I only met this guy today and I don't even know his name, but this is literally the only place I could talk about him properly.
It was my first day at a new job today. Polexia is moving up in the world. I was working with someone who was training me when this Guy walks right up to us. He is wearing a too-big button down shirt which is not tucked in and which in fact has a large brown stain on the front, like he spilled coffee down himself. Just from his fucking face I can tell he's not right.
"How are you today?" she asks. "Inquisitive, thanks!!" he says. Oh. Good. Fucking. Lord.
He loudly and proudly informs us that he submitted an application a week ago and has come to check up on it! Because it's not like this is 2019, companies love when you disrupt the flow of business like that!
He's got the autism voice. Well, I should say the Asperger's voice. The vocal pattern, inflection, and volume just loud enough to be uncomfortable. My trainer radios for a manager and we wait, smiling at this guy with supreme discomfort as he tries to make witty conversation. It's immediately apparent that not only does he have the classically autistic lack of social graces, but some poor well-meaning soul (likely his mummy) has drilled into him the importance of being friendly and confident at all times, and he is going to live and die by that advice. He does that extremely irritating "trick" where he reads my nametag and addresses me by name. It's times like these where I miss the jobs that didn't require one. He's acting like a cocky little shit in a way that I usually expect to be followed by an inquiry into my sexual availability.
The manager finally comes, saints preserve us. He re-uses his oh-so-clever "Inquisitive, thanks!" line, which gets a startled chuckle from the manager just like it got one from my trainer. She politely and kindly explains to this sperg that the hiring manager is not in, but she will take his name and make sure his application gets looked at. Oh, I forgot - right after his little inquisitive joke, he said "I'm your new favorite!" and in a stage whisper said "I won't tell the others!!!!" Ha ha fucking ha, I'm going to die.
He continued to have a chat with the poor manager for a few minutes while my trainer went to show me something else. However his voice was so goddamn loud that I couldn't tune him out. He said that he's almost "resorted" to working at a Wal-Mart, but how this job would be so close to his house, it's perfect! Oh, there's a second location too? Even BETTER! Even closer to his house, that'll work out so well for him. Something about bragging about his work ethic, at this point I was really trying to pay attention to my trainer and not get sucked into the black hole of cringe that this guy was producing around himself.
I mentioned him in passing to the manager later. She said that she'll pass his info to the hiring manager, and he can make that final decision. I truly doubt that this guy could do any good in even the most entry level customer service position, so it's not likely he'll be hired, but it's been a long time since I was that genuinely rattled by the sheer force of secondhand embarrassment.
Anyone remember the secret Gamestop footage where Chris-Chan was buying the Pokeball and explaining to the associate all about Sonichu and how he was da creator and all of that shit? Honestly, it was exactly that sort of discomfort level, except I can't m.il.k any real Kiwi points from the encounter with this sperg.
) as the kid I mentioned earlier, so it was KINDA plausible that he'd take the same required class first summer term.
