believe it was the usage of non-adapted sentai, where he said kids loved it). Now, either he's making this up (he says he teaches Japanese people English when his spelling/grammar is horrible), or he watched the episodes with the children in plain site of other adults (he specified their reactions to controversial elements). He's in his 20s, btw.
Another big moment was when the synopsis for the final 5 episodes of Super Megaforce came out. This is a guy who screams "You can't judge something you haven't watched." People were disappointed because the disjointed and this guy even went "yeah, it's going to suck." Before he would go on about how Megaforce was the best series ever, then he sounded so defeated. I wondered if he finally broke. Next day, he was screaming "you can't judge it yet" at the top of his lungs,
1) People are debating the merits of said seasons.
2) He jumps in on their defense.
3) He starts going on about how "other seasons had those problems" and "how they aren't a big deal." I've seen him try to use his own personal fanfiction as proof that "they aren't a big deal." Troll logic and ignoring context are also common.
4) People try to debate him on this. He repeats the same damn points over and over and over.
5) After a while, he will get insanely defensive and try to play the victim. He sometimes whines that it's only on "this" board people give him a hard time, so it's us not him.
6) People call him out on his behavior and he quits after one last whine. Even people on his side will tell him he's not helping the case. Shuts up for awhile and then comes back and the process will repeat, usually over the same damn issues.
He used to plug the podcast he participates in until mods told him to knock it off. My favorite moment dealing with this guy was after I argued the current direction (heavily targeting preschoolers in spite of the Y-7 rating) was bad in the long run, as it would alienate children sooner. There was more to it than that, but I'm not going to bore you with the specifics. This guy comes in, saying he watched a bunch of children enjoy a fan-panned episode at a relative's birthday party. Used it again to defend some other controversial element later on (I believe it was the usage of non-adapted sentai, where he said kids loved it). Now, either he's making this up (he says he teaches Japanese people English when his spelling/grammar is horrible), or he watched the episodes with the children in plain site of other adults (he specified their reactions to controversial elements). He's in his 20s, btw.
Another big moment was when the synopsis for the final 5 episodes of Super Megaforce came out. This is a guy who screams "You can't judge something you haven't watched." People were disappointed because the disjointed and this guy even went "yeah, it's going to suck." Before he would go on about how Megaforce was the best series ever, then he sounded so defeated. I wondered if he finally broke. Next day, he was screaming "you can't judge it yet" at the top of his lungs,
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CowboyCrocket
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2014
One person that comes to mind for me is a guy I remember hosting an art jam on DA. Honestly the person's art is no good. I' am not a master artist but this guy has unappealing art to look at. So anyway while his art jam is under way someone posts an entry. The guy hosting it said "ok but I want to see real effort from you". I thought that was a mean spirited thing to say. If he offered some advice on how to approve I can understand that but the way he said it to him was out of the blue and ridiculous since the jam host has terrible art skills. Also while not a great piece, the art he criticized as "effortless" honestly looked better then the majority of stuff in his gallery.
I should also add this guy has a big head thinking he's going to own a cartoon studio even though he's pretty much in his early 30s and has not shown any improvement in his 10 year art portfolio. In fact a friend of mine said he's one of the few people he's come across that has regressed in art instead of improved.
I should also add this guy has a big head thinking he's going to own a cartoon studio even though he's pretty much in his early 30s and has not shown any improvement in his 10 year art portfolio. In fact a friend of mine said he's one of the few people he's come across that has regressed in art instead of improved.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Mmph. I just remembered this incident from back in the late 90s at my local newspaper. As tradition, a photographer goes to the local high school graduations, and takes candids of the kids getting ready for graduation, after graduation, etc. Well, one year, a bunch of white people thought that the photojournalists took too many pics of black students, and hounded the newspaper's "Feedback" column for days about it. The letters to the editor too. Shit got to bad, that the newspaper even held a public discussion about it. I wish i knew the outcome of it, but I was too young to go.
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2014
My downstairs neighbors are my new lolcows. At least the mother is. They're a family of five with three children and a nasty little ratdog. The children always struck me as weird because they never go outside, but when they do they're very quiet and well behaved. I'm grateful they aren't loud and obnoxious since our last neighbors were screaming drunks who who throw up on our stairs and bang on the walls screaming to try and get a reaction out of us.
