🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Near]

The everlasting cycle continues

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I feel like there should be a "challenge to boxing match (no-show) somewhere in that cycle

 

[Farmer9876]

Lol

 

[lurkin]

Sometimes I just marvel at how people like Ralph get up every day and keep going. He doesn't even live in the same COUNTRY as his children. That alone would make me want to die. If I woke up tomorrow as him I'd step in front of the first truck I saw.

You are coming at this from the wrong angle, you are being a 'normy' by loving your children and not being a pilled out man pig. Realign your perception.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Without those pesky Jooos, the Ralphamale would've had a few million dollars in the bank, his life is so unique and special!

They already made a show about Ralph, it got an American remake and everything.

(This isn't really fair because Frank Gallagher sometimes did nice things for people.)

Sometimes I just marvel at how people like Ralph get up every day and keep going.

I feel that way about a lot of cows, especially guys like Peetz who haven't even achieved as much as Ralph in their lives. You'd be surprised how easy it is for a lot of people to persist in the existential nightmare they've created for themselves; unless something significantly bad happens the Ralphacycle will continue til he dies.

Even if he eventually becomes homeless on the streets of Mexico sucking dicks for tacos he'll still be boasting on Twitter about being the best dick sucker in Merida, if you want to know the truth about it.

 

[Sneed Force One]

They already made a show about Ralph, it got an American remake and everything.

IIRC, Frank Gallagher (UK and US) is never portrayed as a rapist and at least made a rare effort to be in his two daughters' lives, so he already has a leg up on our dear Ralph.

 

[Oliver Onions]

IIRC, Frank Gallagher (UK and US) is never portrayed as a rapist

Frank also rebuffed the affections of the teenage girl trying to seduce him instead of impregnating her (in the UK one at least, never watched the remake).

 

[JustStopDude]

In my head cannon, Ralph was baiting everyone with his suicide attempt when his lawyer/plumber/locksmith Pedro contacted him and Ralph learned that Pedro is also a therapist that specializes in suicide prevention.

 

[(°▽°)]

Mexican man queso his horse's taco

Minor but disgusting correction: wrong hole

 

[KillaSmoke]

If he eventually becomes homeless on the streets of Mexico sucking dicks for tacos he'll still be boasting on Twitter about being the best dick sucker in Merida, if you want to know the truth about it.

Ain't nobody give a gummer like the ralphamale, bish!

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I wonder if daddy dax was one of the people that left a message, or did Ralph's latest suicide gamble fail.

No. Dax didn’t even take the IRL suicide bait a few months ago when he refused to let Gunt come to his house. Ralph even whined to Jesse that Dax mocked him on-air after the suicide baiting gambit failed.

Dax is done with Gunt behaving like a BPD chick he banged years ago. Ralph seems to think Knoxville and partying in Vegas entitles him to Dax caring about his emotional stability.

Ralph’s drunken suicide baiting has been a running joke for years, but some of his manbaby fans can relate. We see it a few times a year because desperate enough for pity to take it to twitter, but he’s doing it far more often in DMs to anyone who’s made the mistake of privately communicating with him. He blows up phones with vague promises of this being the last you’ll ever hear from him (if you don’t respond!)

Hunter S Thompson (who Ralph idolizes) is the perfect example of a narcissist who killed himself, and the way he did it, is the ultimate narcissist way, how he purposely traumatized and blamed his ex wife.

Not his wife, but his 6 year old grandson and son, who were in the next room when he did it. He tried to keep the wife on the phone while he blew his brains out but she had hung up before he managed it. Lol. I’ve always wondered if she was actually egging him on. (More empty threats you crippled old bastard?)

Im sure she could barely suppress the joy when she found out he was dead. She could finally have his estate and not have to play nurse to the drunk old angry man with a broken hip she had to serve fruit jello with booze for breakfast. She only got married to HST counting on the fact the old bastard wouldn’t live long.

