Personal sex stories

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I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
 
Yuuichirou Kumada said:
Whacking it with two hands counts as a threesome, right?
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>tfw your cock is so desensitized to your double handed death grip you have to start using a third hand
rsz-kira-decides-to-tail-shigechi-56965fbaa68adf470a17cc45ea5d328d-28643907a1d1238a86d46a00146...png
 
Touching cocks is gay, unless you're a poultry farmer.

Which by the way ironically is kind of erotic when you cut the head off too. I think there is hidden sexuality is being a poultry farmer.

And also swines rolling around in mud. That can be kind of a thing, too...

Mentioning it for a friend only.
 
Once upon a time, I had an on again off again FWB who kept insisting on doing anal even though I kept explaining that a) generally anal town for me is past the boyfriend pay wall and b) it's kind of a hassle to prep for. He said that he didn't care whether I prepped or not so as a trade off I told him if he'd take a couple of fingers, I'd let him. Apparently guys that like anal really seem to like anal because he agreed. Afterwards, he spent the entire week complaining to me about his butthole (I think I tore something, I think my butthole got bigger, what if it doesn't go back to normal, blah blah blah). You took two fingers bro, I took a dick. You're getting no sympathy from me, sir. Needless to say, no more anal for him.
 
twi1992 said:
Once upon a time, I had an on again off again FWB who kept insisting on doing anal even though I kept explaining that a) generally anal town for me is past the boyfriend pay wall and b) it's kind of a hassle to prep for. He said that he didn't care whether I prepped or not so as a trade off I told him if he'd take a couple of fingers, I'd let him. Apparently guys that like anal really seem to like anal because he agreed. Afterwards, he spent the entire week complaining to me about his butthole (I think I tore something, I think my butthole got bigger, what if it doesn't go back to normal, blah blah blah). You took two fingers bro, I took a dick. You're getting no sympathy from me, sir. Needless to say, no more anal for him.
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I’m pretty sure this was an episode of Murder, She Wrote.
 
twi1992 said:
Once upon a time, I had an on again off again FWB who kept insisting on doing anal even though I kept explaining that a) generally anal town for me is past the boyfriend pay wall and b) it's kind of a hassle to prep for. He said that he didn't care whether I prepped or not so as a trade off I told him if he'd take a couple of fingers, I'd let him. Apparently guys that like anal really seem to like anal because he agreed. Afterwards, he spent the entire week complaining to me about his butthole (I think I tore something, I think my butthole got bigger, what if it doesn't go back to normal, blah blah blah). You took two fingers bro, I took a dick. You're getting no sympathy from me, sir. Needless to say, no more anal for him.
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What a fag, I never would have agreed to take anything up the ass
 
Be careful, it may start with sex dolls and random toys, but it ends with a Brazilian tranny (non-passing) taking a dump on your chest while you’re dressed up like a giant clown baby who’s getting railed in the poopy-hole by a dragon dildo.

Slippery slope man, slippery slope.
 
I once did a sex with a vagina


I actually did in an abandoned copper refinery once. Shit was NOT cash
 
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