It's been about a year now, and the entire family still never goes outside. Like, ever. They went out on their scooters in the summer just to go back and forth on the sidewalk from the curb to their porch, never over to the park across the street. The kids are two boys around 6 and the girl is maybe 9 or 10. They had a bunch of toys strewn out on the porch like they were getting ready to play with them until the mother took over the porch with rotten garbage and cigarettes.
She's a chain smoker. I always hear her tossing and slamming the door every time she goes outside. She stays out there to smoke and ignore you if you say hello to her. Sometimes she'll actually greet you back, but it's rare. When they arrived here (they're from Georgia) she always went to the park with the kids and husband, but now she stays inside all day, smokes outside, and screams at the kids. Any time I'm out on my porch I hear their back door open and this overwhelming stench just comes up to my balcony. It's not even her smoking, it smells like sulfur. My sister noticed it when it was raining once and told me it always smells like that when she's out. I couldn't believe it. I've been out long enough when she finishes her smoke breaks to be able to just tell the air stops smelling like rotten eggs once she goes back inside. She also stays at home, has no job, but doesn't cook (She always yells at the kids when they're not 'doing it right' any time they leave the back door open for the world to hear them and see their hoarding lair), clean up the house or the piles of doggie bags littering the porch (they got a warning for this but the bags are slowly coming back, making a stew in a trash can from the recent rain), water the plants, pick up the kids from school, get the mail from the office, walk the dog, or do the laundry. The husband had torn something in his leg so he had to wear a huge boot and crutches, and he did all of these activities even after the boot came off. I helped him with the laundry basket once because he had dropped it and couldn't bend down to pick it up, the backdoor was still open, and the wife was just sitting on the couch watching TV. She only looked over to look suspicious of me like I was trying to impose on her lair.
One day my sister and I heard screaming. Full-blown angry screaming. I can't ever hear anyone from downstairs when they're inside but I could make out every word she was saying. Apparently the daughter had come home early and didn't get dressed for the carnival. The mom came home with the boys, which one of them was carrying three lunch boxes and two backpacks while the other carried groceries. The boy with the school bags dropped a lunchbox and couldn't bend over to pick it up across the street so he was trying to kick it forward. She snarled, "STOP THAT! WHAT DO YA THINK YER DOIN'?!" at him and didn't try to pick it up for him. She was only carrying her purse and house keys. Once she got inside she was screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!... CHANGE YER CLOTHES!... THE CARNIVAL, DAMNIT! STOP WASTIN' MY TIME, YOU THINK WE GOT ALL DAY?!" She then stormed outside, banging the porch door. The girl had gone outside to get something from the van that she needed because of course her mom couldn't carry a single thing aside from her purse. The girl closed and opened the door soundlessly and I realized all the door banging is from her, not the kids. I said hello to the husband once when he was coming back from the office, their back door was open, and she snapped at him, "Where have YOU been?!" He paused and answered, "Uhh.. the mail?" he noticed I was still coming up the stairs to my apartment so he closed the door.
She also is home all day and leaves the Chihuahua in a bedroom. It barks and snarls at anyone within a five mile radius so instead of just training it to have better behavior she locks it in a bedroom below me so it can bark in there for hours when the family wants to leave the back door open during nice weather. They also have learned to only walk the dog when there's no one else around because it seems content to try lunging for your ankles.
The dad comes home and plays video games all day. I can tell because he's deaf as hell apparently and makes the walls shake with his giant surround sound system. The kids stay in their bedroom all day playing or doing homework and are only outside when they're coming home from school. They don't ever play outside on the scooters anymore and I noticed most of their porch toys were piled in the same trash can as the doggie bags.
The dad seemed to have gotten the whole family to do a major cleaning of the house once, when they were throwing out a ton of garbage. The sulfur smell and garbage on the porch is back though so I can only imagine what the house looks like, now.
It's been about a year now, and the entire family still never goes outside. Like, ever. They went out on their scooters in the summer just to go back and forth on the sidewalk from the curb to their porch, never over to the park across the street. The kids are two boys around 6 and the girl is maybe 9 or 10. They had a bunch of toys strewn out on the porch like they were getting ready to play with them until the mother took over the porch with rotten garbage and cigarettes.
