New buzzfeed article:
"African Woman Stuns World"
-Mbeke ungaboobogadu, A native Ghanaian, has invented a soup that could potentially save billions of dollars. Every year, evil white men in the USA mow their lawns and throw away the clippings. These clippings are then processed by waste management and contribute to global warming through exhaust fumes and incineration or whatever.
"But what if that waste could be greencycled?" Mbeke, who shines in the sun like a gorilla in an oil spill, asks. Her solution? A dazzling sensation that your taste buds won't soon forget.
We asked her: "what is the secret to the intricate musky flavor you achieve?
She answered in her Ghanaian accent, thick as molasses, while smiling and bobbing her head: "Yes, yes, yes, I use a local secret of the moolooloo millipede. It is good, it taste like yummy and gives crunch crunch." She then opened her mouth wide and made several imitations of how they "crunch crunch" the local delicacy.
Our field reporter was stunned with her shocking brilliance. And so was Bill Gates. The Bill and Billinda Gates Foundation has decided to fund this project by covering the international shipping costs of the grass clippings from the US to Ghana and also the shipping costs of sending the finished and bottled soups back the US to be sold in Targets nationwide. Truly a win for Africa and quite possibly the whole world nationwide.