🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.2%
  • lol no

    Votes: 333 92.8%

  • Total voters
    359
Apparently the bouncher said to Ralph, "Ey mang! I fucking love Todo Recall, mang! You're the lady right? With the three tits! What happen to you, amigo? You get the uh, como se dice, the diabétus like Wilfer Brinley from Cocoon?" Ralph replied in a mumble, "Bish, kiss my ass, fuckin Josh Farm Kiwifaggot cancer patient nigger!" Which instigated the fight.
 
For those of you geographically challenged, Ralph is based again on this trip in TJ, which is just across the border from SD (likely because of costs, more on that below). L'il Piggertits lives in SD with his mom and grandma (grandparents?), and likely the Disney Diddler as his everyday dad. I'm not sure if it's the Vickers side or Faith's mom's side. Faith moved to the SD area a while ago, likely to be closer to Disneyland (and to get away from the implosion and imminent singularity of her parents' failed marriage.)

Regardless, here's a map!

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San Diego is an expensive place, even just to visit, in part because things get really sketchy as you venture south. (Also a lot of the issues that plague LA also plague SD- limited development, topography constraints, liberal politics...) Even Chula Vista, a city just south of SD, is not a place a lot of people will rush to go to. (There is some gentrification happening, particularly along the coast. Less so inland.) I doubt Ralph could afford a hotel or airbnb unless he was way up in North County (Oceanside or Escondido), or way east (Santee or further). Then the uber costs start rising through the roof. So Ralph made the "frugal" choice of staying in Tijuana, which is pricey for Mexico but a right bargain compared to San Diego. (Note, I don't know where exactly Faith lives, nor where the detention center is that Xander has to visit his dad at. San Diego isn't LA big, but as you can see from the map, the city and surrounding communities are extensive. TJ could still be a retarded choice for Ralph.)

Why doesn't everyone do this, camp in TJ and spend your days in SD? Well, the border crossing is a bitch:
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Ralph supposedly has a retard (replacement) US Passport now, so crossing back and forth should be simpler than when he was "smuggled" across as on previous trips (likely stuck using a passport card, so land crossings only). But it still can take hours. That's why most people opt not to go back and forth on the regular (although some brave people do commute this every day, typically working in SD but living in TJ).

TJ has a lot more access to whores and somewhat more access to illegal drugs, certainly more so in Ralph's price range. As has been mentioned upstream ITT, the underside of TJ is also really good at fleecing gringos, and it is much more violent than even San Diego or LA.

Ralph will eventually be the death of himself- it just depends on whether it's a choice of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or too much drugs in too short a time, or mouthing off to the wrong ése or chica. Hanging around in TJ won't extend his life any- the air quality is shit, the water polluted (even for Mexico), and the crime....

Edit: expansions and fixing phrasing
 
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Uh oh, sounds like Dick said he can't stay at the Barbie dream mansion. Doesn't want the drunken junkie ragepig around the prego forever-gf! It's tough!

Seems to me that Ralph is instinctively jealous of this baby, for it is another person in the way between him and Dick.

Less time for Ralph, more justifications (and excuses) to avoid him.
 
Seems to me that Ralph is instinctively jealous of this baby, for it is another person in the way between him and Dick.

Less time for Ralph, more justifications (and excuses) to avoid him.
He should see it as an opportunity for a great bonding experience once Dick becomes tired of pretending to give a shit about his forever-girlfriend and daughter and becomes a deadbeat just like Ralph! I assume he's not marrying Marie because he knows he will want to keep that option open wide.
 
I doubt Ralph could afford a hotel or airbnb unless he was way up in North County (Oceanside or Escondido), or way east (Santee or further). Then the uber costs start rising through the roof. So Ralph made the "frugal" choice of staying in Tijuana, which is pricey for Mexico but a right bargain compared to San Diego.
There is a cluster of truly awful motels in National City close to the Blue Line which are about the same price as Tijuana. This would allow for good public transit access.
 
Uh oh, sounds like Dick said he can't stay at the Barbie dream mansion. Doesn't want the drunken junkie ragepig around the prego forever-gf! It's tough!
Reminds me of how Dax enabled and protected Ralph while Pantsu and Faith were pregnant

It's consistent, but really highlights the narcissism that Dax only cares about kids if they're own. Every other child can be molested and given alcohol in the womb, but his is special and must be protected.
 
For those of you geographically challenged, Ralph is based again on this trip in TJ, which is just across the border from SD (likely because of costs, more on that below). L'il Piggertits lives in SD with his mom and
Tijuana is basically the slums of San Diego, cheaper than SD but unfortunately for Ralph more expensive than Merida. Also much less safe than Merida, lots of crime. Nevertheless Ralph has been talking about moving to TJ so he can visit lil Xannie without having to travel thousands of miles (which he can no longer afford to do.) It’s a lose/lose proposition for the poor piggy which could partially explain his current multi day bender.
 
Last time Ralph was in Tijuana he broke his hip possibly being thrown out of a strip club for taking creep shots and posting them on twitter. This time he’s drunk out of his mind and throwing punches at bouncers with his gimp arm. No wonder they didn’t press charges. No one would considering that an act of harm.
 
Ethan Ralph is my hero.
he has reached the point where a mere mortal man would have killed himself in shame or regret four times over.
I'm beginning to think that the competition between him and mortal men is not fair because he does not have the ability to feel regret or remorse.

Has he ever even used to word regret in any context that isn't "I regret not fuckin' that whore in the ass" and similar phrases?

Maybe he used the word in the Pantsu Poem but that was all about him being a poor ol' stuck pig and how the boar spear in his side really hurts.
 
I'm so happy we are having a Ralphaissance, after the horse galloped away and he couldn't last with that mexican prostitute he was starting to feel like an accessory for Rekeita and Dick and he wouldn't be his own man ever again. Ralphs back baby! And he's taking the world by storm!

Spitting in dick's face! Getting fined 5k dollarydoos for getting his ass beat! Pilled out of his fucking mind! Ronnie would be so fucking proud. Rekeita? Yesterdays news, bossman jack? Flash in the pan! I don't care what those fucking chinky noodle slurpers in the orient say, it's the year of the pig baby!
 
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He finished his two hour September visit around 11.30 am. It's now 9.20 am in California. Good chance that Xander is about to meet his father soon. He can share a few stories about the whore house he visited 4 months ago. Or face plant into the carpet high on Ambien. No matter what, these will be beloved memories for the little guy which he'll want to share with all his friends.
 
He DID say the kiwifarms is right. Maybe bridges can be mended. Maybe he can become a fellow user. I'm sure he'd be a great member of our wonderful community.

I'm sure he wouldn't constantly annoy null by posting unthumbnailed images and getting extremely tilted by negratings and keeping his sticker alerts on. Obviously I'm not even suggesting this because that sounds fucking hilarious or anything.
 
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