She's a chain smoker. I always hear her tossing and slamming the door every time she goes outside. She stays out there to smoke and ignore you if you say hello to her. Sometimes she'll actually greet you back, but it's rare. When they arrived here (they're from Georgia) she always went to the park with the kids and husband, but now she stays inside all day, smokes outside, and screams at the kids. Any time I'm out on my porch I hear their back door open and this overwhelming stench just comes up to my balcony. It's not even her smoking, it smells like sulfur. My sister noticed it when it was raining once and told me it always smells like that when she's out. I couldn't believe it. I've been out long enough when she finishes her smoke breaks to be able to just tell the air stops smelling like rotten eggs once she goes back inside. She also stays at home, has no job, but doesn't cook (She always yells at the kids when they're not 'doing it right' any time they leave the back door open for the world to hear them and see their hoarding lair), clean up the house or the piles of doggie bags littering the porch (they got a warning for this but the bags are slowly coming back, making a stew in a trash can from the recent rain), water the plants, pick up the kids from school, get the mail from the office, walk the dog, or do the laundry. The husband had torn something in his leg so he had to wear a huge boot and crutches, and he did all of these activities even after the boot came off. I helped him with the laundry basket once because he had dropped it and couldn't bend down to pick it up, the backdoor was still open, and the wife was just sitting on the couch watching TV. She only looked over to look suspicious of me like I was trying to impose on her lair.
One day my sister and I heard screaming. Full-blown angry screaming. I can't ever hear anyone from downstairs when they're inside but I could make out every word she was saying. Apparently the daughter had come home early and didn't get dressed for the carnival. The mom came home with the boys, which one of them was carrying three lunch boxes and two backpacks while the other carried groceries. The boy with the school bags dropped a lunchbox and couldn't bend over to pick it up across the street so he was trying to kick it forward. She snarled, "STOP THAT! WHAT DO YA THINK YER DOIN'?!" at him and didn't try to pick it up for him. She was only carrying her purse and house keys. Once she got inside she was screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!... CHANGE YER CLOTHES!... THE CARNIVAL, DAMNIT! STOP WASTIN' MY TIME, YOU THINK WE GOT ALL DAY?!" She then stormed outside, banging the porch door. The girl had gone outside to get something from the van that she needed because of course her mom couldn't carry a single thing aside from her purse. The girl closed and opened the door soundlessly and I realized all the door banging is from her, not the kids. I said hello to the husband once when he was coming back from the office, their back door was open, and she snapped at him, "Where have YOU been?!" He paused and answered, "Uhh.. the mail?" he noticed I was still coming up the stairs to my apartment so he closed the door.
She also is home all day and leaves the Chihuahua in a bedroom. It barks and snarls at anyone within a five mile radius so instead of just training it to have better behavior she locks it in a bedroom below me so it can bark in there for hours when the family wants to leave the back door open during nice weather. They also have learned to only walk the dog when there's no one else around because it seems content to try lunging for your ankles.
The dad comes home and plays video games all day. I can tell because he's deaf as hell apparently and makes the walls shake with his giant surround sound system. The kids stay in their bedroom all day playing or doing homework and are only outside when they're coming home from school. They don't ever play outside on the scooters anymore and I noticed most of their porch toys were piled in the same trash can as the doggie bags.
The dad seemed to have gotten the whole family to do a major cleaning of the house once, when they were throwing out a ton of garbage. The sulfur smell and garbage on the porch is back though so I can only imagine what the house looks like, now.
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2014
I used to work with a lolcow who is now known as 'Eggshells' to us still working there. She left in June 2013 because she had enough of our work environment (despite being good friends with the Boss) to go build a tiny house and travel the country. How she was going to do this when 1) she couldn't collect unemployment insurance, 2) she didn't really have a way of making cash outside of her job, and 3) building a tiny house while living in an apartment, was all left up to our imaginations. For someone who handled tech support and did delicate financial work at our workplace, you would think she would be more careful. We were wrong.
But people do crazy things in life and often come out ahead: you can google that and come up with stories of small business owners who did just that. Eggshells, however, was baffled when you asked her exactly how she was going to afford gas for her Ford Focus to drag around a tiny house. Furthermore, could her Ford Focus pull a house around? Eggshells would just stare at you from her dirty glasses ("don't bother me") like you just grew a second head. Then go on about how she was just about to turn thirty, and that she had plans that us fellow co-workers just didn't understand. For example, she hadn't been arrested yet for her 'beliefs,' and that was a great shame considering she was entering the 'old age' of her fourth decade. Didn't we know? How could we not??
