Phil's Brother Facts Thread

[CornetteFace]

Phil's brother got killed by ninjas, but came back for revenge

 

[Deadpool]

Phil's brother is a completely passing trans woman. She looks 100% latina but refuses to appropriate another culture, despite speaking Spanish fluently and being a five star Mexican chef. She also has a successful job in the tech industry which she uses to support her father. She also knows 7/4 didn't happen.

 

[TheEnforcer]

Phil's brother charges people 250 dollars to go out for a beer with him and he is booked up for the next 15 months.

 

[CornetteFace]

Phil's brother fuels the fight

 

[kobebyarlant]

Phil's brother isn't a giant ass burger.

 

[Zeorus]

So that the curious don't have to do so much digging:

Spoiler: The Original Phil's Brother Facts in all their glory

I heard ADF's brother works with troubled youths and tries to keep them off the street secretly feeling guilt and shame that his little brother is terrorizing Portland. he vowed to never let that happen to anyone again.

I heard ADF's brother is married to a trans woman.

I heard ADF's brother is on a life-long quest to hunt down and kill the great white whale that gave Phil autism.

I heard ADF's brother was the one who saved Jace from Brianna Wu's trannycopter.

I heard Ahuviya's brother had to tackle him to the ground on July 4th during the supposed rape incident, when Ahuviya started throwing a bitch fit.

I heard ADF's brother lives in Spain where he works for a socialist union which actively supports the poor and working-class people, helps them find housing and employment under fair conditions as well as cares for refugees from Syria and other regions of crisis.

I once saw Phil's brother scissor-kick Angela Lansberry!

I heard Phil's brother is a world-class BMX rider and gives lessons to less-fortunate children in his free time.

I heard ADF's brother is a high school Spanish teacher.

One time, ADF's brother punched Phil in the face.

It was awesome.

I heard ADF's brother is a heroic fireman who saved a bunch of orphans from a fire started by ADF.

This is why ADF hates firemen.

Legend has it that Phil's brother wanders the streets of Philadelphia at night avenging murdered people of color.

Sometimes ADF's brother participates in drag shows and gets mistaken for an actual woman.

A friend of a friend told me that Phil's brother beat the Cinnamon Challenge. Twice.

ADF's brother once ate a ghost pepper and didn't even flinch.

ADF's brother once ate a ghost pepper and didn't even flinch.

With paper cuts on his tongue too.

And don't forget the time where ADF's brother had a great paying job, a wife, 2 kids, and didn't beat his own mother.

Phil's brother runs marathons while carrying a disabled child on his back so that they can both win.

Rumor has it ADF's brother is, in fact, a cisgender white man... And is proud of this fact.

Phil's brother worked in Mexico for two years with the Peace Corps building houses for working-class families.

ADF's brother runs a helpline for LGBT+ youth.

When ADF's brother walks he doesn't actually move. The world just rotates under his feet.

Phil's brother rules an imaginary country that became a real one.

John Henry Phil's brother beat a steam drill in a track-laying race in West Virginia.

I heard Phil's brother is physically incapable of being a lying jackass who smells filthy.

Phil's brother runs marathons while carrying a disabled child on his back so that they can both win.

Don't forget that he holds the kid in front of him right before the finish line, so that the kid finishes first.

I heard Phil's bro currently runs a highly successful one man wine company that imports wine from Hungary and also reads to the elderly at a nearby retirement home in his spare time.

Phil's brother was deemed "Most Desirable Bachelor" by OKCupid (ladies). He enjoys rock climbing, classical music and French films.

Phil's brother spends his downtime in third world countries teaching people to read, and feeding them. All out of his own pocket.

Phil's brother did the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

Phil's brother is worshiped as the eleventh avatar of Vishnu by a small but devoted sect in India for his benevolence toward mankind.

ADF's brother rescued a toddler from a burning car, and then dove into a nearby burning building saving five kittens and two puppies.

Phil's brother did the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

His brother also freed wookie slaves. He turned his back on a promising career to save some.

Connor plagiarized Redesigning Eva from Phil's brother.

Phil's brother is a tattoo artist who cares more about the quality of his work and artistic integrity rather than making a quick buck off some sped with financial management issues.

Phil's autism could be cured if he was more like his brother.

His brother is also a film critic who thoroughly enjoyed Toy Story 3.

I heard Phil's brother started a community garden in an inner-city neighborhood and donated the produce to a homeless shelter.

Phil's brother runs a co-op café that welcomes law enforcement personnel as well as firefighters.

Phil's brother was on a bus full of bikini models and got an erection.

He was the only survivor and started a charity for their families.

Phil's brother has a tumblr where he posts deep, meaningful thoughts in English and in Italian.

I heard he had some Naruto fan that ADF was hanging out with and nailed him to a wall. And then he had him skinned. And then he stretched him out like a hammock. And then he took a power nap...on him, I guess.

I heard Phils brother actually did get molested by their dad.

Phil's brother is not fat and I would have sex with him.

Phil's brother can melt steel beams.

Phil's brother doesn't live under a bridge and regularly bathes. He has a firm grasp on history and only wears Ché t-shirts ironically. He also regularly bathes, unlike his Uncle Fester-lookin' homunculus of a brother.

Phil's brother gave Johnny Cash his first guitar.

Sorry if I forgot any.

 

[CornetteFace]

Phil's brother is the man in the pickle suit

 

[Surtur]

Phil brother secretly owns the Kiwi Farms.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Phil's brother taught Eddie Van Halen to play guitar.

 

[drtoboggan]

I tripped over Phil's brother's wang in LA. He was in New York.

 

[Handsome Pete]

A high-five from Phil's brother can cure autism and fibromyalgia, and will turn any bad tattoo into a kickass phoenix design.

 

[tomgirl4life]

Phil's brother currently has nothing to do with ADF and has a happy family life.

 

[drtoboggan]

If an erection lasts more than four hours, call Phil's brother.

 

[Lady Houligan]

Phil's brother is a gentle lover who always makes breakfast and calls the next day.

 

[drtoboggan]

Batty is sane and quiet in the presence of Phil's brother. Too bad he also has to make fun of SJWs in person. And loveshys.