Phil's Valentine's Day Internet Massacre

[Fuckyoudad]

There's a pretty good chance that Phil's "on-demand video and uh also livestreaming video internet service" will be hitting a snag over the coming Valentine's Day weekend. Place your bets on what tragic circumstances will befall our hero and force him instead to spend the time off splurging on high kwality food, high kwality jpegs and low kwality time with Mrs Potato Head and twitter.

This is definitely a conspiracy theory, Phil. No factual evidence. Just knowing you for 12 years is all I have to go on.

 

[DeeTracktor]

Jasper steps on his toe

 

[Cats]

I think Khaat left a looooooong time ago. He will probably spend this Vagina Day scratching his leg while looking at a Cammy statue across the room.

 

[PaleTay]

I think Khaat left a looooooong time ago. He will probably spend this Vagina Day scratching his leg while looking at a Cammy statue across the room.

I think we'd find out if she left as I think there were people who claimed to shop at the Krogers or work with her.

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

Some dude slaps Kat while she's at work, she and Phil end up on the local news.

"Katherine's husband, Philip Burnell, is a prolific streamer on Amazon's Twitch. He had some words to say"
"I think that, it's so fuc-messed up that someone would *whimpers*, *sniffs*, would do this. My wife, uh, Kat, she didn't do ANYTHING wrong and she has never hurt anyone! She works her ASS off to help me, uh, pay my bills. I'm going to set up a, uh, gofundme, so please, PLEASE help out if you can!"
"As you can see, Mr. Burnell is extremely distressed, we hope the best for Katherine, her husband and her son, Jasper."

 

[Mr. Brown]

I'm going with a power cut seeing as he had a small one this week.

 

[Ol' Slag]

Lack of sleep or ear infection.

 

[JimmyHill'sBlarms]

MUH DEPRESHIN will kick in because Jasper stomped him and caused a case of ear gout.

 

[Salubrious]

Most normal people would say "Sunday is Valentine's Day, I'm spending time with the wife, no main stream but I'll come back for the usual night stream." Or the other way around, do a short main stream like 11-2 and then spend the evening with the wife. That makes more sense actually.

DSP will invent some weird bullshit for no reason. Not to skip the stream, but to NOT skip the stream. I fully expect a "Kat doesn't like Valentine's Day" or "Valentine's Day is stupid" rant.

I forgot what he did last year and I'm too lazy to check.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I'm going to play the longshot here. Have you checked the weather? They're calling for snow in Renton over the weekend.
My bet is: the power goes out and Phil is actually unable to stream, and he flips out because he's neither making money nor having robust adult gourmet dinners.

 

[Geralt of Rivia]

Not enough tips for my khaaaantent doods, bugged internet and power mechanics.

 

[Balr0g]

Getting Sonic just like on her anniversary. Then he will have a gout attack

 

[Wingnut]

A WWE Champions event that requires playing over the weekend.
So an ear infection I guess.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Parents haven't been dying in a while, that could be a good reason.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

There's a pretty good chance that Phil's "on-demand video and uh also livestreaming video internet service" will be hitting a snag over the coming Valentine's Day weekend. Place your bets on what tragic circumstances will befall our hero and force him instead to spend the time off splurging on high kwality food, high kwality jpegs and low kwality time with Mrs Potato Head and twitter.

This is definitely a conspiracy theory, Phil. No factual evidence. Just knowing you for 12 years is all I have to go on.

How romantic. Spending the day streaming instead of spending it with his wife whom he supposedly loves and loves him back.

But then we all know they're not really married and are just roommates.

I think Khaat left a looooooong time ago. He will probably spend this Vagina Day scratching his leg while looking at a Cammy statue across the room.

While he's going to be jerking it himself in his "office" I'd say his horse is still there. She's got a good thing going on. She's got a roof over her head, doesn't need to do anything other than play vidya all day, go to her grocery job and occasionally sit with Phil as they watch a movie at night.

She sleeps in her room and only comes out when she needs to. Unless she's found a bigger loser to shack up with.

Remember this is the woman who "loved to cook" and wanted to take care of the gout mansion. And yet after a couple months living there she's barely doing the minimum to keep the pig fed. She got her home and a loser to leech off of. Unless there's a reason for her to leave she's not going to. Unlike Panda who just had enough of his ways and realized he didn't care for her, Khet doesn't care about Phil because now she's married to him and any reason to keep up the charade of being the loving wife is gone.

 

[Gramh]

Kat and Phil's relationship is definitely tanked, the reason she doesn't jump on his streams or stream as Mrs. DSP is because she's embarrassed to be associated with the pigroach. She was more than happy to try out streaming herself there is evidence of that, why would someone with ambition to build a stream bail out on an easy meal ticket other than weird threats from DSP or she doesn't want to deal with the pigroach more than she has to. She probably told him she had to work on Valentines Day and he's more than happy to pretend he's a mature adult and stream on that day anyway, so I don't see the pig pulling the plug on his Vday streams for any reason.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Kat and Phil's relationship is definitely tanked, the reason she doesn't jump on his streams or stream as Mrs. DSP is because she's embarrassed to be associated with the pigroach. She was more than happy to try out streaming herself there is evidence of that, why would someone with ambition to build a stream bail out on an easy meal ticket other than weird threats from DSP or she doesn't want to deal with the pigroach more than she has to. She probably told him she had to work on Valentines Day and he's more than happy to pretend he's a mature adult and stream on that day anyway, so I don't see the pig pulling the plug on his Vday streams for any reason.

It's still puzzling to me why every one of her social media profiles are still up.

 

[Heckler1]

Kat and Phil's relationship is definitely tanked

I am shocked you would suggest such a thing. Why would any woman not want to throw herself on a manchild with zero hygiene, crippling gambling addictions, and life skills about on par with a paraplegic orangutan.

 

[Gramh]

I am shocked you would suggest such a thing. Why would any woman not want to throw herself on a manchild with zero hygiene, crippling gambling addictions, and life skills about on par with a paraplegic orangutan.

Because he needs to do his jahb and she can't beg for all those orgasms a super stud like Phil would give a lady, it's obviously why Pandalee left she got addicted to that polish sausage.

 

[NaggotFigger]

I think for a guy who will die alone that is Phil himself, is that he'll just never get anything for Valentine, the only thing I can think of is that the thing he'll do is that he will put up a not-so formidable excuse (like, a very petty excuse) for whatever reason about Kat while streaming for Valentine's Day on Twitch. His Valentine's Day stream would be just him being a lonely manpig still playing games while continue his gameplay and sperging about Valentine's day, I think, could be other things that will be the opposite to our predictions.

I haven't remember the events that involves him most of the time, because I had more things to work on.