But Eggshells went on with her dream. In fact, in her parting email to everybody, she gave us the URL to follow her blog and her many adventures as she slowly hauled around her yet-to-be-built tiny house in her leased-but-not-paid-off car paid by fairy farts or whatever. Thus, she left. And the next week was spent by fellow coworkers from other departments asking for specifics that were never given, for surely she just didn't up and quit an organization that took her from a secretary to tech support in two and a half short years! We had no answers. We had no speculation. We had plenty of theories that guessed at her mental condition, but she was gone and nothing more was left to be said.
Except for the website.
A work friend of hers kept tabs on her, just to see when and if she was going to come back. For a month, nothing but paragraphs of how she had finally did step 1 of her dream list ("Quit job") and then....nothing. On Reddit, her friend noticed that she was begging for a free pizza because "my vacation leave from my job hasn't come in yet, so hungry." A few weeks later, she was 'revitalized' and decided to become a businesswoman! To create her own business, with her own two hands! Surely she could, as the seminar that she had attended for a low price of $600 per day had told her! She had even bought the small press books that they sold there for $35 apiece and she KNEW she could do it! She had focus now, a direction! Heck, that tiny house was just on the horizon! She should know, she paid $1200 for the plans! $120 a month, it was a steal, and was going to make her follow her dream!! Of the tiny house and the business, somehow they were intertwined.
Did she ever build that tiny house? No. Another work friend who did some building on the side had asked for a copy of the 'blueprints' and found that no only was it not possible to build a tiny house with those plans, he could have gotten a copy of those plans for nothing. A two minute Google search and he had found some that had stuff like 'dimensions' and 'materials needed' and 'how tos' already involved. But by then, Eggshells was in full businesswoman mode. She had shrunk down her life, thrown away a lot of her belongings, moved to her hometown, and was living a simple life in a studio apartment while 'building her business.' What business, you ask?
Simple: phone sex.
Eggshells used to get money by doing phone sex via a website. For a few coins per minute, she would talk to older men. I'm not one to shame sex workers in any way: it's a profession, and if it works for you, go for it. However, in today's conservative world full of privacy invasions, I would take measures to make sure that this didn't come up later in my life to possibly get me in trouble. Keep personal and private separate, so to speak. To make sure that what I did in another job and for possibly fun would not be taken by a future employer to be used for other means.
The whole business found out when Eggshells' Linked-In Profile stated 'Phone Sex Operator.' And the website that she had sent to the entire business was now for her selling her services for $1.25 a minute. And ranked fairly high on Google, too.
Nowadays at work, we don't talk much about Eggshells. She had gotten that nickname when she had upset enough coworkers that we all jokingly said we had to be on eggshells around her. Now at work, the name still fits. We don't really care to mention her because we don't really want to be the one who brings up a story of someone who angered a lot of people, quit for whatever reason, and then went into phone sex. The latest update that our department had of her was that she had to lower her prices on calls and was thinking about doing nude pics online to supplement a move to the West Coast. If you looked at her, you would realize why this is funny.
But people do crazy things in life and often come out ahead: you can google that and come up with stories of small business owners who did just that. Eggshells, however, was baffled when you asked her exactly how she was going to afford gas for her Ford Focus to drag around a tiny house. Furthermore, could her Ford Focus pull a house around? Eggshells would just stare at you from her dirty glasses ("don't bother me") like you just grew a second head. Then go on about how she was just about to turn thirty, and that she had plans that us fellow co-workers just didn't understand. For example, she hadn't been arrested yet for her 'beliefs,' and that was a great shame considering she was entering the 'old age' of her fourth decade. Didn't we know? How could we not??
But Eggshells went on with her dream. In fact, in her parting email to everybody, she gave us the URL to follow her blog and her many adventures as she slowly hauled around her yet-to-be-built tiny house in her leased-but-not-paid-off car paid by fairy farts or whatever. Thus, she left. And the next week was spent by fellow coworkers from other departments asking for specifics that were never given, for surely she just didn't up and quit an organization that took her from a secretary to tech support in two and a half short years! We had no answers. We had no speculation. We had plenty of theories that guessed at her mental condition, but she was gone and nothing more was left to be said.
Except for the website.
