🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Mr E. Grifter]

The first wife (only woman that Ralph ever loved) absconded to Engl*nd

Absconded? She never left!
Ralph met Nora over the internet when she was 17 or something ridiculous, then got into an online relationship with her and married her in the US when they met up - perhaps for the first, maybe the second time.

Asides from May, Ralph's primary relationships have always been with girls he groomed online that were far too young for him. He's a pathetic freak who is trying to make up for the fact he is a complete loser trainwreck.

 

[Lidl Drip]

The wifejak memes remind Ralph of his two failed marriages obviously, but they also remind him that he's never once had a wholesome/cute dynamic with a woman that he could even make such a meme about.

I doubt he can even remember much of his time with Pantsu due to being drunk and pilled out all the time, aside from the sex tape with the giggolo and the pictures he took to show off on Twitter there is nothing but blacked out days, crying and yelling. "Ethan, the baby needs diapers, you never give me any money for even the bare necessities" and "Ethan, please stop screaming so much, the baby keeps crying" just doesn't make for a great wifejak meme.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Absconded? She never left!
Ralph met Nora over the internet when she was 17 or something ridiculous, then got into an online relationship with her and married her in the US when they met up - perhaps for the first, maybe the second time.

Asides from May, Ralph's primary relationships have always been with girls he groomed online that were far too young for him. He's a pathetic freak who is trying to make up for the fact he is a complete loser trainwreck.

Come on now. Ralph got a free dildo out of it so it's not a complete loss.

 

[Lidl Drip]

That's a really nice Thanksgiving dinner, reminds me that Ralph has never in his life had someone prepare something like that for him and never will.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

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That's a really nice Thanksgiving dinner, reminds me that Ralph has never in his life had someone prepare something like that for him and never will.

Another holiday Ralph will spend alone and unloved, glued to the computer. Oh well.

 

[Cyberpunk Meta]

Piggertits will sit, alone in his urine-smelling shit shack in Meeh-he-co seething as his daughter Rozanna Morris (née Ralph) and Alexander Bruce Vickers (neither of whom carry his surname) enjoy a festive warm Thanksgiving with their families, away from the rage pig, away from filth, and hollering.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Kind of funny because Josh is currently literally sweeping it up on his MATI stream of a video game

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

So we're just pretending you're not banned from the country your daddy gave you?

 

[Elmo]

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That's a really nice Thanksgiving dinner, reminds me that Ralph has never in his life had someone prepare something like that for him and never will.

The last time Ralph had a Thanksgiving that nice is when he bought it from Popeye's.

 

[metroid_fetish_ii]

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, retard.

 

[lowly kiwi merchant]

Thanksgiving isn't even a holiday in Mexico.

 

[HackerX]

Thanksgiving isn't even a holiday in Mexico.

Thanksgiving, much like xanax without alcohol, doesn't even work without family.

 

[AltisticRight]

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That's a really nice Thanksgiving dinner, reminds me that Ralph has never in his life had someone prepare something like that for him and never will.

Is Thanksgiving even a thing in Mexico?
At least big stores outside of America uses it as a lame excuse to sell garbage consumerism.
What does piggytits have to offer? He doesn't even have his diary website anymore to write his little gay stories.

 

[Vect]

Wifejak is "oppressive"? Congrats Ralph you're the first person to ever feel oppressed by a soyjack. What a pussy

I think, to be fair, he just means it's everywhere in his feed and it's mean spirited, and his choice of 'oppressive' was just a set-up for that punchline.

I suppose he's forgotten the embarrassing soliloquys he wrote pining for that May woman then.

 

[JustStopDude]

Is Thanksgiving even a thing in Mexico?
At least big stores outside of America uses it as a lame excuse to sell garbage consumerism.
What does piggytits have to offer? He doesn't even have his diary website anymore to write his little gay stories.

Depends where you are at. Closer to the northern boarder, it's not unusual to have people celebrate it, especially if they got family on the other side.

It's sort of like Cinco De Mayo which is another US holiday you see sort of celebrated in the northern part of Mexico.

 

[yydszmiteg2]

Link / archive

"I don't like Wives and Wife memes."

 

[Sammich]

Link / archive

How the fuck is Ralph going to have an almost funny and reasoned take on this. Of course calling it oppressive is a chronically online take, but I'm not mad at the attempt. he could easily just ignore it if he wanted too, but in service of the joke, meh. I don't blame anyone for shitting on Ralph for the take though.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Is Thanksgiving even a thing in Mexico?
At least big stores outside of America uses it as a lame excuse to sell garbage consumerism.
What does piggytits have to offer? He doesn't even have his diary website anymore to write his little gay stories.

He’s thankful he’s still alive and owning the haters by drawing wheezy breath and will be eating a turkey torta or limply finger pointing at a Mexican meal because he abandoned the country his daddy gave him

 

[Rage Pig]

Gunt managed to combine seething at cancer man and wifejak in one tweet.

Enjoy your day off today piggy, take an extra xannie or two, masturbate while thinking about the hot physio therapist assistant, eat a torta, fill your lungs with a deep breath of tin shack air that smells like piss and cat shit, think of your children you'll never see again and then cry yourself to sleep. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[AnOminous]

Happy Thanksgiving!

I think we can all agree that we're thankful we aren't Ethan Ralph, aren't hunkered down in a tin roofed shack in a Third World country, aren't a fugitive who managed to get a nationwide search warrant over a misdemeanor, haven't drunk so much booze our arm fell off, have family who actually want to see them, don't stream for pennies to an audience of dozens, etc. etc. etc.

Just not being Ethan Oliver Ralph is a few dozen things to be thankful for.