HST actually traumatized and royally fucked over his only child, and grandson, all for a cute blonde gold digger who was eager anticipating his demise. Ralph is just sad he’s too poor and friendless to be able to do the same.

Juan Thompson deserves kudos for managing to build a good life despite his dad, who he described as a basket case.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph's grievance towards Dax proves yet again he has no concept of how interpersonal relationships work because he was a coddled shut in for most of his adult life and has never had any real friends. He thinks that if you were ever kind to him, ever trusting of him, ever cared about him etc. he is entitled to that level of relationship in perpetuity. He can't comprehend that it's his own actions that have driven everybody away from him. It's THEIR fault for being disloyal. He's allowed to do whatever he wants and if you don't like it then it's you being a bad person and breaking the blood oath you weren't aware you signed when you decided to give him a chance.

I don't know what this stems from. Obviously some sort of attachment issue that likely started at a young age when he attached his face to his dad's dick.

 

[sufferhorse]

its the behaviour of a bratty kid with a ton of psych issues. Never been actually corrected of educated, only beaten with no real explanation as to why. Once ronnie absconded the pigsty, Sandra just did a terrible job raising him on her own. Ethan was out of control and she enabled his most deranged behaviours, including flying an almosd underaged bpd whore to act as a live in bangmaid while sharing a house with his mom. No sane mother would allow that if it wasnt because either: a) her mental state was already slippin (wich would mean ralph took advantage of his crazy mother for years) b) she was kinda wishing another female would take the responsability of raising him away from her. Not for nothing ralph always needed and pursued girlfriends that also acted like a mother.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

He thinks that if you were ever kind to him, ever trusting of him, ever cared about him etc. he is entitled to that level of relationship in perpetuity.

I think this largely stems from Sandra letting him throw his weight around and never slapping him with consequences.

I distinctly remember him scoffing at the idea that a family member could ever be disowned, regardless of how fucked up their behaviour is. He responds to any such ultimatum with a "yeah, whatever, see you again tomorrow".

The trouble with Ralph is that he expects "ride or die" behaviour from his circle but isn't prepared to extend the same courtesy the second he finds a better offer or there's some perceived slight he just can't get over.

 

[AltisticRight]

Minor but disgusting correction: wrong hole

...

Burrito then.

 

[Sneed Force One]

Its so obvious from Ralph's drunken rant that spite for the alogs is literally the only thing he has left in life.

He expresses utter confusion that Diddler Dax felt the need to keep him at arm's length. The concept of work / life separation is alien to him. His work is his life, he is the reverse-Severance, there is no line of demarcation. The hat is not hung for the night, it stays on afterhours. These little internet friends are real, he cried because Daddy Metokur wouldn't back him up from the bullies.

 

[Cyberpunk Meta]

Legends go down in a blaze of glory.

Piggertits is a legendary lolcow. But he is no legend of humanity. He is the recess of humanity; a gunted grizzled abscess of flesh. More biomass than human.

 

[WingsOfLardation]

Ethan still posting about Grace Thorp.
I think he hopes for a meetup since she's currently in Texas.
Grace & Ben Thorp are absolutely crazy enough to meet with Ethan for Content.
Hopefully they meet up, just to see her -- 5'10 -- tower over him.

 

[Homer Simpson]

Is this guy seriously staging a "comeback" from taking a nap? Real gonzo shit!

This is the best interpretation of his suicide baiting. Just playing it up like suicide for attention. "Hey guys, dunno if I am coming back. Gonna be gone. Gonna go comfortably with a glass of milk and a night cap."

 

[AltisticRight]

Ethan still posting about Grace Thorp.
I think he hopes for a meetup since she's currently in Texas.
Grace & Ben Thorp are absolutely crazy enough to meet with Ethan for Content.
Hopefully they meet up, just to see her -- 5'10 -- tower over him.
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She's not going to fuck you, Ethan.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

They should hang out at the Jamal's. That was such a big success after Gunterbowl.