A work friend of hers kept tabs on her, just to see when and if she was going to come back. For a month, nothing but paragraphs of how she had finally did step 1 of her dream list ("Quit job") and then....nothing. On Reddit, her friend noticed that she was begging for a free pizza because "my vacation leave from my job hasn't come in yet, so hungry." A few weeks later, she was 'revitalized' and decided to become a businesswoman! To create her own business, with her own two hands! Surely she could, as the seminar that she had attended for a low price of $600 per day had told her! She had even bought the small press books that they sold there for $35 apiece and she KNEW she could do it! She had focus now, a direction! Heck, that tiny house was just on the horizon! She should know, she paid $1200 for the plans! $120 a month, it was a steal, and was going to make her follow her dream!! Of the tiny house and the business, somehow they were intertwined.
Did she ever build that tiny house? No. Another work friend who did some building on the side had asked for a copy of the 'blueprints' and found that no only was it not possible to build a tiny house with those plans, he could have gotten a copy of those plans for nothing. A two minute Google search and he had found some that had stuff like 'dimensions' and 'materials needed' and 'how tos' already involved. But by then, Eggshells was in full businesswoman mode. She had shrunk down her life, thrown away a lot of her belongings, moved to her hometown, and was living a simple life in a studio apartment while 'building her business.' What business, you ask?
Simple: phone sex.
Eggshells used to get money by doing phone sex via a website. For a few coins per minute, she would talk to older men. I'm not one to shame sex workers in any way: it's a profession, and if it works for you, go for it. However, in today's conservative world full of privacy invasions, I would take measures to make sure that this didn't come up later in my life to possibly get me in trouble. Keep personal and private separate, so to speak. To make sure that what I did in another job and for possibly fun would not be taken by a future employer to be used for other means.
The whole business found out when Eggshells' Linked-In Profile stated 'Phone Sex Operator.' And the website that she had sent to the entire business was now for her selling her services for $1.25 a minute. And ranked fairly high on Google, too.
Nowadays at work, we don't talk much about Eggshells. She had gotten that nickname when she had upset enough coworkers that we all jokingly said we had to be on eggshells around her. Now at work, the name still fits. We don't really care to mention her because we don't really want to be the one who brings up a story of someone who angered a lot of people, quit for whatever reason, and then went into phone sex. The latest update that our department had of her was that she had to lower her prices on calls and was thinking about doing nude pics online to supplement a move to the West Coast. If you looked at her, you would realize why this is funny.
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2015
Alright personally I got two lolcows:
1. One is this woman I know because one of my ghetto sister's requested me to add her on Facebook a few years back. She's a single mother who named her son Ra: just Ra, not Ra-amun, god of the sun, but Ra. She apparently worked at a sex shop until she got pregnant so she has so many interesting stories on her page about 'creeps coming in and hitting on her.' Ever since she had her kid she's been looking for attention, when her kids pic stopped getting her likes she began moaning about how breastfeeding wasn't allowed in shots on Facebook as she forwarded other links of more unacceptable media chimping out about how they could do whatever but she couldn't. Literally every day is a challenge for her and everyone apparently has to speak up to her shitty behavior - in the end she always 'wins' arguments and makes up stories to get more brownie points.
2. I ran a Community as a Community Administrator (I do fuck all but greet people and make sure no one's being a total dick) which fluctuates in members and people come and go - usually the people who stay aren't lolcow worthy but this is a glorified milking station, all you had to do was sit back and listen in to find the spergy links. One dude was obsessed with Attack of the Titans, A bunch of Sperglords hitting on our gay server admin, our streaming admin having more satellites than Saturn's rings and little old me dealing with the hoity-toity holier-than-thou members: one in specificity was one sperg who got privileged to become a Community Officer and moderator powers.
This dude had the audacity to tell me in a sick, breathy voice his neck out and tell me to clear comms in that boastful weight-pushing wait and I clear my throat: "Dude," I chuckle, "you may want to see who you're talking to before you tell me to shut up."
Oh and he goes into the deep end! "Rah rah rah, I'm a moderator, I'll see you removed from the guild." First of all, teamspeak ranks meant shit all in game and secondly: I didn't even play this stupid Korean MMO and so threatening to remove me from the guild wasn't effective. I told him to look up and lo' and behold was my administrator tag shining on the side of my name. He shuts his trap and everyone else begins talking, many of them whispering or messaging me that he would make the channel dead quiet for no particular reasons other than he wanted silence. Everyone was getting prissy about it and started getting catty about it, telling me how he was some abusive guy who got the rank because everyone wanted to play "praise the autistic" - a few chats later with my co-admins we announced that his rank wasn't acceptable and placed a better moderator in his place. Queue an Ewok celebration as this lolcow was never seen again, but I will never forget you, Gold.
1. One is this woman I know because one of my ghetto sister's requested me to add her on Facebook a few years back. She's a single mother who named her son Ra: just Ra, not Ra-amun, god of the sun, but Ra. She apparently worked at a sex shop until she got pregnant so she has so many interesting stories on her page about 'creeps coming in and hitting on her.' Ever since she had her kid she's been looking for attention, when her kids pic stopped getting her likes she began moaning about how breastfeeding wasn't allowed in shots on Facebook as she forwarded other links of more unacceptable media chimping out about how they could do whatever but she couldn't. Literally every day is a challenge for her and everyone apparently has to speak up to her shitty behavior - in the end she always 'wins' arguments and makes up stories to get more brownie points.
2. I ran a Community as a Community Administrator (I do fuck all but greet people and make sure no one's being a total dick) which fluctuates in members and people come and go - usually the people who stay aren't lolcow worthy but this is a glorified milking station, all you had to do was sit back and listen in to find the spergy links. One dude was obsessed with Attack of the Titans, A bunch of Sperglords hitting on our gay server admin, our streaming admin having more satellites than Saturn's rings and little old me dealing with the hoity-toity holier-than-thou members: one in specificity was one sperg who got privileged to become a Community Officer and moderator powers.
This dude had the audacity to tell me in a sick, breathy voice his neck out and tell me to clear comms in that boastful weight-pushing wait and I clear my throat: "Dude," I chuckle, "you may want to see who you're talking to before you tell me to shut up."
Oh and he goes into the deep end! "Rah rah rah, I'm a moderator, I'll see you removed from the guild." First of all, teamspeak ranks meant shit all in game and secondly: I didn't even play this stupid Korean MMO and so threatening to remove me from the guild wasn't effective. I told him to look up and lo' and behold was my administrator tag shining on the side of my name. He shuts his trap and everyone else begins talking, many of them whispering or messaging me that he would make the channel dead quiet for no particular reasons other than he wanted silence. Everyone was getting prissy about it and started getting catty about it, telling me how he was some abusive guy who got the rank because everyone wanted to play "praise the autistic" - a few chats later with my co-admins we announced that his rank wasn't acceptable and placed a better moderator in his place. Queue an Ewok celebration as this lolcow was never seen again, but I will never forget you, Gold.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2013
One of my lolcows, D, is acting up right now. First episode of Dino Charge was released early, and it's part one of two. He's whining about how there's a lack of "context." He tries to sound intellectual, but does not understand what "show, don't tell" means. He pretty much is crying for things to be spelled out from him right from the get-go (I can only imagine how frustrated he'd be with Gundam Reconguista in G).
He's an admitted autistic. I'm curious as how much of his actions are because of that, considering his insistence on authorial intent over how a scene/character comes across. For example, he didn't understand how an episode of Samurai came across as horribly sexist until it was spelled out for him. Some think he's trolling for attention. Pretty much what some have accused Coleslaw of doing, purposefully going against common opinion for the sake of attention.
If it is his autism, I kinda pity him. He's watching the show in his own way, not picking up things the rest of the fandom are. It's like, he watched a movie and is trying to talk to other fans. The problem is, the other fans are talking about things from the book that weren't in the movie. Our experiences are that much different. I mean, he's arguing the plot wasn't coherent when it was pretty damn straight-forward.
He's an admitted autistic. I'm curious as how much of his actions are because of that, considering his insistence on authorial intent over how a scene/character comes across. For example, he didn't understand how an episode of Samurai came across as horribly sexist until it was spelled out for him. Some think he's trolling for attention. Pretty much what some have accused Coleslaw of doing, purposefully going against common opinion for the sake of attention.
If it is his autism, I kinda pity him. He's watching the show in his own way, not picking up things the rest of the fandom are. It's like, he watched a movie and is trying to talk to other fans. The problem is, the other fans are talking about things from the book that weren't in the movie. Our experiences are that much different. I mean, he's arguing the plot wasn't coherent when it was pretty damn straight-forward.
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